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Inventurata Pastorella.

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No. 20.) Thursday, May 26, 1709. But for fear of being over-heard, and her
Though the theatre is now breaking, it

quality known, she usually sings it in Italian. is allowed still to sell animals there; there

Naqui al Regno, naqui al Trono
fore, if any lady or gentleman have occa-
sion for a tame elephant, let them inquire
of Mr. Pinkethman, who has one to dispose

Since I have touched upon this subject, I of at a reasonable rate. The downfall of shall communicate to my reader part of a May-Fair has quite sunk the price of this letter I have received from a friend at Amnoble creature, as well as of many other cu- sterdam, where there is a very noble theariosities of nature. A tiger will sell almost tre; though the manner of furnishing it with as cheap as an ox: and I am credibly inform- actors is something peculiar to that place, ed, a man may purchase a cat with three legs and gives us occasion to admire both the for very near the value of one with four. °I politeness and frugality of the people. hear likewise, that there is a great desola- My friends have kept me here a week tion among the gentlemen and ladies who longer than ordinary, to see one of their were the ornaments of the town, and used to plays, which was performed last night with shine in plumes and diadems; the heroes great applause. The actors are all of them being most of them pressed, and the queens tradesmen, who, after their day's work is beating hemp. Mrs. Sarabrand, so famous over, earn about a guilder a night by perfor her ingenious Puppet-show, has set up a sonating kings and generals. The hero of shop in the Exchange, where she sells her the tragedy I saw, was a journeyman tailittle troop, under the term of Jointed Ba- lor, and his first minister of state a coffeebies. I could not but be solicitous to know man. The empress made me think of Parof her, how she had disposed of that rake- thenope in the Rehearsal; for her mother hell Punch, whose lewd life and conversa- keeps an ale-house in the suburbs of Amtion had given so much scandal, and did not sterdam. When the tragedy was over, they a little contribute to the ruin of the fair. entertained us with a short farce, in which She told me, with a sigh, that, despairing of the cobbler did his part to a miracle; but, ever reclaiming him, she would not offer to upon inquiry, I found he had really been place him in a civil family, but got him in a working at his own trade, and representing post upon a stall in Wapping, where he may on the stage what he acted every day in his be seen from sun-rising to sun-setting, with shop. The profits of the theatre maintain a glass in one hand, and a pipe in the other, an hospital : For as here they do not think as sentry to a brandy-shop. The great the profession of an actor the only trade that revolutions of this nature, bring to my mind a man ought to exercise, so they will not the distresses of the unfortunate Camilla, allow any body to grow rich on a profession who has had the ill luck to break before her that in their opinion so little conduces to the voice, and to disappear at a time when her good of the commonwealth. If I am not beauty was at the height of its bloom. This mistaken, your playhouses in England have lady entered so thoroughly into the great done the same thing; for, unless I am mischaracters she acted, that when she had informed, the hospital at Dulledge was finished her part, she could not think of re- erected and endowed by Mr. Allen, a player: trenching her equipage, but would appear and it is also said, a famous she-tragedian in her own lodgings with the same magnifi- has settled her estate, after her death, for the cence that she did upon the stage. This maintenance of decayed wits, who are to be greatness of soul has reduced that unhappy taken in as soon as they grow dull, at whatprincess to an involuntary retirement, where ever time of their life that shall happen." she now passes her time among the woods and forests, thinking on the crowns and No. 42.] Saturday, July 16, 1709. sceptres she has lost, and often humming over in her solitude,

Celebrare Domestica Facta.,
I was born of royal race,

This is to give notice, that a magnificen-
Yet must wander in disgrace, &c.

palace, with great variety of gardens, stat

tues, and water-works, may be bought, Aurengzebe's scimitar, made by Will. cheap in Drury-Lane; where there are Brown in Piccadilly. likewise several castles to be disposed of, A plume of feathers, never used but by very delightfully situated; as also groves, Edipus and the Earl of Essex. woods, forests, fountains, and country seats, There are also swords, halberts, sheepwith very pleasant prospects on all sides of hooks, cardinals' hats, turbans, drums, galthem; being the moveables of Christopher lypots, a gibbet, a cradle, a rack, a cartRich, Esq. who is breaking up house-keep-wheel, an altar, a helmet, a back-piece, a ing, and has many curious pieces of furni- breast-plate, a bell, a tub, and a jointed baby. ture to dispose of, which may be seen be- These are the hard shifts we intelligencer: tween the hours of six and ten in the evening. are forced to; therefore our readers ought The Inventory.

