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For. Troth, sir, I would be glad to bestow half, nay, three parts of his yearly charge in a bottle o'you, if it please you to accept it-holding war, and against what enemy soever. Brain. 0, sir
And how would I do it, think you? For. But to hear the manner of your ser- Young K. Nay, I know not; nor can I vices and your devices in the wars; they say conceive. they be very strange, and not like those a Capt. B. Why, thus, sir: I would select man reads in the Roman histories, or sees at nineteen more to myself, throughout the land; Mile-end.
gentlemen they should be; of a good spirit, Brain. No, I assure-you, sir; why, at any and able constitution; I would choose them time when it please you, I shall be ready to by an instinct, a character that I have; and I discourse with you all I know-and more too, would teach these nineteen the special rules, somewhat.
[Aside. as your punto, your reverso, your stoccata, For. No better time than now, sir. We'll imbroccaia, your passada, your montanto; till go to the Windmill; there we shall have a they could all play very near, or altogether cup of neat grist, as we call it. I pray you, as well as myself. This done, say the enemy sir, let me request you to the Windmill. were forty thousand strong, we twenty would
Brain. I'll follow you, sir; and make grist come into the field the tenth of March, or o'you, if I have good luck. [Exeunt. thereabouts, and we would challenge twenty
of the enemy; they could not in their honour Re-enter Young Kno'well, with MASTER refuse us. Well, we would kill them; chalMatthew, Captain BOBADIL, and STEPHEN. lenge twenty more, kill them; twenty more,
Mat. Sir, did your eyes ever taste the like kill them too; and thus would we kill every clown of him, where we were to-day, Mr. man his twenty a day, that's twenty score; Wellbred's balf brother? I think the whole twenty score, that's two hundred; two hundred earth cannot show his parellel, by this day-light. a day, five days a thousand; forty thousand;
Young K. We are now speaking of bim. forty times five, five times forty, two hundred Captaic Bobadil tells me he is fallen foul days kills them all by computation. And this o'you too.
I will venture my poor gentleman-like carcass Mat. 0, ay, sir! he threaten'd me with the to perform, provided there be no treason pracbastinado.
tised upon us, by fair and discreet manhood, Capt. B. Ay, but I think I taught you pre-that is, civilly by the sword. vention this morning for that - You shall kill Young K.' Why, are you so sure of your bim, beyond question, if you be so generously band, captain, at all times? minded.
Capt. B. Tut, never miss thrust, upon my Mat. Indeed, it is a most excellent trick! reputation with you.
Capt. B. O, you do not give spirit enough Young K. I would not stand in Downright's to your motion; you are too tardy, too heavy! state then, an' you meet him, for the wealth 0, it must be done like lightning; hey! Tut, of any one street in London. 'tis nothing, an't be not done in a punto. Capt. B. Why, sir, you mistake. If he were
Young K. Captain, did you ever prove your- here now, by this welkin, I would not draw self upon any of our masters of defence here? my weapon on him! Let this gentleman do
Mal. O, good sir! yes, I hope be bas! his mind; but I will bastinado him, by the
Capi. B. I will tell you, sir. They have bright sun, wherever I meet bim. assaulted me some three, four, five, six of them Mat. Faith, and I'll have a fling at him, at together, as I have walked alone in divers skirts my distance. o'the town, where I have driven them before me the whole length of a street, in the open Enter Downright, walking over the Stage. view of all our gallants, pitying to hurt them, Young K. God's so! Lookye where he is; believe me.
Yet all this lenity will not over- yonder he goes. come their spleen; they will be doing with Down. What peevish luck have I; I canthe pismire, raising a hill a man may spurn not meet with these bragging rascals! abroad with his foot at pleasure. By myself Capt. B. It's not be, is it? I could have slain them all; but I delight not Young K. Yes, faith, it is he.' in murder. I am loath to bear any other than Mat. I'll be hang'd then if that were he. this bastinado for 'em; yet I hold it good Young K. I assure you that was he. policy not to go disarmed; for, though I be Step. Upon my reputation, it was he. skilful, I may be oppressed with multitudes. Capt. B. Had I thought it had been he, he
Young K. Ay, believe me, may you, sir; must not have gone so; but I can hardly be and, in my conceit, our whole nation should induced to believe it was be yet. sustain the loss by it, if it were so.
