THE TRUE GENTLEMAN Conversation By FRANÇOIS DE LA ROCHEFOUCAULD [François de la Rochefoucauld, wit and nobleman of the reign of Louis XIV., was born at Paris, September 15, 1613. He attended school but little, joined the army before he was sixteen, and began at once to make a figure in public life. He became involved in the civil wars of the Fronde, and in the battle of Faubourg Saint Antoine (1652) received a shot in the head from which it was feared he would lose the sight of both eyes. He spent some years in retirement, but, after the death of Mazarin, his house at Paris became the meeting-place of the best company, including Boileau, Racine, and Mesdames de Sévigné and La Fayette. The former of these ladies speaks of him as holding the first rank in "courage, merit, tenderness, and good sense." He would not accept an election to the French Academy, so Huet affirms, because he was too nervous to make a public speech. He wrote his own memoirs under the title "Mémoirs de la Règne d'Anne d'Autriche," but his most important work is “Reflexions et Maximes." It contains a vast amount of knowledge of human nature expressed in the form of aphorisms, though it has been somewhat criticised for the cynical principle upon which it is based-that all the actions of men, good or bad, are attributable to self-interest. He died at Paris, March 17, 1680.] THE HE reason why so few people are agreeable in conversation is, that every one thinks more of what he wishes to say than of what others say. We should listen to those who speak, if we would be listened to by them; we should allow them to make themselves understood, and even to say pointless things. Instead of contradicting or interrupting them, as we often do, we ought on the contrary to enter into their mind and into their taste, show that we understand them, praise what they say so far as it deserves to be praised, and make them see that it is rather from choice that we praise them than from courtesy. We should avoid disputing about indifferent things, seldom ask questions (which are almost always useless), never let them think that we pretend to more sense than others, and easily cede the advantage of deciding a question. We ought to talk of things naturally, easily, and more or less seriously, according to the temper and inclination of the persons we entertain; never press them to approve what we say, nor even to reply to it. When we have thus complied with the duties of politeness, we may express our opinions, without prejudice or obstinacy, in making it appear that we seek to support them with the opinions of those who are listening We should avoid talking much of ourselves, and often giving ourselves as example. We cannot take too much pains to understand the bent and the compass of those we are talking with, in order to link ourselves to the mind of him whose mind is the most highly endowed; and to add his thoughts to our own, while making him think as much as is possible that it is from him we take them. There is cleverness in not exhausting the subjects we treat, and in always leaving to others something to think of and say. We ought never to talk with an air of authority, nor make use of words and expressions grander than the things. We may keep our opinions, if they are reasonable; but in keeping them, we should never wound the feelings of others, or appear to be shocked at what they have said. It is dangerous to wish to be always master of the conversation, and to talk of the same thing too often; we ought to enter indifferently on all agreeable subjects which offer, and never let it be seen that we wish to draw the conversation to a subject we wish to talk of. It is necessary to observe that every kind of conversation, however polite or however intelligent it may be, is not equally proper for all kinds of well-bred persons; we should choose what is suited to each, and choose even the time for saying it: but if there be much art in knowing how to talk to the purpose, there is not less in knowing how to be silent. There is an eloquent silence—it serves sometimes to approve or to condemn; there is a mocking silence; there is a respectful silence. There are, in short, airs, tones, and manners in conversation which often make up what is agreeable or disagreeable, delicate or shocking. The secret for making good use of them is given to few persons, those even who make rules for them mistake them sometimes; the surest, in my opinion, is to have none that we cannot change, to let our conversation be careless rather than affected, to listen, to speak seldom, and never to force ourselves to talk. THE TRUE GENTLEMAN Punctuality By HENRY HARDWICKE OME men of business boast that they are always a few minutes ahead of time. While it is better to be too early than too late, still those who have an engagement and are at the appointed place five or ten minutes earlier than they engaged to be, are as unpunctual, and lose as much time, as those who are five or ten minutes late. The meaning of the word punctual proves this with great clearness. It means, or pertains to, an exact point, extreme accuracy. La Fontaine says that it is no use running; to set out in time is the main point. In a man of business punctuality is unquestionably one of the most indispensable qualities. Few people have lived in the world who fully appreciated the value of an hour. The unpunctual man has no conception of the use of time. A just appreciation of the value of time is apt to inspire habits of punctuality. Louis XIV. said: “Punctuality is the politeness of kings. It is also the necessity of men of business, and the duty of gentlemen." Nothing shakes confidence in a man sooner than the want of punctuality, and nothing begets. confidence sooner than the practice of this virtue. Punctuality is one of the modes by which we testify our respect for those with whom we are called upon to transact business. It is natural that we should come to the conclusion that the person who is careless about time will be careless about business, and that he is not the one to be intrusted with the transaction of matters of importance. On one occasion, Washington's secretary was five minutes late in his attendance, and excused himself by laying the blame on his watch, whereupon Washington is reported to have said, "Then you must get another watch, or I another secretary." The unpunctual man causes numberless annoyances, and is a general disturber of the peace and serenity of other people. Everybody with whom he has business engagements are thrown into a fever of impatience, and their other engagements are often broken. He is always late-systematically so-and he is only regular in his irregularity. In the course of time his unpunctuality results in his ruin, and then he joins that large number of persons who spend their time in railing at the blindness of fortune, or the unequal distribution of wealth. Mr. Legg, an eminently successful English publisher, once said of himself, that he "had lodged with beggars, and had the honor of presentation to royalty," and that his success in life was due to three things-punctuality as to time, self-reliance, and integrity in word and deed. On a certain occasion it was necessary that ten men should meet at a certain time, for consultation on important business. Nine of the number were punctual to the minute. The tenth came fifteen minutes after the time, and apologized for his want of promptness, when a Quaker who was one of the number said: "Friend thee can do as thee please with thine own time, but thou hast no right to waste the time of others. In losing fifteen minutes of thy time, for which thou art accountable to God, thou hast caused the same loss of time of nine men, to which thou hadst no possible claim." All successful men have been noted for their keen sense of the value of time. It is said that Napoleon studied his watch as closely as he studied the maps of the battle-field. Punctuality should, therefore, be made a matter of duty as well as of courtesy. The celebrated Captain Cuttle had a watch of which he said that, "if he could only remember to set it ahead half an hour in the forenoon, and back a quarter of an hour in the afternoon, it would keep time with anybody's watch." Many |