him: at which time, we will bring the device What shall you ask of me that I'll deny. to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of mad- That, honour sav'd, may upon asking give? But see, but see. Vio. Nothing but this, your true love for my men. Enter Sir Andrew Ague-cheek. Fab. More matter for a May morning. master. Oli. How with mine honour may 1 give him Sir And. Ay, is it, I warrant him: do but read. Sir To. Give me. [Reads.] Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a scurvy fellow. Fab. Good, and valiant. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind, why I do call thee so, for I will show thee no reason for't. Fab. A good note: that keeps you from the blow of the law. Sir To. Thou comest to the lady Olivia, and in my sight she uses thee kindly: but thou liest in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good sense-less. Sir To. I will waylay thee going home; where if it be thy chance to kill me, Fab. Good. Sir To. Thou killest me like a rogue and villain. law: Good. a Fab. Still you keep o' the windy side of the Sir To. Fare thee well: And God have mercy upon one of our souls! He may have mercy upon mine; but my hope is better, and so look to thyself. Thy friend, as thou usest him, and thy sworn enemy.-Andrew Ague-cheek. Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot I'll give't him. Mar. You may have very fit occasion for't; he is now in some commerce with my lady, and will by and by depart. Vio. I will acquit you. Oli. Well, come again to-morrow: Fare thee A fiend, like thee, might bear my soul to hell. Re-enter Sir Toby Belch and Fabiau. Sir To. That defence thou hast, betake thee to't: of what nature the wrongs are thou hast don him, I know not; but thy intercepter, full of despight, bloody as the hunter, attends thee at the orchard end: dismount thy tuck, be yare in thy preparation, for thy assailant is quick, skilful, and deadly. Vio. You mistake, sir; I am sure no man hath any quarrel to me; my remembrance is very free and clear from any image of offence done to any man. Sir To. You'll find it otherwise, I assure you' therefore, if you hold your life at any price, be in him what youth, strength, skill, and wrath, take you to your guard; for your opposite hath can furnish man withal. Vio. I pray you, sir, what is he? Sir To. He is knight, dubbed with unhatched rapier, and on carpet consideration; but he is a devil in private brawl: souls and bodies hath he divorced three; and his incensement at this moment is so implacable, that satisfaction can be none but by pangs of death and sepulchre : hob, nob, is his word; give't, or take't. desire some conduct of the lady. I am no fighter. Vio. I will return again into the house, and have heard of some kind of men, that put quarrels purposely on others, to taste their valour: belike, this is a man of that quirk. out of a very competent injury; therefore, get Sir To. Sir, no; his indignation derives itself Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew: scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum-bailiff: so soon as ever thou seest him, draw; and, as thou drawest, swear horrible for it comes to pass oft, that a terrible oath, with a swaggering accent sharply twanged off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itself would have earned him. Away. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for swearing. you on, and give him his desire. Back you shall Erit. not to the house, unless you undertake that with Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter: for me, which with as much safety you might the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him answer him: therefore on, or strip your sword out to be of good capacity and breeding; his stark naked: for meddle you must, that's ceremployment between his lord and my niece tain, or forswear to wear iron about you. confirms no less; therefore this letter, being so excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth, he will find it comes from a clodpole. But, sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; 'set upon Ague-cheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman (as I know his youth will aptly receive it) into a most hideous opinion of his rage, skill, fury, and impetuosity. This will so fright them both, that they will kill one another by the look, like cockatrices. Enter Olivia and Viola. Fab. Here he comes with your niece: give them way, till he take leave, and presently after him. Sir To. I will meditate the while upon some horrid message for a challenge. [Exeunt Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. Vio. With the same 'haviour that your passion Go on my master's griefs. Oli. Here, wear this jewel for me, 'tis my picture! Refuse it not, it hath no tongue to vex you: And, I beseech you, come again to-morrow. Vio. This is as uncivil, as strange. I beseech you, do me this courteous office, as to know of the knight what my offence to him is; it is something of my negligence, nothing of my purpose. Sir To. I will do so. Signior Fabian, stay you by this gentleman till my return. [Exit Sir Toby. Vio. 