Young K. That I think, sir.-But see, he is Capt. B. Alas, 'no! What's a peculiar man come again! to a nation? Not seen. Young K. O, but your skill, sir!
Re-enter DOWNRIGHT. Capt. B. Indeed, that might be some loss; Down. Oh, Pharaoh's foot! have I found but who respects it? I will tell you, sir, by you? Come, draw; to your tools. Draw, the way of private, and under seal, I am a gipsy, or I'll thrash you. gentleman, and live here obscure, and to my- Capt. B. Gentleman of valour, I do believe self; but were I known to his majesty and in thee, hear methe lords, observe me, I would undertake, upon Down. Draw your weapon then. this poor head and life, for the public benefit Capt. B. Tall man, I never thought on't till of the state, not only to spare the entire lives now, body of me! I had a warrant of the of his subjects in general, but to save the one peace served on me even now, as I
along, by a water-bearer; this gentleman saw composed. These starts of passion have some it, Mr. Matthew.
cause, I fear, that touches you more nearly. [Downright beats Captain Bobadil; Kile. Sorely, sorely, Thomas. It cleaves too Matthew runs away.
close to me - oh me! [Sighs] Lend me thy Down. 'Sdeath, you will not draw then?
arm-so, good Gash. Capt. B. Hold, bold, under thy favour, forbear. Cash. You tremble and look pale! Let me Down. Prale again, as you like this, you call assistance. whoreson foist you. You'll control the point, Kite, Not for ten thousand worlds !-Alas! you? Your consort is gone; bad he staid, he alas! 'lis not in medicine to give me ease – had shared with you, sir.
[Exit. here, here it lies. Young K. Twenty, and kill 'em; twenty Cash. What, sir? more, kill them too-ha, ba!
Kile. Why — nothing, nothing. - I am not Capt. B. Well, gentlemen, bear witness; 1 sick, yet more than dead; I have a burning was bound to the peace, by this good day.. fever in my mind, and long for tbal, wbich
Young K. No, faith, it's an ill day, capiain, having, would destroy me. never reckon it other; but say you were bound Cash. Believe me 'lís your fancy's imposition. to the peace, the law allows you to defend Shut up your generous mind from such inyoursell; that will prove but a poor excuse. truders. - M'l hazard all my growing favour
Capt. B. I cannot tell, sir. I desire good with you;, I'll stake my present, my future construction, in fair sort. I never sustained welfare, that some base whispering knatethe like disgrace, by heaven. Sure I was nay, pardon me, sir bath, in the best and struck with a planel.
richesi soil, sown seeds of rank and evil maSlep. No, captain, you was struck with a stick. ture!-Oh, my master, should they lake rootYoung K. Ay, like enough; I have heard of
[Laughing within. many that have been bealen under a planet. Kite, Hark! hark! Dost thou not bear?Go, get you to a surgeon. 'Slid, and these What think'st thou now? Are they dot laughing be your tricks, your passados and your mon- at me? They are, they are. They have de tantos, I'll none of them.
ceived the wittol, and thus they triumph in Capi. B. I was planel-struck certainly. [Exit
. their infamy. This aggravation is not to be Young K. O, manners! that this age should borne. (Laughing again] Hark, again!-Cash, bring forth such creatures! that nature should do thou unseen steal in upon 'em, and listen be at leisure to make 'em! Come, coz. to their wanton conference. Step. Mass, I'll have this cloak.
Cash. I sball obey you, though against my Young K. God's will, 'tis Downright's. will.
Step. Nay, it's mine now; another might Kile. Against his will! Ha! it may be so. have ta'en it up as well as I. PHI wear it, He's young, and may be bribed for them: so I will.
they've various means to draw the unwary in. Young K. How, an' he see it? He'll ebal- If it be so, I'm lost, deceived, betrayed, and lenge it, assure yourself.
my bosom, my full-fraught bosom, is unlocked Štep. Ay, but he shall not ha't; I'll say 1 and opened lo mockery and laughter! Heaven bought it.
forbid! He cannot be that viper; sting the Young K. Take heed you buy it not too band that raised and cherish'd him? Was this dear, coz.
