To the AUTHORS of the OXFORD MAGAZINE. "Tis certain, that the modifh paffions Defeend among the croud like fashions.” 46 GENTLEMEN, Ey NTHUSIASTIC love of liberis banished-in its room, our nobility have fubttituted the moft manly, most rational, and most elegant paflion, for racing, soching, and dice; which diverfions are of far greater import to them, (who exift enly in diffipation) than the bufinels of the state. Our fenators, knowing the evils which arife inevitably from feuds and factions; with an exampled meeknefs, quietly acquiefce in every measure of the m-ft-y, without inquifitively prying into the motives and confequences of them. They have no impertinent troublesome curiofity; a conduct, worthy admiration! Honour, duty, religion, are fpecious names, but they are obfolete, and, in the eye of these right judging men, fhrink into air before the more fubftantial penfion, coronet, far, garter, &c. How happily refined the age; how infinitely pleasing the comparilon, between thefe gentle men and their rough ancestors What strange beings were they! How uncouth, how untractable !ftiff in their opinions; ever refufing to give up their own ftubborn purpofes, which they cloaked under the plaufible titles of rights, privileges, the welfare of their country, &c. &c. Impartiality cannot deny, indeed, that even then fome weak efforts were made to force through that cloud of ignorance, and ftupidity; but the number which this laudable ambition poffeft, was too fmall to accomplish it. That break-break did I fay That full blaze of glory was referved for the prefent times, O terque quaterque beati! How amiable the gentle carriage of our heroes! CONSCIOUS INTEGRITY feats compla cency on their countenances; peace GAT. N- -, October 16, 1768. and ananimity are their delight; passive fubraiflion to government their principal merit. The glorious fpirit of emulation has feized on the commonalty; they imitate their fuperiors with admirable fuccefs. They safle of genteed life. They neglect their trades, they attend to nothing but polifting themfelves. In fhort, they are (as they wish to be) the patterns of their fmart, gay neighbours, the French, in every refpect. I must also allow, there are fome exceptions to this general reformation of manners throughout the kingdom; one county has particularly diftinguished itself, and in other places fome few of the lower clafs are yet rude and barbarous, and in a clamorous manner bawl for liberty, (to which they very riotously and feditiously add the name of W. They calumnize the great, and murmur at inconveniences they pretend arife from mal-adminiftration Strange inconfiftency! How evident the unreasonableness, the abfurdity of their conduct! Have not thefe very men re-elected thofe very gentlemen, who affitted the tranfactions they laasent, and who are at the head of the prefent mode? Does not this plainly indicate, a fecret approbation of their paft proceedings, and a defire that they should continue in the fame track & Is not this re-election making every future act of the reprefentative, the real act of the conttituents? Yesyes-certainly-undoubtedly yes. And from thence, I think we may conclude, they will fpeedily reform; for they have already fo far improved, as to have imbibed the general talle of their fuperiors; and are fo gan To the Authors of the Oxford Magazine. stel as to relinquish (for a few guineas, or a luxurious entertainment) what their fathers foolishly called an ineftimable privilege. The defervedly-admired regulation at antient Rome, by which merit alone in any man was fufficient to raife him to the highest honours of the state, is in fome measure efta blished by this excellent policy. Among us the method indeed is more adapted to the manners of a polite people, the natural confequence of its being more modern. To keep good company, is in almost every man's power; by good company, I would not be understood to mean, thofe to whom the antiquated ties of honour, virtue, or religion are facred. The illuftrious buck! The greatly extracted blood! The fpirited-no ble rake, compofe that fociety-into which thofe modern fine gentlemen, (by the four termed sharpers) thofe geniuses, remarkable for fenfe, pene tration, depth of judgment, &c. diftinguished by the appellation of atheifts; thofe accomplished heroes, who (in the eye of Folly) 100 years ago would have been called by the harfh name of villain, are admitted, and treated with the greatest urbanity, provided they make a fuitable and brilliant appearance. Nay, to fo great a height of good-nature and condescention are they arrived, that even the fool, if he has but the fingle qualification of being rich, fhall be fo far from meeting a repulfe, that he fhall be highly careffed. Our youth are early introduced to this noble, this improving fociety, in which they fo foon fhake off their natural rusticity, and attain fuch a perfection of manners, that you might as well look for those wild and boifter us paffions, patriotifm, love of liberty, and haughty contempt of life, 171 without it, among fine ladies, Frenchmen, or children. Now I mention the ladies, I can not be guilty of fuch" a folicifm in breeding," as to omit giving them, on this occafion, the praises they fo eminently deferue. The influence they have over our fex is great; the lively pleasure they exprefs, in the company of the aforementioned class of gentlemen; and the evident preference they give them, to thofe ftupid, furly mortals, who continue