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justice of peace, who is lord of the manor- Luc. So! give it me. Haw, Come, come, never mind the act; let
[Reads the Letter to herself. me tell you, this is a very proper, a very use- Hodge. Lord a inercy! how my arm achs ful meeting; I want a servant or two myself
, with beațing that plaguy beast:, INI be bang'd I must go see what your market affords ;- if I won'na rather hal thrash'd balf a day, and you shall
go, and the girls, my little Lucy than ha' ridden ber. and ihe other young rogue, and we'll make a Luc. Well, Hodge, you have done your day on't as well as the rest.
business very well. Jus. W. I wish, master Hawthorn, I could Hodge. Well, have not I now? teach you to be a little more sedate: why Luc. Yes-Mr. Eustace tells me in this letter, won't you take pattern by me, and consider that he will be in the green lane, at the other your dignity? - Odds heart, I don't wonder end of the village, by twelve o'clock – You you are not a rich man; you laugh too much know where he came before. ever to be rich.
Hodge. Ay, ay. Haw. Right, neighbour Woodcock! health, Luc. Well
, you must go there; and wait good humour, and competence, is my motto: till he arrives, and watch your opportunity to and, if my executors have a mind, they are introduce him, across the fields, into the little welcome to make it my epitaph.
summer-house, on the left side of the garden.
Hodge. That's enough. The honest heart, whose thoughts are clear
Luc. But take particular care that nobody
sees you. From fraud, disguise, and guile, Need neither fortune's frowning fear,
Hodge. I warrant you. Nor court the harlot's smile.
Luc. Nor for your life drop a word of it
lo any mortal.
Luc. And, Hodge-
Well, well, say no more;
told me before; Luc. Hist, hist, Hodge!
I see the full length of my tether; Hodge. Who calls? here ain I.
Do you think I'm a fool, Luc. Well, have you been?
That I need go to school? Hodge. Been, ay, I ba' been far enough, I can spell you and put you together. an that be all: you never knew any thing fali
A word to the wise, out so crossly in your born days. Luc. Why, what's the matter?
Will always suffice; Hodge. Why you know, I dare not take a
Addsniggers, go talk to your parrot;
I'm not such an elf, horse out of his worship's stables this morning, for fear it should be missed, and breed ques
Though I say it myself,
But I know a tions; and our old nag at home was so cruelly
sheep's head from a carro!.
(Erk beat i'th' hoofs, that, poor beast, it had not a foot to set to ground; so I was fain to go to Luc. How severe is my case! Here I am farmer Ploughshare's, at the Grange, to bor- obliged to carry on a clandestine correspondence row the loan of bis bald filly; and, would you with a man in all respects my equal, because think it? after walking all that wayde'el from the oddity of my father's temper is such, that me, if the crossgrained load did not deny me I dare not tell him I have ever yet seen the the favour,
person I should like to marry But perhaps Luc. Unlucky!
he has quality in his eye, and hopes, one day · Hodge. Well, then I went my ways to the or other, as I am his only child, to match me King'shead in the village, but all their cattle with a title-vain imagination! were at plough: and I was as far to seek below at the turnpike: so at last, for want of
A I R. a belter, I was forced to take up with dame Cupid, god of soft persuasion, Quicksei's blind mare.
Take the helpless lover's part: Luc. Oh, then you have been?
Seize, oh 'scize some kind occasion, Hodge. Yes, yes, I ha' been.
To reward a faithful heart. Luc. Pshaw! Why did not you
Justly those we tyrants call, at once? Hodge. Ay, but I have had a main tire
Who the body would enthral; some jaunt on't, for she is a sorry jade at best.
Tyrants of more cruel kind, Luc. Well, well, did you see Mr. Eustace,
Those, who would enslave the mind. and what did he say to you?--Come, quick- What is grandeur? foe to rest, have you e'er a letter?
Childish mummery at best. Hodge. Yes, be gave me a letter, if I ha'na' Happy I in humble stale; lost it.
Catch, ye fools, the glittering bait. Luc. Lost it, man! Hodge. Nay, nay, have a bit of patience: SCENE III.-A Field with a Stile. adwawns, you are always in such a burry [Rummaging his Pockets] I put it some
Enter Hodge, followed by MADGE. where in this waiscoat pocket. On, bere Hodge. What does the wench follow the it is.
for? Odds flesh, folk may well talk, to see sea
dangling after me every where, like a tantony. I wish I was a maid again, pig); hind some other road, can't you; and And in my own country.