[E.reunt, stroke added, I should be cursed.-But it can
not be-no, it cannot be. SCENE III.- A Chamber in Kitely's House. Enter KITELY and Cash.
Re-enter Cash Kile. Art thou sure, Thonas, we have pry'd Cash. You are musing, sir. into all and every part throughout the bouse? Kile. I ask your pardon, Cash. Ask me not Is there ro by-place, or dark corner, has es- why – I have wronged you, and am sorry.caped our searches?
Cash. Indeed, sir, none; there's not a bole Cash. If you suspect my faithor nook unsearched by us, from the upper Kite. I do not-say no moremand for my loft unto the cellar.
sake let it die and be forgotten. - Have you Kite. They have convey'd bim then away, seen your mistress, and heard whence was or hid him in some privacy of their own. that noise ? Whilst we were searching of the dark closet Cash. Your brother, master Wellbred, is by my sister's chamber', didst thou not think with 'em, and I found 'em throwing out their thou heard'st a rustling on the other side, and mirth on a very truly ridiculous suhject: it a soft Iread of feet?
is one Formal, as he styles himself, and he Cash. Upon my truth, I did not, sir; or if appertains, so he phrases it, to justice Clement, you did, it might be only the vermin in the and would speak with you. wainscot; the house is old, and over-run Kite. With me? Art thou sure it is the with 'em.
justice's clerk? Where is he? Kite. It is indeed, Thomas. We should bane these rats. Dost thou understand me? Enter BRAINWORM, as FORMAL. We will — they shall not harbour here; I'll Who are you, friend? cleanse my house from 'em, if fire or poison Brain. An appendix to justice Clement, vulcan effect it-1 will not be tormented thus.- garly called his clerk. They gnaw my brain, and burrow in my heart Kite. Whal are your wants with me? -I cannot bear it.
Brain. None. Cash. I do not understand you, sir. Good Kite. Do you nol want to speak with me? now, what is't disturbs you 'thus? Pray be! Brain. No, but my master does.
Kite. Wbat are the justice's commands ? I could content me with less gain and vantage.
Brain. He doth not command, but entreats To have thee more at home, indeed I could. master Kitely to be with him directly, having
Dame K. Your doubts, as well as love, may matters of some moment to communicate breed these thoughts. unto him.
Kite. That jar untunes me. [Aside. Kite. What can it be? Say I'll be with What dost thou say? Doubt thee? him instantly; and if your legs, friend, go not I should as soon suspect myself—No, no, faster than your tongue, I shall be there be- My confidence is rooted in thy merit,
So fix'd and settled, that, wert thou inclin'd Brain. I will. Vale.
[E.cit. To masks, to sporls, and balls, where lusty Kite. 'Tis a precious fool indeed!-I must
youth go forth. — But first come hither, Thomas — I Leads up the wanton dance, and the rais'd have admitted thee into the close recesses of
pulse my heart, and showed thee all my frailties, Beats quicker measures, yet I could with joy, passions, every thing.
With heart's ease and security-not but Be careful of thy promise, keep good watch. I had rather thou shoulds! prefer thy home Wilt thou be truc, my Thomas ?
And me, to loys and such like vanilies. Cash. As truth's self, sir.
Dame K. But sure, my dear, But be assurd you're heaping care and trouble A wise may moderately use these pleasures, Upon a sandy base; ill-plac'd suspicion Which numbers and the time give sanction to, Recoils upon yourself. - She's chaste as comely! Without the smallest blemish on her name. Believe't she is. Let her not note your
hurnour; Kile. And so she may - And I'll go with Disperse the gloom upon your brow, and be
thee, child, As clear as her unsullied honour.
I will indeed—I'll lead tbce there myself, Kite. I will then, Cash-thon comfort'st me And be the foremost reveller.—I'll silence -I'll drive these
The sneers of envy, stop the tongue of slander; Fiend-like fancies from me, and be myself again. Nor will I more be pointed at, as one Think'st thou she has perceiv'd my folly? 'Twere Disturbid with jealousyHappy, if she had not-she has not
Dane K. Why, were you ever so ? They who know no evil will suspect none.
Kite. What?-Ha! never- ha, ha, ha! Cash. True, sir; nor has your mind a She stabs me home. [Aside) Jealous of thee! blemish now.
