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Marlow. We so laugh'd – You must know, with scarce sense enough to keep your mouth madam — this way a liule, for he must not shut, were you too joined against me? But hear us.
[They confer. Il defeat all your plots in a moment. As for Tony. [Still gazing] A damnd cramp. piece you, madam, since you have got a pair of of penmanship as ever I saw in my life. I fresh horses ready, i would be cruel to discan read your print-hand very well. But here appoint them. So, if you please, instead of there are such bandles, and shanks, and dashes, running away with your spark, prepare, this that one can scarce tell the head from the very moment, to run off with me. Your old fail
. To Anthony Lumpkin, Esq. It's very aunt Pedigree will keep you secure, I'll warodd, I can read the outside of 'my letters, rant me. You too, sir, may mount your horse, where my own name is, well enough. But and guard us upon the way. Here, Thomas, when I come to open it, it is all--buz. That's Roger, Diggory; I'll show you, that I wish bard, very bard: for the inside of the letter is you beller than you do yourselves. [Exil, always the cream of the correspondence. Miss N. So now I'm completely ruined.
Mrs. H. Ila! ha! ha! Very well, very well. Tony. Ay, that's a sure thing. And so my son was too hard for the philo-l. Miss N. "What better could be expected sopher.
from being connected with such a stupid fool, Miss N. Yes, madam; but you must hear and after all the pods and signs I made him? the rest, madam. A little more this way, or Tony. By the laws, miss, it was your own he may hear us. You'll hear how he puzzled cleverness, and not my stupidity, that did your him again.
business. You were so nice and so busy with Mrs. H. He seems strangely puzzled now your Shake-bags and Goose-greens, that I himself, methinks.
thought you could never be making believe. Tony. [Still gazing] A damn'd up and down band, as if it was disguised in liquor.
Enter Hastings, (Reading] Dear sir. Ay, that's that. Then Hast. So, sir, I find by my servant, that there's an M, and a T, and an S, but whether you have shown my lelter, and betray'd us. the next be an izzard 1) or an R, confound Was this well done, young gentleman? me, I cannot tell.
Tony. Here's another. Ask miss there who Mrs. H. What's that, my dear? Can I give betray'd you. Ecod, it was her doing, not mine. you any assistance ? Miss N. Pray, aunt, lel me read it. Nobody
Enter MARLOW, reads a cramp hand better than I. [Twitching
Mar. So, I have been finely used here among the Letter from her] Do you know who it you. Rendered contemptible, driven into illis from?
manners, despised, insulted, laugh'd at. Tony. Can't tell, except from Dick Ginger, Tony. Here's another. We shall bave old the feeder.
Bedlam broke loose presently, Miss N. Ay, so it is. [Prelending to read] Miss N. And there, sir, is the gentleman to Dear squire, hoping that you're in health, as whom we all owe erery obligation. I am ai this present. The gentlemen of the
Mar. Whal can I say to him, a mere booby, Shake-bag club bas cut the gentlemen of the an idiot, whose ignorance and age are a Goose-green quite out of feather. The odds protection. -um - old battle — um-long lighting-um- Hast. A poor contemptible booby, that would here, here, it's all about cocks, and fighting; but disgrace correction. it's of no consequence, bere, put it up, put it up. Miss N. Yet with cunning and malice enough
[Thrusting the crumpled Letter upon him. to make himself merry with our embarrassmenis.
Tony. But I tell you, miss, it's of all the Hast. An insepsible cub, consequence in the world. I would not lose Mar. Replete with tricks and mischief, the rest of it for a guinea. Here, mother, do Tony. Baw! damme, but I'll fight you both, you make it out. Or no consequence.
one aller the other with baskets. (Giving Mrs. Hardcasile the Letter. Mar. As for him, he's below resentment. Mrs. H. How's this?
