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I'll kill him. He's my own son, and I have al Frank. Why did not you tell I so? right to do it. Your name, your name! pretty
[Exit and returns with Pens and Ink. soul!
| Young R. Oh, this infernal pain!-A candle Jessy. Jessy. Oatland. The indiscretion of to seal a letter. [Exit Frank, and returns my father has made me a servant
with a Candie) Zounds, it is not lighted! Old R. And the discretion of his father has Frank. "You didn't tell I to light it. made him a gentleman. But I'll make the Young R. Was ever man plagu'd with such rascal know you are not humbled by your a hollow-headed ninny-hammer. father's conduct, nor is he exalted by bis, a Frank. [Aside Maybe, that be better than villain! Can be hope to be call'd a man of a hollow-bearted one!' honour for opposing bis head to a pistol, while himself levels the shaft of anguish at an in
Enter Servant. nocent woman's heart? But I'll kill him, that's Young R. [Jumps up] Well! one comfort. Come with me, sweet one! | Serv. My master has sent you those parch
Jessy. Sir, I must allend my mistress. I am ments to peruse servant to his bride.
Weeps. Young R [Throwing them down] I wouldn't Old R. I shall go mad! Don't cry. If he, by read them for his estate. marriage, won't make you my daughter, 1, Sero. He will wait on you, sir directly. by adoption, will. Good bye, sweet Jessy! Young R. Begone all of you!-Stop! 'TT. Oh, the rascal!--Cheer up!- The scoundrel!- Frank] Give me my coat! Frank helps him Pretty creature! - The dog! - What a shape ! on with one Arm-Bring the glass!-(Frank -I'll kill him.
Exeunt severally.leaves him so, and brings down a Dress
ling-glass]-Leave me, dunder-head! Астү.
[Exil Frank. Scene I.
Vortex. Bravo, my fine fellow! You fought YOUNG RAPID discovered, and Hair DRESSER. nobly;-I say, who fir'd first.
Young R. Dispatch! Why don't you dis- Young R. Never mind, that's past! patch?
I Vorter. Weil, now I must intrust you with Hair Dress. Done in a moment, sir,-pray a little secret.
They sit. keep your head still.
Young R. I have no objection to a litle secret. Young R. (Jumping up] Oh, Jessy Oal-'. Porter. In the first place, then, I'll read land!-S'death, have not you done?
this paper. Hair Dress. Sit down, sir, donc in a mo-l Young R. No; I'll read it-I shall read it ment.
much quicker. [Reads] -“Receiv'd of Mr. VorYoung R. Well, well; I'm as patient as-tex, ibe sum of five thousand pounds, in conSits. Enter Frank at the Door, Rapid sideration of which I assign over all my right jumps up, and runs to him] Well!-Speak and title to-bum, hum, lium-Signed, 'ELLEN -quick!
Vortex."-I understand Frank. Sur-1-that is-she-no, I-went-| Vorlex. Now you must know the father of
Young R. You tedious blockhead - is shemy niecegone! Is Jessy gone?
| Young R. Jessy Oatland [In reverie. Frank. Ees, sur.
| Vorter. No, her name is Ellen. Young R. What! left her father's? Where Young R. I know it, I know it, I know it. is she?
[Fretfully. Frank. I don't know—that is, I won't tell. Vorter. Her father died in India.
[Aside. Young R. With all my heart. Young R. What must she think me? what Vorter. With all your heart! I am-a rascal.
Young R. Zounds! keep moving, will you? Hair Dress. Sit down, sir; - done in al Vortex. Yes, if you'll keep still." moment.
Young R. Then be quick. Young R. Yes, yes; I ain as calm- [Sits. Vorter. Why I am quick, an't l?— Died
lin India, and left her lo iny care. All was in Enter Servant.
Young R. Confusion. Wbat do you want? [Jumps up again. I'orter. You are right, all was in confu
Serv. Sir, my master and Miss Vortex wait sion. So I prevail'd onfor you.