inflexible in their old principles, are encouragements which will doubtless facilitate the fpreading of the prefent fcheme of palite refinements... Here, again, I am obliged to own exceptions, and that there yet remain a few females, who are old-fashioned enough to blah; who retain the qua, lities of inconvenient modefty, and egregious fimplicity, together with that monitrous impolite method of fpeaking truth and plain sense, and who, (by never talking fcandal) greatly en courage immorality. The only fault to be found with your pamphlet is, that in fome places it feems to countenance thefe prudish, uninformed ladies, and in others, to applaud thofe abfurd, clamorous men of whom I have before com plained; by which means it prevents, instead of promoting, the general improvement of this nation. But make an effort to fave your reputation, and fhew the world you are not abfolutely determined on being queer, by the publication of this; for though I have not the vanity to imagine it will be of the fervice I could wish, yet it may furnifh a hint to fome of a better capacity, who may be able to perfuade my good countrymen to their happinefs and interefts. With this hope, remain, Gentlemen, Your admirer, and willing fervant, To the EDITORS of the OXFORD MAGAZINE. If the following be confiftent with the Plan of your Magazine, by infert ing it, you will oblige, Your humble Servant, · Speech of a learned Orator, delivered at a Club in Newcastle upon Tyne. "GENTLEMEN, "T HE queftion to be difcuffed this night is, "What are the moft effectual means to be used for employing our artizans and labour ers, enriching our manufacturers and tradefmen, and paying off the national debt?".-Now, I prefume, gentlemen, you cannot be infenfible, that whoever points out and demonftrates any irregularity or error in the ftate, is a friend to the ftate, and a promoter of its happiness. From the knowledge I have acquired, gentlemen, of the works of the ancient philofophers and poets, I cannot find that they are, or can be, any way fubfervient to the welfare of a community: because, they contain maxims founded on wrong principles; and indecencies, moft certainly unfit for a juvenile eye. Amongst the English writers, I think, the author of the Spectators has gained the greatest applaufe; but, for my part, I could never yet perceive a fenfible fentence in all his productions. To mention any others of later appearance would be unneceffary as well as abfurd; because they are objects of as much compaffion as ever tenanted the melancholy manfions on Shuggy-Shoe Hill, Mount Horrible, or the groaning afylum in Rosemary --. "Having thus far premifed, gentlemen, I fhall now proceed to the difcuffion of the question propofed. -First, then, as it is pretty evident the decline of our commercial interefts will neceffarily render a rédundancy of artificers and labourers, fo it will be apparent that this redundancy will perpetually endanger the properties of individuals. Now to turn these hands into a useful channel to the ftate, would be to obtain a law, in order to compel one fourth of our artificers and labourers to be tranfported, by ballot, every seven years to his majesty's dominions in America; as that continent, from its want of cultivation, &c. can easily difpenfe with fuch redundancy of its mother country. With refpect to the women, no claufe need be annexed for their emigration; for wherever the men are, there will the women be alfo.-But at the fame time, gentlemen, I prefume it would be abfolutely neceffary, to prevent this country fuffering by the many remittances of cafh to the western world, for the purpose of civilization and the like; I fay, I think it would be neceffary, that fuch ballotting fhould always commence in the year immediately preceding a general election, that the moral and religious principles of fuch artizans and labourers might not be vitiated by bribery and corruption; and thence render them fit inftruments, by example, for inculcating the divine principia amongst the untutored favages of the weltern continent. Having now finished the first part of the queftion, I fhall proceed to the fecond, the enriching our manufacturers and tradesmen. To effect this, it must appear evident, we fhould retrieve our commerical interefts with foreign powers, by reducing the price of our commodities, and making them of a little better quality. Such reduction, may be urged, cannot be complied with from the high price of labour. But this reafon will diffipate, when it is con fidered, Speech of a learned Orator, delivered at a Club in Newcastle upon Tyne. 173 fidered, that the feptennial tranfpor- our purpose, let us only reflect of tation of our artizans and labourers what importance our feptennial emi-' will neceffarily increafe the quantity grants will be in populating and of our provifions for the remainder, ftrengthening our power beyond the and confequently reduce their price, Atlantic. Could not we, on the first: fo that the wages of the labourer may breach with our reftiefs continental be likewife reduced, and thereby neighbours, in concert with that effect the forementioned purpofe. power, easily carry the British arms Next to this advantage, I fhall re- with glory to the moft fouthern limark another, and that is, thofe mits of Patagonia? I fay, could not imports which we fo feverely feel for we, on fuch a breach, annex all the maintenance of the poor will, by South America to the British crown? this feptennial transportation, totally This is as practicable, gentlemen, as ceafe, as we shall have then no more it is important. And what advanlabourers than there will be labour tages will not accrue from this acto execute and confequently our quifition? There would our dauntpoor-houses, &c. may be all con- lefs, fubterraneous labourers deverted into factories or warehouses, fcend the deepest cavern, and tear the and half the number of our hofpi- golden ftrata to the face of day. tals rendered into elegant manfions Figure to yourfelves, gentlemen, for our people of quality. Nor this precious ore lying in mountains, will our freets, gentlemen, be any as we lay our coals-does not the more pestered with victims of wretch- mere imaginary profpect fenfitively ednefs and want; nor our eyes of electrify your fifts ?