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"J. B. M, a well-known brewer in a small way, near this city," writes a Philadelphia friend, never studied book-keeping, and has always kept his accounts with his customers in chalk on the back of his shop door. A few days since, while out on business, his wife (careful body), in cleaning up, wiped them all out. He was in great trouble as to what he should do in the dilemma. Says she, 'Can't you remember the most of them? Try if you can't.' He commenced, and put down a number of names with the amounts to each. 'Do you think,' says she, you have charged them enough yet?' 'I don't know about the enough,' says he; but I have put down better men, by a long shot, than I had there before:""

A YOUNG lady writes: "Will you allow me to give you the correct version of a story which was spoiled one day by the process of insertion into your Drawer? I ought to know it, for, pars fui, I was a part of it; and, by the same token, I can't abear to see' the only pun I ever perpetrated come to grief. 'Peduncks,' indeed!

"What is the learned name for the foot-stalks of flowers, Cousin Mary?' asked a young gentleman. "Peduncles,' was the reply.

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HERE followeth a story for the Drawer, whereof the hero is a four-year-old Iowan.

"Little Owie" was saying his prayers one night during his father's absence, and his mother suggested, at the close, this additional petition: "God bless dear papa, and bring him safe home." "God bless dear papa," the youngster repeated, "and, mamma, why can't papa come home in the stage?" The requisite instructions were given, but were, probably, not fully understood, for, the next night, he added, of his own accord, "God bless dear papa, bring him safe home, and leave the stages behind!"

Two little girls had gone to sleep, as usual, in the same bed. Sarah had pushed and kicked in her sleep till Mary was almost driven out. She called, "Sarah, lie along, you've crowded me clear on to the edge of the bed." Sarah was half asleep, and fretted out, "Can't you stick and hang till morning?"

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"Oh yes! It's all very well to say Excuse me;' but when a man's covered with ice cream and jelly, and things

that won't brush off, and has a partner engaged for the German, it's confounded hard to grin, and say, 'It's no consequence.'"

Furnished by Mr. G. BRODIE, 300 Canal Street, New York, and drawn by VOIGT from actual articles of Costume.

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NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE.

No. CXLVI.-JULY, 1862.-VOL. XXV.

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NOT on the wings of the wind, or in a bal- manner of my tour. Of late years, such are

loon, as you may naturally suppose. The the facilities of travel throughout the civilized title has reference to the hurried and cursory world, that nothing short of a journey through

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1862, by Harper and Brothers, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York.

VOL. XXV.-No. 146.-K

the deserts of Africa, an expedition to the North were gathered in, and I met very few of them, Pole, or an attempt to reach the moon by a new at the close of evening, who were not reeling route, can be regarded as an achievement wor- drunk. Besides they chewed tobacco-an adthy of particular note, unless it be attended by ditional sign of civilization to which I had long circumstances of unusual personal interest. To been unaccustomed. be a lively and entertaining tourist is the high- At Gottenburg, in the absence of something est eminence to which a moderately ambitious better to do, I made up my mind to visit Norman can aspire. Even that is beyond the aim way. The steamer from Copenhagen touches of my present narrative. After twenty years' on her way to Christiania. She has an unpleas experience of travel by land and sea, I now frank- ant habit of waking people up in the middle of ly admit that the governing motive of my wan- the night; and I was told that if I wanted to make derings is to get out of one country and through sure of getting on board I must sit up and watch another with the least possible delay. The inci- for her. This is abominable in a mercantile dents and impressions gathered up in the course community; but what can be expected of a peoof such a harum-scarum career are, at best, no- ple whose noblest aspirations are wrapped up in thing more than the husks and burs that stick layers of dried cod-fish? By contract with the to the coat of a merry vagabond who lies down Kellner at my hotel the difficulty was finally arin a haystack by the road-side to pass the night, ranged. For the sum of two marks, Swedish and goes whistling on his way in the morning currency, he agreed to notify me of the approach for lack of thought. As such, these rough notes of the Copenhagen steamer. I thought he was of Norwegian adventure are offered to the reader. doing all this solely on my account, but afterLast year we had the pleasure of a ramble to- ward discovered that he had made contracts at gether among the silver mines of Washoe. I a quarter the price with about a dozen others. don't know how it may be with others, but, for my part, I got enough of that. An agency that deals exclusively in paper, and corresponds on long credits, is not a lucrative investment of time and labor. Failing to dispose of my Washoe stocks in Frankfort-on-the-Maine, I proceeded, in a very depressed state of mind, on a pedestrian tour through Germany, in the hope of being able to walk away from the disappointment. But here again was a new trouble. There is not a state in Germany large enough to hold a man of active disposition. It is utterly impossible for a Californian to "spread out" in such a complicated and thickly-settled country, where every way that he wishes to go is a "VERBOTENER WEG." A few weeks' experience of police regulations, forbidden ways, ceremonies, and restrictions filled my mind with horrible sensations of law and order. I felt like one who was going about on his parole, but liable at any moment to commit some crime against his will. My joints began to creak, and a thick rust was gathering all over me, when, in sheer desperation, I broke away, and made a dash down through France, Spain, and Portugal.

A whirl through Algeria restored the circulation of my blood; and during the present summer I refreshed myself by a glance at the steppes of Russia from the Kremlin of Moscow, and disposed of Esthonia and Finland in a couple of weeks. A dreary pilgrimage of eight days through Sweden brought me to Gottenburg, where, for the first time since my arrival in Europe, I really began to enjoy life. Not that Gottenburg is a very lively or fascinating place, for it abounds in abominations and smells of fish, and is inhabited by a race of men whose chief aim in life appears to be directed toward pickled herring, mackerel, and cod-fish. There was much in it, however, to remind me of that home-land on the Pacific for which my troubled heart was pining. A grand fair was going on. All the peasants from the surrounding country

It was very late in the night, or very early in the morning, when I was roused up, and duly put on board the steamer. Of the remainder of that night the least said the better. A cabinful of sea-sick passengers is not a pleasant subject of contemplation. When the light of day found its way into our dreary abode of misery I went on deck. The weather was thick, and nothing was to be seen in any direction but a rough, chopping sea and flakes of drifting fog. A few doleful-looking tourists were searching for the land through their opera-glasses. They appeared to be sorry they ever undertook such a stormy and perilous voyage, and evidently had misgivings that they might never again see their native country. Some of them peeped over the bulwarks from time to time, with a faint hope, perhaps, of seeing something new in that direction; but from the singular noises they made, and the convulsive motions of their bodies, I had reason to suspect they were heaving some very heavy sighs at their forlorn fate. The waiters were continually running about with cups of coffee, which served to fortify the stomachs of these hardy adventurers against sea-sickness. I may here mention as a curious fact, that in all my travels I have rarely met a sea-going gentleman who could be induced to acknowledge that he suffered the least inconvenience from the motion of the vessel. A headache, a fit of indigestion, the remains of a recent attack of gout, a long-standing rheumatism, a bilious colic to which he had been subject for years, a sudden and unaccountable shock of vertigo, a disorganized condition of the liver—something, in short, entirely foreign to the known and recognized laws of motion disturbed his equilibrium; but rarely an out-and-out case of sea-sickness. That is a weakness of human nature fortunately confined to the ladies. Indeed, I don't know what the gentler sex would do if it were not for the kindness of Providence in exempting the ruder portion of humanity from this unpleasant accom

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