[Erit. Young i. Jessy Oatland! Young R. Aye, to fulfil that infernal* mar-1 Vorler. No, no, Ellen-10 sign that paper; riage-promise. Ob, Jessy! [To Frunk] What since which, indeed, her affairs bave turn'd are you at?
Jout prelly lucky. I purchas'd this estate with Frank. Sur, I were only twiddling about her fortune, which will be your's, ony boy ! my thumbs.
It was a very snug bargain. Young R. You are always twiddling about Young R.'What a horrible thing is the gift your thumbs. What shall I do? Go to them. of speech. -No, I'll write,- I want to write.
Vorle.r. Speech! - Did you say any thing Frank. Ob, you do?
about a speech ? Ah! had you heard mine out. Young R. I tell you I want to write. -Do you remember how it began? - "Had I Frank. I'm sure I don't hinder you. '' met your eye at an earlier hour, I should "Young R. S'death! then don't stand there. 1. During Vorler's Narration, Rapid, inFrank. It be all the same to I where I stands. fluenced by the most fretful Impatience,
[Moving to another place. has unconsciously bil, and torn to Young R. Thickhead, bring pen and ink. | pieces, the Paper given him by Vortex.
back the paper:
Joung R. [Yumping up] 'Sdeath and fire! Young R, Madam! Is this a time for speeches! is not your daughter Miss V. [To Jessy] Leave the room! waiting ?-Is not?-Oh, Jessy!
Jessy. [Apart] Now poor beart! having Vorter. True, another opportunity! But, pass'd thy pride's probation, retire to a corner
, ob! 'tis a pretty speech.-Well, now give me and break with weeping.
Miss V. Sir, wbat am I to understand? Young R. The paper!
Young R. That I'm crazy: Vorlex. Yes, now you have thoroughly di- Miss V. Have I desery'd'insult? gested the contents of the paper, give it me again. Young R. Upon my soul, I don't mean to Young R. Oh! the-the-the paper! insult you—I ask your pardon-upon my knees
. [Sees it torn on the ground.
. Vortex. Yes; that precious scrap, that seus a hundred' thousand pounds, you
Enter FRANK. dog!-Come, give it me.
Frank. You, sur! Young R. My dear fellow! you gave me no Young R. [Jumping up] What's the matter? paper.
Miss V. Well, I'll forgive you, if you'll Vortex. But I did, though.
come directly [Rapid nods, and she erù. Young R. Yes, you cerlainly did; but then Young R. Whai do you want? --you-you-did not
Frank. You be's a desperate villain! (Rapid Vortex. But I'll take my oath I did !--Come, going to strike] Come, dan't you do thaigive it me directly!-You-[Sees the frag- it wont do-Poor sister! If you had drawa ments on the ground] Eh!- what!-No ;- an harrow across her heart, you could not Yes.—I'm undone, I'm ruined.—Oh, my head! have hurt her so. I'm going, I'm going !
Young R. Damn't know. nothing of your Young R. Upon my soul l'm very sorry, sister! Who the devil is your sister? youbut
Frank. Why, Jessy Oatland! Vortex. But what?
Young R. What! your sister - the brother Young R. That infernal specch!
of Jessy my servant?- Damnation! why did na Vorter. Oh! (Looking at the scraps of you tell me so? To raise my hand against the paper]-Eh, but bold!- When he marries my brother of Jessy!- I shall go mad! - Frask daughter he'll keep the secret for his own sake. will you forgive me? I love Jessy — by m Ch, dear! I must lose no time.
soul I do!-And may heaven desert me, ifYoung R. I'm very sorry! I'm sure if hear.
[Kneeld ing your speech will be any compensation
[Sils down. Vorlex. No, no, not now-come with me, Vortex. Hey-day! all the lawyers are waiting: -Oh, pray come. Young R. [Jumping up] What's the malle
Young R. I'm coming, but you're always Vorler. [To Frank | Leave the room in such a hurry.
[Exit Frank] Insult upon insult!–Whats Vorter. I'll send my daughter to him—1 tisfactionmust push him. Pray come directly.