-And place now fended with objects which perpetually our national debt nearly in contact" interrupt that facred love and friend- with thefe fplendid heaps :-does it ship that should ever flow in the nar- not represent ftar of the fifth magrow channel of natural affections. nitude twinkling by the margin of a These confiderations, gentlemen, are glorious full moon?-Happy Britons! entirely original, and I am well What nation durft then combat so affured muft prove ftubborn facts.- brave, fo opulent a people.-Every Many writers, it is true, have at- individual amongst us would partempted to effect fo falutary a plan, take of the fruits of this conqueft. but hitherto all their arguments have been as dark and intricate as the very mines of Benton." "I come now to the laft and great point, of paying off the national debt. This capital, this moft important ftep, commands, no doubt, your greatest attention; and I fhall endeavour to exert my beft abilities in fo momentous a concern.-You must know then, gentlemen, that Britain, this favourite ifle, can never, from its own commerical intercourfe, effect fo defirable a purpose.-No! We muft feck the inftrument over the liquid turnpike of nature, in the bowels of South America; there lies the fountain. Now, to accomplish You, gentlemen, who are blessed with the iffue of an honest love, feel you not the effects of this acquifition? Does not your hearts flutter with joy, when you look forward, and behold your children, and your children's children, placed beyond the reach of anxiety and buffle, entertaining every appetite with its proper gratification, and ftrutting in all the gaiety of oriental pomp? O riches! No language can exprefs your excellence ; no tongue can chant forth all your praise. Your fphere exceeds the fphere of poverty, more than the bounds of the univerfe exceed the bounds of this quart pot!" Ꮓ Here Here ended our orator, with an univerfal burft of applaufe from the little tipling fenate. The next queftion propofed to be difcuffed was, "To what cause may be attributed that petulance and ill-nature fo generally attending old maids and, batchelors ?" To the EDITORS of the OXFORD MAGAZINE. Corporis Auxilium Medico Committe Fideli. Alas! there are too many infignificant articles in the materia medica ftill retained in our difpenfatories, among which I reckon even Vipers none of the least. Therefore, for the abridgement of the apothecary's labour, the advantage of the patient, and improvement of phyfick, I am for having Vipers, with all their idle preparations, although an old article in the materia medica, as coftly as infignificant, for the future, to be wholly expunged the fhops. Certainly, to improve from former ignorance, or mistakes of our ancestors, is a very laudable work, efpecially upon the neceffary and ufeful art of healing. The defigned end of this branch of my new medical undertaking, the reformation of phyfick, I mean, and which, if approved of, you may depend upon hearing further from me about it. The ferpent was of old among the Egyptian hieroglyphics, by many fimpletons made the fymbol of life, and that long before it was made an article of healing; wherefore Efculapius is reprefented with a ferpent as a proper badge of his bufinefs, becaufe, for Leigh, November 1, 1768. footh, it cafts its fkin, fo feemed to them to renew its youth: whence myftic philofophers, from the ferpent's undergoing fuch alterations of annually reftoring itself, as they imagined, to fresh health and vigour, gave it the reputation of a grand restorative; for there is no end of whimsies in phyfic that have been idlly invented, and even afterwards confided in upon very low, and filly conceits; of which the famous Culpeper, that oracle of old women, and other aftromedical gentry, give manifeft instances; and it is very wonderful to fee. how even the wife oft times err; and there is no error that has once had a mother that will ever die for want of a nurfe. Bold was that man, furely, who firft dared venture on eating a ferpent; and it might equally be applied to him, what Horace faid on an other occafion, Illi robur, & as triplex erat. And it is really wonderful to think how an animalfo much abhorred, and dreaded, and with whom we have fo natural an enmity, fhould ever be fwallowed down by the human fpecies for internal ufes: but even this inftance fhews how far weak enthufiafm can carry folks. Antonius Mufa, Auguftus's phyfician, for the cure of bad ulcers ordered his patients to live on vipers. Galen tells us their internal use arose (as most medical discoveries generally have) from mere accident; from a leper's drinking wine into which a viper, allured thereby, chanced to fall. |