Gen. Why, hast thou any hope? Wife. Yes, sir, I have. Gen. Make it appear to me. Wife. I hope I never bargain'd for that fire, (If you look on me with charitable eyes) Gen. May I presume 't? Wife. I kneel to both your mercies. A witch is? Wife. Alas, none better; Or after mature recollection can be Gen. Tell me, are those tears Wife. Sir, they are. Gen. Rise; and, as I do you, so heaven pardon me ; We all offend, but from such falling off Defend us! Well, I do remember, wife, When I first took thee, 'twas for good and bad: As may have power to quench invisible flames; Frank Hospitality, Gentlemen, welcome; 'tis a word I use; Being set to meat, that I'll excuse your fare, Or say, I am sorry And, had I known your coming, we'd have had Compare this with a story in the Arabian Nights, where a man discovers his wife to be a goul. A FAIR QUARREL: A COMEDY. BY THOMAS MIDDLETON AND WILLIAM ROWLEY. Captain Ager in a dispute with a Colonel his friend, receives from the Colonel the appellation of Son of a Whore. A challenge is given and accepted: but the Captain, before he goes to the field, is willing to be confirmed of his mother's honor from her own lips. Lady Ager, being questioned by her Son, to prevent a duel, falsely slanders herself of unchastity. The Captain, thinking that he has a bad cause, refuses to fight. But being reproached by the Colonel with cowardice, he esteems that he has now a sufficient cause for a quarrel, in the vindicating of his honor from that aspersion; and draws, and disarms his opponent. La. Where left you your dear friend the Colonel? Cap. Oh the dear Colonel, I should meet him soon. La. Oh fail him not then, he's a Gentleman The fame and reputation of your time Is much engag'd to. Cap. Yes, and you knew all, mother. La. I thought I'd known so much of his fair goodness, More could not have been look'd for. Cap. O yes, yes, Madam: And this his last exceeded all the rest. La. For gratitude's sake let me know this I prithee. Cap. Then thus; and I desire your censure freely, Whether it appear'd not a strange noble kindness in him. La. Trust me, I long to hear't. Cap. You know he's hasty; That by the way. La. So are the best conditions: Your father was the like. Cap. I begin now To doubt me more: why am not I so too then? La. Well, as you were saying, Sir. There was in company a foul-mouth'd villain Who should I liken him to that you have seen? (aside.) He comes so near one that I would not match him with, Faith, just o' the Colonel's pitch: he's ne'er the worse man; Usurers have been compar'd to magistrates, Extortioners to lawyers, and the like, But they all prove ne'er the worse men for that. Cap. This rude fellow, A shame to all humanity and manners, Breathes from the rottenness of his gall and malice, La. Mine, my honor, Sir? Cap. The Colonel soon enrag'd (as he's all touchwood) Takes fire before me, makes the quarrel his, Appoints the field; my wrath could not be heard, His was so high pitcht, so gloriously mounted. A cause that were unjust in our defence, In that dark depth where all bad quarrels sink Never to rise again, what pity 'twere, First to die here, and never to die there! La. Why what's the quarrel, speak, Sir, that should rise Such fearful doubt, my honor bearing part on't? The words, whate'er they were Cap. Son of a whore. La. Thou liest : And were my love ten thousand times more to thee, Not one stand up to tell this man his error? Cap. Now blessings crown you for 't; It is the joyfull'st blow that e'er flesh felt. La. Nay, stay, stay, Sir; thou art not left so soon: This is no question to be slighted off, And at your pleasure closed up fair again, As though you'd never touch'd it, no; honor doubted, More than a common smart, being of thy making. known me A widow, only married to my vow; That's no small witness of my faith and love |