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Balm his foul head with warm distilled waters,
And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet,
Procure me music ready when he wakes,
To make a dulcet and a heav'nly found;
And if he chance to speak, be ready straight,
And with a low submissive reverence
Say, what is it your honour will command ?
Let one attend him with a silver bason
Full of rose water, and bestrew'd with flowers;
Another bear the ewer; a third a diaper;
And say, Will't please your Lordship cool your hands?
Some one be ready with a costly suit,
And ask him what apparel he will wear;
Another tell him of his hounds and horse,
And that his lady mourns at his disease;
Persuade him, that he hath been lunatic.
And when he says he is, ---say, that he dreams;
For he is nothing but a mighty lord.
This do, and do it kindly, gentle Sirs:
It will be pastime palling excellent,
If it be husbanded with modesty.

I Hun. My Lord, I warrant you we'll play our As he shall think, by our true diligence, [part, He is no less than what we say he is.

Lord. Take him up gently, and to bed with him; And each one to his office when he wakes.

[Some bear out Sly. Sound Trumpets. Sirrah, go see what trumpet is that sounds. Belike some noble gentleman that means,

[Ex Servant, Travelling some journey, to repose him here,

S CE N E III.

Re-enter a Servant. How now? who is it?

Ser. An't please your Honour, players That offer service to your Lordship. Lord. Bid them come near :

Enter Players. Now, fellows, you are welcome,

Play. We thank your Honour.
Lord. Do you intend to stay with me to-night?
2 Play. So please your Lordship to accept our duty.
Lord. With all my heart. This fellow I re.

member, Since once he play'd a farmer's eldest son: 'Twas where you woo'd the gentlewoman so well: I have forgot your name ; but fure, that part Was aptly fitted, and naturally perform’d.

Sin. * I think 'twas Soto that your Honour

means.

Lord. 'Tis very true ; thou didft it excellent: Well, you are come to me in happy time, The rather for I have some sport in hand, Wherein your cunning can aslift me much. There is a Lord will hear you play to-night; But I am doubtful of your modesties, Lest, over-eying of his odd behaviour, (For yet his Honour never heard a play), You break into fome merry pallion, And so offend him: for I tell you, Sirs, If you should smile, he grows impatient. Play. Fear not, my Lord, we can contain our.

selves, Were he the verriest antic in the world.

2 Play. to the other. ] Go get a dishclout to make clean your shoes, and I'll speak for the properties t.

[Exit Player. My Lord, we must have a shoulder of mutton for a property, and a little vinegar to make our devil roar 1.

Lord. Go, sirral, take them to the buttery,

* Mr Rowe and Mr Pope prefix the name of Sim to the line here spoken ; but the first tolio has it Suck!o; which, no doubt, was the name of one of the players here introduced, and who had played the part of soto with applause. Theobald

+ Property, in the language of a play.house, is every implement necessary to the exhibition. Fohnson.

# When the acting the myjieries on the Old and New Testament was in vogue"; at the representation of the Myjery of the Pallion, Judas and the devil made a past.

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And give them friendly welcome every one :
Let thein want nothing that the house affords.

[Exit one with the Players.
Sirrah, go you to Bartholomew my page,
And see him dress'd in all suits like a lady.
That done, conduct him to the drunkard's chamber,
And call him Madam, do him all obeisance.
Tell him from me, (as he will win my love),
He bear himself with honourable action,
Such as he hath observ'd in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplish'd;
Such duty to the drunkard let him do,
With soft low tongue, and lowly courtesy;
And say, What is't your Honour will command,
Wherein your lady and your humble wife
May shew her duty, and make known her love?
And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,
And with declining head into his bosom,
Bid him shed tears, as being over-joyd
To see her noble lord restor'd to health,
Who for twice seven years hath esteem'd himself
No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman's gift
To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift;
Which in a napkin being close convey'd,
Shall in despight enforce a wat’ry eye.
See this dispatch'd, with all the halte thou canst;
Anon I'll give thee more instructions.

