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A Tale-for the Ladies.

MISS Molly, a fam'd toaft, was fair and young,
Had wealth and charms-but then fhe had a tongue
From morn to night th' eternal larum rung,
Which often loft those hearts her eyes had won.

Sir John was fmitten, and confefs'd his flame,
Sigh'd out the ufual time, then wed the dame;
Poffefs'd, he thought of ev'ry joy of life;
But his dear Molly prov'd a very wife.
Excefs of fondness did in time decline,
Madam lov'd money, and the knight lov'd wine,
From whence fome petty difcords would arife,
As, You're a fool-and, You are mighty wife!

Tho' he and all the world allow'd her wit,
Her voice was fhrill, and rather loud than fweet s
When fhe began-for hat and sword he'd call,
Then after a faint kifs,-cry, B'y, dear Moll:
Supper and friends expect me at the Rofe.
And, what fir John, you'll get your ufual dose!
Go, ftink of smoke, and guzzle nafty wine;
Sure, never virtuous love was us'd like mine!

Oft as the watchful bell-man march'd his round,
At a fresh bottle gay fir John he found.
By four the knight would get his business done,
And only then reel'd off, because alone;
Full well he knew the dreadful ftorm to come,

But arm'd with Bourdeaux, he durft venture home.

My lady with her tongue was ftill prepar'd,
She rattled loud, and he impatient heard:
'Tis a fine hour In a fweet pickle made 1
And this, fir John, is ev'ry day the trade.


Here I fit moping all the live-long night,
Devour'd with fpleen, and ftranger to delight;
Till morn fends ftagg'ring home a drunken beaft,
Refolv'd to break my heart, as well as reft.

Hey! hoop! d'ye hear my damn'd obftrep'rous spouse
What, can't you find one bed about the house?
Will that perpetual clack lie never still?

That rival to the softness of a mill!

Some couch and diftant room must be my choice,
Where I may fleep uncurs'd with wife and noife.

Long this uncomfortable life they led,
With fnarling meals, and each a sep'rate bed.
To an old uncle oft the would complain,
Beg his advice, and scarce from tears refrain.
Old Wifewood fmok'd the matter as it was,
Cheer up, cry'd he ! and I'll remove the caufe.

A wondrous fpring within my garden flows,'
Of fov'reign virtue, chiefly to compofe
Domeftic jars, and matrimonial ftrife,
The beft elixir t' appeafe man and wife;
Strange are th' effects, the qualities divine,

'Tis water call'd, but worth its weight in wine.
If in his fullen airs fir John fhould come,

Three fpoonfuls take, hold in your mouth-then mum:

Smile, and look pleas'd, when he fhall rage and fcold,

Still in your mouth the healing cordial hold;

One month this fympathetic med'cine try'd,
He'll grow a lover, you a happy bride,

But, deareft niece, keep this grand fecret close,
Or ev'ry prattling huffey 'll beg a dose.

A water bottle's brought for her relief;
Not Nants could fooner ease the lady's grief.
Her bufy thoughts are on the trial bent,
And, female like, impatient for th' event!

The bonny knight reels home exceeding clear, Prepar'd for clamour and domestic war:



Ent'ring, he cries,-Hey! where's our thunder fled!
No hurricane! Betty's your lady dead?

Madam, afide, an ample mouthful takes,
Court'fies, looks kind, but not a word she speaks:
Wond'ring, he star'd, fcarcely his eyes believ'd,
But found his ears agreeably deceiv'd.

Why, how now, Molly, what's the crotchet now?
She fmiles, and anfwers only with a bow.
Then clafping her about-Why, let me die!
Thefe night-clothes, Moll, become thee mightily!
With that, he figh'd, her hand began to press,
And Betty calls, her lady to undress.

Nay, kifs me, Molly, for I'm much inclin'd:
Her lace the cuts, to take him in the mind.
Thus the fond pair to bed enamour'd went,
The lady pleas'd, and the good knight content.