[E.rit. don't keep wberreling me with
. Madge. Nay, pray you, Hodge, stay, and Scene 1:- A Green, with the Prospect of let me speak to you a bit.
a Village, and the Representation of
Statute or Fair.
Enter Justice Woodcock, HAWTHORN, Mrs. barbarous? and is this the way you serve me
Deborah Woodcock, LUCINDA, ROSETTA, after all; and won't you keep your word, Hodge?
young MEADOWS, Hodge, and several Hodge. Why no I won't, I tell you; I have
country People. chang'd my mind.
Hodge. This way, your worship, this way. Madge. Nay but surely, surely - Consider Why don't you stand aside there?' Here's his Hodge, you are obligated in conscience to worship a coming make me an honest woman.
Countrymen. His worship! Hodge. Obligated in conscience! How am Jus. W. Fie, fie, what a crowd's this! Odd, I obligated ?
I'll put some of them in the stocks. [Striking Madge. Because you are; and none but the a Fellow] Stand out of the way, sirrab. basest of rogues would bring, a poor girl to Haw. For shame, veighbour. Well, my lad, sbame, and afterwards leave her to the wide are you willing to serve the king? world.
Countryman. Why, can you list me? Serve Hodge. Bring you to shame! Don't make the king, master? no, no, I pay the king, that's me speak, Madge; don't make me speak. enough for me. Ho, ho, ho! Madge. Yes dio, speak your worst.
Haw. Well said, Sturdy-boots. Hodge. Why then, if you go to that, you Jus. W. Nay, if you talk to them, they'll were sain lo leave your own village down in answer you. the west, for a baslard you had by the clerk Haw. I would have them do so, I like they of the parish, and I'll bring the man shall say should.-Well, madam, is not this 'a fine sight? it to your face.
I did not know my neighbour's estate bad Madge. No, no, Hodge, 'tis no such thing, been so well peopled.--Are all these his own 'tis a base lie of farmer Ploughshare's—But I tenants ? know what makes you false-hearted to me, Mrs. D. More than are good of them, Mr. that you may keep company with young ma- Hawihorn. I don't like to see such a parcel dam's waiting-woman; and I am sure she's of young bussies fleering with the fellows. no fit body for a poor man's wife.
Haw. There's a lass. [Beckoning too Hodge. How should you know wbat she's country Girl]-Come bither, my pretty maid. fit for. She's fit for as much as you, may-What brings you here? [Chucking her under bap; don't find fault with your betters, Madge. the Chin] Do you come to look for a service?
Country G. Yes, an't please you.
Haw. Well, and what place are you for? Oh! master Thomas, I have a word or two Country G. All work, an't please you. to say to you; pray did not you go down the Jus. W. Aý, ay, I don't doubt it; any work village one day last week with a basket of you'll put her to. something upon your shoulder?
Mrs. D. She looks like a brazen one- -Go, Young M. Well, and what then?
bussy. Hodge. Nay, not much, only the hostler at Haw. Here's another. [Catching a Girl !hat the Greenman was saying, as how there was goes by] Wbat health, what bloom!- This is a passenger at their bouse as see'd you go by, nalure's work; no art, no daubing. Don't be and said he know'd you; and axt a mort of asham'd, cbild; those cheeks of thine are enough questions-So I thought I'd tell you. to put a whole drawing-room out of counte
Young M. The devil! ask questions about nance. me! I know nobody in this part of the coun- Hodge. Now, your honour, now the sport try; there must be some mistake in it.- Come will come: The gut-scrapers are here, and bither, Hodge.
[Exit with Hodge. some among them are going to sing and dance. Madge. À nasty, ungrateful fellow, to use Why there's not the like of our statute, mun, me at this rate, after being to him as I have.- in five counties; others are but fools to it. Well, well, I wish all poor girls would take Servant-man. Come, good people, make a warning by my mishap, and never have nothing ring; and stand out, fellow servants, as many to say to none of them.
of you as are willing, and able, to bear a bob"). We'll let my masters and mistresses
see we can do something at least; if they How happy were my days, till now! won't bire us, it shan't be our fault. Strike I ne'er did sorrow feel;
up the Servants' Medley: I rose with joy to milk my cow,
MEDLEY and CHORUS. • Or turn my spinning-wheel.
Housem. I pray ye, gentles, list to me:
I'm My heart was lighter than a fly,
young, and strong, and clean, you see: Like any bird I sung,
I'll not turn tail to any she,
For work that's in the county.
Of all your house the charge I take,
I wash, I scrut, I brew, I bake; Oh the fool, the silly, silly fool,
And more can do than here I'll speak, Who trusts what man may be;
Depending on your bounty. 1) St. Anthony's pig.