[Exit Servant.
I know the boy will well usurp the grace,
And the devil, where-ever he came, was always to suf-
fer some disgrace, to make the people laugh : as here,
the buffoonery was to apply the galland vinegar to make
him roar. And the Passion being that, of all the myo
steries, which was molt frequently represented, vinegar
became at length the standing implement to torment
the devil: and used for this purpose, even after the mya
series ceased, and the moralities came in vogue; where
the devil continued to have a considerable part.
The mention of it here was to ridicule so absurd a cir.
cumstance in these old farces. Warburion.
VOL. III.

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Voice, gait, and action of a gentlewoman.
I long to hear him call the drunkard, husband;
And how my men will stay themselves from laughter,
When they do homage to this simple peasant.
I'll in to counsel them: haply my presence
May well abate the over-merry fpleen,
Which otherwise will go into extremes. [Exit Lord.

S CE N E IV.
Changes to a Bed-chamber in the Lord's House.
Enter Sly with attendants, Some with appareh, bafos

and ewer, and other appurtenances. Re-enter Lord. Sly. For God's sake a pot of small ale. i Serv. Will’t please your Lordship drink a cup

of fack? 2 Serv. Willt please your Honour taste of these

conserves ? 3 Serv. What raiment will your Honour wear

to-day? Sly I am Christophero Sly, call not me Honour nor Lordship : I ne'er drank fack in my life : and if you give me any conserves, give me conserves of beef. Ne'er ask me what raiment I'll wear, for I have no more doublets than backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than feet; nay, sometimes more feet than shoes; or such shoes as my toes look through the over-leather. Lord. Heay'n cease this idle humour in your Ho

nour!
Oh, that a mighty man of such descent,
Of such possessions, and so high esteem,
Should be infused with fo foul a spirit !

Sly. What, would you make me mad? am not I Christophero Sly, old Sly's son of Burton-heath, by birth a pedlar, by education a card-maker, by transmutation a bearherd, and now by prelent profesion a tinker? Ask Marian Hacket, the fat ale-wise of Wincot, if she know me not; if she say I am not fourteen pence on the score for sheer ale, score me

your house,

up for the lying'lt knave in Christendom. What, I am not bestraught : here's

I Man. Oh, this it is that makes your lady mourn. 2 Man. Oh, this it is that makes your servants

droop. Lord. Hence comes it that your kindred shun As beaten hence by your strange lunacy. Oh, noble Lord, bethink thee of thy birth, Call home thy ancient thoughts from banishment, And banish hence thele abject lowly dreains. Look how thy fervants do attend on thee; Each in his office ready at thy beck. Wilt thou have music? hark, Apollo plays; [Music. And twenty caged nightingales do sing, Or wilt thou lep? we'll have thee to a couch, Softer and swee er than the lustful bed On purpose trimm'd up for Semiramis. Say thou wilt walk, we will bestrow the ground: Or wilt thou ride? thy horses fhall be trapp'd, Their harness studded all with gold and pearl. Dost thou love hawking? thou hast hawks will soar Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt? Thy hounds shall inake the welkin answer them, And fetch shrill echoes froin the hollow earth. 1 Man. Say thou wilt course, thy greyhounds

are as swift As breathed stags; ay, fleeter than the roe. 2 Man. Dost thou love pictures? we will fetch

thee strait Adonis. painted by a running brook; And Githerea all in sedges hid, Which seem to move and wanton with her breath, Ev'n as the waving fedges play with wind.

Lord. We'll shew thee lo as she was a maid, And how she was beguiled and surprisid, As lively painted as the deed was done. 3 Man. Or Daphine roaming through a thorny

wood, Scratching her legs, that one shall swear she bleeds; And at that fight shall fad Apollo 'veep, So workmanly the blood and tears are drawn.

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