No, do not believe it-Speak low, my love, This change has gladden'd me. Here's my Thy brother will overhear us-No, no, my dear, mistress,
It could not be, it could not be--for-forAnd the rest; settle your reason to accost 'em. What is the time now?-I shall be too lateKite. I will, Cash, I will.
No, no, tbou may'st be satisfied
There's not the smallest spark remainingEnter Wellbred, Dame KITELY, and Bridget. Remaining! What do I say? There never was, Well. What are you a plotting, brother Nor can, nor ever shall be—so be satisfied. Kitely,
Is Cob wilhin there? Give me a kiss, That thus of late you muse alone, and bear My dear; there, there, now we are reconcil'd— Such weighty care upon your pensive brow? I be back immediately - Good by, good by:
[Laughs. Ha, ha! jealous, I shall burst my sides with Kite. My care is all for you, good sneering
Ha, ha! Cob, where are you, Cob? Ha, ha! And well I wish you'd take some wholesome [Erit. Wellbred and Bridget come forward. counsel,
Well. What have you done to make your And curb your beadstrong humours; trust me, husband part so merry from you? He has of brother,
late been little given to laughter. You were to blame to raise commotions here, Dame K. He laughed indeed, but seemingly And hurt the peace and order of my house without mirth. His behaviour is new and
Well. No harm done, brother, I warrant you. strange. He is much agitated, and has some Since there is no harın done, anger costs whimsy in his head, that puzzles mine to read it. A man nothing, and a brave man is never Well. "Tis jealousy, good sister, and writ His own man till he be angry:-To keep so largely, that the blind may read it; have His valour in obscurity, is to keep himself
, you not perceived it yet? As it were, in a cloak-bag. What's a brave Dame K. If I hare, 'tis not always prudent Musician, unless be play?
that my tongue should betray my eyes, so far What's a brave man, unless he fight? my wisdom tends, good brother, and little
Dame K. Ay, but what harm might have more I boast-- But what makes him ever calling come of it, brother?
for Cob so? I wonder how he can employ him. Well. What, schoold on both sides! Priy- Well. Indeed, sister, to ask how he emthee, Bridget, save me from the rod and lecture. ploys. Cob, is a necessary, question for you
[Bridget and Wellbred retire, ibai are his wife, and a thing not very easy Kite. With what a decent modesty sbe for you to be satisfied in-But this I'll assure rates him!
you, Cob's wife is an excellent procuress, sister, My heart's at case, and she shall see it is. and oftentimes your husband haunts her house: How art thou, wife? Thou look'st both gay marry to what end, I cannot altogether accuse and comely;
him-imagine you what you think convenient In troth thou dost.-- I'm sent for out, my dear, 1-but I have known fair hides have foul hearts, But I shall soon return-Indeed, my life,
ere now, sister. Business that forces me abroad grows irksome. Dame K. Never said you tryer than that
brother; so much I can tell you for yourļa false message! This was some plot. I was learning; o, bo! is this the fruits of 's jea- not sent for. Bridget, where's your sister? lousy? I thought some game was in the wind, Brid, I think she be gone forth, sir. he acted so much tenderness but now; but I'll Kite. How? is my wife gone forth? Whibe quit with him.--Thomas!
tber, for heaven's sake. Re-enter Cash.
Brid. She's gone abroad with Thomas. Fetch your hat, Thomas, and go with me. Kite. Abroad with Thomas! Oh, that villain [Erit Cash] I would to fortune I could take
cheals me! him there, I'd return him his own, I warrant He hath discover'd all unto my wife; him! I'd lit him for bis jealousy! [Exit
. Beast that I was to trust him. [Aside) WhiWell. Ha, ha! so e'en let 'em go; this may
ther, I pray make sport anon- - What, brainworm! You, went she?
Brain. I saw the merchant turn the corner, Brid, I know not, sir. and come back to tell you all goes well; wind Well. I'll tell you, brother, whither I suspect and tide, my master.
Well. But how got'st thou this apparel of Kite. Whitber, good brother? the justice's man?
