seller Dunning, thinking to embarrass him, began with, Now you, Mr. with the copper nose, now you are sworn, what have you to say? Why, by the oath I have sworn, replied he, I would not exchange my copper nose for your brazen face.

Prefer friends to game.

The Duc de Longueville being advised to prosecute some of the neighbouring gentry who poached upon his manor, said-no-I prefer having friends to having game.

Mossop and the Cobler.

The late Mr. Mossop the player always spoke in heroics. A cobler in Dublin, who once brought home his boots, refused to leave them without the money. Mossop returned during the time he was disputing, and looking sternly, exclaimed-Tell me, are you the noted Cobler I have oft heard of?—Yes, says the fellow, and I think you are the diverting vagabond I have often seen.

Dr. Johnson.

Dr. Johnson would not allow Scotland to derive any credit from Lord Mansfield, for he was educated in England. Much, said he, may be made of a Scotsman, if he be caught young.

An Irish Criminal.

An Irishman at an assize in Cork, was arraigned for felony, before judge Monteney. He was asked who he would be tried by? By no one, by J-s, says he. The jailer desired him to say, by God and his country. Upon my shoul I will not, (says Paddy) for I don't like it at all at all, my dear! What's that you say, honest man? says the judge. See there now, (says the criminal) his lordship, long life to him, calls me an honest man, and why should I plead guilty?" What do you say says the judge, in an authoritative voice, I say, my lord, I won't be tried by God at all at all, for he knows all about the matter; but I will be tried by your lordship and my country.

Lawyers.

To call Lawyers Birds of Passage, gives but an imperfect image. They bear, it is true, some little resemblance to the Woodcock in the length of their bills. In every other respect they may be fairly classed among the Birds of prey. It is no libel to call the Judge an Eagle. The Serjeants and Counsel, Ravens, Hawks, and Buzzards. The country Attorney is invariably a Kite. The town pettifogger wants nothing but feathers to make him a complete Vulture, and as to the finisher of the law, he is in more senses than one, a Cormorant.

The Princess Amelia.

The Princess Amelia once observing a very tall officer come into the rooms at Bath, asked who he was, and being told, that though now in the army, he was originally intended for the church. For the steeple rather, replied she.

Root and branch.

Notwithstanding Lord Rochester was the most de bauched and imprudent nobleman of his time, and though he had even exhibited as a mountebank on Tow er-hill, yet he had not confidence enough to speak in the House of Peers. One day, making an attempt, he gave a true picture of this mauvais honte My Lords and Gentlemen, I rise this time-My Lords and Gentlemen, I mean to divide this discourse into four branches -My Lords and Gentlemen, if ever I attempt to branch in this house again, I'll give you leave to cut me off root and branch for ever.And he sat down.

A Minister's promise.

A gentleman who possesses a small estate in Gloucestershire, was allured to town by the promises of the Duke of Newcastle, who, for many months, kept him in constant attendance, until the poor man's patience being quite exhausted, he one morning called upon his patron, and told him that he had at length got a place.

The Duke very cordially shook him by the hand, and congratulated him on his good fortune but pray, Sir, added he, where is your place ?in the Gloucester coach, replied he, I secured it last night; and, you, Sir, have cured me of higher ambition.

The frightened Chaplain.

In a storm at sea, Mr. Swain, chaplain of the Rutland, asked one of the crew, if he thought there was any danger? O yes, replied the sailor, if it blows as hard as it does now, we shall all be in heaven before twelve o'clock to-night. The chaplain, terrified at the expression, cried out, O God forbid !

Courage put to the test.

