It

during this whole war. He had laid about him with an inexpreffible fury; and, like the offended Marius of ancient Rome, made fuch havoc among his countrymen, as must be the work of two or three ages to repair. must be confeffed, the redoubted Mr. Buckley has fhed as much blood as the former; but I cannot forbear faying (and I hope it will not look like envy) that we regard our brother Buckley as a kind of Drawcanfir, who fpares neither friend nor foe; but generally kills as many of his own fide as the enemies. It is impoffible for this ingenious fort of men to fubfift after a peace: every one' remembers the fhifts they were driven to in the reign of king Charles the fecond, when they could not furnish out a fingle paper of news, without lighting up a comet in Germany, or a fire in Moscow. There fcarce appeared a letter without a paragraph on an earthquake. Prodigies were grown fo familiar, that they had loft their name, as a great poet of this age has it. I remember Mr. Dyer, who is juftly looked upon by all foxhunters in the nation as the greatest ftatefman our country has produced, was particularly famous for dealing in whales; infomuch, that in five months time (for I had the curiofity to examine his letters on that occafion), he brought three into the mouth of the river Thames, befides two perpuffes and a fturgeon. The judicious and wary Mr. J. Dawks hath all along been the rival of this great writer, and got himfelf a reputation from plagues and famines by which, in thofe days, he deftroyed as great multitudes, as he has lately done by the fword. In every dearth of news, Grand Cairo was fure to be unpeopled.

It being therefore visible, that our fociety will be greater fufferers by the peace than the foldiery itself, infomuch that the Daily Courant is in danger of being broken, my friend Dyer of being reformed, and the very best of the whole band of being reduced to half-pay; might I prefume to offer any thing in the behalf of my diftreffed brethren, I would humbly move, that an appendix of proper partments, furnished with pen, ink, and paper, and ther neceffaries of life, fhould be added to the hofpital of Chelsea, for the relief of fuch decayed news-writers as

8

have

have ferved their country in the wars; and that for their exercise they should compile the annals of their brother veterans, who have been engaged in the fame service, and are still obliged to do duty after the fame manner.

I cannot be thought to speak this out of an eye to any private intereft; for as my chief scenes of action are coffee-houses, play-houfes, and my own apartinent, I am in no need of camps, fortifications, and fields of battle, to fupport me; I do not call out for heroes and generals to my affiftance. Though the officers are broken, and the armies difbanded, I fhall ftill be fafe as long as there are men or women, or politicians, or lovers, or poets, or nymphs, or fwains, or cits, or courtiers, in being.

NO. 19. TUESDAY, MAY 24, 1709.

From my own Apartment, May 20.

THERE is nothing can give a man of any confideration greater pain, than to fee order and diftinétion laid afide amongst men, especially when the rank. (of which he himfelf is a member) is intruded upon by fuch as have no preténce to that honour. The appellation of efquire is the most notoriously abufed in this kind, of any clafs amongst men; infomuch, that it is become almost the fubject of derifion but I will be bold to fay, this behaviour towards it proceeds from the ignorance of the people in its true origin. I fhall therefore, as briefly as poffible, do myself, and all true efquires, the juftice to look into antiquity upon this fubject.

In the first ages of the world, before the invention of jointures and fettlements, when the noble paffion of love had poffeffion of the hearts of men, and the fair sex were not yet cultivated into the merciful difpofition which they have fhewed in later centuries, it was natural for great and heroic fpirits to retire to rivulets, woods, and caves, to lament their destiny and the cruelty of the fair perfons

who

who were deaf to all their lamentations.

