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ported with the thought of such an amour, that I
led her from one room to another with all the olintries I could invent; and at length brought ings to so happy an issue, that she gave me a orite meetingthe next day, without page or foot. nun, coach or equipage. My heart danced in rotures; but I had not lived in this golden dream ...ethree days, before I found good reason to is that I had continued true to my laundress. I the since heard, by a very great accident, that this reby does not live far from Covent Garden, ...that I am not the first cully whom she has ised herself upon for a countess. Thus, sir, you see how I have mistaken a cloud for; Juno; and if you can make any use of this arenture, for the benefit of those who may pos. so be as vain young coxcombs as myself, I do siltartily give you leave. * I am, SIR, ‘Your most humble admirer, * B. L.”
To j. with bear, you'll find in leagues ive and defensive join'd.
TATE. *is said to be a sociable animal, and as an inroofit, we may observe, that we take all ocwns and pretences of forming ourselves into estle nocturnal assemblies, which are comknown by the name of clubs. When a set on find themselves agree in any particular, sh never so trivial, they establish themselves kind of fraternity, and meet once or twice ck, upon the account of such a fantastic re"lice, I know a considerable market-town, oth there was a club of fat men, that did not ogether (as you may well suppose) to enterit another with sprightliness and wit, but to one another in countenance. The room where somet was something of the largest, and had orances, the one by a door of a moderate of the other by a pair of folding-doors. If oate for this corpulent club could make his to through the first, he was looked upon as fied; but if he stuck in the passage, and hot force his way through it, the foldingwere immediately thrown open for his reh and he was saluted as a brother. I have|]
at this club, though it consisted but of the buffoon, can all of them bear a part. Kit-Cat itself” is said to have taken its original
Persons, weighed above three ton. Position to this society, there sprung up anooposed of scarecrows and skeletons, who,
town should be annually chosen out of the two clubs; by which means the principal magistrates . at this day coupled like rabbits, one fat and one tran. Every one has heard of the club, or rather the confederacy of the Kings. This grand alliance was formed a little after the return of King Charles the Second, and admitted into it men of all qualities and professions, provided they agreed in the surname of King, which, as they imagined, sufficiently declared the owners of it to be altogether untainted with republican and anti-monarchical principles A christian name has likewise been often used as a badge of distinction, and made the occasion of a club. That of the Georges, which used to meet at the sign of the George, on St. George’s day, and swear ‘Before George,” is still fresh in every one's memory. There are at present in several parts of this city what they call Street-clubs, in which the chief inhabitants of the street converse together every night. I remember, upon my inquiring after lodgings in Ormond-street, the landlord, to recommend that quarter of the town, told me there was at that time a very good club in it; he also told me, upon further discourse with him, that two or three noisy country squires, who were settled there the year before, had considerably sunk the price of house-rent; and that the club (to prevent the like inconveniences for the future) had thoughts of taking every house that became vacant into their own hands, till they had found a tenant for it, of a sociable nature and good conversation. The Hum Drum club, of which I was formerly an unworthy member, was made up of very honest gentlemen of peaceable dispositions, that used to sit together, smoke their pipes, and say nothing till midnight. The Mum club (as I am informed) is an institution of the same nature, and as great an enemy to noise. After these two innocent societies, I cannot forbear mentioning a very mischievous one, that was
erected in the reign of King Charles the Second ;
to the number of There was likewise a side table, for
eating and drinking, which are points wherein
oy meagre and envious, did all they could statesmen among the whigs, met in shire lane of wo.
n the designs of their bulky brethren, ty represented as men of dangerous prinoil at length they worked them out of the the people, and consequently out of the *Y. These factions tore the corporation or several years, till at length they came ommodation; that the two bailiffs of the
Our modern celebrated clubs are founded upon
iterate, the dull and the airy, the philosopher and The
* This club, consisting of the most distinguished wits and
* See No. 1,
named from a pastry-cook (Christopher Cat), who was ta-
The portraits of its members,
From Mr. Tonson's, they have since . Woham Baker, In order to adapt them to the height of the club,
one arm : and
pictures of that to have sinco called Kio.
from a mutton-pie. The Beef. Steak," and Octo. bers clubs, are neither of them averse to eating and drinking, if we may form a judgment of them N° 10, MONDAY, MARCH 12, 1710-11 from their respective titles. x >
When men are thus knit together, by a love of ,
society, not a spirit of faction, and do not meet to Non aliter quam qui adversa vir flumine lenbum censure or annoy those that are absent, but to en- *on joy one another; when they are thus combined tyue illum in prareps prono rapit *"...ir. 201, for their own improvement, or for the good of so the bone, browny crew the current stem
others, or at least to relax themselves from the bu- And slow advancing, struggle with the tom: siness of the day, by an innocent and cheerful con- Hot if they slack their hands, or cease to strive, . versation, there inay be something very useful in Then down the flood with headlong haste "ßs
these little institutions and establishments.