to excuse us, if a westerly wind, blowing for

a fortnight together, generally fills every Spirits of right Nants brandy, for lambent paper with an order of battle; when we flames and apparitions.

show our martial skill in each line, and, acThree bottles and a half of lightning. cording to the space we have to fill, we range

One shower of snow, in the whitest French our men in squadrons and battalions, to draw paper.

out company by company, and troop. by Two showers of a browner sort.

troop ; ever observing, that no muster is to A sea, consisting of a dozen large waves, be made, but when the wind is in a cross the tenth bigger than ordinary, and a little point, which often happens at the end of a damaged.

campaign, when half the men are deserted A dozen and a half of clouds, trimmed or killed. The Courant is sometimes ten with black, and well conditioned.

deep, his ranks close : the Post-boy is geneA rainbow, a little faded.

rally in files, for greater exactness; and the A set of clouds, after the French mode, Post-man comes down upon you rather after streaked with lightning, and furbelowed. the Turkish way, sword in hand, pell-mell,

A new-moon, something decayed. without form or discipline ; but sure to bring A pint of the finest Spanish wash, being men enough into the field; and whereve: all that is left of two hogsheads sent over they are raised, never to lose a battle for last winter,

want of numbers. A coach, very finely gilt, and little used, with a pair of dragons, to be sold cheap.

A setting-sun, a penny-worth.

An imperial mantle, made for Cyrus the No. 75.) Saturday, October 1, 1709. Great, and worn by Julius Cæsar, Bajazet,

From my own Apartment, September 30. King Harry the Eighth, and Signior Va- I am called off from public dissertations lentini.

by a domestic affair of great importance, A basket-hilt sword, very convenient to which is no less than the disposal of my siscarry milk in.

ter Jenny for life. The girl is a girl of great Roxana's night-gown.

merit, and pleasant conversation; but I beOthello's handkerchief.

ing born of my father's first wife, and she of The imperial robes of Xerxes, never worn his third, she converses with me rather like but once.

a daughter than a sister. I have indeed told A wild boar, killed by Mrs. Tofts, and her, that if she kept her honour, and behaDioclesian.

ved herself in such a manner as became the A serpent to sting Cleopatra.

Bickerstaffes, I would get her an agreeable A mustard-bowl, to make thunder with. man for her husband; which was a promise

Another of a bigger sort, by Mr. Dis's I made her after reading a passage in Pliny's directions, little used.

Epistles. That polite author had been emSix elbow-chairs, very expert in country ployed to find out a consort for his friend's dances, with six fower-pots for their daughter, and gives the following character partners.

of the man he had pitched upon. The whiskers of a Turkish Bassa.

Aciliano plurimum vigoris et industriæ The complexion of a murderer, in a band- quanquam in maxima verecundia : est illi box; consisting of a large piece of burnt facies liberalis, multo sanguine, multo rucork, and a coal-black peruke.

bore, suffusa: est ingenua totius corporis A suit of clothes for a ghost, viz, a bloody pulchritudo, et quidam senatorius decor, shirt, a doublet curiously pinked, and a coat quæ ego nequaquam arbitror negligenda; with three great eyelet-holes upon the breast. debet enim hoc castitati puellarum quasi A bale of red Spanish wool.

præmium dari, Modern plots, commonly known by the “ Acilianus is a man of extraordinary vináme of trap-doors, ladders of ropes, vizard- gour and industry, accompanied with the masques, and tables with broad carpets over greatest modesty. He has very much of them.

the gentleman, with a lively colour, and Three oak-cudgels, with one of crab-tree: Aush of health in his aspect. His whole all bought for the use of Mr. Pinkethman.

person is finely turned, and speaks him a Materials for dancing; as masques, casta- man of quality : which are qualifications, nets, and a ladder of ten rounds.

that, I think, ought by no means to be overlooked, and should be bestowed on a daugh- in our bones, insomuch that we did not reter as the reward of her chastity.”

cover our health and legs, till Sir Walter A woman that will give herself liberties, Bickerstaffe married Maud the milkmaid, need not put her parents to so much trouble; of whom the then Garter king at arms (a for if she does not possess these ornaments facetious person) said pleasantly, enough, in a husband, she can supply herself else- “That she had spoiled our blood, but menwhere. But this is not the case of my sister ded our constitutions." Jenny, who, I may say, without vanity, is as After this account of the effect our pruunspotted a spinster as any in Great Britain. dent choice of matches has had upon our I shall take this occasion to recommend the persons and features, I cannot but observe, conduct of our own family in this particular. that there are daily instances of as great