[Reads. But your conduct, Mr. Hastings, requires an Dear Squire,—I'm now waiting for Miss explanation. You know of my mistakes, yet Neville, with a post chaise and pair, at the would not undeceive me. bottom of the garden; but I find my horses Hast. Tortured as I am with my own disyet unable to perform the journey. I expect appointments, is this a time for explanations? you'll assist us with a pair of fresh horses, Ti is not friendly, Mr. Marlow. as you promised. Dispatch is necessary, Mur. But, sir as the haz (ay, the hag), your mother, will Miss N. Mr. Marlow, we never kept on otherwise suspect us. Yours, Hastings. your mistake, till it was too late to undeceive Grant me patience. I shall run distracted. you. Be pacified, My rage chokes me. Miss N. I hope, madam, you'll suspend your
Enter Servant, resentment for a few moments, and not im- Sero. My mistress desires you'll get ready pute to me any impertinence, or sinister design immediately, madam. The horses are putting that belongs to another.
to, Your hat and things are in the nexl room. Mrs.H. (Courteseying very low] Fine spoken, We are to go thirty miles before morning. madam, you are most miraculously polite and
[E.xit, engaging, and quite the very pink of courtesy Miss N. I come. 0, Mr. Marlow! if you and circumspection, madam. [Changing her knew what a scene of constraint and ill nature Tone] And you, you great ill-fashioned oaf, lies before me, I'm sure it would convert your 1) An s surd, %.
resentment into pity,
Mrs. H. [Within] Miss Neville. Constance; don't think, sir, that my impudence bas been why, Constance, I say.
passed upon all the rest of the family. Miss N. I'm coming. Well
, constancy. Re- Hard." Impudence. No, I don't say thalmember, constancy is the word. [Exit
. Not quite impudence.-Girls like to be played Hast. My heart, how can I support this? with, and rumpled too sometimes. But she To be so near happiness, and such happiness! has told no tales, I assure you. Mar. (To Tony] You see now, young gen.
Mar. May I die, sir, if I evertleman, the effects of your folly. What might Hard. I tell you, she don't dislike you ; and be amusernent to you, here disappointment, as I'm sure you like ber.and even distress.
Mar. Dear sir, 1 protest, sirTony: [From a Reverie] Ecod, I have hit Hard. I see no reason why you should not it. It's here. Your bands. "Yours and yours, be joined as fast as the parson can tie you. my poor Sulky. Meet me two hours 'hence
Mar. But why won't you hear me? By all at the bottom of the garden; and if you dou'l that's just and true, I never gave miss Hardfind Tony Lumpkin a more good natur'd fel-castle the slightest mark of my attachment, low than you thought for, I'll give you leave or even the most distant bint to suspect me lo take my best horse, and Bei Bouncer into of affection. We had but une interview, and the bargain. Come along. [Ereunt. that was formal, modest, and uninteresting
Hard. This fellow's formal, modest imACT V.
pudence is beyond bearing. [Aside. Scene 1.- An old-fashioned House.
Sir C. And you never grasp'd her hand, or
made any protestations? Enter SIR CHARLES MARLOW and HARDCASTLE.
Mar. As heaven is my witness, I came down Hard. Ha! ha! ba! The peremptory tone in obedience to your commands. I saw the in which he sent forth his sublime commands. lady without emotion, and parted without re
Sir C. And the reserve with which I sup- luctance. I hope you'll exact no further proofs pose he treated all your advances,
of my duty, nor prevent me from leaving a Hard. And yet he might bave seen some- house in which I suffer so many mortifications. thing in me above a common innkeeper, too.
[Exit. Sir C. Yes, Dick, but he mistook
for Sir C. I'm astonish'd at the air of sincerity an uncommon innkeeper, ha! ha! ha!
with which he parted. Hard. Well, I'm in too good spirits to Hard. And I'm astonish'd at the deliberate think of anything but joy Yes, my dear intrepidity of his assurance. -friend, this union of our families will make our Sir C. I dare pledge my life and honour personal friendships bereditary; and thoughjupon his truth. my daughter's fortune is but small
Hard. Here comes my daughter, and I would Sir C. Why, Dick, will you talk of fortune stake my happiness upon ber veracity. to me? My son is possessed of more than a competence already, and can want nothing
Enler Miss HARDCASTLE. but a good and virtuous girl to share his hap- Kale, come hither, child. Answer me sincerely
, piness, 'aud increase it. If they like each other, and without reserve; has Mr. Marlow made as you say they do
you any professions of love and affection? Hard. If, mán. I tell you they do like each Miss H. The question is very abrupt, sir: other. My daughter as good as told me so. but since you require unreserved sincerity,
Sir C. But girls are apt to flatter them- I think he has. seles, you know.