I cannot forbear concluding this paper with a It is with much satisfaction that I hear this great scheme of laws that I met with upon a wall in a city inquiring day by day after these my papers, little alehouse. How I came thither I may in- and receiving my morning lectures with a becom. form my reader at a more convenient time. These ling seriousness and attention. My publisher tells laws were enacted by a knot of artisans and me- me, that there are already three thousand of them chanics, who used to meet every night; and as distributed every day: so that if I allow twenty there is something in them which gives us a pretty readers to every paper, which I look upon as a
picture of low life, I shall transcribe them word|modest computation, I may reckon about threefor word: - score thousand disciples in London and Westmin- - - - - - - - hemIrules to be observed in the Two-penny club, erected in ...'.oFo this place.for the preservation affriendship and $994, and inattentive brethren, since I have rised to
neighbourhood. myseli so great an audience, I shall spare no pain: I. Every member at his first coming in shall lay to make their instruction agreeable, and their didown his two-pence. version useful. For which reasons I shall endca
II. Every member shall fill his pipe out of his vour to enliven morality with wit, and to . own box. wit with morality, that my readers may, if possible.
III. If any member absents himself, he shall both ways find their account in the speculation of forfeit a penny for the use of the club, unless in the day. And to the end that their virtue and
case of sickness or imprisonment. discretion may not be short, transient, intermitting IV. If any member swears or curses, his neigh-starts of thought, I have resolved to refresh their bour may give him a kick upon the shins. memories from day to day, till I have recovered
V. If any member tells stories in the club that them out of that desperate state of vice and folly, are not true, he shall forfeit for every third lie an into which the age is fallen. The mind that lies
Malfpenny. fallow but a single day, sprouts up in follies that Vi. If any member strikes another wrongfully, are only to be killed by a constant and assiduous he shall pay his club for him. culture. It was said of Socrates, that he brought
VII. If any member brings his wife into the philosophy down from heaven, to inhabit among club, he shall pay for whatever she drinks or inen; and I shall be ambitious to have it said of smokes. me, that I have brought philosophy out of closets VIII. If any member's wife comes to fetch him and libraries, schools and collégés, to dwell in home from the club, she shall speak to him with- clubs and assemblies, at tea-tables, and in coffeeout the door. - houses. IX. If any member calls another a cuckold, he i would therefore in a very particular manner shall be turned out of the club. recommend these my speculations to all well-reX. None shall be admitted into the club that is gulated families, that set apart an hour in every of the same trade with any member of it. inorning for tea and bread and butter; and would XI. None of the club shall have his clothes or earnestly advise them for their good to order this shoes made or mended, but by a brother member, paper to be punctually served up, and to be lookXII. No non-juror shall be capable of being a |ed upon as a part of the tea equipage. member. Sir Francis Bacon observes, that a well-written - - -- - book, compared with its rivals and antagonists, * The morality of this little . is guarded by like si. serpent, that immediately *"... such wholesome laws o: ties, o I ques- up, and devoured those of the Egyptians. I shall tion ". but o o wi | e as * ". not be so vain as to think, that where the Specwith t em, as he would have been with the Leges tator appears, the other public prints will vanish; Convivales of Ben Jonson, the regulations of Anji. '... ... it'. der's consideration, ld Roman club cited by Lipsius, or the rules of a |. “. . . y rea let into t o • - - Sreek auth whether it is not much better to be let into the Symposium in an ancient Greek author. knowledge of one's self, than to hear what passes Antois0x. C. in Muscovy or Poland; and to amuse ourselve. * See Dr. o iii. p. o, o edit. 1776, T. with such writings as tend to the wearing out of * -i- - - - - to: '...'. wo o ignorance, passion, and prejudice, than such o: to preolent" it chara Estegui. i. oomedia. was their naturally conduce to inflame hatreds, and make providore; and, as an honourable badge of hosho, wore...a lenmities irreconcilable. ofo” of so * * * * *****| in the opi. I would recommend this paper .* Swift, in ..". o o o to the daily perusal of those gentlemen whom .* F. o "...'..."...'...] annot but consider as my good brothers and allies, or evening a "on most mean the fraternity of Spectators, who live in the parliament, to consult affairo, and drive things on to ex; the world without having any thing to do in it; tremes against the Yo; to call the old ministry to account, and and either by the affluence of their fortunes, or la:
t off five or six heads. - - - - --- * Sec. Whalley's edit. vol. vii. ziness of their dispositions, have no other business ..