Well. To Cob's house, I believe; but keep Brain. Marry, sir, my proper fine penman
my counsel. would needs bestow the grist o'me at the Kite. I will, I will.—To Cob's house! Does Windmill, to hear some marshal discourse,
she haunt there? where I só marshalled him, that I made him She's 'gone on purpose now to cuckold me, drunk with admiration; and because too much With that lewd rascal, who, to win her farour, heat was the cause of his distemper, I stripp'd Hath told her all-Why would you let her go? him stark naked as he lay along asleep, and Well. Because she's not my wife; if she borrowed his suit to deliver this counterfeit were, l'd keep her to her tether. message in, leaving a rusty armour, and an Kitę. So, so; now 'tis plain. I sball go mad old brown bill, to watch him till my return; With my misfortunes, now they pour in torrents
. which shall be, when I have pawned his ap- I'm bruted by my wife, betray'd by my servant, parel, and spent the better part of the money, Mock'd at by my relations, pointed at by my perhaps.
neighbours, Well. Well, thou art a successful, merry Despis'd by myself—There is nothing left now knave, Brainworm; his absence will be sub- But to revenge myself first, next hang myself; ject for more mirth. I pray tbee, return to And then-all my cares will be over. (Exeunt. thy, young master, and will bim to meet me and my sister Bridget at the Tower instantly;
ACT V. for here, tell him, the house is so stored with
SCENE I.-Stocks-market, jealousy, there is no room for love to stand upright in. We must get our fortunes com
Enter MASTER Matthew and CAPTAIN mitted to some large prison, say: and then
BOBADIL. the Tower, I know no better air, nor where Mat. I wonder, captain, what they will say the liberty of the house may do us inore pre- of my going away! ha? sent service. Away. [Exit Brainworm. Capt. B. Why, what should they say? but
Brid. What, is this the engine that you as of a discreet gentleman; quick, wary, respecttold me of? What further meaning have you ful of nature's fair lineaments, and that's all. in the plot?
Mat. Why so ? but what can they say of Well
. That you may know, fair sister-in-your beating? law, how happy a thing it is to be fair and Capt. B. A rude part, a touch with soft beautiful.
wood, a kind of gross battery used, lain on Brid. That touches not me, brother. strongly, borne most patiently, and that's all.
Well. Well, there's a dear and well-respect- But wherefore do I wake their remembrance? ed friend of mine, sister, slands very strongly I was fascinated, by Jupiler! fascinated; but and worthily affected towards you, and hath I will be unwitched, and revenged by law. vowed to inflame whole bonfires of zeal at his Mat. Do you hear? Is't not best to get a heart, in honour of your perfections. I have warrant, and have bim arrested, and brought already engaged my promise to bring you before justice Clement? where you shall hear him confirm much more. Capt. B. It were not amiss; would we had it! Ned Kno'well is the man, sister. There's no Mat. Why, here comes his man, let's speak exception against the party. What say you, to him. sister? On my soul he loves you; will you Capt. B. Agreed. Do you speak. give him this meeting?
Brid. 'Faith, I had very little confidence in Enter BRAINWORM, as FORMAL. my own constancy, brother, if I durst not Mat. Save you, sir. meel a man; but this motion of yours savours Brain. With all my heart, sir. of an old knight adventurer's servant, a little Mat. Sir, there is one Downright hath abutoo much, methinks.
sed this gentleman and myself, and we deterWell. What's that, sister?
mine to make ourselves amends by law; now Brid. Marry, of the go-between.
if you would do us the favour to procure a Well. No matter if it did; I would be such warrant to bring him before your master, you a one for my friend. But see, who is returned shall be well considered of, 1 assure you, sir. to hinder us.
Brain. Sir, you know my service is my Re-enter Kitely.
living; such favours as these, gotten of my Kite. What villany is this? Called out on master, is his only preferment, and therefore you must consider me, as I may
make benefit] Enter Cash and Dame KITELY. of my place.
Kno. O, this is the female copesmate of my son. Mát. How is that, sir?
Now shall I meet him straight. [Aside. Brain. Faith, sir, the thing is extraordinary, Dame K. Knock, Thomas, hard. and the gentleman may be of great account. Cash. Hoa, good wife! Yet, be what he will, if you will lay me down Tib. Why, what's the matter with you? a brace of angels in my hand, you shall bave Dame K. Why, woman, grieves it you to it, otherwise not.
ope the door? Mat. How shall we do, captain? He asks a Belike you get something to keep it shut. brace of angels. You have no money,
Tib. "What mean these questions, pray you? [Apart to Capt. B. Dame K. So strange you make it! Is not Capt. B. Not a cross, by fortune. [Apart. my husband here? Mat. Nor I, as I am a gentleman, but two
Kno. Her husband!
