The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged SiblingSimon and Schuster, 17.09.2002 - 224 Seiten In the first book of its kind, renowned psychotherapist Jeanne Safer examines the hidden trauma of growing up with an emotionally troubled or physically disabled sibling, and helps adult "normal" siblings resolve their childhood pain. For too long the therapeutic community has focused on the parent-child relationship as the primary relationship in a child's life. In The Normal One, Dr. Safer shows that sisters and brothers are just as important as parents, and she illuminates for the first time the experience of being "the normal one." Drawing on more than sixty interviews with normal, or intact, siblings, Safer explores the daunting challenges they face, and probes the complex feelings that can strain families and damage lives. A “normal” sibling herself, Safer chronicles her own life-shaping experiences with her troubled brother. She examines the double-edged reality of normal ones: how they both compensate for their siblings’ abnormality and feel guilty for their own health and success. With both wisdom and empathy, she delineates the “Caliban Syndrome,” a set of personality traits characteristic of higher-functioning siblings: premature maturity, compulsion to achieve, survivor guilt, and fear of contagion. Essential reading for normal ones and those who love them, this landmark work offers readers insight, compassion, and tools to help resolve childhood pain. It is a profound and eye-opening examination of a subject that has too long been shrouded in darkness. |
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Seite xvi
... of their normal brothers and sisters , as manifested in the four symptoms of the Caliban Syn- drome that this book examines : • Premature maturity + + Survivor guilt + Compulsion to achieve + Fear of contagion The Caliban xvi introduction.
... of their normal brothers and sisters , as manifested in the four symptoms of the Caliban Syn- drome that this book examines : • Premature maturity + + Survivor guilt + Compulsion to achieve + Fear of contagion The Caliban xvi introduction.
Seite xvii
Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling Jeanne Safer. + Compulsion to achieve + Fear of contagion The Caliban Syndrome has an impact far beyond the immediate families of the disabled and the difficult . These relationships are an ...
Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling Jeanne Safer. + Compulsion to achieve + Fear of contagion The Caliban Syndrome has an impact far beyond the immediate families of the disabled and the difficult . These relationships are an ...
Seite xix
... achieve , where you go , or who you love , that other's life remains your secret alternative template , the chasm into which you could plunge if you misstep . Whether you know it or not , his is the doom you dare not duplicate , the ...
... achieve , where you go , or who you love , that other's life remains your secret alternative template , the chasm into which you could plunge if you misstep . Whether you know it or not , his is the doom you dare not duplicate , the ...
Seite 8
... achieving it took editing out one member . Steven was a convenient receptacle for all negativity and strife . We had no problems ; he was the problem , and there was no solu- tion . Using a child for this purpose , a popular strategy ...
... achieving it took editing out one member . Steven was a convenient receptacle for all negativity and strife . We had no problems ; he was the problem , and there was no solu- tion . Using a child for this purpose , a popular strategy ...
Seite 23
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Inhalt
A Life of Ones Own | 137 |
My Brothers Keeper | 139 |
The Caliban Syndrome | 159 |
Acknowledgment | 179 |
bibliography | 197 |
index | 201 |
Andere Ausgaben - Alle anzeigen
The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling Jeanne Safer, Ph.D. Eingeschränkte Leseprobe - 2003 |
The Normal One: Life with a Difficult or Damaged Sibling Jeanne Safer Keine Leseprobe verfügbar - 2002 |
The Normal One: Life with a Difficult Or Damaged Sibling Jeanne Safer Keine Leseprobe verfügbar - 2003 |
Häufige Begriffe und Wortgruppen
abnormal sibling accept achieve acknowledge adult Amy Goodman anxiety attention autistic awful truth became become behavior borderline sister brother or sister brothers and sisters Caliban Syndrome caretaker child childhood Cindy compassion compulsion Damaged Families damaged sibling daugh daughter depressed disabled dread dream efforts emotional envy everything fail fantasy fate father fear of contagion feel felt forever friends guilt healthy intact sibling invisible Jack Morelli Jackie Hanson Jackie's Jennifer Martin Joan lings lives Maggie Maggie Payne Manny Marc mental illness Miranda mother needs never normal children normal siblings older brother Oliver Sacks pain paranoid parents person physically play preeminent premature maturity problem child Prospero punishment Randy Lane realize Rebecca recognize relationship repudiation responsibility role Sandy Wilson says schizophrenic brother seems sense shame share sibling's Steven Survivor guilt therapy thing thought tion told troubled trying unconscious woman worry younger
Beliebte Passagen
Seite 46 - Be not afeard ; the isle is full of noises, Sounds, and sweet airs, that give delight, and hurt not. Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments Will hum about mine ears ; and sometime voices, That, if I then had wak'd after long sleep, Will make me sleep again : and then, in dreaming, The clouds methought would open, and show riches Ready to drop upon me ; that, when I wak'd, I cried to dream again.
Seite 17 - When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things. For now we see through a glass darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
Seite 45 - A devil, a born devil, on whose nature Nurture can never stick ; on whom my pains, Humanely taken, all, all lost, quite lost ; And as, with age, his body uglier grows, So his mind cankers.
Seite 46 - Abhorred slave, Which any print of goodness wilt not take, Being capable of all ill! I pitied thee, Took pains to make thee speak, taught thee each hour One thing or other: when thou didst not, savage, Know thine own meaning, but wouldst gabble like A thing most brutish, I endow'd thy purposes With words that made them known.
Seite 47 - He is as disproportion'd in his manners, As in his shape.— Go, sirrah, to my cell ; Take with you your companions : as you look To have my pardon, trim it handsomely. Cal. Ay, that I will ; and I'll be wise hereafter, And seek for grace. What a thrice-double ass Was I, to take this drunkard for a god, And worship this dull fool ! Pro.
Seite x - Then all at once my sister touches my shoulder. I turn around and look into her eyes . . . Oh, Laura, Laura, I tried to leave you behind me, but I am more faithful than I intended to be!
Seite 45 - And show'd thee all the qualities o' the isle, The fresh springs, brine-pits, barren place, and fertile ; Cursed be I that did so ! — All the charms Of Sycorax, toads, beetles, bats, light on you ! For I am all the subjects that you have, Which first was mine own king ; and here you sty me In this hard rock, whiles you do keep from me The rest of the island.
Seite 45 - You taught me language; and my profit on't Is, I know how to curse : The red plague rid you, For learning me your language ! Pro.
Seite x - ... followed, from then on, in my father's footsteps, attempting to find in motion what was lost in space— I traveled around a great deal. The cities swept about me like dead leaves, leaves that were brightly colored but torn away from the branches. I would have stopped, but I was pursued by something. It always came upon me unawares, taking me altogether by surprise. Perhaps it was a familiar bit of music. Perhaps it was only a piece of transparent glass— Perhaps I am walking along a street...
Seite 50 - You do look, my son, in a moved sort, As if you were dismayed : be cheerful, sir : Our revels now are ended : these our actors, As I foretold you, were all spirits, and Are melted into air, into thin air...
Verweise auf dieses Buch
Sober Siblings: How to Help Your Alcoholic Brother Or Sister-and Not Lose ... Patricia Olsen,Petros Levounis Eingeschränkte Leseprobe - 2008 |