can help ill luck? for it happens at this time, I'm inform'd an impudent young rascal has d'ye see, that it won't do. Don P. Won't do, sir? Don M. Nay, if you won't understand me now, here comes an honest fellow now, that will speak you point blank to the matter. Enter TRAPPANTI. Come hither, friend: dost thou know this gentleman? Trap. Bless me, sir, is it you? Sir, this is my old master I lived with at Seville. Don P. I remember thee: thy name's Trappanti; thou wert my servant when I first went to travel. Trap. Ay, sir, and about twenty months after you came home too. picked it out of some writings in the port- [Apart. Don M. Well said, my little champion. Don P. Now, in my opinion, child, that might as well put thee in mind of thy own condition; for suppose thy wit and impudence should so far succeed, as to let thee ruin this Don P. You see, sir, this fellow knows me. gentleman's family, by really marrying his Don M. O! I never questioned it in the daughter, thou canst not but know 'tis imposleast, sir.-Pr'ythee what's this worthy gentle- sible thou shouldst enjoy her long; a very man's name, friend? few days must unavoidably discover thee; in Trap. Sir, your honour has heard me talk the mean time, if thou wilt spare me the of him a thousand times; his name, sir, his trouble of exposing thee, and generously conname's Guzman; his father, sir, old don Guz-fess thy roguery, thus far I'll forgive thee; man, is the most eminent lawyer in Seville; but if thou still proceedest upon his credulity was the very person that drew up the settle- to a marriage with the lady, don't flatter thyment and articles of my master's marriage self that all her fortune shall buy off my eviwith your honour's daughter: this gentleman dence; for I'm bound in honour, as well as knows all the particulars as well as if he had law, to hang thee for the robbery. drawn 'em up himself. But, sir, I hope there's no mistake in 'em that may defer the marriage? Don P. Confusion! Don M. Now, sir, what sort of answer d'ye think fit to make me? Hyp. Sir, you are extremely kind. Hyp. But mayn't I presume, my dear friend, this wheedle was offer'd as a trial of this gentleman's credulity? Ha, ha, ha! Don P. Now, sir, I'm obliged in honour Don M. Indeed, my friend, 'tis a very not to leave your house, till I at least have shallow one. Canst thou think I'm such a seen the villain that calls himself don Philip, sot as to believe, that if he knew 'twere in that has robb'd me; and would you, sir, of thy power to hang him, he would not have your honour, and your daughter.—As for this run away at the first sight of thee? rascalTrap. Ay, sir, he must be a dull rogue Trap. Sir, I demand protection. indeed that would not run away from a halter, [Runs behind Don Manuel. Ha, ha, ha! [All laugh. Don M. Hold, sir, since you are so brisk, Don P. Sir, I ask your pardon: I begin and in my own house too, call your master, now to be a little sensible of my folly-1 friend; you'll find we have swords within can perceive this gentleman has done his business match you. with you effectually however, sir, the duty Trap. Ay, sir, I may chance to send you I owe my father obliges me not to leave your one will take down your courage. [Exit. cause, though I leave your house immediately; Don P. I ask your pardon, sir, I must con- when you see me next, you'll know don Phifess, the villany I saw designed against my lip from a rascal. : father's friend had transported me beyond good Don M. Ah! 'twill be the same thing, if I manners: but be assured, sir, use me hence- know a rascal from don Philip: but if you forward as you please, I will detect it, though please, sir, never give yourself any further I lose my life. Nothing shall affront me now, trouble in this business; for what you have till I have proved myself your friend indeed, done, d'ye see, is so far from interrupting my and don Fernando's son. daughter's marriage, that, with this gentleDon M. Nay, lookye, sir, I will be very man's leave, I'm resolved to finish it this very civil too-I won't say a word-you shall e'en hour; so that when you see your friend