For. Troth, sir, I would be glad to bestow half, nay, three parts of his yearly charge in a bottle o'you, if it please you to accept it-holding war, and against what enemy soever. Brain. O, sirAnd how would I do it, think you?

For. But to hear the manner of your services and your devices in the wars; they say they be very strange, and not like those a man reads in the Roman histories, or sees at Mile-end.

Young K. Nay, I know not; nor can I conceive.

Capt. B. Why, thus, sir: I would select nineteen more to myself, throughout the land; gentlemen they should be; of a good spirit, Brain. No, I assure you, sir; why, at any and able constitution; I would choose them time when it please you, I shall be ready to by an instinct, a character that I have; and I discourse with you all I know—and more too, would teach these nineteen the special rules, somewhat. [Aside. as your punto, your reverso, your stoccata, For. No better time than now, sir. We'll imbroccata, your passada, your montanto; till go to the Windmill; there we shall have a they could all play very near, or altogether cup of neat grist, as we call it. I pray you, as well as myself. This done, say the enemy sir, let me request you to the Windmill." were forty thousand strong, we twenty would Brain. I'll follow you, sir; and make grist come into the field the tenth of March, or o'you, if I have good luck. [Exeunt. thereabouts, and we would challenge twenty of the enemy; they could not in their honour Re-enter Young KNO'WELL, with MASTER refuse us.-Well, we would kill them; chalMATTHEW, CAPTAIN BOBADIL, and STEPHEN. lenge twenty more, kill them; twenty more, Mat. Sir, did your eyes ever taste the like kill them too; and thus would we kill every clown of him, where we were to-day, Mr. man his twenty a day, that's twenty score; Wellbred's half brother? I think the whole twenty score, that's two hundred; two hundred earth cannot show his parellel, by this day-light. a day, five days a thousand; forty thousand; Young K. We are now speaking of him. forty times five, five times forty, two hundred Captain. Bobadil tells me he is fallen foul days kills them all by computation. And this o'you too. I will venture my poor gentleman-like carcass

Mat. O, ay, sir! he threaten'd me with the to perform, provided there be no treason pracbastinado. tised upon us, by fair and discreet manhood, that is, civilly by the sword.

Capt. B. Ay, but I think I taught you prevention this morning for that- You shall kill him, beyond question, if you be so generously minded.

Mat. Indeed, it is a most excellent trick! Capt. B. O, you do not give spirit enough to your motion; you are too tardy, too heavy! O, it must be done like lightning; hey! Tut, 'tis nothing, an't be not done in a punto.

Young K. Why, are you so sure of your hand, captain, at all times?

Capt. B. Tut, never miss thrust, upon my reputation with you.

Young K. I would not stand in Downright's state then, an' you meet him, for the wealth of any one street in London.

Capt. B. Why, sir, you mistake. If he were here now, by this welkin, I would not draw my weapon on him! Let this gentleman do his mind; but I will bastinado him, by the bright sun, wherever I meet him.

Mat. Faith, and I'll have a fling at him, at my distance.

Young K. Captain, did you ever prove yourself upon any of our masters of defence here? Mal. O, good sir! yes, I hope he has! Capt. B. I will tell you, sir. They have assaulted me some three, four, five, six of them together, as I have walked alone in divers skirts o'the town, where I have driven them before me the whole length of a street, in the open view of all our gallants, pitying to hurt them, believe me. Yet all this lenity will not over-yonder he goes. come their spleen; they will be doing with

Enter DOWNRIGHT, walking over the Stage.
Young K. God's so! Lookye where he is;

Down. What peevish luck have I; I can

the pismire, raising a hill a man may spurn not meet with these bragging rascals!
abroad with his foot at pleasure. By myself
I could have slain them all; but I delight not
in murder. I am loath to bear any other than
this bastinado for 'em; yet I hold it good
policy not to go disarmed; for, though I be
skilful, I may be oppressed with multitudes.

Young K. Ay, believe me, may you, sir; and, in my conceit, our whole nation should sustain the loss by it, if it were so.

Capt. B. Alas, no! What's a peculiar man to a nation? Not seen.

Young K. O, but your skill, sir!

Capt. B. It's not he, is it?"
Young K. Yes, faith, it is he.'
Mat. I'll be hang'd then if that were he.
Young K. I assure you that was he.
Step. Upon my reputation, it was he.
Capt. B. Had I thought it had been he, he
must not have gone so; but I can hardly be
induced to believe it was he yet.

