to enfnare our wards into their own good. I have of late been upon fuch hard duty, and know you have so much work for me, that I think fit to appear to you face to face, to defire you will give me as little occafion for vigilance as you can. Sir, faid I, it will be a great instruction to me in behaviour, if you please to give me fome account. of your late employments, and what hardships or fatisfactions you have had in them, that I may govern myself accordingly. He anfwered, To give you an example of the drudgery we go through, I will entertain you only with my three laft ftations. I was on the first of April laft put to mortify a great beauty,, with whom I was a week; from her I went to a common fwearer, and have been laft with a gamefter. When I first came to my lady, I found my great work was to guard well her eyes and ears; but her flatterers were fo numerous, and the house, after the modern way, fo full of looking-glaffes, that I feldom had her fafe but in her fleep. Whenever we went abroad, we were furrounded by an ariny of enemies. When a well-made man appeared, he was fure to have a fide-glance of obfervation. If a difagreeable fellow, he had a full face, out of mere inclination to conquefts. " But at the close of the evening, on the fixth of the last month, my ward was fitting on a couch, reading_Ovid's Epiftles; and as the came to this line of Helen to Paris, She half confents who filently denies, I faw entered Philander, who is the most skilful of all men in an addrefs to women. He is arrived at the perfection of that art which gains them, which is, to talk like a very miferable man, but look like a very happy one. Dictinna blush at his entrance, which gave me the alarm; but he immediately faid fomething fo agreeably on her being at study, and the novelty of finding a lady employed in fo grave a manner, that he on a fudden became familiarly a man of no confequence; and in an inftant laid all her fufpicions of his kill afleep, as he almost had done mine, until I obferved him very dangerously turn his discourse upon the elegance of her dress, and her judgment in the choice of that very pretty mourning. Having very Having had women before under my care, I trembled at the apprehenfion of a man of fenfe who could talk upon trifles, and refolved to stick to my post with all the circumfpection imaginable. In fhort, I prepoffeffed her against all he could fay to the advantage of her dress and perfon; but he turned again the difcourfe, where I found I had no power over her, on the abusing her friends and acquaintance. He allowed indeed that Flora had a little beauty, and a great deal of wit; but then fhe was fo ungainly in her behaviour, and fuch a laughing hoyden. Poftorella had with him the allowance of being blamelefs; but what was that towards being praife-worthy? To be only innocent, is not to be virtuous. He afterwards fpoke fo much against Mrs. Dipple's forehead, Mrs. Prim's mouth, Mrs. Dentifrice's teeth, and Mrs. Fidget's cheeks, that he grew downright in love with him ; for it is always to be understood, that a lady takes all you detract from the rest of her sex to be a gift to her. In a word, things went fo far, that I was difmiffed, and the will remember that evening nine months, from the fixth of April, by a very remarkable token. The next, as I faid, I went to, was a common fwearer. Never was a ereature fo puzzled as myself, when I came firft to view his brain; half of it was worn out, and filled up with mere expletives, that had nothing to do with any other parts of the texture; therefore when he called for his clothes in the morning, he would cry, John John does not anfwer. What a plague! nobody there? What the devil, and rot me! John for a lazy dog as you are. I knew no way to cure him, but by writing down all he faid one morning as he was dreffing, and laying it before him on the toilet when he came to pick his teeth. The laft recital I gave him of what he faid for half an hour before was, What, a pox rot me! where is the wash-ball? call the chairmen : damn them, I warrant they are at the alehoufe already! zounds, and confound them. When he came to the glafs, he takes up my note-Ha! this fellow is worfe than me: what, does he swear with pen and ink! But reading on, he found them to be his own words. The ftratagem had fo good an effect upon E 4 him, him, that he grew immediately a new man, and is learning to fpeak without an oath, which makes him extremely fhort in his phrases; for, as I obferved before, a common fwearer has a brain without any idea on the fwearing fide; therefore my ward has yet a mighty little to say, and is forced to fubftitute fome other vehicle of nonfenfe, to fupply the defect of his ufual expletives. When I left him, he made ufe of Odfbodikins! Oh me! and never ftir alive and fo forth which gave me hopes of his recovery. So I went to the next I told you of, the gamefter. When we first take our place about a man, the receptacles of the pericranium àre immediately fearched. In his, I found no one ordinary trace of thinking; but ftrong paffion, violent defires, and a continued feries of different changes, had torn it to pieces. There appeared no middle condition; the triumph of a prince, or