the squabble it out by yourselves: not but at the politician, you must tell him you had cursed same time thou art to me the merriest fellow luck, that's all. Ha, ha, ha! that ever I saw in my life. Flora. Is this the gentleman, sir? Don P. Very well, sir; I may have better when I see you next. Hyp. Lookye, sir, since your undertaking (though you design'd it otherwise) has promoted my happiness, thus far I pass it by, though I question if a man, that stoops to do such base injuries, dares defend 'em with his sword. However, now at least you're warn'd; but be assured your next attempt Don P. Will startle you, my spark: I'm Don P. Yes, sir, I'm the man, who but afraid you'll be a little humbler when you are this morning lost that name upon the road. hand-cufi'd. Though you won't take my word up, sir. against him, sir, perhaps another magistrate | Trap. Sir, I will, and a great deal more: may my oath; which, because I see his mar- but pray, sir, give me leave to recover my riage is in haste, I am obliged to make im- courage — I protest the keen looks of that mediately: if he can out-face the law too, I instrument have quite frighted it away, Pray shall be content to be the coxcomb then you put think me. [Exit. Don P. Nay, to let thee see I had rather Don M. Ah, poor fellow! he's resolved to be thy friend than enemy, I'll bribe thee to carry it off with a good face, however. Ha, ha! be honest: discharge thy conscience like a Trap. Ay, sir, that's all he has for't indeed. man, and I'll engage to make these five, ten Hyp. Trappanti, follow him, and do as I pieces. directed. [Apart to Trappanti. Exit. Trap. I warrant ye, sir. Don M. Ha! my little champion, let me kiss thee; thou hast carried the day like a hero! man nor woman, nothing can stand before thee. I'll make thee monarch of my daughter immediately. Hyp. That's the Indies, sir. Don M. Well said, my lad-Oh, my heart's going to dance again-Pr'ythee let's in before it gets the better of me, and give the bride an account of thy victory [Exeunt. I Enter a Servant. Trap. Sir, your business will be done effectually. Don P. Here, friend! will ye tell your master desire to speak with him? [Exit Servant. Oct. Don Philip! Don P. Octavio! This is fortunate indeedthe only place in the world I would have wish'd to have found you in. Oct. What's the matter? Don P. You'll see presently-but pr'ythee how stands your affair with your mistress? Enter OCTAVIO, with a Letter. Oct. The devil take me if I can tell ye-1 Oct. Rosara false! distraction! Sure this letter don't know what to make of her; about an must be but artifice, a humour, to try how hour ago she was for scaling walls to come far my love can bear-and yet methinks she at me, and this minute-whip, she's going to can't but know the impudence of my young marry the stranger I told you of; nay, conrival, and her father's importunity, are too fesses too, it is with her own consent; and pressing to allow her any time to fool away: yet begs by all means to see me as soon as and if she were really false, she could not her wedding's over.-Isn't it very pretty? take a pride in confessing it. Death! I know not what to think; the sex is all a riddle, and we are the fools that crack our brains to expound it. Enter VILETTA. Fil. Sir, she says, in short, she can't possibly speak with you now, for she's just going to be married. Oct. Death! daggers! blood! confusion! and ten thousand furies! Fil. Hey-day! what's all this for ? Oct. My brains are turn'd, Viletta. Vil. Ay, by my troth, so one would think, if one could but believe you had any at all; if you have three grains, I'm sure you can't but know her compliance with this match must give her a little liberty; and can you suppose she'd desire to see you an hour hence, if she did not design to make use of it? Oct. Don't flatter me, Viletta. Fil. Faith, sir, Ill be very plain, you are to me the dullest person ever saw in my life; but if you have a mind, I'll tell her you won't come. Re-enter a Servant. Don P. Something gay indeed. Serv. Sir, my master will wait on you presently. [Exit. Oct. But the plague on't is, my