'Pray you, sir, do you know of this matter? Fab. I know the knight is incensed against you, even to a mortal arbitrement; but nothing of the circumstance more. Vio. I beseech you what manner of man is he? Fab. Nothing of that wonderful promise, to read him by his form, as you are like to find him in the proof of his valour. He is indeed, sir, the most skilful, bloody, and fatal opposite that you could possibly have found in any part of Illyria: Will you walk towards him? I will make your peace with him, if I can. Vio. I shall be much bound to you for't: I am one, that would rather go with sir priest, than sir knight: I care not who knows so much of my metile. [Exeunt. Re-enter Sir Toby, with Sir Andrew. Sir To. Why man, he's a very devil; I have not seen such a firago. I had a pass with hint, rapier, scabbard, and all, and he gives me the stackin, with such a mortal motion, that it is inevitable; and on the answer, he pays you as surely as your feet hit the ground they step on: They say, he has been fencer to the Sophy. Sir And. Pox ou't, I'll not meddle with him. Sir To. Ay, but he will not now be pacified: Fabian can scarce hold him yonder. Sir And Plague on't; an 1 thought he had been valiant and so cunning in fence, I'd have seen him damned ere I'd have challenged him. Let him let the matter slip, and I'll give him my horse, gray Capilet. Sir To. I'll make the notion: stand here, make a good show on't; this shall end without the perdition of souls: Marry, I'll ride your horse as well as 1 ride you. [Aside. Re-enter Fabian and Viola. have his horse [to Fab.] to take up the quarrel: I have persuaded him, the youth's a devil. Fab. He is as horribly conceited of him; and pants, and looks pale, as if a bear were at his heels. Sir To. There's no remedy, sir: he will fight with you for his oath's sake: marry, he hath better bethought him of his quarrel, and he finds that now scarce to be worth talking of: therefore draw, for the supportance of his vow; he protests, he will not hurt you. Vio. Pray God defend me! A little thing would make me tell them how much I lack of a man. Aside. Fab. Give ground, if you see him furious. Sir To. Come, Sir Andrew, there's no remedy; the gentleman will, for his honour's sake, have one bout with you; he cannot by the duello avoid it but he has promised me, as he is a gentleman and a soldier, he will not hurt you. Come on; to't. Sir And. 'Pray God, he keep his oath! Enter Antonio. | Draws. Sir To. I'll be with you anon. [7'o Antonio. Vio. Pray, sir, put up your sword, if you please. [To Sir Andrew. Sir And. Marry, will I sir;-and, for that i promised you, I'll be as good as my word: He will bear you easily; and reins well. 1 Off. This is the man; do thy office. 20. Antonio, I arrest thee at the suit Of count Orsino. Ant. You do mistake me, sir. 1 Off. No, sir, no jot: I know your favour well. Though now you have no sea-cap on your head. Take him away; he knows, I know him well. Ant. I must obey.-This comes with seeking you; Bat there's no remedy; I shall answer it. 2 Of. Come, sir, away. Ant. I must entreat of you some of that money. Vio. What money, sir? For the fair kindness you have show'd me here, And, part, being prompted by your present trouble, Out of my lean and low ability, Will you deny me now 7 I Vio. Ant. O heavens themselves! 2 Of Come, sir, I pray you go. Ant. Let me speak a little. This youth that snatch'd one half out of the jaws of death; you see here, Reliev'd him with such sanctity of love, And to his image, which, methought did proMost venerable worth, did I devotion. mise, 1 Of. What's that to us? The time goes by; away. Ant. But, O, how vile an idol proves this Thou hast, Sebastian, done good feature shame. god!in nature there's no blemish, but the mind; None can be call'd deform'd, but the unkind: Virtue is beauty; but the beauteous-evil Are empty trunks, o'erflourished by the devil. 1 Of. The man grows mad; away with him. Come, come, sir. Ant. Lead me on. [Exeunt Officers with Ant. Vio. Methinks, his words do from such passion fly, That he believes himself; so do not I Vio. He named Sebastian; I my brother know Erit. Sir To. A very dishonest paltry boy, and more a coward than a hare his dishonesty appears, in leaving his friend here in necessity, and deny. ing him; and for his cowardship, ask Fabian. Fab. A coward, a most devout coward, religious in it. him. Sir And. 'Slid, I'll after him again, and beat Sir To. Do, cut him soundly, but never draw thy sword. Sir And. An I do not, [Exit. Sir To. I dare lay any money, 'twill be nothing [Exeunt, yet. ACT IV. SCENE 1. The Street before Olivia's House. Enter Sebastian and Clown. Clo. Will you make me believe that I am not sent for you? Seb. Go to, go to, thou art a foolish fellow; Let me be clear of thee. Clo. Vent my folly! He has heard that word of some great man, and now applies it to a fool. Vent my folly! I am afraid this great lubber, the world, will prove a cockney.