Young R. I know what you want. Com [Exit, in a hurry. along; I'll fight you directly. Young R. Upon my soul you'll break your Vortex. Fight! Nonsense! neck, if you hurry so. Am I always to have Young R. Then I'll ask your pardon. this infernal pain? [Goes up to the glass] Vorler. But what the devil's the meanin Behold a highfinished rascal at full length.- of all this? Curse me, if I can look myself in the face. Young R. Why, don't you see I'm mad
-Slark staring mad!
Enter YOUNG STANLET.
Young R. [Jumping round] What do ya Young R. Don't plague me about your
mis- Vorter. Oh, Lord! how fierce Stanley look tress. I'll come by and by:- [Turns round] at me. Pray come, Mr. Rapid.-[To Stanle Heaven and hell! Jessy Oatland!
Sir, your most obedient! [Exit
, running Jessy. My mistress, sir, waits for you. Young R. That little fellow will break Young
Your mistress !-A servant! Jessy neck, to a certainty. Oatland a servant!-A servant to — And Stan. I have just seen
a lovely girl Jessy! my life!--my soul!-will you forgive-? you have wrong'd. Jessy. Wretch!
Young R. I know I have, and I'll fighty Young R. I am. I despise myself.—On my again, if you like it. knees-only listen to me.
Stan. Could the result benefit Jessy Oal
land, I would accept your invitation, Enter Miss VORTEX.
Young R. The fact is, I'm the most us Miss V. Mr. Rapid !
happy-the-What do you charge for sboa Young R. [Juinping up] What is the ing a man? I'll give you a thousand to blow matter?
my brains out. I'm the most miserable deg Miss V. How can you debase yourself—to--Pray, sir, will you tell me one thing!-- Ar
Jessy. How dare he debase me, madam, by you a man of fashion? offering to an honest heart the affections of a Stan. I trust I'm a gentleman. villain?
Young R. That's pretty much the same ibim Miss V. Sir!
-an't it, sir?
Stan. It ought to be.
Miss V. I vow I feel uncommon discomYoung R. Pray, sir, how did you become posed — Oatland ? your arm, child! a gentleman?
(Leans on Jessy. Stan. Simply, by never committing an tion that would not bear reflection.
Enier Young RAPID. Young R. Can I be a gentleman, and an Young R. Heavens, bow interesting! the bonest man?
languor of those lovely eyesStan. Can you be a gentleman, and not an Miss V. Flaitering creature ! honest man?
Young R. My senses are restor'd. Oh, will Young R. Pray, sir, have you always an you pardon-will you again receive a heart infernal pain at your heart?
full of love and adoration? Stan. No, sir.
Miss V. What shall I do?-I must pardon Young R. No! Huzza! Thank you !-By hea- him. [Miss Vortex is preparing to speak. ved I'll Now don't hurry yourself.- If I don't, Jessy. Edward! what shall I say? --- your may I
[Walks about love bas been too long, my joy, my pride,-Štan. Ah! Mr. Rapid, how different are to be torn from my heart without many a our situations! You, possessing the love of a bitter wound ;-[Miss Vortex with surprise most charming and fascinating girl, dash the and chagrin withdraws her arm from Jescup of happiness away.
sy;]-but your late conduct has beenYoung R. May be not, my dear fellow- Young K. Detestable!- But I'm pardon'd; push on.
your eyes tell me Thanks, my angel! Stan. I, possessing the heart of my dear (Running to her and kneeling) I'm so opEllen, am miserable; because, on account of press'd with joy.-Ma'am will you have the the narrowness of her fortune, she compels goodness to help me up? me to abandon her.
Miss V. Help you up!-Young R. What! the narrowness of her Frank. He! be! he! Gi' me a buss, Jessy! fortune compels
he! he! thee be's a domn'd honest fellow! Stan. Yes, I say
[Shaking Rapid's hand] I'll run and tell Young R. No! Don't say it again. Don't poor Feyther,–Now I shall have a farm of despair, that's all.
[Nodding. my own! [Capering and snapping his finStan. She has given a fatal paper. gers]-Dong it, how I will work. — He!he! Young R. A paper!-Yes, I know, I know.hc!