Young K. That I think, sir.-But see, he is come again!

Re-enter Downright.

Capt. B. Indeed, that might be some loss; Down. Oh, Pharaoh's foot! have I found but who respects it? I will tell you, sir, by you? Come, draw; to your tools. Draw, the way of private, and under seal, I am a gipsy, or I'll thrash you.

gentleman, and live here obscure, and to my- Capt. B. Gentleman of valour, I do believe self; but were I known to his majesty and in thee, hear methe lords, observe me, I would undertake, upon

Down. Draw your weapon then.

this poor head and life, for the public benefit Capt. B. Tall man, I never thought on't till of the state, not only to spare the entire lives now, body of me! I had a warrant of the of his subjects in general, but to save the one peace served on me even now, as I came

[Downright beats Captain Bobadil;

along, by a water-bearer; this gentleman saw composed. These starts of passion have some it, Mr. Matthew. cause, I fear, that touches you more nearly. Kite. Sorely, sorely, Thomas. It cleaves too close to me oh me! [Sighs] Lend me thy arm-so, good Cash.

Matthew runs away. Down. 'Sdeath, you will not draw then? Capt. B. Hold, hold, under thy favour, forbear. Down. Prate again, as you like this, you whoreson foist you. You'll control the point, you? Your consort is gone; had he staid, he had shared with you, sir.

Cash. You tremble and look pale! Let me call assistance.

Kite. Not for ten thousand worlds!-Alas! alas! 'tis not in medicine to give me ease – [Exit. here, here it lies.

Young K. Twenty, and kill 'em; twenty more, kill them too-ha, ha!

Cash. What, sir?

Kite. Why nothing, nothing. I am not Capt. B. Well, gentlemen, bear witness; I sick, yet more than dead; I have a burning was bound to the peace, by this good day. fever in my mind, and long for that, which Young K. No, faith, it's an ill day, captain, having, would destroy me. never reckon it other; but say you were bound Cash. Believe me 'tis your fancy's imposition. to the peace, the law allows you to defend Shut up your generous mind from such inyourself; that will prove but a poor excuse. truders. I'll hazard all my growing favour Capt. B. I cannot tell, sir. I desire good with you; I'll stake my present, my future construction, in fair sort. I never sustained welfare, that some base whispering knavethe like disgrace, by heaven. Sure I was nay, pardon me, sir-bath, in the best and struck with a planet. richest soil, sown seeds of rank and evil naStep. No, captain, you was struck with a stick. ture!-Oh, my master, should they take rootYoung K. Ay, like enough; I have heard of [Laughing within. many that have been beaten under a planet. Kite. Hark! hark! Dost thou not hear?Go, get you to a surgeon. 'Slid, and these What think'st thou now? Are they not laughing be your tricks, your passados and your mon- at me? They are, they are. They have detantos, I'll none of them. ceived the wittol, and thus they triumph in Capt. B. I was planet-struck certainly. [Exit. their infamy. This aggravation is not to be Young K. O, manners! that this age should borne. [Laughing again] Hark, again!—Cash, bring forth such creatures! that nature should do thou unseen steal in upon 'em, and listen be at leisure to make 'em! Come, coz. to their wanton conference. Step. Mass, I'll have this cloak. Cash. I shall obey you, though against my Young K. God's will, 'tis Downright's. will. [Exit. Step. Nay, it's mine now; another might Kite. Against his will! Ha! it may be so. have ta'en it up as well as I. P wear it, He's young, and may be bribed for them: they've various means to draw the unwary in

so I will.

Young K. How, an' he see it? He'll chal-If it be so, I'm lost, deceived, betrayed, and lenge it, assure yourself.

Step. Ay, but he shall not ha't; I'll say I bought it. Young K. Take heed you buy it not too dear, coz. [Exeunt. SCENE III-A Chamber in KITELY'S House. Enter KITELY and CASH.

my bosom, my full-fraught bosom, is unlocked and opened to mockery and laughter! Heaven forbid! He cannot be that viper; sting the hand that raised and cherish'd him? Was this stroke added, I should be cursed.-But it cannot be-no, it cannot be.

Re-enter CASH.

Cash. You are musing, sir.

Kile. Art thou sure, Thomas, we have pry'd into all and every part throughout the house? Kite. I ask your pardon, Cash. Ask me not Is there no by-place, or dark corner, has es-why-I have wronged you, and am sorry.— caped our searches?