love cannot bear this jesting. - Well now, how stands your affair? Have you seen your mistress yet? Don P. No; I can't get admittance to her Oct. How so? Don P. When I came to pay my duty here to the old gentleman Oct. Here! Don P. Ay, I found an impudent young rascal here before me, that had taken my name upon him, robb'd me of my portmanteau, and by virtue of some papers there, knew all my concerns to a tittle; he has told a plausible tale to her father, faced him down that I'm an impostor, and if I don't this minute prevent him, is going to marry the lady. Oct. Death and hell! [Aside] What sort of fellow was this rascal? Don P. A little pert coxcomb; by his impudence and dress, I guess him to be some French page. Oct. Confusion! my friend at last my rival too-Yet hold! my rival is my friend, he owns he has not seen her yet- [Aside. Don P. You seem concern'd. Oct. Undone for ever, unless dear Philip's you; | still Oct. No, don't say so, Viletta. Vil. Then pray, sir, do as she bids don't stay here to spoil your own sport: you'll have the old gentleman come thundering down my Oct. Let me conjure ye, by all the ties of upon ye by-and-by, and then we shall have honour, friendship, and pity, never to attempt. ye at your ten thousand furies again-hist! her more! here's company! good bye t'ye. [Exit. Don P. You amaze me! Re-enter DON PHILIP, with his Sword drawn, and TRAPPANTI. Don P. Come, sir, there's no retreating now; this you must justify. Oct. 'Tis the same dear creature I so passionately dote on. Don P. Is't possible? Nay then, be easy in thy thoughts, Octavio; and now I dare con fess the folly of my own: I'm not sorry thou'rt stand a little fairer for you; all I beg is but my rival here. In spite of all my weak philo-your patient hearing. sophy, I must own the secret wishes of my Don M. Well, sir, you shall have it—Here soul are still Hypolita's. I know not why, he comes, bring him to trial as soon as you but I can't help thinking that my fortune still please. resolves, spite of her cruelty, to make me one day happy. Oct. Quit but Rosara, I'll engage she shall be yours. Don P. Not only that, but will assist you with my life to gain her: I shall easily excuse myself to my father for not marrying the mistress of my dearest friend. Re-enter FLORA and HYPOLITA. Flora. So Trappanti has succeeded, he's come without the officers. [Apart to Hypolita. Hyp. Hearing, sir, you were below, I didn't care to disturb the family by putting the of ficers to the trouble of a needless search; let me see your warrant, I'm ready to obey it. Don M. Ay, where's your officer? Flora. I thought to have seen him march Oct. Dear Philip, let me embrace ye.-But how shall we manage the rascal of an impostor? Suppose you run immediately, and in state, with an alguazil before him. swear the robbery against him? Don P. I was afraid, sir, upon second Don P. I was just going about it, but my thoughts, your business would not stay for a accidental meeting with this fellow has luckily warrant, though 'tis possible I may provide prevented me; who, you must know, has been for you, for I think this gentleman's a machief engineer in the contrivance against me; gistrate: in the mean time-O! here, I have but between threats, bribes, and promises, prevailed with an alguazil to wait upon ye. has confessed the whole roguery, and is now ready to swear it against him: so, because I understand the spark is very near his marriage, I thought this would be the best and soonest way to detect him. Oct. That's right! the least delay might have lost all; besides, I am here to strengthen his evidence, for I can swear that you are the true don Philip. Don P. Right! Enter Alguazil. Alg. Did you send for me, sir? Don P. Ay, secure that gentleman. Don M. Hold! hold! sir, all things in order: this gentleman is yet my guest; let me be first acquainted with his crime, and then I shall better know how he deserves to be treated; and that we may have no hard words upon one another, if you please, sir, let me first Trap. Sir, with humble submission, that talk with you in private. [They whisper. will be