the mifery of a beggar, were his alternate ftates. I was with bim no longer than one day, which was yesterday. In the morning at twelve we were worth four thousand pounds; at three, we were arrived at fix thousand; half an hour after, we were reduced to one thousand; at four of the clock, we were down to two hundred; at five, to fifty; at fix, to five; at feven to one guinea; the next bet, to nothing. This morning he borrowed half a crown of the maid who cleans his fhoes; and is now gaming in Lincoln's-inn fields among the boys for farthings and oranges, until he has made up three pieces, and then he returns to White's into the best company in town. This ended our first discourse; and it is hoped, you will forgive me that I have picked fo little out of my companion at our first interview. In the next, it is poffible, he may tell me more pleafing incidents; for though he is a familiar, he is not an evil spirit. St. James's Coffee-house, May 9. WE hear from the Hague of the fourteenth inftant, N. S. that monfieur de Torcy hath, had frequent conferences with the grand penfioner, and the other minifters who were heretofore commiffioned to treat with monfieur Rouille. Rouille. The preliminaries of a peace are almoft fettled and the proceedings wait only for the arrival of the duk of Marlborough; after whofe approbation of the articles propofed, it is not doubted but the methods of the treaty will be publicly known. In the mean time the ftates have declared an abhorrence of taking any ftep in this great affair, but in concert with the court of Great Britain, and other princes of the alliance. The posture of affairs in France does neceffarily oblige that nation to be very much in earneft in their offers; and monfieur de Torcy hath professed to the grand pensioner, that he will avoid all occafions of giving him the leaft jealousy, of his ufing any addrefs in private converfation for accomplishing the ends of his embaffy. It is faid, that as foon as the preliminaries are adjusted, that minifter is to return to the French court. The ftates of Holland have refolved to make it an inftruction to all their men of war and privateers, to bring into their ports whatever neutral fhips they fhall meet with, laden with corn, and bound for France; and to avoid all caufe of complaint from the potentates to whom these ships fhall belong, their full demand for their freight fhall be paid them there. The French protestants refiding in that country have applied themselves to their refpective magiftrates, defiring that there may be an article in the treaty of peace, which may give liberty of confcience to the proteftants in France. Monfieur Bosnage, minifter of the Walloon church at Rotterdam, has been at the Hague, and hath had fome conferences with the deputies of the ftates on that fubject. It is reported there, that all the French refugees in those dominions are to be naturalized, that they may enjoy the fame good effects of the treaty with the Hollanders themfelves, in refpect of France. Letters from Paris fay, the people conceive great hopes of a fudden peace, from monfieur Torcy's being employed in the negociation; he being a minifter of too great weight in that court to be fent on any employment, in which his master would not act in a manner wherein he might justly promife himself fuccefs. The French advices add, that there is an infurrection in Poictou, 3000 E 5 men men having taken up arms, and beaten the troops which were appointed to difperfe them: three of the mutineers, being taken, were immediately executed; and as many of the king's party were used after the fame manner. Our late act of naturalization hath had fo great an effect in foreign parts, that fome princes have prohibited the French refugees in their dominions to fell or tranffer their eftates to any other of their fubjects; and at the fame time have granted them greater immunities than they hitherto enjoyed. It has been alfo thought neceffary, to reftrain their own fubjects from leaving their native country on pain of death. NO. 14. THURDAY, MAY 12, 1709. From my own Apartment, May 10. HAD it not been that my familiar had appeared to me, as I told you in my laft, in perfon, I had certainly been unable to have found even words without meaning, to keep up my intelligence with the town; but he has checked me feverely for my defpondence, and ordered me to go on in my defign of obferving upon things, and forbearing perfons: for, faid he, the age you live in is fuch, that a good picture of any vice or virtue will infallibly be mifreprefented; and though none will take the kind defcriptions you make fo much to themselves, as to wish well to the author, yet all will refent the ill characters you produce, out of fear of their own turn in the licence you must be obliged to take, if you point at particular perfons. I took this admonition kindly, and immediately promised him to beg paidon of the author of the Advice to the Poets, for my raillery upon his work; though I aimed at no more in that examination, but to convince him, and all men of genius, of the folly of laying themfelves out on fuch plans as are below their characters. I hope too it was done without ill breeding, and nothing spoken |