Hard. [To Sir C.] You see. Hard. I saw him grasp her band in the Sir C. And pray, madam, have you and my warmest manner myself; and here he comes son had more than one interview? to put you out of your ifs, I warrant him. Miss H. Yes, sir, several.
Hard. [To Sir C.] You see.
Sir C. But did he profess any altachment? Mar. I come, sir, once more, to ask pardon Miss H. A lasting one, for my strange conduct. I can scarce reflect Sir C. Did he talk of love? on my insolence without confusion.
Miss H. Much, sir. Hard. Tut, boy, a trifle. You take it loo Sir C. Amazing! and all this formally? gravely. An hour or two's laughing with my Miss H. Formally. daughter will set all to rights again.
She'll Hard. Now, my friend, I hope you are never like you the worse for it.
satisfied. Mar. Sir, I shall be always proud of her Sir C. And how did he behave, madam? approbation.
Miss H. As most professed admirers do. Hard. Approbation is but a cold word, Mr. Said some civil things of my face, talked much Marlow; if I am not deceived, you have some of his want of merit, and the greatness of thing more than approbation thereabouts. You mine: mentioned his heart, gave a short tragedy
speech, and ended with pretended rapture. Mar. Really, sir, I have not that happiness. Hard. Come, boy, I'm an old fellow, and I know his conversation among women to be
Sir C. Now I'm perfecily convinced, indeed know what's what, as well as you that are modest and submissive. This forward, canting, younger. I know what has passed between ranting manner by no means describes him, you; but mum.
and I'm confident he never sat for the picture. Mar. Sure, sir, nothing has passed between Miss H. Then what, sir, if I should conus but the most profound respect on my side, vince you to your face of my sincerity? .. and the most distant reserve on her's. You you and my papa, in about half an hour, will
place yourselves behind that screen, you shall I say. After we take a knock in this part of hear bim declare his passion to me in person. the country, we shake hands and be friends.
Sir C. Agreed. And if I find him what you But if you had run ne through the guls, then describe, all my happiness in him must have I should be dead, and you might go shake an end.
[Erit. hands with the bangman. Miss H. And if you don't find him what I Hast. The rebuke is just. But I must basten describe-I fear my happiness must never have to relieve miss Neville! if you keep the old a beginning.
[Exeunt. lady employed, I promise to take care of the young one.
[Exit. SCENE II.-- The Back of the Garden.
Tony. Never sear me. Here she comes. Enter IlastingS.
Vanish! She's got into the pond, and is draggled Hast. What an idiot am I, to wait here up to the waist like a mermaid. for a fellow, who probably takes delight in mortifying me. He never intended to be punc
Enter Mrs. JARDCASTLE. tual, and I'll wait no longer. What do I see? Mrs. H. Oh, Tony, I'm kill'd! Shook! BatIt is he, and perhaps with news of my Con-tered to death! I shall never survive it. That stance.
last jolt that laid us against the quickset-hedge
has done my business. Enter Tony, booled and spattered. Tony. Aláck, mamma, it was all your own My honest squire! I now and you a man of fault
. You would be for running away by your word. This looks like friendship: night, without knowing one inch of the way.
Tony. Ay, I'm your friend, and the best Mrs. H. I wish we were at home again. friend you have in the world, if you knew I never met so many accidents in so short a but all. This riding by night, by-ihe-by, is journey. Drench'd in the mud, overturn'd in cursedly tiresome. It has shook me worse a ditch, stuck fast in a slough, jolted to a jelly, than the basket of a stage coach.
and at last to lose
Whereabouts Hast. But how? Where did you leave your do you think we are, Tony? fellow travellers ? Are they in safely? Are Tony. By my guess we should be upon they housed?
Crackskull-coinmon, about forty miles from Tony. Five and twenty miles in two hours home. and a hall
, is no such bad driving. The poor Mrs. H. O lud! O lud! the most notorious beasts bave smoked for it. Rabbit me, but I'd spot in all the country. We only want a rather ride forty miles after a fox, than ten robbery to make a complete night on't. with such varment ?).