For many days these fond endearments past,
The reconciling bottle fails at last;

'Twas us'd and gone-Then midnight storms arofe,
And looks and words the union difcompofe.
Her coach is order'd, and poit-hafte the flies
To beg her uncle for fome fresh fupplies,
Transported does the ftrange effects relate,
Her knight's converfion, and her happy state!

Why, niece, fays he,-I pr'ythee apprehend,
The water's water-be thyfelf thy friend:
Such beauty would the coldeft hufband warm,
But your provoking tongue undoes the charm:
Be filent and complying-You'll foon find,
Sir John, without a med'cine, will be kind.

St. James's Coffee-houfe, April 13.

LETTERS from Venice fay, the difappointment of their expectation to fee his Danish majefty has very much difquited the court of Rome. Our laft advices from Germany inform us, that the minifter of Hanover has urged the council at Ratisbonne to exert themselves in behalf of the common cause, and taken the liberty to fay, That the


dignity, the virtue, the prudence of his electoral highnefs, his mafter, were called to the head of their affairs in vain, if they thought fit to leave him naked of the proper means to make those excellencies useful for the honour and fafety of the empire. They write from Berlin of the thirteenth, O. S. That the true defign of general Fleming's vifit to that court was, to infinuate that it will be for the mutual interest of the king of Pruffia and king Auguftus to enter into a new alliance; but that the minifters of Pruffia are not inclined to his fentiments. We hear from Vienna, that his imperial majefty has expreffed great fatisfaction in their high mightineffes having communicated to him the whole that has paffed in the affair of a peace. Though there have been practices ufed by the agents of France, in all the courts of Europe, to break the good understanding of the allies, they have had no other effect, but to make all the members concerned in the alliance more doubtful of their fafety from the great offers of the enemy. The emperor is roufed by this alarm, and the frontiers of all the French dominions are in danger of being infulted the enfuing campaign. Advices from all parts confirm, that it is impoffible for France to find a way to obtain fo much credit, as to gain any one potentate of the allies, or conceive any hope for fafety from other prospects.

From my own Apartment, April 13.

I FIND it of great use, now I am setting up for a writer of news, that I am an adept in aftrological fpeculations; by which means I avoid fpeaking of things which may offend great perfons. But, at the fame time, I must not prostitute the liberal sciences so far, as not to utter the truth in cafes which do immediately concern the good of my native country. I must therefore contradict what has been fo affuredly reported by the news-writers of England, that France is in the most deplorable condition, and that their people die in great multitudes. I will therefore let the world know, that my correfpondent, by of Bruffels, informs me upon his honour, That B 6

the way


the gentleman who writes the Gazette of Paris, and ought to know as well as any man, has told him, that ever fince the king has been paft his fixty-third year, or grand climacteric, there has not died one man of the French nation, who was younger than his majetty, except very few, who were taken fuddenly near the village of Hocftet in Germany; and fome more who were ftraitened for lodging at a place called Ramelies, and died on the road to Ghent and Bruges. There are alfo other things given out by the allies, which are fhifts below a conquering nation to make use of. Among others it is faid there is a general murmuring among the people of France, though at the fame time all my letters agree, that there is fo good an understanding among them, that there is not one morfel carried out of any market in the kingdom, but what is delivered upon credit.

NO. 3. SATURDAY, APRIL 16, 1709.

Will's Coffee-houfe, April 14.

THIS evening the comedy, called the Country Wife, was acted in Drury-lane, for the benefit of Mrs. Bignell. The part which gives name to the play was performed by herself. Through the whole action fhe made a very pretty figure, and exactly entered into the nature of the part. Her husband, in the drama, is reprefented to be one of thofe debauchees, who run through the vices of the town, and believe, when they think fit, they can marry and fettle at their eafe. His own knowledge of the iniquity of the age makes him choose a wife wholly ignorant of it, and place his fecurity in her want of skill to abuse him. The poet, on many occafions, where the propriety of the character will admit of it, infinuates, that there is no defence against vice, but the contempt of it: and has, in the natural ideas of an untainted innocent, fhown the gradual fteps to ruin and deftruction, which perfons

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