quite wrong? Oct. Why so? Hyp. Undone! that fool Trappanti, or that villain, I know not which, has at least mistaken or betray'd me! Ruin'd, past redemption! [Apart to Flora. Trap. Because, sir, the old gentleman is substantially convinced that 'tis you who have put don Philip upon laying his pretended claim Flora. Death! what d'ye mean? that hanging to his daughter, purely to defer the marriage, look were enough to confirm a suspicion; bear that in the mean time you might get an op-up, for shame. [Apart. portunity to run away with her; for which Hyp. Impossible! I am dash'd, confounded; reason, sir, you'll find your evidence will but if thou hast any courage left, show it quickly; fly in your face, and hasten the match with go speak before my fears betray me. [Apart. your rival. Don M. If you can make this appear by any witness, sir, I confess 'twill surprise me indeed. Don P. Ha! there's reason in that; all your endeavours will but confirm his jealousy of me. Oct. What would you have me do? Trap. Don't appear at the trial, sir. Don P. By no means; ra her wait a little in the street be within call and leave the management to me. Oct. Be careful, dear Philip. Don P. I always used to be more fortunate in serving my friend than myself. Oct. But hark ye! here lives an alguazil at Don P. Stand aside till I call for you. Re-enter DON MANUEL. Don M. Well, sir! what service have you to command me now, pray? Don P. Now, sir, I hope my credit will Flora, Ay, sir, if you have any witnesses, we desire you'd produce 'em. Don P. Sir, I have a witness at your service, and a substantial one. Hey! Trappanti! Re-enter TRAPPANTI. Now, sir, what think ye? Hyp. Ha! the rogue winks-Then there's life again. [Aside] Is this your witness, sir? Don P. Yes, sir, this poor fellow at last, it seems, happens to be honest enough to confess himself a rogue, and your accomplice. Hyp. Ha, ha! Don P. Ha, ha! You are very merry, sir. Don M. Nay, there's a jest between ye, that's certain-But come, friend, what say you to the business? Have ye any proof to offer upon oath, that this gentleman is the true don Philip, and consequently this other an impostor? Don P. Speak boldly. Trap. Ay, sir, but shall I come to no harm if I do speak? Don M. Let it be the truth, and I'll protect thee. Trap. Are you sure I shall be safe, sir? Don M. I'll give thee my word of honour; speak boldly to the question. Trap. Well, sir, since I must speak, then Trap. O lud! O lud! sir, as I hope to die in the first place, I desire your honour will in my bed, these are the very words, he be pleased to command the officer to secure threaten'd to stab me if I wouldn't swear against that gentleman. my master-I told him at first, sir, I was not fit for his business; I was never good at a lie in my life. Don M. How, friend? Don P. Secure me, rascal? Trap. Sir, if I can't be protected, I shall never be able to speak. Don M. I warrant thee-What is it you say, friend? Alg. Nay, sir, I saw this gentleman's sword Trap. Sir, as I was just now crossing the street, this gentleman, with a sneer in his face, Don M. Really, my friend, thou'rt almost takes me by the hand, claps five pistoles in turn'd fool in this business. If thou hadst my palm (here they are), shuts my fist close prevail'd upon this wretch to perjure himself, upon 'em; "My dear friend," says he, "you couldst thou think I should not have detected must do me a piece of service:" upon which, him? You may go, friend. sir, I bows me him to the ground, and desired him to open his case. Don P. What means the rascal? Don M. Sir, I am as much amazed as you; but pray let's hear him, that we may know his meaning. Flora. Ha, ha! [Exit Alguazil. Don P. Sir, you're imposed on: defer the marriage but an hour. Don M. Ay, and in half that time, I suppose, you are in hopes to defer it altogether. Don P. Perdition seize me, if I have any hope or thought but that of serving you. Don M. Nay, now thou art a downright - Dost thou expect I should take thy bare word, when here were two honest fellows that have just proved thee in a lie to thy face? Trap. So, sir, upon this