1) To take a part in the song.
Foolm. Behold a blade, who knows his trade Luc. My father, and my aunt !
Eust. The devil! What shall we do?
, I can dress, and comb, and share; unless the justice was at home; be is just For I a handy lad am:
stepp'd into ihe village with some company; On a message I caq go,
but, if you'll sit down a moment, I dare swear And slip a billet-doux,
he will returo—[Prelends to see the Justice] With your humble servant, madam. -O! sir, bere is my papa! Cookm. Who wants a good cook, my band! Jus. W. Here is your papa, bussy! Who's they must cross;
this you have got with you? Hark you, sirrab, For plain wholesome dishes I'm ne'er at a loss; who are you, ye dog ? and wbat's your busiAnd what are your soups, your ragouts, and ness bere? your sauce,
Eust. Sir, this is a language I am not used to. Compard to the beef of old England,
Jus. W. Don't answer me, you rascal-I am Compar'd to old English roast beef? a justice of the peace; and if I hear a word Carl. If you want a young man, with a out of your mouth, I'll send you to jail, for true honest beart,
all your lac'd hat. Who knows how to manage a plough and a Úrs. D. Send him to jail, brother, that's right. cari,
Jus. W. And how do you know it's right? Here's one for your purpose, come take me How should you know any things right?
Sister Deborah, you are never in the right. You'll say you ne'er met with a better nor I. Mrs. D. Brother, this is the man I have been
Ge ho, Dobbin, etc. telling you about so long. Chorus. My masters and mistresses, bither Jus. W. What man, goody Wiseacre? repair;
Mrs. D. Why the man your daughter has What servants you want, you'll find in our fair; an intrigue with: but I hope you will not beMen and maids fit for all sorts of stations liese it now, though you see it with your own there be;
eyes-Come, hussy, confess, and don't let your And, as for the wages, we shan't disagree. father make a fool of himself any longer.
Luc. Confess what, aunt? This gentleman ACT II.
is a music-master: he goes about the country, Scene I. – A Parlour in JUSTICE Wood-teaching ladies to play and sing; and has been Cock's House.
recommended to instruct me; I could not turn
him out when be came to offer his service; Enter LUCINDA and EUSTÁCE. and did not know what answer to give bim Luc. Well, am I not a bold adventurer, to till I saw my papa. bring you into my father's house at noon-day? Jus. W. Á music-master? Though, to say the truth, we are safer bere Eust. Yes, sir, that's my profession. than in the garden; for there is not a human Mrs. D. It's a lie, 'young man; it's a lie. creature under the roof besides ourselves. Brother, he is no more a music-master, than
Eust. Then why not put our scheme into I am a music-master. execution this moment? 'I have a post-chaise Jus. W. What then you know better than ready.
the fellow himself, do you ? and you will be Luc. Fie: how can you talk so lightly? I wiser than all the world? protest I am afraid to have any thing to do Mrs. D. Brother, he does not look like a with you; and my aunt Deborah says
music-master. Eust. What! by all the raplure my heart Jus. W. He does not look! ha! ha! ha! now feels
Was ever such a poor stupe! Well, and what Luc. Oh, to be sure, promise and vow; it does he look like, then? But I suppose you sounds'prellily, and never fails to impose upon mean he is not dressed like a music-master. a fond female.
Why, you silly wretch, these whipper-snappers Eust. Well, I see you've a mind to divert set up for gentlemen now
w-a-days, and give yourself with me; but I wish I could prevail themselves as many airs as if they were people on you to be a little serious.
of quality. - Hark you, friend, I suppose Luc. Seriously then, what would you desire you don'i come within the vagrant act ? You me to say? I bave promised to run away with have some settled habitation-'Where do you you; which is as great a concession as any live? reasonable lover can expect from his mistress. Mrs. D. It's an easy malter for him to tell
Eust. Yes; but, you dear provoking angel, you a wrong place. you have not told me when you will run away Jus. W. Sister Deborah, don't provoke me. with me.
Mrs. D. I wish, brother, you would let me Luc. Why that, I confess, requires some examine him a little. consideration.
Jus. W. You shan't say a word to him, you Eust. Yet remember, while you are deliber- shan't say a word to hini. ating, the season, now so favourable to us, Mrs. D. She says he was recommended bere, may clapse, never to return.
brother; ask bim by wbom.
Jus. W. No, I won't now, because you Enter Justice Woodcock and Mrs. DEBO-desire it. RAH WOODCOCK.