Cash. Indeed, sir, none; there's not a hole or nook unsearched by us, from the upper loft unto the cellar.

Tis gone.

Cash. If you suspect my faithKite. I do not-say no more—and for my sake let it die and be forgotten. - Have you Kite. They have convey'd him then away, seen your mistress, and heard whence was or hid him in some privacy of their own. that noise?

a soft tread of feet?

Whilst we were searching of the dark closet Cash. Your brother, master Wellbred, is by my sister's chamber, didst thou not think with 'em, and I found 'em throwing out their thou heard'st a rustling on the other side, and mirth on a very truly ridiculous subject: it is one Formal, as he styles himself, and he Cash. Upon my truth, I did not, sir; or if appertains, so he phrases it, to justice Clement, you did, it might be only the vermin in the and would speak with you. wainscot; the house is old, and over-run Kite. With me? Art thou sure it is the justice's clerk? Where is he?

with 'em.

Kite. It is indeed, Thomas. We should bane these rats. Dost thou understand me?

Enter BRAINWORM, as FORMAL.

We will they shall not harbour here; I'll Who are you, friend?
cleanse my house from 'em, if fire or poison
can effect it-I will not be tormented thus.-garly called his clerk.
They gnaw my brain, and burrow in my heart
-I cannot bear it.

Brain. An appendix to justice Clement, vul

Cash. I do not understand you, sir. Good now, what is't disturbs you thus? Pray be

Kite. What are your wants with me?

Brain. None.

Kite. Do you not want to speak with me?
Brain. No, but my master does.

Kite. What are the justice's commands? I could content me with less gain and vantage. Brain. He doth not command, but entreats To have thee more at home, indeed I could.

master Kitely to be with him directly, having Dame K. Your doubts, as well as love, may matters of some moment to communicate breed these thoughts. Kite. That jar untunes me.

[Aside. Kite. What can it be? Say I'll be with Vhat dost thou say? Doubt thee? him instantly; and if your legs, friend, go not I should as soon suspect my self-No, no, faster than your tongue, I shall be there be- My confidence is rooted in thy merit, fore you. So fix'd and settled, that, wert thou inclin'd [Exit. To masks, to sports, and balls, where lusty

Kite. 'Tis a precious fool indeed!—I must go forth. But first come hither, Thomas-I Leads up the wanton dance, and the rais'd have admitted thee into the close recesses of my heart, and showed thee all my frailties, Beats quicker measures, yet I could with joy, passions, every thing. With heart's ease and security-not but

Be careful of thy promise, keep good watch. I had rather thou shouldst prefer thy home Wilt thou be truc, my Thomas?

Cash. As truth's self, sir.

But be assur'd you're heaping care and trouble
Upon a sandy base; ill-plac'd suspicion
Recoils upon yourself. - She's chaste as comely !
Believe't she is. Let her not note your humour;
Disperse the gloom upon your brow, and be
As clear as her unsullied honour.

Kite. I will then, Cash-thou comfort'st me
-I'll drive these

Fiend-like fancies from me, and be myself again.
Think'st thou she has perceiv'd my folly? Twere
Happy, if she had not-she has not-
They who know no evil will suspect none.
Cash. True, sir; nor has your mind a
blemish now.

This change has gladden'd me. Here's my

And the rest; settle your reason to accost 'em.
Kite. I will, Cash, I will.

Enter WELLBRED, DAME KITELY, and BRIDGET.
Well. What are you a plotting, brother
Kitely,

That thus of late you muse alone, and bear My dear; there, there, now we are reconcil'dSuch weighty care upon your pensive brow? I'll be back immediately-Good by, good by. [Laughs. Ha, ha! jealous, I shall burst my sides with

brother; so much I can tell you for your a false message! This was some plot. I was learning. O, ho! is this the fruits of 's jea-not sent for. Bridget, where's your sister? lousy? I thought some game was in the wind, he acted so much tenderness but now; but I'll be quit with him.-Thomas!

Re-enter CASH.

Fetch your hat, Thomas, and go with me. [Exit Cash] I would to fortune I could take him there, I'd return him his own, I warrant him! I'd fit him for his jealousy!

Brid. I think she be gone forth, sir.

Kite. How? is my wife gone forth? Whither, for heaven's sake.

Brid. She's gone abroad with Thomas. Kite. Abroad with Thomas! Oh, that villain cheats me!

