pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor. yet 'tis a woman: but what woman, I will not Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will tell myself and yet 'tis a milk-maid: yet 'tis not, I will; for good things should be praised. not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a Speed. Item, She is too liberal. maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for Laun. Of her tongue, she cannot; for that's wages. She hath amore qualities than a water-writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall spaniel,-which is much in a bare Christian. Here not; for that I'll keep shut; now of another thing is the cate-log Pulling out a paper] of her con- she may; and that cannot 1 help. Well, proceed. dition. Imprimis, She can fetch and carry. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and Why, a horse can do no more; nay, a horse can- more faults than hairs, and more wealth than not fetch, but only carry; therefore is she better faults. than a jade. Item, She can milk; look you, a sweet virtue in a maid with clean hands. Enter Speed. Speed. How now, signior Launce? what news with your mastership? Laun. With my master's ship? why it is at sea. Speed. Well, your old vice still, mistake the word: What news then in your paper 7. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her; she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more.. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit.Laun. More hair than wit,-it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next?, Speed. And more faults than hairs. Laun. The blackest news that ever thou Laun. That's monstrous: 0, that that were heard'st. Speed. Why, man, how black ? Laun. Why, as black as ink. out! Speed. And more wealth than faults. Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gra cious: Well, I'll have her; and if it be a match, Laun. Fie on thee, jolt-head; thou canst not as not.ing is impossible, read. T Speed. Thou liest, I can. Laun, I will try thee: Tell me this: Who begot thee? Speed. Marry, the son of my grandfather. Laun. O illiterate loiterer! it was the son of thy grandmother: this proves that thou canst not read. Speed. Come, fool, come: try me in thy paper, Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. And therefore comes the proverb,- Laun. That's as much as to say, can she so? Laun. What need a man care for a stock with Speed What the. Laun. Why, then will I tell thee, that thy mas ter stays for thee at the north-gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee! ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn, Speed. Why didst not tell me sooner 7 pox of your love-letters! Exit. Laun. Now will he be swinged for reading my letter: An unmannerly slave, that will thrust himself into secrets! I'll after, to rejoice in the boy's correction. [Exit. SCENE II., The same. A Room in the Duke's Palace. Enter Duke and Thurio; Proteus behind. Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will love you, Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not Now Valentine is banished from her sight. be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin., Laun. Then may 1 set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say,bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun, Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue pray thee, out with't; and place it for ner chief virtue, Speed. Item, She is proud. Thu. Since his exile she hath despised me most, Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter. Duke. And also, I think, thou art not ignorant Laun. Out with that too, it was Eve's legacy, Pro. She did, my lord, when Valentine was and cannot be ta'en from her, Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. here. Duke. Ay, and perversely she perseveres so. Laun. I care not for that neither, because I What might we do, to make the girl forget love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst. The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio? Laun. Well, the best is, she hath no teeth to With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent; Three things that women highly hold in hate. bite Duke. Ay, but she'll think that it is spoke in 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down hate. Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do: Duke. Where your good word cannot advantage him, Your slander never can endamage him; Being entreated to it by your friend. Pro. You have prevailed, my lord; if I can do it, By aught that 1 can speak in his dispraise, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none, Because we know, on Valentine's report, And cannot soon revolt and change your mind. poesy. Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart: Write till your ink be dry; and with your tears Moist it again; and frame some feeling line, That may discover such integrity: For Orpheus' lute was strung with poet's sinews; ance. This, or else nothing, will inherit her. Duke. This discipline sh ws, thou hast been in love. Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in prac. tice. Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in musick: Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper: And afterward determine our proceedings. Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you. [Exeunt. ACT IV. SCENE I. A Forest, near Mantua. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast: I see a passenger. with 'em. Enter Valentine and Speed. 3 Out. Stand, sir, and throw us that you have about you; If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you. 1 Out. That's not so, sir; we are your enemies. 2 Out. Peace; we'll hear him. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; for he is a proper man. Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to lose; A man I am, cross'd with adversity: Of which if you should here disfurnish me, You take the sum and substance that I have. 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourned there? If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. I 2 Out. For what offence? Val. For that which now torments me to re hearse: kill'd a man, whose death 1 much repent; But yet I slew him manfully in fight, Without false vantage, or base treachery. 1 Out. Why, ne'er repent it, if it were done so, But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. I was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues? Val. My youthful travel therein made me happy; Or else I often had been miserable. 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fai friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction. It is an honourable kind of thievery. 2 Out. Tell us this: Have you any thing to take to? Val. Nothing but my fortune. 3 Out. Know, then, that some of us are gentlemen, Such as the fury of ungovern'd youth 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'd man, Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you: Are you content to be our general ? To make a virtue of necessity, And live, as we do, in this wilderness? 