[Exit Stan. And I'm come to take leave of her. Miss V. To be used so twice in one day!
Young R. No, you are not !-I'll shew you - it is not to be borne, - Nabob, won't you such a scene.--Nay, don't ask me any ques- fight him? tions-follow me, that's all.--Wait at the door; Vortex. No, not I. and when I cry, hem! come in. But don't Miss V. Coward! be in such a hurry. By heavens, the pain in Vorte.r. You'd better be quiet, or I'll conmy side is better already! Huzza! —Come along! vince yon I'm none, however. [Going, returns, and runs to the glass, Miss V. He! he! I declare it is so uncomand nods] How do you do? – How do you monly ridiculous!-so. comic!-He! he !—I'm do? What! you rascall you can grin again, quite faint with laughing. can
in you? Come along; but don't hurry; be- Jessy. Shall I assist you? cause, my dear fellow, 'tis impossible to do Miss V. No! [Resenifully] I must retire, any thing well in a hurry. Come along! but, or I shall expire with laughing!-be! he! zounds! never hurry.
Exit, crying [E.ceunt, Young Rapid speaking very quick.
Young R. Allow me to introduce Mrs. Ra-
Ellen. Sweet Jessy !-Sir, I thank you for Frank. How bee'st thee now, Jessy ? giving my beart a pleasurable sensation, which
Jessy. Better. Quite recover'd. What pass'd I thought it had for ever taken leave of. between you and Edward ?
Young R. Bless your heart! perhaps I may Frank. Why, at first be were in a despe- tickle it up a little more. — [10 Vortex] rate passion; but when I told him I were ihy Now, stand out of the way, will you? brother, he were so humble, and did ax I so Vorter. You're quite free and easy. to forgive un, that I could say no more to un. Young R. My way. Dom it, I could not hit him when he were Vortex. You forget 'tis my house. down; and I've a notion bis conscience was Young R. No, I don't!--you bought it with pegging, bim about pretty tightish. He swear'a ber money you know.be did love thee!
Vortex. Umph! Jessy. Did be, Frank? Did he say he lov'd Young R, Mum, now for Young Stanley's me?
cue. [To Elen] 'Pon my honour, ma'am, Enter Mr. and Miss VORTEX.
any man might be proud to-Hem-He does'nt
hear me--Such beauty! Such a shape !-such Miss V. What! torn the paper!- A hot-a-Hembeaded-only wait till he's my husbandVorter. Egad, I wish he would come though
Enter CHARLES STANLEY. Miss V, Ob, here he is.
Vortex. Zounds! he's here again [Getting Jessy. How my poor frame trembles. behind Young Rapid] What does he want?
Young R. Shall I ask him?
Young R. I say he's justly punished for the Vortex. Do.-I'll be very much obliged to length of the story he told. you.
Charles. Mr. Rapid, in expressing my obliYoung R. I will.-I'll manage.
gations, allow me to be[Winking and nodding to Vortex. Young R. Not more than a minute, I intreat. Vortex. Oh, thank you. Charles. Once more, my Ellen! supported
Rapid and Sir Hubert without
Old R. Where is he? by an indulgent parent's blessing on our union, Sir Hub. Be patient. l'entreat
Old R. I won't.-Let me come at him. Ellen. Oh, Charles! shall I then return your father's goodness by destroying his hopes for Enter Old RAPID and Sir HUBERT. ever? Shall I repay my Stanley's love by inflicting on him penury and sorrow? In pity, Jessy. (Young Rapid and Jessy kneel) no more!
Your blessing, sir ! Young R. [To Charles Stanley] What Old R. What? Oh! [Falls down on his may be your business here, Sir?
Knees, and embraces them both.] Charles. I came to take leave
Sir Hub. [After talking a part to his Son] Young R. Hush! (Aparl]-To enquire re- Mr. Rapid, by asserting your character as a specting that Lady's fortune.-We'll soon ans- man of honour, in rewarding the affections of wer all ihal, won't we?- [Nodding to Vortex. this amiable woman, you command my praise; Charles. I say, Sir
for beslowing happiness on my dear Charles, Young R. [Stapping him] We grant it,- receive an old man's blessing. we grant Mr. Vortex has recovered property Young R. Approbation from Sir Hubert to a considerable amount, but what 'signifies Stanley is praise indeed. that! She assigned it ļor five thousand pounds! Old R. Dam'me, there's the son of a taylor - You see how I'm going on. [To Nabob. for you!