He hath discover'd all unto my wife; [Exit. Beast that I was to trust him. [Aside] Whither, I pray

Well. Ha, ha! so e'en let 'em go; this may make sport anon-What, Brainworm!

Brain. I saw the merchant turn the corner, and come back to tell you all goes well; wind and tide, my master.

Well. But how got'st thou this apparel of the justice's man?

Brain. Marry, sir, my proper fine penman would needs bestow the grist o'me at the Windmill, to hear some marshal discourse,

You, went she?
Brid. I know not, sir.

Well. I'll tell you, brother, whither I suspect
she's gone.

Kite. Whither, good brother?

Well. To Cob's house, I believe; but keep my counsel.

Kite. I will, I will.-To Cob's house! Does she haunt there?

where 1 so marshalled him, that I made him She's gone on purpose now to cuckold me, drunk with admiration; and because too much With that lewd rascal, who, to win her favour, heat was the cause of his distemper, I stripp'd Hath told her all-Why would you let her go? him stark naked as he lay along asleep, and Well. Because she's not my wife; if she borrowed his suit to deliver this counterfeit were, I'd keep her to her tether. message in, leaving a rusty armour, and an Kite. So, so; now 'tis plain. I shall go mad old brown bill, to watch him till my return; With my misfortunes, now they pour in torrents. which shall be, when I have pawned his ap- I'm bruted by my wife, betray'd by my servant, parel, and spent the better part of the money, Mock'd at by my relations, pointed at by my perhaps. neighbours,

ACT V.

SCENE I-Stocks-market,

Well. Well, thou art a successful, merry Despis'd by myself-There is nothing left now knave, Brainworm; his absence will be sub- But to revenge myself first, next hang myself; ject for more mirth. I pray thee, return to And then-all my cares will be over. [Exeunt. thy young master, and will him to meet me and my sister Bridget at the Tower instantly; for here, tell him, the house is so stored with jealousy, there is no room for love to stand upright in. We must get our fortunes committed to some large prison; say: and then the Tower, I know no better air, nor where Mat. I wonder, captain, what they will say the liberty of the house may do us more pre-of my going away! ha? sent service. Away. [Exit Brainworm. Capt. B. Why, what should they say? but Brid. What, is this the engine that you as of a discreet gentleman; quick, wary, respecttold me of? What further meaning have you ful of nature's fair lineaments, and that's all in the plot? Mat. Why so? but what can they say of

Enter MASTER MATTHEW and CAPTAIN
BOBADIL.

Well. That you may know, fair sister-in-your beating? law, how happy a thing it is to be fair and beautiful.

Capt. B. A rude part, a touch with soft wood, a kind of gross battery used, lain on Brid. That touches not me, brother. strongly, borne most patiently, and that's all. Well. Well, there's a dear and well-respect- But wherefore do I wake their remembrance? ed friend of mine, sister, stands very strongly I was fascinated, by Jupiter! fascinated; but and worthily affected towards you, and hath I will be unwitched, and revenged by law. vowed to inflame whole bonfires of zeal at his Mat. Do you hear? Is't not best to get a heart, in honour of your perfections. I have warrant, and have him arrested, and brought already engaged my promise to bring you before justice Clement? where you shall hear him confirm much more. Ned Kno'well is the man, sister. There's no exception against the party. What say you, to him. sister? On my soul he loves you; will you give him this meeting?

Brid. 'Faith, I had very little confidence in my own constancy, brother, if I durst not meet a man; but this motion of yours savours of an old knight adventurer's servant, a little too much, methinks.

Well. What's that, sister?

Brid. Marry, of the go-between. Well. No matter if it did; I would be such a one for my friend. But see, who is returned to hinder us.

Re-enter KItely.

Capt. B. It were not amiss; would we had it!
Mat. Why, here comes his man, let's speak

Capt. B. Agreed. Do you speak.

Enter BRAINWOrm, as Formal.
Mat. Save you, sir.

Brain. With all my heart, sir.

Mat. Sir, there is one Downright hath abused this gentleman and myself, and we determine to make ourselves amends by law; now if you would do us the favour to procure a warrant to bring him before your master, you shall be well considered of, I assure you, sir.

Brain. Sir, you know my service is my living; such favours as these, gotten of my Kite. What villany is this? Called out on master, is his only preferment, and therefore

Brain. Faith, sir, the thing is extraordinary, and the gentleman may be of great account. Yet, be what he will, if you will lay me down a brace of angels in my hand, you shall have it, otherwise not. Mat. How shall we do, captain? He asks a brace of angels. You have no money. [Apart to Capt. B. Capt. B. Not a cross, by fortune. [Apart. Mat, Nor I, as I am a gentleman, but twopence left of my two shillings in the morning for wine and raddish. Let's find him some

pawn.