-I pr'ythee now, ungird thy strangeness, and tell me what I shall vent to my lady; Shall I vent to her, that thou art coming? Seb. Ipr'ythee, foolish Greek, depart from me: There's money for thee; if you tarry longer, 1 shall give worse payment. Enter Sir Toby Belch and Maria. Clo. By my troth, thou hast an open hand:- Sir To. Jove bless thee, master parson. These wise men that give fools money, get them- Clo. Bonos dies, Sir Toby: for as the old herselves a good report after fourteen years' pur-mit of Prague, that never saw pen and ink, very wittily said to a niece of king Gorboduc, That, that is, is: so I, being master parson, am master parson: For what is that, but that? and is, but is? Sir To. To him, Sir Topas. chase. Enter Sir Andrew, Sir Toby, and Fabian. Sir And. Now, sir, have I met you again? there's for you. [Striking Sebastian. Seb. Why, there's for thee, and there, and there: Are all the people mad? [Beating Sir Andrew. Sir To. Hold, sir, or I'll throw your dagger o'er the house. Clo. What, hoa, I say ;-Peace in this prison ! Sir To. The knave counterfeits well; a good knave. Mal. [in an inner chamber.] Who calls there? Clo. Sir Topas the curate who comes to visit Malvolio the lunatic. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady. Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson. Clo. This will I tell my lady straight; I would not be in some of your coats for two-pence. [Exit Clown. Sir To. Come on, sir; hold. [Holding Sebastian. Sir And. Nay, let him alone; I'll go another Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged; way to work with him; I'll have an action of good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they battery against him, if there be any law in Illy-have laid me here in hideous darkness. ria: though I struck him first, yet it's no matter for that. Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark? Mal. As hell, Sir Topas. Clo. Why, it hath bay windows transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stories towards the south-north are as lustrious as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction? Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas: I say to you, this house is dark. Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, Oli. Hold, Toby; on thy life, 1 charge thee, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and hold. Sir To. Madam! Oli. Will it be ever thus? Ungracious wretch, Fit for the mountains and the barbarous caves, Where manners ne'er were preach'd! out of my sight! Be not offended, dear Cesario:- Or I am mad, or else this is a dream:- O, say so, and so be! [Exeunt, say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question. Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras concerning wild fowl? Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird. Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion? Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion. Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits: and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas,Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas! Clo. Nay, I am for all waters. Mar. Thou might'st have done this withou thy beard and gown; he sees thee not. Sir. To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thow findest him; I would, we were woll rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for 1 am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber. [Exeunt Sir Toby and Maria. Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, [Singing. She could not sway her house, conmmand her followers, Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha? Mal Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thankful to thee fort. Clo. Master Malvolio! Clo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. Clo. But as well? then you are mad, indeed, if you be no better in your wits than a fool. Mal. They have here propertied me: keep me in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all they can to face me out of my wits. Clo. Advise you what you say: the minister is here,-Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and | leave thy vain bibble babble. Mal. Sir Topas, Take, and give back affairs, and their dispatch, Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: if you mean Now go with me, and with this holy man, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow. Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? Clo. Well-a-day,-that you were, sir! Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing of letter did. Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad, indeed? or do you but counterfeit ? Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. Mal Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: 1 am gone, sir, Like to the old vice, Like a mad lad, Pare thy nails, dad, Adieu, goodman drivel. SCENE III. Olivia's Garden. [Exit. Seb. This is the air: that is the glorious sun; ACT V. The Street before Olivia's House. Enter Clown and Fabian. Fab. Now, as thou lovest me, let me see his letter. Clo. Good master Fabian, grant me another request. Fab. Any thing. Clo. Do not desire to see this letter. Enter Duke, Viola, and Attendants. Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the worse for my friends. Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy friends. Clo. No, sir, the worse. Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes. Duke. Why, this is excellent. Clo. By my troth, sir, no; though it please you to be one of my friends. Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me; there's gold. Clo. But that it would be double dealing, sir, Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double dealer; there's another. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all; the triplex, sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at this throw if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me with you, it may awake my bounty further. To any other trust, but that I am mad, Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty, till 1 Duke. come again. I go, sir; but I would not have As howling after musick. [Exit Clown. Enter Antonio and Officers. Vio. Here comes the man, sir, that did rescue me. Duke. That face of his I do remember well; Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war: A bawling vessel was he captain of, For shallow draught, and bulk unprizable: With which such scathful grapple did he make With the most noble bottom of our fleet, That very envy, and the tongue of loss," Still so cruel ? Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What to perverseness lady, you uncivil To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do ? Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death, That sometimes savours nobly 7-But hear me Cry'd fame and honour on him.-What's the Since you to non-regardance cast my faith, matter? 1 Of. Orsino, this is that Antonio That took the Phoenix and her fraught, from And this is he that did the Tiger board, Duke. Notable pirate thou salt-water thief! What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear, Hast made thine enemies? Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate, Which I had recommended to his use Vio. (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) Enter Olivia and Attendants. Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven walks on earth. But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are madness: Three months this youth hath tended upon me; Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable 7- Duke. Gracious Olivia, Oli. What do you say, Cesario ?Good my lord, Vio. My lord would speak, my duty bushes me. Oli. If it be ought to the old tune, my lord, It is as fat and falsome to mine es And that I partly know the instrument Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still: I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, After him I love, Oli. Where goes Cesario? Vio. More than I love these eyes, more than my life, More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife: If I do feign, you witnesses above, Punish my life, for tainting of my love! Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd! Vio. Who does beguile you ? who does do you wrong? Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself 7 Is it so long 7Call forth the holy father. [Exit an attendant. Duke. Come away. [To Viola. Oli. Whither, my lord ?-Cesario, husband, stay. Duke. Husband? Oli. Ay, husband; Can he that deny ? Duke. Her husband, sirrah? Vio. No, my lord, not I. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety: Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up: Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art As great as that thou fear'st.-0, welcome, father! Re-enter Attendant and Priest. Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence, Here to unfold (though lately we intended To keep in darkness, what occasion now Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know, Hath newly past between this youth and me. Priest. A contract of eternal bond of love, Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands, Attested by the holy close of lips, Strengthened by interchangement of your rings; And all the ceremony of this compact Seal'd in my function, by my testimony: Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my grave I have travell'd but two hours. Duke. O, thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be, When time hath sew'd a grizzle on thy case? Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow, That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow? Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet, Where thou and I henceforth may never meet. Vio. My lord, I do protest, Oli. O, do not swear; |