Enter Malvolio. I'm as mad as he, If fad and merry madness equal be. Mal. Sweet Lady, ha, ha. [Smiles fantastically. Oli. Smil'ft thou? I fent for thee upon a fad occafion. Mal. Sad, Lady? I could be fad; this does make fome Jobftruction in the blood, this cross-gartering; but what of it? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true fonnet is; Please one, and please all. Oli. Why? how doft thou, man? what is the matter with thee? : Mal. Not black in my mind, though yellow in my legs it did come to his hands, and commands fhall be executed. I think we do know that sweet Roman hand. Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio? Mal. To bed? ay, fweet heart; and I'll come to thee. Oli. God comfort thee! why doft thou smile so, and kifs thy hand fo oft? Mar. How do you. Malvolio? Mal. At your request? Yes, nightingales answer daws! Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldnefs before my Lady? Mal. Be not afraid of greatness;-'twas well writ. Oli. Ha? Mal. Some atchieve greatness Oli. What fay'st thou? Mel. And fome have greatness thrust Oli. Heav'n restore thee! upon them-- Mal. Remember who commended thy yellow ftockings. Oli. Thy yellow ftockings?. Mal. And wifh'd to fee thee cross-garter'd- Mal. Go to, thou art made, if thou defireft to be fo Oli. Am I made? Mal. If not, let me fee thee a fervant ftill. Ser. Madam, the young gentleman of the Duke Orfino's is return'd; I could hardly entreat him back; he attends your Ladyfhip's pleasure. Oli. I'll come to him. Good Maria, let this fellow be look'd to. Where's my uncle Toby? let fome of my people have a special care of him; I would not have him mifcarry for half of my dowry. [Exit. Mal. Oh, oh! do you come near me now? no worse man than Sir Toby to look to me! this concurs directly with the letter: the fends him on purpose that I may appear ftubborn to him; for fhe incites me to that in the letter. Caft thy humble flough, fays fhe; be opposite with a kinfman, -furly with fervants,-let thy tongue tang with arguments of ftate,--put thyfelf into the trick of fingularity: and confequently fets down the manner how; as a fad face, a reverend carriage, a flow tongue, in the habit of fome Sir of note, and so forth. I have lim'd her; but it is Jove's doing, and Jove make me thankful! and when the went away now, let this fellow be look'd to: fellow! not Malvolio, nor after my degree, but fellow. Why, every thing adheres together, that no dram of a fcruple, no fcruple of a fcruple, no obftacle, no incredulous or unfafe circunftance what can be faid? Nothing, that can be, can come between me and the full profpect of my hopes. Well, Jove, not I, is the doer of this, and he is to be thanked. Enter Sir Toby, Fabian, and Maria. Sir To. Which way is he, in the name of fanctity? If all the devils in hell be drawn in little, and Legion himself poffefs'd him, yet I'll speak to him. Fab. Here he is, here he is: how is't with you, Sir? how is't with you, man? Mal. Go off; I difcard you; let me enjoy my privacy: go off. Mar. Lo, how hollow the fiend fpeaks within him! did I not tell you? Sir Toby, my Lady prays you to have a care of him. Mal. Ah, ha! does the fo? Sir To. Go to, go to; peace, peace; we must deal gently with him; let me alone. How do you, Malvolio? how is't with you? what! man, defy the devil; confider he's an enemy to mankind. Mal. Do you know what you say? Mar. La, you! if you speak ill of the devil, how he takes it at heart. Pray God he be not be witch'd. Fab. Carry his water to th' wife woman. Mar. Marry, and it fhall be done to-morrow morning, if I live. My Lady would not lose him for more than I'll fay. Mal. How now, Mistress? Mar. O Lord! Sir To. Pr'ythee hold thy peace; that is not the way: do you not fee you move him? let me alone with him. Fab. No way but gentlenefs, gently, gently; the fiend is rough, and will not be roughly us'd. Sir To. Why, how now, my bawcock; how doft thou, chuck? Mal. Sir? Sir To. Ay, biddy, come with me. What! man, 'tis not for gravity to play at cherry-pit with Satan. Hang him, foul collier. Mar. Get him to fay his prayers, good Sir Toby; get him to pray. VOL. III. E Mal. My prayers, minx! Mar. No, I warrant you he will not hear of godliness. Mal. Go hang yourselves all: you are idle fhallow things; I am not of your element; you fhall know more hereafter. [Exit. Sir To. Is't poffible? Fab. If this were play'd upon a stage now, I could condemn it as an improbable fiction. Sir To. His very genius hath taken the infection of the device, man. Mar. Nay, purfue him now, left the device take air, and taint. Fab. Why, we fhall make him mad indeed. Sir To. Come, we'll have him in a dark room, and bound. My niece is already in the belief that he is mad; we may carry it thus for our pleasure and his penance, 'till our very paftime, tired out of breath, prompt us to have mercy on him; at which time we will bring the device to the bar, and crown thee for a finder of madmen. But fee, but fee. Fab. More matter for a May morning. Sir And. Here's the challenge, read it: I warrant there's vinegar and pepper in't. Fab. Is't fo fawcy? Sir And. Ay is't; I warrant him: do but read. [Sir Toby reads. Youth, whatsoever thou art, thou art but a Scurvy fellow. Fab. Good and valiant. Sir To. Wonder not, nor admire not in thy mind why I do call thee fo; for I will shew thee no reason fort. Fab. A good note; that keeps you from the blow of the law. Sir To. Thou com'ft to the Lady Olivia, and in my fight he uses thee kindly; but thou lieft in thy throat, that is not the matter I challenge thee for. Fab. Very brief, and exceeding good fenfe-less. Sir To. I will way-lay thee going home, where, if it be thy chance to kill me Fab. Good. Sir To. Thou kill'ft me like a rogue and a villain. Fab. Still you keep o' th' windy fide of the law: good. Sir To. Fare thee well, and God have mercy upon one of our fouls: he may have mercy upon mine*, but my hope is better, and fo look to thyself. Thy friend as thou ufeft him, and thy fworn enemy, Andrew Ague-cheek. Sir To. If this letter move him not, his legs cannot: I'll give't him. Mar. You may have very fit occafion for't: he is now in fome commerce with my Lady, and will by and by depart. Sir To. Go, Sir Andrew, scout me for him at the corner of the orchard, like a bum bailiff; fo foon as ever thou feest him, draw; and, as thou draweft, fwear horribly; for it comes to pafs oft, that a terrible oath, with a fwaggering accent fharply twang'd off, gives manhood more approbation than ever proof itfelf would have earn'd him. Away. Sir And. Nay, let me alone for fwearing. [Exit. Sir To. Now will not I deliver his letter; for the behaviour of the young gentleman gives him out to be of good capacity and breeding; his employment between his Lord and my niece confirms no lefs; therefore this letter, being fo excellently ignorant, will breed no terror in the youth; he will find that it comes from a clodpole. But, Sir, I will deliver his challenge by word of mouth; fet upon Aguecheek a notable report of valour; and drive the gentleman (as I know his youth will aptly receive it), into a moft hideous opinion of his rage, skill, * It were much to be wished that Shakespeare, in this and fome other paffages, had not ventured fo near profanenefs. Johnfon. |