he runs me over a long story of a sham and a flam1) he had just contrived, he said, to defer my master's distracted man. marriage only for two days. Don P. Confusion! Flora. Nay, pray, sir, let's hear the evidence. Trap. Upon the close of the matter, sir, I found at last by his eloquence, that the whole business depended upon my bearing a little false witness against my master. Hyp. O ho! Enter Servant. Don M. Is he so? Then, sir, if you please, since you see you can do me no further serTrap. Upon this, sir, I began to demur:vice, I believe it may be time for you to go. "Sir," says I, "this business will never hold-Come, son, now let's wait upon the bride, water; don't let me undertake it, I must beg and put an end to this gentleman's trouble your pardon;" gave him the negative shrug, and was for sneaking off with the fees in my * pocket. Don M. Very well! Don P. Villain! altogether. [Exit. Hyp. Sir, I'll wait on ye. Don P. Confusion! I've undone my friend. [Walks about. Flora. Trappanti! rogue, this was a masterpiece. [Apart. Trap. Sir, I believe it won't be mended in haste. [Apart. Exeunt Flora and Trappanti. 66 Now, Hyp. Sir! Flora. Hyp. Ha, ha, ha! Trap. Upon this, sir, he catches me fast hold by the collar, whips out his poker, claps it within half an inch of my guts: dog," says he, "you shall do it, or within two hours rot upon the dunghill you came from." Don P. Sir, if there be any faith in mortal man Don M. Nay, nay, one at a time; you shall be heard presently. Go on friend. Don P. Ha! alone! if we're not prevented now-[Aside] Well, sir Hyp. I suppose you don't think the favours you have design'd me are to be put without satisfaction; therefore I shall expect to see you early to-morrow, near the Prado, with your [To Trappanti. sword in your hand in the mean time, sir, Trap. Having me at this advantage, sir, I'm a little more in haste to be the lady's began to think my wit would do me more humble servant than yours. Hyp. Sir! [Going. service than my courage; so prudently pre- Don P. Hold, sir!-you and I can't part tended out of fear to comply with his threats, upon such easy terms. and swallow the perjury: but now, sir, being under protection and at liberty of conscience, I have honesty enough, you see, to tell you the whole truth of the matter. Don M. Ay, this is evidence indeed! Don P. You're not so near the lady, sir, perhaps, as you imagine. [Locks the Door. Hyp. What d'ye mean? Don P. Speak softly. Hyp. Ha! Don P. Come, sir-draw! Hyp. My ruin now has caught me; this was the very spite of fortune. Aside. Don P. Dog! Villain! Did not you confess to me that this gentleman picked you up, not three hours ago, at the same inn where I alighted? that he had own'd his stealing my Don P. Come, sir, my time's but short. portmanteau at Toledo? that if he succeeded Hyp. And mine's too precious to be lost to marry the lady, you were to have a con- on any thing but love; besides, this is no prosiderable sum for your pains, and these two were to share the rest of her fortune between them? 1) To pop a sham, or a flam, slang for, to deceive. per place. To-morrow, sir, I shall find a better. Don P. No, now, sir, if you please-Draw, villain, or expect such usage as I am sure don Philip would not bear. Hyp. A lover, sir, may bear any thing to make sure of his mistress-You know it is not fear that Ros. Truly, I began to be afraid I should lose my little husband. [Apart. Hyp. Husband, quotha! Get me but once Don P. No evasion, sir; either this moment safe out of these breeches, if ever I wear 'em confess your villainy, your name, and fortune, againor expect no mercy. Hyp. Nay then-Within there! Don P. Move but a step, or dare to raise thy voice beyond a whisper, and this minute is thy last. [Seizes her, and holds a Sword you. ACT V. [Apart, Exeunt. SCENE I.