3 Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our consort? Say ay, and be the captain of us all; We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee, Love thee as our commander and our king. 1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy,thou diest. 2 Out. Thou shalt not live to brag what we have offer'd. Fal. I take your offer, and will live with you; Host. How? out of tune on the strings? 3 Out. No, we detest such vile, base practices. SCENE II. Milan. Court of the Palace. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, She twits me with my falsehood to my friend; And give some evening musick to her ear. Enter Thurio, and Musicians. Thu. How now, Sir Proteus? are you crept before us? Pro. Ay,gentle Thurio; for, you know that love Thu Ay, but, I hope, sir, that you love not here. Pro. Ay, Silvia, for your sake. Jul. Not so; but yet so false that he grieves my very heart-strings. Host. You have a quick ear. Jul. Ay, I would, I were deaf! it makes me have a slow heart. Host. I perceive, you delight not in musick. Host. Hark, what fine change is in the musick! Host. You would have them always play but one thing? Jul. I would always have one play but one thing. But, host, doth this Sir Proteus, that we talk on, often resort unto this gentlewoman? Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, tol me, he loved her out of all nick. Jul. Where is Launce? Host. Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow by his master's command, he must carry for present to his lady. Jul. Peace! stand aside! the company parts. Pro. Sir Thurio, fear not you! I will so plead, That you shall say, my cunning drift excels. Thu. Where meet we? ཏསཝཱ། Pro. At Saint Gregory's well. Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's You'd quickly learn to know him by his voice. N Pro. Sir Proteus, gentle lady, and your servant. Pro. That I may compass yours. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gentle- Sil. You have your wish; my will is even this, men, Let's tune, and to it lustily a while. clothes. Host. Now, my young guest! methinks, you're allycholly; I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you shall hear musick, and see the gentleman that you ask'd for. Jul. But shall 1 hear him speak? Host. Hark! hark! Jul. Is he among these? That presently you hie you home to bed, I That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? Jul. 'Twere false, if I should speak it; Host. Ay: but peace, let's hear 'em. Song. Who is Silvia? What is she, That all our swains commend her? Holy, fair, and wise, is she; The heavens such grace did lend her, That she might admired be. Is she kind as she is fair? For beauty lives with kindness: Love doth to her eyes repair, To help him of his blindness: And, being help'd, inhabits there. Then to Silvia let us sing, That Silvia is excelling; She excels each mortal thing, To her let us garlands bring. Host. How now ? are you sadder than you were How do you, man? the musick likes you not. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. thence; Pro. [Exeunt Proteus: and Silvia from above. Jul. Host, will you go? Host. By my hallidom, I was fast asleep. Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest night SCENE III. The same. Egl. This is the hour that Madam Silvia Silvia appears above, at her window. to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thing, when a car cannot keep himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't: sure as 1 live, he had suffer'd for't; you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentleman-like dogs, under the duke's table; he had not been there (bless the mark) a pissing while; but all the chamber smelt him. Out with the dog, says one; What cur is that? says another; Whip him out, says the third; Hang him up, says the duke. 1, having been acquainted with the smell before, in.-knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay, marry, do I, quoth he. You do him the more wrong, quoth 1; 'twas! did the thing you wot of. He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servants? Nay, I'll be sworn, I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't; thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, I remember the trick you served me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia: did not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's farthingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick? Egl. Your servant, and your friend; row. Egl. As many, worthy lady, to yourself. Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, I do desire thee, even from a heart Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances; As much I wish all good befortune you. Sil. This evening coming. Egl. Where shall I meet you? Sil. At friar Patrick's cell, Enter Proteus and Julia. Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, And will employ thee in some service presently Jul. In what you please -1 will do what! can. Pro. I hope thou wilt.-How now, you whoreson peasant! [To Launce. Where have you been these two days loitering? Laun. Marry sir, I carried mistress Silvia the dog you bade me. Pro. And what says she to my little jewel ? Laun. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; and tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present. Pro. But she received my dog? Laun. No, indeed, did she not: here have I brought him back again. Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman's boys in the marketplace: and then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog again, Away, I say; Stay'st thou to vex me here? She loved me well deliver'd it to me. Pro. Not so; I think, she lives... Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas? -well As you do love your lady Silvia : Jul. Because, methinks, that she lov'd you as But since she did neglect her looking-glass, 、 She dreams on him that has forgot her love; Alas, poor Proteus, thou hast entertained Jul. About my stature: for, at Pentecost, This ring I gave him, when he parted from me, To plead for that, which I would not obtain; Enter Silvia, attended. Jul. From my master, Sir Proteus, madam. Sil. Ursula, bring my pieture there. [Picture brought. Sit. I pray thee let me look on that again. I will not look upon your master's lines: Jul. Madam, he sends your ladyship this ring. Jul. I thank you, madam, that you tender her: I weep myself, to think upon thy words. Farewell. [Exit Silvia. Jul. And she shall thank you for❜t, if e'er you know her. A virtuone gentlewoman, mild, and beautiful. Tul. Almost as well as 1 do know myself: sook her. Jul. I think, she doth, and that's her cause of sorrow. Sil. Is she not passing fair? Jul. She hath been fairer, madam, than she is: When she did think, my master lov'd her well, She, in my judgment, was as fair as you; And, were there sense in this idolatry, ACT V. And now it is about the very hour That Silvia, at friar Patrick's cell should meet nie See, where she comes: Lady, a happy evening! Enter Thurio, Proteus, and Julia. |