Tony. Don't be afraid, mamma, don't be Hast. Well, but where have you left the afraid. Two of the five that kept here are ladies? I die with impatience.
hanged, and the other three may not find us. Tony. Left them!'Why, where should I Don't be afraid. Is that a man that's galloping leave them, but where I found them? behind us? No; its only a tree. Don't be Hast. This is a riddle.
afraid. Tony. Riddle me this, then. What's that Mrs. H. The fright will certainly kill me. goes round the house, and round the house, Tony. Do you see any thing like a black and never touches the house?
hal inoving behind the thicket? Hast. I'm still astray.
Mrs. H. O death! Tony. Why, that's it, mon. I have led Tony. No, it's only a cow. Don't be afraid, them astray: By jingo, there's not a pond or mamma! don't be afraid. slough within five miles of the place, but they Mrs. H. As I'm alive, Tony, I see a man can tell the taste of,
coming towards us. Ab! I'm sure on't. If he Hast. Ha! ha! ha! I understand; you took perceives us, we are undone. them in a round, while they supposed them-l' Tony. Father-in-law, by all that's unlucky, selves going forward. And so you have at come io take one of his night walks. (Asidej last brought them home again.
Ah, ils a bighwayman with pistols as long as Tony. You shall bear. I first took them my arm. damnd ill-looking fellow. down Feather-bed-lane, where we stuck fast Mrs. H. Good heaven defend us! he apin the mud. – I then ratiled them crack over proaches. the stones of Cp-and-down-hill-I then intro- Tony. Do you hide yourself in that thicket, duced them to the gibbet on leavy-tree-heath, and leave me to manage him. If there be any - and from that, with a circunbendibus, 1 danger I'll cough and cry hem. When 1 fairly lodg'd them in the horsepond at the cough be sure to keep close. bottom of the garden.
[Mrs. H. hides behind a Tree Hast. But no accident, I hope.
in the back Scene. Tony. No, no. Only mother is confoundedly frightened. She thinks herself forly miles
Enter HARDCASTLE. off. She's sick of the journey, and the cattle Hard. I'm mistaken, or I heard voices of can scarce crawl. So if your own horses be people in want of help. 0, Tony, is that you. ready, you may whip off with cousin, and I'll I did not expect you so soon back. Are your be bound that no soul here can budge a fool mother and her charge in safely? to follow you.
Tony. Very safe, sir, at my aunt PediHast. My dear friend, how can I be grateful? gree's. Hem.
Tony. Ay, now it's dear friend, noble squire. Mrs. H. [From behind] Ab, death! I find Just now, it was all idiot, cub, and run me there's danger. through the guts. Damn your way of lighting, Hard. Forty miles in three hours; sure, 1) Vermio.
that's too much, my youngster.
Tony. Stout horses and willing minds make come once more to take leave; nor did I, till short journeys, as they say: Hem.
this moment, know the pain I feel in the Mrs. H. (From behind] Sure, he'll do the separation. dear boy no harm.
Miss H. [In her own natural Manner] Hard. But I heard a voice here; I should I believe these sufferings cannot be very great, be glad to know from whence it came? sir, which you can so easily remove. A day
Tony. It was 1, sir, talking to myself, sir. or two longer, perhaps, might lessen your I was saying that forly miles in three hours uneasiness, by showing the little value of what was very good going. Hem. As to be sure you now think proper to regret.
Hem. I have got a sort of cold by Mar. This girl every moment improves upon being out in the air. We'll go in, if you me. [Aside] it must not be, madam. I have please. Hem.
already trilled too long with my heart, and Hard. But if you talked to yourself, you nothing can restore me to myself, but this did not answer yourself. I am certain I heard painful effort of resolution. two voices, and am resolved [Raising his Miss H. Then go, sir. I'll urge nothing Voice] to find the other out.
more to detain you. Though my family be Mrs. H. [Running forward from behind) as good as her's you came down to visit, and O lud, he'll murder my poor boy, my darling. my education I hope not inferior, what are Here, good gentleman, whet your rage upon these advantages without equal affluence? I me. Take my money, my life, but spare that must remain contented with the slight approyoung gentleman, spare my child, if you have bation of imputed merit; I must have only any mercy,
the mockery of your addresses, while all your Hard. My wife! as I am a Christian. From serious aims are fix'd on fortune. whence can she come, or what does she mean!