oh the rest of mankind, but to look upon them. inder this class of men are comprehended all conamplifive tradesmen, titular physicians, fellows the Royal Society, Templars that are not given o, he contentious, and statesmen that are out of isiness: in short, every one that considers the will as a theatre, and desires to form a right gment of those who are the actors on it. There is another set of men that I must likewise l, a claim to, whom I have lately called the cks of society, as being altogether unfurnished | ideas, till the business and conversation of day has supplied them. I have often consired these poor souls with an eye of great com: ostration, when I have heard them asking the first Tinthey have met with, whether there was any *s stirring? and by that means gathering togeomiterials for thinking. These needy persons not know what to talk of, till about twelve took in the of; for by that time, they are oty good judges of the weather, know which o the wind sits, and whether the Dutch mail be oil. As they lie at the mercy of the first man to meet, and are grave or impertinent all the ong, according to the notions which they have obed in the morning, I would earnestly intreat "em not to stir out of their chambers till they * read this paper, and do promise them that I daily instil into them such sound and wholeone sentiments, as shall have a good effect on or conversation for the ensuing twelve houvs. othere are none to whom this paper will be ote useful than to the female world. I have on thought there has not been sufficient pains on in finding out proper employments and diKonsfor the fair ones. Their amusements seem oved for them, rather as they are women, on is they are reasonable creatures; and are *adapted to the sex than to the species. The o ! stheir great scene of business, and the right ong of their hair the principal employment "owes. The sorting of a suit of ribánds is owned a very good morning’s work; and, if * make an excursion to a mercer’s or a toy** great a fatigue makes them unfit for any seke all the day after. Their more serious "Palions are sewing and embroidery, and their of drudgery the preparations of jellies and "meats. This, I say, is the state of ordinary on though I know there are multitudes of * of a more elevated life and conversation, ** in an exalted sphere of knowledge and * that join all the beauties of the mind to naments of dress, and inspire a kind of awe *Spect, as well as love, into their male be* I hope to increase the number of these Polishing this daily paper, which I shall al* endeavour to make an innocent, if not an "to entertainment, and by that means at **er: the minds of my female readers from *trifles. At the same time, as I would fain one finishing touches to those which are alothe most beautiful pieces in human nature, *adeavour to point out all those imperfec. **taretheblemishes, as well as those virtues ** the embellishments, of the sex. In the "hile, I hope these my gentle readers, who * much time on their hands, will not grudge *8 away a quarter of an hour in a day on *Per; since they may do it without any hin**o business. ** several of my friends and well-wishers of pain for me, lest I should not be able "P"P the spirit of a paper which I oblige
myself to furnish every day: but to make them easy in this particular, I will promise them faithfully to give it over as soon as I grow dull. This s know will be matter of great raillery to the small wits; who will frequently put me in mind of my promise, desire me to keep my word, assureme that it is high time to give over, with many other little pleasantries of the like nature, which men of a little smart genius cannot forbear throwing out against their best friends, when they have such an handle given them of being witty. But let them remember that I do hereby euter my caveat against this piece of raillery. ADL150N. C.
No 11. TUESDAY, MARCH 13, 1710-11.