Vortex. Oh, thank you, my dear friend! Vorlez. VVbat, a taylor ?
[To Vortex. guinea honestly gotten by blood drawn from Charles. And I should be satisfied
the finger, is sweeter than a million obtained Young R. You would be satisfied if you by blood drawn from the heart!-So, saw it. — Certainly-Very proper--Nothing in that. nature can be more reasonable; so, Nabob, Young R. Well, Nabob, how do
feel? shew him the paper, and settle the business Vortex. Egad, 'tis very odd;-but I declare at once. [Walks about, Vortex following I feel light and comfortable since Ellen ha him] Shew him the paper!-Don't keep the got her estale, and I somehow breathe more gentleman wailing all day – Shew bim the free, I've a notion the last line of my speech paper.- My dear fellow! what's the use of is true. walking after me! Shew him the paper. Young R. Come, I'll hear the last line.
Vortex. [Taking advantage of the Puuses Vortex. Why, “ that the first step towards in the foregoing Speech] I say — my dear securing the esteem of others, is to secure friend - Hush!-Be quiet! - I want to speak to your own.” you-You forget you destroyed it!
Young R. Stick to the last line. Young R. I destroyed it!
Ellen. And, dear uncle, take Sir Hubert Vortex. Hush!
Stanley for your physician. Follow bis prea Yonng R. He says I destroyed it!
scription of justice and benevolence, and, or Vortex. I did not-I'll take my oath I did life on it, you will soon thank me for my r** not.
commendation. Young R. And it is true.
Vortex. Well, to shew the sincerity of my Charles and Ellen. What!
intentions, allow me, Ellen, to present you Young R. True, upon my honour! he has these parchments, the title-deeds of this estatte no more hold on your estates, madam, than
[Presents Parchments I have.
Old R. I say, Ned, what nice measures they Charles [Kneeling to Ellen] Will you would make. now allow the humble Stanley to destroy the Ellen. And Sir, allow me to shew you the hopes of the wealthy Ellen? Will you permit true value of riches - [Giving the Parchment me to repay your love with penury and sor- to Stanley]-Convert them into happiness.
Old R. Well, l've only one observation to Ellen. Oh, chide on! [Raising him] Dear make. Stanley, my happiness is now complete. Young R. I hope it is a short one.
Young R. This is your house, ma'am.- I Jessy. What, impatient again? give you joy!-Sir, I give you joy! Nabob, 1 Young R. I am, and if I err, give you joy. Vorter. Oh, my head; you villain !
'Tis you, my generous Patrons, Young R. Don'i talk about villany,-it will
cause, make you worse. Sit down, my dear fellow! My heart's impatient for your kind apCharles. He's justly punished for the false
plause. hood of the story he told.
A SCHOOL FOR GROWN CHILDREN. This comedy appeared at Covent-Garden in the beginning of the present year, 1897, and was hailed with the marks of the greatest satisfaction by the delighted Londoners. Old Revel's manner of bringing his son to a right knowledge of his feulis, descends rather to the farcical; but there are some excellent liits at character throughout the whole piece, and from Bobby Battercup 10 Sir Arthur Stanmore, we have some good sketches of nature. May Sir Arthurs never more be obliged to apply sueh severe remedies with Lady Stanmores, and no Miss Raven's gentle counsel tempt a wife to abuse her privileges. The scenes between Sir Arthur and Lady Stanmore, are well deserving of a first place in real comedy, and have the sterling slamp of real life upon them. The author of the best comedy in the Eng'ish language (School for scandal) seems to have lent his prn; and, but that we know he is "gathered in his fathers," we shonld have been inclined to have thought them the production of his genius. Gooil old Dame Ryeland, honest Frank and Fanny Blooinly, by their native simplicity, interest is highly in their favnur. Poor Frank's heart-breaking situation at having lost his money, is rendered tender to a degree, by the reception the good old Deme gives him at his relate to the collage; that was indeed a schovl for him: and litle Fanny's vanity is well humbled by reflecting, that she was the cause of Frank's desperation, the loss of his money, and consequently the author of his as well as her own misfortune. Young Revel's reformalion, and determinations are very well drawn: he'll "rise al ten,” form plans of economy, and a thousand other things in fact the lessons given to every one in this comedy, may well entitle it to be called “A School for grown children The word "gehoo!" seems to have become quite in vogue lately, for titles to good co medies' we have the "school for Scandal," "Ecole des Vieillards," "A School for grown children."