[Aside. pence left of my two shillings in the morning Dame K. My tried and faithful husband, for wine and raddish. Let's find him some master Kitely. pawn.
s Apart. Tib. I hope he needs not be tried here. Capt. B. Pawn! We have none to the value Dame K. Come hither, Cash. - I see my of his demand.
[Aparl. turtle coming to his haunts.—Let us retire. Mat. ( yes, I can pawn my ring here.
[They retire. Apart. Kno. This must be some device to mock Capt. B. And, barkye, he shall have my trusty
me withal. Toledo too; I believe I shall have no service Soft-who is this?-Oh! 'tis my son disguis’d. for it to-day.
[Apart. I'll watch him and surprise him. Mat. Do you hear, sir? We have no store of money at this time, but you shall bave
Enter Kitely, muffled in a Cloak. good pawns. Look you, sir, I will pledge this Kite. 'Tis truth, I see: there she skulks. ring, and that gentleman his Toledo, because But I will fetch her from her hold—I willwe would have it dispatch'd.
I tremble so I scarce have power to do the Brain. I am content, sir; I will get you
justice the warrant presently. What's his name, say Her infamy demands. you? Downright?
(As Kitely goes forward, Dame Kitely Mat. Ay, ay, George Downright.
and Kno'well lay hold of him. Brain. Well, gentlemen, I'll procure you
Kno. Have I trapped you, youth? You canthe warrant presently. But who will you have not 'scape me now! to serve it?
Dame K. 0, sir! have I forestalld your Mat. That's true, captain; that must be
honest market? considered.
Found your close walks? You stand amaz'd Capt B. Body o’me, I know not! 'Tis ser- Now, do you? Ah, hide, bide your face for vice of danger!
shame! Brain. Why, you were best get one of l'faith, I am glad I've found you out at last. the varlets o'the city, a sergeant; I'll appoint
Kno. What mean you, woman? Let go you one, if you please. Mat. Will
you, sir? Why, we can wish I see the counterfeit. I am his father, no belter.
And claim bim as my own. Capt. B. We'll leave it to you, sir.
Kite. [Discovers himself] I am your cuck[Exeunt Captain Bobadii and Matthew.
old, and claim my vengeance, Brain. This is rare! Now will I go pawn
Dame K. What, do you wrong me, and this cloak of the justice's man's, at the broker's
insult me too? for a varlet's suit, and be thé varlet myself, Thou faitbless man! and so get money on all sides. [Exit. Kite. Out on thy more than strumpet's im
pudence! SCENE II. The street before Cob's House. Steal'st thou thus to thy haunts? And have
Thy bawd and thee, and thy companion, Kno. O, here it is; I have found it now.- This boary-headed letcher, this old goat, Hoa, who is within here?
Close at your villany, and wouldst thou 'scuse it [Tit appears at the Window. With this stale harlot's jest, accusing me? Tib. I am within, sir. What's your pleasure? O, old incontinent, dost thou not shame Kno. To know who is within besides yourself. To have a mind so hot, and to entice, Tib. Why, sir, you are no constable, I hope? And feed the enticement of a lustful woman?
Kno. 0, fear you the constable? Then I Dame K. Out! I defy thee, thou dissembling doubt not you have some guests within de
wretch! serve that fear. I'll fetch him straight,
Kite. Defy me, strumpet! Ask thy pander Tib. For beaven's sake, sir
here; Kno. Go to! Come, tell me, is not young Can he deny it, or that wicked elder? Koo'well here?
Kno. Why, hear you, sirTib. Young Kno'well! I know none such, Cash. Master, 'tis in vain to reason wbile sir, o'my honesty.
these passions blind you. I'm griev'd to see Kno. Your honesty, dame? It flies too lightly you thus. from you. There is no way but fetch the Kite. Tut, tut, never speak; I see through constable.
every Tih. The constable! the man is mad, I think. Veil you cast upon your treachery; but I have