ARIETTA is visited by all persons of both sexes, who have any pretence to wit and gallantry. She is in that time of life which is neither affected with the follies of youth, or infirmities of age : and her conversation is so mixed with gaiety and prudence, that she is agreeable both to the old and the young. Her behaviour is very frank, without being in the least blameable; as she is out of the track of any amorous or ambitious pursuits of her own, her visitants entertain her with accounts of themselves very freely, whether they concern their passions or their interests. I made her a visit this afternoon, having been formerly introduced to the honour of her acquaintance, by my friend Will Honeycomb, who has prevailed upon her to admit me sometimes into her assembly, as a civil inoffensive man. I found her accompanied with one person only, a common-place talker, who, upon my entrance, arose, and after a very slight civili-y sat down again; then turning to Arietta, pursued his discourse, which I found was upon the old topic of constancy in love. He went on with great facility in repeating what he talks every day of his life; and with the ornaments of insignificant laugh.” and gestures, enforced his arguments by quotations out of plays and songs, which allude to the perjuries of the fair, and the general levity of women. Methought he strove to shine more than ordinarily in his talkative way, that he might insult my silence, and distinguish himself before a woman of Arietta’s taste and understanding. She had often an inclination to interrupt him, but could find no opportunity, till the larum ceased of itself; which it did not till he had repeated and murdered the celebrated story of the Ephesian Matron. Arietta seemed to regard this piece of raillery as an outrage done to her sex; as indeed I have always observed that women, whether out of a nicer regard to their honour, or what other reason i cannot tell, are more sensibly touched with those general aspersions which are cast upon their sex, than men are by what is said of theirs. When she had a little recovered herself from the serious anger she was in, she replied in the following manner: ‘Sir, when I consider how perfectly new as: you have said on this subject is, and that the story you have given us is not quite two thousand years old, I cannot but think it a piece of presumption to dispute it with you : but your quotations put me in mind of the fable of the lion and the man. The man, walking with that noble animal, showcq
him, in the ostentation of human superiority, a sign
In the midst of these good offices, she would sometimes play with his hair, and delight in the opposition of its colour to that of her fingers: then open his bosom, then laugh at him for covering it. She was, it seems, a person of distinction, for she every day came to him in a different dress, of the most beautiful shells, bugles, and bredes. She likewise brought him a great many spoils which her other lovers had presented to her, so that his cave was richly adorned with all the spotted skins of beasts, and most party-coloured feathers of fowls, which that world afforded. To make his confinement more tolerable, she would carry him in the dusk of the evening, or by the favour of moon-light, to unfrequented groves and solitudes, and show him where to lie down in safety, and sleep amidst the falls of waters and melody of nightingales. Her part was to watch and hold him awake in her arms, for fear of her countrymen, and wake him on occasions to consult his safety. In this manner did the lovers pass away their time, till they had learned a language of their own, in which the voyager communicated to his mistress, how happy he should be to have her in his country, where she should be clothed in such silks as his waistcoat was made of, and be carried in houses drawn by horses, without being exposed to wind or weather. All this he promised her the enjoyment of, without such fears and alarms as they were there tormented with. In this tender correspondence these lovcts lived for several months, when Yarico, instructed by her lover, discovered a vessel on the coast, to which she made signals; and in the night, with the utmost joy and satisfaction, accompanied him to a ship's crew of his countrymen, bound for Barbadoes. When a vessel from the main arrives in that island, it seems, the planters come down to the shore, where there is an in mediate market of the Indians and other slaves, as with us of horses and oxen. “To be short, Mr. Thomas Inkle, now coming into English territories, began seriously to reflect upon his loss of time, and to weigh with himself how many days interest of his money he had lost during his stay with Yarico. This thought made the young man pensive, and careful what account he should be able to give his friends of his voyage. Upon which consideration, the prudent and fru young man sold Yarico to a Barbadian merchant: notwithstanding that the poor girl, to incline him to commiserate her condition, told him that she was with child by him; but he only made use of that information, to rise in his demands upon the purchaser.” I was so touched with this story (which I think should be always a counterpart to the Ephesian Matron) that I left the room with tears in my eyes, which a woman of Arietta's good sense did, I am sure, take for greater applause, than any compli.
ments I could make her.
No 12. WEDNESDAY, MARCH 14, 1710-11.
-Veterer avia, tibi depulmone revello.