SIR ARTHUR STANMORE.
DRAMATIS PERSONAE. BUTTERCUP (Servant SERVANT TO YOUNG LADY STANMORE. to Old Revel).
Domestics, Sailors etc. HANNAH.
-no, no-all my pride, all my joy; for thou SCENE I.-The interior of a farm-house-wouldst do credit to the best lady of the land. Dame Ryeland in widow's weeds working
Frank. Be quiet, mother, or you will make a patch quilt, a spinning-wheel near her.
me as conceited as my poor father was. Had Frank Ryeland writing, with account- not we belter see what stock we have left? books before him.- A large open window,
[Returns to the table. displaying a sea view.
[Fanny sings without.]
Was not that my Fanny's voice? Dame. Well, Frank, have you almos!
(Runs to the window, nods, finished?
and kisses his hand. Prank. Only two or three more items, Dame. Flere's the schedule. (Sits] First, my mother, and then
favourite blind mare. [Reading the schedule. Dame. [Rising] Aye, and then I hope to Frank. How handsome she is! meet your father's creditors with a cheerful Dame. No! nothing to brag about. What look, a good conscience, and twenty shillings had 'we best do with her, -eh, Frank? in the pound: it will be the proudest day of Frank. To part with her would be my death. my life; and all owing to thy labour and care, Dame. [Rising] Your death! what's the my dear boy!
boy talking about? Looking over his shoulder] Frunk. Don't talk of that, mother, it puts Oh! that's it. Sit down, you silly child! me out; nine and seven, sixteen
[Fanny Bloomly appears ai the window. Dame. Your poor dead father was ruined Funny. Good morning, Dame. The like to by vanity: he must dress himself like a jackan-you, Frank. Do you want me this morning, apes, and keep company with your gentry Dame? and boxing-men, and such like; would have Frank. Oh yes, Fanny, my mother wants made me a polite fine lady, if he could; but you very much' indeed. Is she not beautiful? I defied him. [Wrapping up her work.
[To Dame 'R. Frank. Be happy, mother; all's right, [brings Dame. Why if she prove as good as she's down the account-book]-father's debts, seven well-looking, she'll make an excellent wife; hundred and ninety, pounds.
but I wish she would away with those flauntDame. Shame, shame!
ing ribbons and flowers; they don't beconie Frank. Value of corn and slock wipes out her humble station. the debt, and leaves a small balance we can Frank. But they become ber complexion. honestly call our own.
Dame. Vanity, vanity! Has she not me for Daine. And this done in twelve months! a model to dress by ?
Frank. To be sure we have left the farm Fanny. Frank, see, see-your landlord, Mr. cruel bare.
Revel, is coming. Oh such grand coaches and Dame. Never mind, Frank, if only a blade stylish liveries! Gemini, how genteel! of straw is left, I shall be the happiest woman Dame. Genteel! I hate that word. in the Hundred, for no one can say, that by Fanny. Come, or you'll lose the sight. Martha Ryeland's family they have been wrong
[Leaves the window. ed of a penny; and ihat is worth the rent Frank. I can't come, Fanny, I am very of the whole parish.
busy. Plague on't, I've split up my pen, and Frank. So it is, mother.
There is not another in the house. Dame. (Placing her hand on his shoulder] Dame. Go thy ways-go thy ways. There's Ah! here is placed all my cares, all my fears no more good to be done now I'm sure.