-The same. Enter TRAPEANTI. Trap. What, in the name of roguery, can to her Breast. Hyp. Sir! [Trembling. this new master of mine be? He's either a Don P. Villain! be quick, confess, or- fool or bewitch'd, that's positive. First, he Hyp. Hold, sir-I own I dare not fight with gives me fifty pieces for helping him to marry the lady; and soon as the wedding is over, Don P. No, I see thou art too poor a vil- claps me twenty more into the other hand, to lain-therefore be speedy, as thou hopest I'll help him to get rid of her. - Nay, not only spare thy life. that, but gives me a strict charge to observe Hyp. Nay then, sir-Mercy! mercy! [Throws his directions, in being evidence against him herself at his Feet] And, since I must con- as an impostor, to refund all the lies I have fess, have pity on my youth, have pity on my told in his service, to sweep him clear out of love! my conscience, and now to swear the robbery Don P. Thy love! What art thou? Speak. against him! What the bottom of this can be, Hyp. Unless your generous compassion I must confess, does a little puzzle my wit.spares me, sure the most wretched youth that There's but one way in the world I can solve ever felt the pangs and torments of a success-it.He must certainly have some secret reason less passion. to hang himself, that he's ashamed to own, Don P. Nay, then I must forgive thee. [Raises and so was resolved first to be married, that her] For I have known too well the misery his friends might not wonder at the occasion. not to pity-any thing in love. Yet hold-But here he comes, with his noose in his hand. nor flatter thy fond hopes too far: you must defer your marriage with this lady. Hyp. Sir, on my knees. Don P. Expect no more from me; either comply this moment, or my sword shall force thee. Hyp. Consider, sir Enter HYPOLITA and ROSARA. Hyp. Trappanti, go to don Pedro, he has business with you. Trap. Yes, sir. Ros. Who's don Pedro pray? [Exit. Hyp. Flora, madam; he knows her yet by Don P. Nay then, discover quick! Tell me no other name. Where's your father, madam? thy name and family. Hyp. Hold, sir Don P. Speak, or thou diest. Hyp. Sir, I will-[A Noise at the Door] Ha! they are entering-O! for a moment's courage! Come on, sir. [Breaks from him and draws, retiring till Don Manuel, Flora, Trappanti, and Servants rush in and part them. Don M. Knock him down! Force him out of the room there; call an officer; in the mean time, secure him in the cellar. Ros. I saw him go towards his closet; I believe he's gone to fetch you part of my fortune-he seem'd in mighty good humour. Hyp. We must be sure to keep it up as high as we can, that he may be the more stunn'd when he falls. Ros. With all my heart; methinks I am possess'd with the very spirit of disobedience Now could I, in the humour I am in, consent to any mischief that would but heartily plague my old gentleman. Enter DoN MANUEL. Don P. Hear me but one word, sir! Don M. Stop his mouth-out with him. [They Don M. Ah, my little conqueror! let me hurry him off] Come, dear son, be pacified. embrace thee-That ever I should live to see Hyp. A villain! [Walks in a Heat. this day! this most triumphant day, this day Flora. Why should he be concern'd, now of all days in my life! he's secure? Such a rascal would but contaminate the sword of a man of honour. Hyp. I am sorry, sir, such a fellow should have it in his power to disturb me-but Enter ROSARA. Hyp. Ay, and of my life too, sir. [Embraces him. Don M. Ay, my cares are over-Now I've nothing to do but to think of the other world; for I've done all my business in this: got as many children as I could; and now I'm grown Don M. Look! here's my daughter in a fright old, have set a young couple to work. Look to seek for you. Hyp. Then I'm composed again. [Runs to Rosara. Ros. I heard fighting here! I hope you are not wounded, sir? Hyp. I have no wound but what the priest can heal. Don M. Ah! well said, my little champion! Hyp. Oh, madam! I have such a terrible escape to tell you! you here, children, I have brought you some baubles that will make you merry as long as you live; twelve thousand pistoles are the least value of 'em; and the rest of your fortune shall be paid in the best Barbary gold to-morrow morning. Hyp. Ay, sir, this is speaking like a father! this is encouragement indeed! Don M. Much good may do thy heart and [Apart to Rosara. soul with 'em-and heaven bless you together |