The hero in

this distress was generally in armour, and in a readiness to fight any man he met with, efpecially if diftinguished by any extraordinary qualifications; it being the nature of heroic love to hate all merit, left it should come within the obfervation of the cruel one by whom its own perfections are neglected. A lover of this kind had always about him a perfon of a fecond value, and fubordinate to him, who could hear his afflictions, carry an inchantment for his wounds, hold his helmet when he was eating (if ever he did eat), or in his abfence, when he was retired to his apartment in any king's palace, tell the prince himself, or perhaps his daughter, the birth, parentage, and adventures, of his valiant mafter. This trufty companion was ftyled his efquire, and was always fit for any offices about him; was as gentle and chaffe as a gentleman-uther, quick and active as an equerry, fmooth and eloquent as a master of the ceremonies. A man thus qualified was the firft, as the ancients affirm, who was called an efquire; and none without thefe accomplishments ought to affumeour order: but, to the utter difgrace and confufion of the heralds, every pretender is admitted into this fraternity,, even perfons the most foreign to this courteous inftitution. I have taken an inventory of all within this city, and looked over every letter in the poft-office for my better information There are of the Middle Temple, including all in the buttery-books, and in the lifts of the house, five thoufand. In the Inner, four thousand. In the King'sbench Walks, the whole buildings are inhabited by efquires only. The adjacent streets of Effex, from Morris's coffee-houfe, and the turning towards the Grecian, you cannot meet one who is not an efquire, until you take water. Every houfe in Norfolk and Arundel ftreets is governed alfo by an efquire, or his lady. Soho-square, Bloomsbury-fquare, and all other places where the floors Fife above nine feet, are fo many univerfities where you enter yourselves, and become of our order. However, if this were the worst of the evil, it were to be supported, because they are generally men of fome figure, and ufe; though I know no pretence they have to an honour,

which

which had its rife from chivalry. But if you travel into the counties of Great Britain, we are fill more impofed upon by innovation. We are indeed derived from he field: but fhall that give title to all that ride mad after foxes, that halloo when they fee an hare, or venture their necks full speed after an hawk, immediately to commence efquires? No; our order is temperate, cleanly, fober, and chafte; but thefe rural efquires commit immodefties upon hay-cocks, wear fhirts half a week, and are drunk twice a day. Thefe men are alfo, to the laft degree, exceffive in their food: an efquire of Norfolk eats two pounds of dumplin every meal, as if obliged to it by our order. An efquire of Hampshire is as ravenous in devouring hogs-flefh: one of Effex has as little mercy on calves. But I must take the liberty to protest against them, and acquaint thofe perfons, that it is not the quantity they eat, but the manner of eating, that fhews an efquire. But, above all, I am moft offended at finall quilhmen, and tranfcribing clerks, who are all come inta our order, for no reason that I know of, but that they can easily flourish it at the end of their name. I will undertake that if you read the fubfcriptions to all the offices. in the kingdom, you will not find three letters directed to any but efquires. I have myfelf a couple of clerks, and the rogues make nothing of leaving ineffages upon each other's defk: one directs, To Degory Goofequill, efquire;” to which the other replies by a note, To Nehemiah Dathwell, efquire, 'with refpect; in a word, it is now Populus Armigerorum, A people of efquires. And I do not know but, by the late act of naturalization, foreigners will af fume that title, as part of the immunity of being Englishmen. All thefe improprieties flow from the negligence of the heralds-office. Thefe gentlemen in party-coloured habits do not fo rightly, as they ought, understand themfelves; though they are dreffed cap-a-pee in hieroglyphics, they are inwardly but ignorant men. I asked an

acquaintance of mine, who is a man of wit, but of no fortune, and is forced to appear as a jack-pudding on the ftage to a mountebank: Pray thee, Jack, why is your coat of fo many colours? He replied, I act a fool, and this

Spotted

fpotted dress is to fignify, that every man living has a weak place about him; for I am knight of the fhire, and reprefent you all. I wifh the heralds would know as well as this man does, in his way, that they are to act for us in the cafe of our arms and appellations: we fhould not then be jumbled together in fo promifcuous and abfurd a manner. I defign to take this matter into further confideration; and no man fhall be received as an efquire, who cannot bring a certificate, that he has con quered fome lady's obdurate heart: that he can lead up a country-dance, or carry a meffage between her and her lover, with addrefs, fecrecy, and diligence A fquire is properly born for the fervice of the fex, and his credentials fhall be figned by three toafts and one prude, before his title shall be received in my office.

Will's Coffee-house, May 23.

On Saturday laft was prefented The Bufy Body, a comedy, written (as I have heretofore remarked) by a woman. The plot and incidents of the play are laid with that fubtilty of fpirit which is peculiar to females of wit, and is very feldom well performed by those of the other fex, in whom craft in love is an act of invention, and not, as with women, the effect of nature and inftinct.

To-morrow will be acted a play, called, The Trip to the Jubilee. This performance is the greatest instance that we can have of the irrefiftible force of proper action. The dialogue in itself has fomething too low to bear a criticifm upon it: but Mr. Wilks enters into the part with fo much skill, that the gallantry, the youth, and gaiety of a young man of a plentiful fortune, is looked upon with as much indulgence on the stage, as in real life, without any of thofe intermixtures of wit and humour, which ufually prepoffefs us in favour of fuch characters in other plays.'

St.