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sat next to me, and was worth half a plumb, stared at him, and observing there was some sense, as he thought, mixt with his impertinence, whispered me, Take my word for it, this fellow is more knave than fool. This was all my good friend's applause of the wittiest man of talk that I was ever present at, which wanted nothing to make it excellent, but that there was no occasion for it.

The pedant is so obvious to ridicule, that it would be to be one to offer to explain him. He is a gentleman so well known, that there is none but those of his own class who do not laugh at and avoid him. Pedantry proceeds from much reading and little understanding: A pedant among men of learning and sense, is like an ignorant servant giving an account of a polite conversation. You may find he has brought with him more than could have entered into his head without being there, but still that he is not a bit wiser than if he had not been there at all,

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NO. 245. THURSDAY, NOVEMBER 2, 1710.

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From my own Apartment, November 1. The lady hereafter mentioned, having come to me in very great haste, and paid me much above the usual fee, as a cunning-man, to find her stolen goods, and also having approved my late discourse of advertisements, obliged me to draw up this, and insert it in the body of my paper,

ADVERTISEMENT. WHEREAS Bridget Howd'ye, late servant to the lady Fardingale, a short, thick, lively, hard-favoured wench, of about twenty-nine years of age, her eyes small and bleared, and nose very broad at bottom, and turning up at the end, her mouth wide, and lips of an unusual thickness, two teeth out before, the rest black and uneven, the tip of her left ear being of a mouse colour, her

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voice loud and thrill, quick of speech, and something of a Welch accent, withdrew herself on Wednesday last from her ladyship's dwelling-house, and, with the help of her consorts, carried off the following goods of her said lady, viz, a thick wadded callico wrapper, a mulk-coloured velvet mantle lined with squirrel skins, eight night-shifts, four pair of silk-stockings curioufly darned, fix pair of laced shoes, new and old, with the heels of half two inches higher than their fellows; a quilted petticoat of the largest fize, and one of canvas with whale-bone hoops ; three pair of stays, bolstered below the left shoulder, two pair of hips of the newest fashion, six round-about aprons with pockets, and four striped muslin night-rails very little frayed; a silver pot for coffee or chocolate, the lid much bruised ; a broad brimmed flat silver plate for sugar with Rhenish wine, a silver ladle for plum-porridge; a silver cheese-toaster with three tongues, an ebony handle, and filvering at the end ; a silver posnet to butter eggs; one caudle and two cordial-water-cups, two cocoa-cups, and an oftrich's egg, with rims and feet of silver, a marrow-spoon with a scoop at the other end, a silver orange-strainer, eight sweetmeat spoons made with forks at the end, an agate handle knife and fork in a sheath, a silver tongue-scraper, a silver tobacco-box, with a tulip graved on the top ; and a bible bound in shagreen, with gilt leaves and clasps, never opened but once. Also a small cabinet with six drawers inlaid with tortoise-fhell, and brass gilt ornaments at the four corners, in which were two leather forehead-cloths, three pair of oiled dog-skin gloves, seven cakes of superfine Spanish wool, half a dozen of Portugal dishes, and a quire of paper from thence; two pair of bran-new plumpers, four black-lead combs, three pair of fashionable eyebrows, two sets of ivory teeth, little the worse for wearing, and one pair of box for common use; Adam and Eve in bugle-work, without fig-leaves, upon canvas curiously, wrought with her ladyship's own hand ; several filligrane curiolities; a crotchet of one hundred and twenty-two diamonds, set strong and deep in filver, with a rump-jewel after the same fashion ; bracelets of braided hair, pomander and seed-pearl ; a large old purple velvet purse embroidered,


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and shutting with a spring, containing two pictures in miniature, the features visible; a broad thick gold ring with a hand in hand graved upon it, and within this posey,

While life does last, l'll hold thee fast;' another fet round with small rubies and sparks, six wanting ; another of Turkey stone, cracked through the middle; an Elizabeth and four Jacobuses, one guinea, the first of the coin, an angel with a hole bored through, a broken half of a Spanish piece of gold, a crown-piece with the breeches, an old nine-pence bent both ways by Lilly the almanack-maker for luck at langteraloo, and twelve of the shells called blackmoor's tooth; one small amber box with apoplectic balsam, and one filver gilt of a larger fize for cafhu and carraway comfits, to be taken at long fermons, the lid enamelled, representing a Cupid fishing for hearts with a piece of gold on his hook ; over his head this rhyme,

Only with gold, you me shall hold.' In the lower drawer was a large new gold repeating watch made by a Frenchman; a gold chain, and all the proper appurtenances hung upon steel swivels, to wit, lockets with the hair of dead and living lovers, seals with arms, emblems and devices cut in cornelian, agate and onyx, with cupids, hearts, darts, altars, flames, rocks, pickaxes, roses, thorns, and sunflowers; as also variety of ingenious French mottos ; together with gold etuys for quills, scissars, needles, thimbles, and a spunge dipped in Hungary water, left but the night before by a young lady going upon a frolic incog: There was also a bundle of letters, dated between the years one thousand six hundred and seventy and one thousand six hundred eighty-two, most of them figned Philan. der, the rest Strephon, Amyntas, Corydon, and Adonis; together with a collection of receipts to make paftes for the hands, pomatums, lip-salves, white-pots, beautifying creams, water of talk, and frog-spawn water; decoctions for clearing the complexion, and an approved medicine to procure abortion.

Whoever can discover the aforesaid goods, so that they may be had again, shall have fifty guineas for the whole, or proportionable for any part. N. B. Her ladyship is pleased to promise ten pounds


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for the pacquet of letters over and above, or five for Philander's only, being her first love. My lady bestows those of Strephon to the finder, being so written, that they

serve to any woman who reads them.'



As I am patron of persons who have no other friend to apply to, I cannot fupprefs the following compliant.

• SIR,

( 'I am a blackmoor boy, and have, by my lady's order, been christened by the chaplain. The good man has


further with me, and told me a great deal of good news ; as, that I am as good as my lady

herself as I am a Christian, and many other things : but for all this, the parrot,


came over with me from our country, is as much esteemed by her as I am. Besides this, the Thock-dog has a collar that cost almost as much as mine, I defire also to know, whether now I am a Christian, I am obliged to dress like a Turk, and wear a turbant.

I am, Sir,

Your most humble servant


NO. 246. SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1710.

-Vitiis nemo fine nascitur ; optimus ille
Qui minimis urgetur.

Hor. Sat. 3. lib. 1. ver. 68.

We have all our vices, and the best Is he, who with the fewest is opprest.


From my own Apartment, November 3. WHEN one considers the turn which conversation takes in almost every set of acquaintance, club or assembly, in this town or kingdom, one cannot but observe, that in spite of what I am every day saying, and all the moral writers fince the beginning of the world have said, the subject of discourse is generally upon one another's faults. This in a great measure proceeds from self-conceit, which were to be endured in one or other individual person ; but the folly has spread itself almost over all the species; and one cannot only say, Tom, Jack, or Will, but in general, That man is a coxcomb. From this source it is that any excellence is faintly received, any imperfection unmercifully exposed. But if things were put in a true light, and we would take time to confider that man in his very nature is an imperfect being, our sense of this matter would be immediately altered, and the word imperfection would not carry an unkinder idea than the word humanity. It is a pleasant story that we, forsooth, who are the only imperfect creatures in the universe, are the only beings that will not allow of imperfection. Somebody has taken notice, that we stand in the middle of existences, and are by this one circumstance the most unhappy of all others. The brutes are guided by instinet, and know no sorrow; the angels have knowledge, and they are happy: but men are governed by opinion, which is I know not what mix


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