Mrs. H. [Kneeling] Take compassion on Enter HARDCASTLE and Sir CHARLES MARLou us, good Mr. Highwayman. Take our money,
from behind. our watches, all we have, but spare our lives. Mar. By heavens, madam, fortun: was ever We will never bring you to justice, indeed my smallest consideration. Your beauty at first we won't, good Mr. Highwayman.
caught my eye; for who could see that withHard. I believe the woman's out of her out emotion. But every moment tbat I consenses. What, Dorothy, don't you know me? yerse with you, steals in some new grace,
Mrs. H. Mr. Hardcastle, as I'm alive! My heightens the picture, and gives it stronger fears blinded me. But who, my dear, could expression. What at first seemed rustic plainhave expected to meet you here, in this fright- ness, now appears refined simplicity. What ful place, so far from home? - What has seemed forward assurarce, now strikes me as brought you to follow us?
the result of courageous innocence, and conHard. Sure, Dorothy, you have not lost scious virtue. I am now determined to stay your wils. So far from home, when you are madam, and I have too good an opinion of within forty yards of your own door. [To my father's discernment, when he sees you, Tony] This is one of your old tricks, you to doubt his approbation. graceless rogue you. [To Mrs. H.] Don't Miss H. Sir, I must entreat you'll desist
. you know the gate and the mulberry-tree; As our acquaintance began, so let it end, in and don't you reinember the borsepond, my indifference. I might have given an hour or dear?
two to levity, but seriously, Mr. Marlow, do Mrs. H. Yes, I sball remember the horse- you think could ever submit to a connexion pond as long as I live; ! have caught my death where I must appear mercenary, in it. [To Tony] And is it to you, you grace- imprudent? Do you think I could ever catch less varlet, I owe all this. I'll teach you to at the confident addresses of a secure admirer? abuse your mother, I will.
Mar. [Knecling] Does this look like seTony. Ecod, mother, all the parish says you curity? Does this Took like confidence? No, have spoiled me, and so you may take the madam, every moment that shows me your fruits on't.
merit, only serves to increase my diffidence Mrs. H. I'll spoil you, I will
and confusion. Here let me continue[Beats him off the Stage. Sir C. I can hold it no longer. [Coming Hard, Ha! ha! ha!
[Exit. forward] Charles, Charles, bow hast thou
deceived me. Is this your indifference, your Scene III.-A Parlour.
uninteresting conversation? Enter SIR CHARLES MARLOW and Miss HARD- Hard. Your cold contempt; your formal
interview? What have you io say now? Sir C. What a situation am I in! If what Mar. That I'm all amazement!' What can you say appears, I shall then find a guilty son. it mean? If what he says be true, I shall then lose one Hard. It means that you can say and unsay that, of all others, I most wished for a daughter. things at pleasure. That you can address :
Miss H. I am proud of your approbation, lady in private, and deny ‘it in public; that and to show I merit it, if you place your- you have one story for us, and another for selves as I directed, you shall hear his explicit my daughter. declaration. But he comes.
'Mar. Daughter!-this lady your daughter? Sir C. I'll to your father, and keep him to Hurd. Yes, sir, my only daughter, my Kale. the appointment
[Exit. Whose else should she be?
Mar. Oh, the devil.
Miss H. Yes, sir, that very identical, tall, Mar. Though prepared for setting out, I squinting lady you were pleased to take me
for. [Courtesying] She that you addressed give up my fortune to secure my choice. as the mild, modest, sentimental man of gra- But I'm now recovered from the delusion, vity, and the bold, forward, agreeable Rattle aud hope from your tenderness what is deof the ladies' club, ha! ha! ha!
nied me from a nearer connexion. Mar. Zounds! there's no bearing this. Hard. Be it what it will. I'm glad they are
Miss H. In which of your characters, sir, come back to reclaim their due. Come hither, will you give us leave to address you? As Tony, boy. Do you refuse this lady's the faltering gentleman, with looks on the band whom I now offer you ? ground, that speaks just to be heard, and hates Tony. What signifies my refusing? You hypocrisy; or the loud, confident creature, know I can't refuse her till I'mn of age, father. that keeps it up with Mrs. Mantrap, and old Hard. While I thought concealing your Mrs. Biddy Buckskin, till three in the morning, age, boy, was likely to conduce to your imba! ha! ha!