The famous Weston of facetious memory, having borrowed, on note, the sum of five pounds, and failing in payment, the gentleman who had lent the money, took occasion indiscreetly to talk of it in the public coffee-house, which obliged Weston to take notice of it; so that it came to a challenge. Being got into the field, the gentleman, a little tender in point of courage, offered him the note to make it up, to which our hero readily consented, and had the note delivered. But now, said the gentleman, if we should return without fighting, our companions will laugh at us; therefore let us give one another a slight scratch, and say we wounded one another.-With all my heart, says Weston, come, I'll wound you first; so drawing his sword, he whipt it through the fleshy part of his antagonist's arm, till he brought the very tears into his eyes. This done and the wound tied up with a handkerchief; Come, said the gentleman, Where shall I wound you 2 Weston putting himself in a posture of defence, Where you can, Sir. Well, well, says the other, I can swear I received this wound of you; and so marched off contentedly.

Old Broadbrim.

A traveller to a house in the city, being at Bristol, invited six quakers to sup with him at his quarters

presently after, some of the friends were anxious to hear the rider sing, but it being inconsistent with their plan of purity, to request so profane a favour, they went a round about way to work. Friend, said one, dost not thee sometimes amuse thyself by singing a song? I do, said he. Then if thou art so inclined, resumed old Broadbrim, now, we shall not oppose thee. After repeated solicitations he began to amuse himself, and the friends seemed as much amused as he. It is to be observed, that it was Saturday night, and the clock struck twelve just as he had sung three verses of a song, not famed for strict accordance with modesty: the rider paused, and said he did not wish to proceed, as it was Sunday morning. Thou mayest finish thy song friend, said one of them, for I can assure thee, that clock goes five minutes too fast.

Pragmatical banker.

A certain pragmatical banker, of a very low origin, continually boasting of his consequence, was one day determined to open his self-importance; and at a public meeting at the London Tavern; said-Why I think Mr.

you and I have done very well, considering how little cash we began with; I remember when f came from Yorkshire, I had only one half crown left, which I put in my mouth on Finchley Common, for fear of being robbed; and I think you had not so much. The other piqued at this relation, replied, It is well known I had gold in my pocket.-Gads so, says the other, that is true, for I remember the parish made only one collection for me, but they went round a second time for you.

Summary Justice.

A gentleman amusing himself in the gallery of the Palais, a place in Paris somewhat like what our Exchanges formerly were, observed while he was carelessly looking over some pamphlets at a bookseller's shop, a suspicious fellow stood rather too near him: the gentleman was dressed, according to the fashion of the times, in a coat with a prodigious number of silver tags and tassels; upon which the thief began to have a design; C

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and the gentleman not willing to disappoint him, turned his head another way, to give him an opportunity: the thief immediately set to work, and, in a trice, twisted off seven or eight of the silver tags; the gentleman perceived it, and drawing out a penknife, catched the fellow by the ear, and cut it off close to his head. Murder! murder! cries the thief, Robbery! robbery! cries the gentleman; upon this the thief, in a passion, throwing them at the gentleman, roared, There are your tags and buttons! Very well says the gentleman, (throwing it back in like manner) there is your ear.

A valiant Frenchman.

A fellow hearing the drums beat up for volunteers for France, in the expedition against the Dutch, imagined himself valiant enough, and thereupon enlisted; returning again, being asked by his friends, what exploits he had done there? said, that he had cut off one of the enemies legs; and being told that it had been more honourable and manly to have cut off his head: Oh! said he, you must know that his head was cut off before.

The archbishop of Strasburgh.

An archbishop of Strasburgh marching once at the head of a military force, a countryman who met them burst into a violent fit of laughter. What do you laugh at? said the prelate. Why, please your eminence, replied the fellow, I cannot but laugh to see an archbishop, a successor of the peaceable apostles, marching at the head of a train of soldiers. Aye, returned the other, but I do not head these soldiers as an archbishop, but as a Prince of Strasburgh. At this the countryman laughed louder than before, and on being asked the reason, replied. Why I am thinking, if the Prince of Strasburgh should chance to go to the devil, what will become of the archbishop.

A Robber's qualification.

Cartouche, the famous French robber, being told that a young man wished to become a member of his band,