We have in the genealogy of our house, changes made by marriage upon mens' minds the descriptions and pictures of our ancestors and humours. One might wear any passion from the tíme of King Arthur; in whose days out of a family by culture, as skilful gardenthere was one of my own name, a knight of ers blot a colour out of a tulip that hurts its his round table, and known by the name of beauty. One might produce an affable temSir Isaac Bickerstaffe. He was low of sta- per out of a shrew, by grafting the mild upon ture, and of a very swarthy complexion, not the choleric; or raise a jackpudding from unlike a Portuguese Jew. But he was more a prude, by inoculating mirth and melanprudent than men of that height usually are, choly. It is for want of care if the dispoand would often communicate to his friends sing of our children, with regard to our bohis design of lengthening and whitening his dies and minds, that we go into a house, and posterity. His eldest son Ralph (for that see such different complexions and humours was his name) was, for this reason, married in the same race and family. But to me it to a lady who had little else to recommend is as plain as a pike-staff, from what mixture her, but that she was very tall and fair. The it is, that this daughter silently lowers, the issue of this match, with the help of his other steals a kind look at you, a third is exshoes, made a tolerable figure in the next actly well behaved, a fourth a splenetic, and age; though the complexion of the family a fifth a coquette. was obscure, until the fourth generation from In this disposal of my sister, have chothat marriage. From which time, until the sen, with an eye to her being a wit, and proreign of William the Conqueror, the females vided, that the bridegroom be a man of a of our house were famous for their needle- sound and excellent judgment, who will selwork, and fine skins. In the male line there dom mind what she says when she begins to happened an unlucky accident, in the reign harangue: for Jenny's only imperfection is of Richard the Third, the eldest son of Phi- an admiration of her parts, which inclines lip, then chief of the family, being born with her to be a little, but a very little, sluttish; a hump-back, and very high nose. This and you are ever to remark, that we are was the more astonishing, because none of apt to cultivate most, and bring into obserhis forefathers ever had such a blemish; nor vation, what we think most excellent in ourindeed was there any in the neighborhood of selves, or most capable of improvement. that make, except the butler, who was noted Thus my sister, instead of consulting her for round shoulders and a Roman nose : what glass and her toilet for an hour and an half made the nose the less excusable, was the after her private devotion, sits with her nose remarkable smallness of his eyes.

full of snuff, and a man's nightcap on her These several defects were mended by head, reading plays and romances. Her succeeding matches ; his eyes were opened wit she thinks her distinction; therefore in the next generation, and the hump fell in knows nothing of the skill of dress, or maa century and a half ; but the greatest diffi- king her person agreeable. It would make culty was how to reduce the nose; which I do you laugh, to see me often with my spectanot find was accomplished till about the mid-cles on lacing her stays; for she is so very a dle of Henry the Seventh's reign, or rather wit, that she understands no ordinary thing the beginning of that of Henry the Eighth. in the world.

But while our ancestors were thus taken For this reason I have disposed of her to up in cultivating the eyes and nose, the face a man of business, who will soon let her see, of the Bickerstaffe's fell down insensibly into that to be well dressed, in good humour, and chin; which was not taken notice of their cheerful in the command of her family, are thoughts being so much employed upon the the arts and sciences of female life. I could more noble features) till it became almost too have bestowed her upon a fine gentleman, long to be remedied.

who extremely admired her wit, and would But length of time, and successive care in have given her a coach and six : but I found our alliances, have cured this also, and re- it absolutely necessary to cross the strain; duced our faces into that tolerable oval for had they met, they had eternally been which we enjoy at present. I would not be rivals in discourse, and in continual contentedious in this discourse, but cannot but ob- tion for the superiority of understanding, serve, that our race suffered very much about and brought forth critics, pedants, or pretty three hundred years ago, by the marriage of good poets. one of her heiresses with an eminent cour- As it is, I expect an offspring fit for the tier, who gave us spindle-shanks, and cramps i habitation of city, town, or country; creatures that are docile and tractable in what- but my design is to treat only of those who ever we put them to.