I root th' old woman from thy trembling heart. At my coming to London, it was some time before I could settle myself in a house to my liking. I to was forced to quit my first lodgings by reason of to an officious landlady, that would be asking me is every morning how I had slept. I then fell into , , an honest family, and lived very happily for above
- o a week; when my landlord, who was a jolly good. ,
ritured man, took it into his head that I wanted ampany, and therefore would frequently come inomy chamber, to keep me from being alone. This ibore for two or three days; but telling me one day that he was afraid I was melancholy, I laight it was high time for me to be gone, and accordingly took new lodgings that very night. Aboit a week after, I found my jolly landlord, who, as I said before, was an honest hearty man, had put me into an advertisement of the Daily Courant, in the following words: “Whereas a mekncholy man left his lodgings on Thursday last in theasternoon, and was afterwards seen going towinds Islington: if any one can give notice of him to R.B. fishmonger in the Strand, he shall be well rewarded for his pains.” As I am the best unin the world to keep my own counsel, and my hollard the fishmonger not knowing my name, this accident of my life was never discovered to is veryday, lim now settled with a widow woman, who is great many children, and complies with my humour in everything. I do not remember that we have exchanged a word together these five years; my coffee comes into my chamber every wning without asking for it; if I want fire I Pinto my chimney, if water to my basin; upon with my landlady nods, as much as to say she hony meaning, and immediately obeys my sig. m; She has likewise modelled her family so oth that when her little boy offers to pull me by the coat, or prattle in my face, his eldest sisterim
Meitely calls him off, and bids him not disturb to gentleman. At my first entering into the fa. al, I was troubled with the civility of their rising some every time I came into the room; but Whildhily observing, that upon these occasions loss cried Pish, and went out again, has for*many such ceremony to be used in the house; *** present I walk into the kitchen or par. *Without being taken notice of, or giving any *mption to the business or discourse of the * The maid will ask her mistress (though I o whether the gentleman is ready to go to **the mistress (who is indeed an excellent *ise) scolds at the servants as heartily before office as behind my back. In short, I move up **n the house, and enter into all companies *the same liberty as a cat, or any other do. *Animal, and am as little suspected of telling othing that I hear or see. Itemember last winterthere were several young ** the neighbourhood sitting about the fire o "landlady's daughters, and telling stories of .*d apparitions. Upon my opening the * young women broke off their discourse, . Islandlady's daughters telling them that it o but the gentleman (for that is the o *I go by in the neighbourhood as well as only) they went on without minding me o myself by the candle that stood on a **one end of the room; and pretending to look that I took out of my pocket, heard so dreadful stories of ghosts, as pale as ashes, Mer **ood at the feet of a bed, or walked o hurchyard by moon-light: and of others o been conjured into the Red-sea, for dis. ople's rest, and drawing their curtains o o with many other old women’s fables o o outure. As one spirit raised another, I rom **at at the end of every story the whole * losed their ranks, and crowded about
it. o I took notice in particular of a little o
am mistaken if he ventures to go to bed by himself this twelvemonth. Indeed they talked so long, that the imaginations of the whole assembly were manifestly crazed, and, I am sure, will be the worse for it as long as they live. I heard one of the girls, that had looked upon me over her shoulder, asking the company how long I had been in the room, and whether I did not look paler than I used to do. This put me under some apprehensions that I should be forced to explain myself, if I did not retire : for which reason I took the candle in my hand, and went up into my chamber, not without wondering at this unaccountable weakness in reasonable creatures, that they should love to astonish and terrify ons: another. Were I a father, I should take a particular care to preserve my children from these little horrors and imaginations, which they are apt to contract when they are young, and are not able to shake off when they are in years. I hove known a soldier that has entered a breach affrighted at his own shadow, and look pale up 3n a little scratching at his door, who the day 'oefore had marched up against a battery of car.non. There are instances of persons who have been terrified, even to distraction, at the figure of a tree, or the shaking of a bulrush. The truths of it is, I look upon a sound imagination as the greatest blessing of life, next to a clear judgment and a good conscience. In the mean time, since, there are very few whose minds are not more or less subject to these dreadful thoughts and appreheynsions, we ought to arm ourselves against them by the dictates of reason and religion, “to pull the old woman out of our hearts,” (as Persius expressess it in the motto of my paper,) and extinguish those impertinent notions which we imbibed at a time a that we were not able to judge of their absurdity". Or if we believe, as many wise and good men have done, that there are such phantoms and apparition is as those I have been speaking of, let us endeavou is to establish to ourselves an interest in Him who holds the reins of the whole creation in his hands, , and moderates them after such a manner, that it is i empossible for one being to break loose upon anotaher, without his knowledge and permission. il
with those who believe that all the regitions of nature swarm with spirits: and that we chave multitudes of spectators on all our actions, cwhen we think ourselves most alone; but instead of terrify. ing myself with such a notion, I am won derfully pleased to think that I am always engas ked with such an innumerable society, in searching out the wonders of the creation, and joining in the same consort of praise and adoration. Milton" has finely described this mixed conmunion of men and spirits in Paradise; and had doubtless his eye upon a verse in old Hesiod, which is almost word for word the same with his third line in the following passage :
*—Northink, though men were none,
* In his Paradise Loo.
** so attentire to every story, that I
For my own part, I am apt to join a in opinion so