Capt. B. Pawn! We have none to of his demand.

Mat. O yes, I can pawn my

Tib. Why, what's the matter with you?
Dame K. Why, woman, grieves it you to
ope the door?

Belike you get something to keep it shut.
Tib. What mean these questions, pray you?
Dame K. So strange you make it! Is not
my husband here?

Kno. Her husband!

[Aside. Dame K. My tried and faithful husband, master Kitely.

[ Apart. Tib. I hope he needs not be tried here.
the value Dame K. Come hither, Cash. I see my
[Apart. turtle coming to his haunts.-Let us retire.
[They retire.
Kno. This must be some device to mock
me withal.

ring here.
[Apart.

Capt. B. And, harkye, he shall have my trusty Toledo too; I believe I shall have no service Soft-who is this?-Oh! 'tis my son disguis'd. for it to-day. [Apart. I'll watch him and surprise him. Enter KITELY, muffled in a Cloak.

Mat. Do you hear, sir? We have no store of money at this time, but you shall have good pawns. Look you, sir, I will pledge this Kite. 'Tis truth, I see: there she skulks. ring, and that gentleman his Toledo, because But I will fetch her from her hold-I will— we would have it dispatch'd. I tremble so I scarce have power to do the

justice

Brain. I am content, sir; I will get you the warrant presently. What's his name, say Her infamy demands. you? Downright?

Mat. Ay, ay, George Downright. Brain. Well, gentlemen, I'll procure you the warrant presently. But who will you have to serve it?

Mat. That's true, captain; that must be considered.

[As Kitely goes forward, Dame Kitely and Kno'well lay hold of him. Kno. Have I trapped you, youth? You cannot 'scape me now.

Dame K. O, sir! have I forestall'd your honest market?

Found your close walks? You stand amaz'd Capt B. Body o'me, I know not! 'Tis ser- Now, do you? Ah, hide, hide your face for vice of danger!

shame!

Brain. Why, you were best get one of l'faith, I am glad I've found you out at last. the varlets o'the city, a sergeant; I'll appoint Kno. What mean you, woman? Let go your hold.

you one, if you please.

Mat. Will you, sir? Why, we can wish I see the counterfeit. I am his father,

no better.

Capt. B. We'll leave it to you, sir.

And claim him as my own.

Kite. [Discovers himself] I am your cuckold, and claim my vengeance. Dame K. What, do you wrong me, and insult me too?

[Exeunt Captain Bobadil and Matthew. Brain. This is rare! Now will l go pawn this cloak of the justice's man's, at the broker's for a varlet's suit, and be the varlet myself, Thou faithless man! and so get money on all sides.

[Exit. Kite. Out on thy more than strumpet's impudence!

SCENE II. The street before Cor's House.

Enter KNo'well.

Kno. O, here it is; I have found it now.Hoa, who is within here?

Steal'st thou thus to thy haunts? And have
I taken

Thy bawd and thee, and thy companion, This hoary-headed letcher, this old goat, Close at your villany, and wouldst thou 'scuse it [Tib appears at the Window. With this stale harlot's jest, accusing me? Tib. I am within, sir. What's your pleasure? O, old incontinent, dost thou not shame Kno. To know who is within besides yourself. To have a mind so hot, and to entice, Tib. Why, sir, you are no constable, I hope? And feed the enticement of a lustful woman? Kno. O, fear you the constable? Then I Dame K. Out! I defy thee, thou dissembling doubt not you have some guests within dewretch! serve that fear. I'll fetch him straight,

Tib. For heaven's sake, sir

Kuo. Go to! Come, tell me, is not young Kno'well here?

Tib. Young Kno'well! I know none such, sir, o'my honesty.

Kno. Your honesty, dame? It flies too lightly from you. There is no way but fetch the

constable.

Kite. Defy me, strumpet! Ask thy pander
here;

Can he deny it, or that wicked elder?
Kno. Why, hear you, sir-

Cash. Master, 'tis in vain to reason while these passions blind you. I'm griev'd to see you thus.

Kite. Tut, tut, never speak; I see through every

Tib. The constable! the man is mad, I think. Veil you cast upon your treachery; but I have