have chiefly proposed to themselves the latTo convince men of the necessity of ta- ter as the principal reward of their labours. king this method, let any one, even below It was for this reason that I excluded from the skill of an astrologer, behold the turn of my tables of fame all the great founders and faces he meets as soon as he passes Cheap- votaries of religion ; and it is for this reason side Conduit, and you see a deep attention, also, that I am more than ordinarily anxious and a certain unthinking sharpness, in every to do justice to the persons of whom I am countenance. They look attentive, but their now going to speak; for since fame was the thoughts are engaged on mean purposes. To only end of all their enterprizes and studies, me it is very apparent, when I see a citizen a man cannot be too scrupulous in allotting pass by, whether his head is upon woollen, them their due proportion of it. It was this silks, iron, sugar, indigo, or stocks. Now consideration which made me call the whole this trace of thought appears or lies hid in body of the learned to my assistance; to mathe race for two or three generations. ny of whom I must own my obligations for

I know at this time a person of a vast es- the catalogues of illustrious persons which tate, who is the immediate descendant of a they have sent me in upon this occasion. I fine gentleman, but the great-grandson of a yesterday employed the whole afternoon in broker, in whom his ancestor is now revived. comparing them with each other; which He is a very honest gentleman in his princi- made so strong an impression upon my imaples, but cannot for his blood talk fairly: he gination, that they broke my sleep for the is heartily sorry for it; but he cheats by con- first part of the following night, and at length stitution, and over-reaches by instinct. threw me into a very agreeable vision, which

The happiness of the man who marries I shall beg leave to describe in all its partimy sister will be, that he has no faults to culars. correct in her but her own, a little bias of I dreamed that I was conveyed into a wide fancy, or particularity of manners, which and boundless plain, that was covered with grew in herself, and can be amended by her. prodigious multitudes of people, which no From such an untainted couple, we can hope man could number. In the midst of it there to have our family rise to its ancient splen- stood a mountain, with its head above the dour of face, air, countenance, manner, and clouds. The sides were extremely steep, shape, without discovering the product of and of such a particular structure, that no ten nations in one house. Obadiah Green- creature, which was not made in a human hat says, he never comes into any company figure, could possibly ascend it. On a sudin England, but he distinguishes the different den there was heard from the top of it, a nations of which we are composed: there is sound like that of a trumpet; but so exceedscarce such a living creature as a True Bri- ing sweet and harmonious, that it filled the ton. We sit down, indeed, all friends, ac- hearts of those who heard it with raptures, quaintance, and neighbours; but after two | and gave such high and delightful sensations, bottles, you see a Dane start up and swear, as seemed to animate and raise human na“The kingdom is his own.” A Saxon drinks ture above itself. This made me very much up the whole quart, and swears, “He will amazed to find so very few in that innumedispute that with him.” A Norman tells rable multitude, who had ears fine enough them both, “He will assert his liberty :" to hear or relish this music with pleasure: And a Welshman cries, " They are all for- but my wonder abated, when, upon looking eigners, and intruders of yesterday," and round 'me, I saw most of them attentive to beats them out of the room. Such ac- three sirens, clothed like goddesses, and discidents happen frequently among neigh- tinguished by the names of Sloth, Ignorance, bours' children, and cousin-germans. For and Pleasure. They were seated on three which reason I say, “Study your race, or rocks, amidst a beautiful variety of groves, the soil of your family will dwindle into cits meadows, and rivulets, that lay on the boror 'squires, or run up into wits or madmen.”* ders of the mountain. While the base and

groveling multitude of different nations, ranks and ages, were listening to these delusive de

ities, those of a more erect aspect, and exNo. 81.] Saturday, October 15, 1709.

alted spirit, separated themselves from the Hic manus ob patriam pugnando vulnera passi,

rest, and marched in great bodies towards Quique pii Vates & Phæbo digna locuti,

the mountain from whence they heard the Inventas aut qui vitam excoluere per artes, sound, which still grew sweeter the more Quique sui memores alios fecere merendo.–Virg.

they listened to it. From my own Apartment, October 14. On a sudden, methought this select band There are two kinds of immortality; that sprang forward, with a resolution to climb which the soul really enjoys after this life, the ascent, and follow the call of that and that imaginary existence by which men heavenly music. Every one took something live in their fame and reputation. The best with him that he thought might be of assist and greatest actions have proceeded from the ance to him in his march. Several had their prospect of the one or the other of these; swords drawn; some carried rolls of paper

in their hands, some had compasses, others * Sir Richard Steele assisted in this paper. quadrants, others telescopes, and others pen

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