provement, I concurred with your mother's Mar. O, curse on my noisy head! I never desire to keep it secret. But since I find she attempted to be impudent yet, that I was not turns it to a wrong use, I must now declare taken down. I must be gone.
you have been of age these three months. Hard. By the band of my body, but you Tony. Of age! Am I of age, father? shall not. I see it was all a mistake, and I Hard. Above three months. am rejoiced to find it. You shall not, sir, I Tony. Then you'll sec the first tell you. I know she'll forgive you. Won't make of my liberty., [Taking Miss Neville's you forgive him, Kate? We'll all forgive you. Hand] Witness all men by these presents, Take courage, man.
that I, Anthony Lumpkin, esquire, of Blank[They retire, she tormenting him, place, refuse you, Constantia Neville, spinster, to the back Scene.
of no place at all, for my true and lawful
wife. So, Constantia Neville may marry whom Enter Mrs. HARDCASTLE and TUNY.
she pleases, and Tony Lumpkin is his own Mrs. H. So, so, they're gone off. Let them man again. go, I care not.
Sir C. O brave squire ! Hard. Who's gone?
Hast. My worthy friend! Mrs. H. My dutiful niece and her gentle- Mrs. H. My undutiful offspring! man, Mr. Hastings, from town; he who came Mar. Joy, my dear George, I give you down with our modest visitor here.
joy sincerely. And could I prevail upon my Sir C. Who, my honest George Hastings. little tyrant here to be less arbitrary, I should As worthy a fellow as lives, and the girl could be the happiest man alive, if you would renot have made a more prudent choice. turn me the favour.
Hard. Then by the hand of my body, I'm Hast. [To Miss Hardcastle] Come, maproud of the connexion.
dam, you are now driven to the very last
scene of all your contrivances. I know you Enter Jlastings and Miss Neville.
like him, I'm sure he loves you, and you must Mrs. H. What, returned so soon, I begin and shall have him. not to like it.
Aside. Hard. [Joining their Hands] And I say Hast. (To Hardcastle] For my fate at- so And Mr. Marlow, if she makes as tempt to fly off with your niece, let my pre- good a wife as she has a daughter, I don't sent confusion be my punishment. We are believe you'll ever repent your bargain. So now come back, to appeal from your justice now to supper. To-morrow we shall gather to your humanity. By her father's consent I all the poor of the parish about us, and the firsi paid her my addresses, and our passions mistakes of the night shall be crowned with were first founded in duty.
a merry morning; so, boy, take her: and as Miss N. Since his death, I have been obliged you have been mistaken in the mistress, my to stoop to dissimulation to avoid oppression. wish is, that you may never be mistaken in In an hour of levity, I was ready even tolthe wifc.
BENJAMIN JONSON, one of the most considerable dramatic poets of the seventeeath century, whether we consider the number or the merit of his productions, was born at Westminster June 11, 1574, and was educated at the public school there, under the great Camden. He was descended from a Scots family; and his father, who lost his estate under Queen Mary, dying before our poel was born, and his mother marrying a bricklayer for her second husband, Ben was taken from school to work at bis father-in-laws trade. Not being captivated with this employment, he went into the Low Countries, and distinguished bimself in a military capacity. On his return to England he entered himself at St. John's College, Cambridge ; bat how long he continued there we are not informed. On his quitting the university he applied to the stage for a maintenance, and became a member of an obscure company, which performed at the Curtain in Shoreditch. At the same time he turned his thoughts to composition; but is generally supposed to have been unsuccessful in his first allempts. His performances as an actor met with little more applause; and, !o complete his misery, he had the misfortune in a dnel to kill his opponent, for which he was commited to prison; but how long he remained there, or by what methods he obtained his liberty, we have no account. It was, however, while in custody for this offence that he was made a convert to the church of Rome, in whose communion he steadily persisted for twelve years. It is snpposed, that about this time he became acquainted with Slakspeare; who, according to tradition, assisted him in some of his dramatic attempts, and considerably promoted his interest, though he could not by means of it secure himself from the virulence of our author's pen. For many years from this period Ben produced some piece annually; for the