Luc. If my papa did ask the question, aual, Jus. W. Hoily-toity; who have we here? it would be very easily resolved.
Mrs. D. Wbo bid you speak, Mrs. Nimble- Then hoity-toity, chops ? I suppose tbe man has a longue in Whisking, frisking, his head to answer for himself.
Green was her gown upon the grass ; Jus. W. Will nobody stop that prating old Oh! such were the joys of our dancing days. woman's mouth for me? Get out of the room. Eust. Very well, sir, upon my word.
Mrs. D. Well, so I can, brother; I don't Jus. W. No, no, I forget all those things want to stay: but, remember, I tell you, you now; but I could do a little at them once;-will make yourself ridiculous in this affair: Well, stay and eat your dinner, and we'll for through your own obstinacy, you will have talk about your teaching the girl - Lucy, take your daughter run away with, before your face. your master to your spinnet, and show him
Jus. W. My daughter! who will run away what you can do-I must go and give some with my daughter?
orders; then hoity-loity, etc.
[Exit. Mrs. D. That fellow will.
Luc. My sweet, pretty papa, your most obeJus. W. Go, go, you are a wicked, censo- dient humble servant; ha, ha, ha! was ever rious woman.
so whimsical an accident? Well, sir, what do Luc. Why sure, madam, you must think you think of this ? me very forward, indeed.
Eust. Think of il! I am in amaze. Jus. W. Ay, she judges of others by herself; Luc. O your awkwardness! I was frightenI remember when she was a girl, her mother ed out of my wils, lest you should not take dared not trust her the length of her apron-the hint; and, if I had not turned matters so string; she was clambering upon every fel- cleverly, we should bave been utlerly undone. low's back.
Eust. 'Sdeath! why would you bring me Mrs. D. I was not.
into the house? we could expect nothing else: Jus. W. You were.
besides, since they did surprise us, it would Luc. Well, but why so violent ?
have been better to have discovered the truth.
Luc. Yes, and never have seen one another
afterwards. I know my father better than you, Believe me, dcar aunt,
do; he has taken it into his head I have no If you rave thus and rant,
inclination for a husband; and let me tell you You'll never a lover persuade; that is our best security; for if once he bas The men will all fly,
said a thing, he will not be easily persuaded And leare you to die,
to the contrary, Oh, terrible chance! an old maid.
Eust. And pray what am I to do now? How happy the lass,
Luc. Why, as I think all danger is pretty Must she come to this pass,
well over, since he hath invited you to dinner Who ancient virginity 'scapes !
with him, stay; only be cautious of your be"Twere better on earth
haviour; and, in the mean time, I will consiHave five brats at a birth,
der what is next to be done. Than in bell be a leader of apes.
Eust. Had not I better go to your father? [Exit Mrs. D. Luc. Do so, while I endeavour to recover
myself a little out of the flurry this affair has Jus. W. Well done, Lucy, send her about put me in.
[Exeunt. ber business; a troublesome, foolish creature, does she think I want to be directed by her?
SCENE II.- A Garden. Come bither, my lad, you look tolerable
Enter Rosetta, musing. honest.
Ros. If erer poor crcature was in a pitiable Eust. I hope, sir, I shall never give you condition, surely I am. The devil take this cause to alter your opinion.
fellow, I cannoi get him out of my head; and Jus: W. No, no, I am not easily deceived, yet I would fain persuade myself I don't care I am generally pretty right in my conjectures. for bim: well, but surely l am not in love:
- You must know, I had once a little notion let me examine my heart'a Ntle: I saw him of music myself, and learned upon the fiddle; kissing one of the maids the other day ; I could I could play the Trumpet Minuet, and But- hare boxed his ears for it, and have done tered Peas, and two or three tunes. I remem- nothing but find fault and quarrel with the ber, when I was in London, about thirty years girl ever since. Why was I uncasy at his ago, there was a song, a great favourite alioying with another woman? what was it to our club at Nando's Coffee-liouse; Jack Pickle me? Then I dream of him almost every night used to sing it for us, a droll fish! but 'tis an-but that may proceed from his being gene. old thing, lodare swear you have heard of it rally uppermost in my thoughts all day :-Oh! often.
worse and worse!-Well, he is certainly, a
pretty lad; be has something uncommon about When I followed a lass that was froward him, considering bis rank:-And now let me and shy,
only, put the case, if he was not a servant, Oh! I stuck to her stuff, till I made her would I, or would I not, prefer him to all the comply;
men I ever saw? Why, to be sure, if he was Oh! I took her so lovingly round the waist, not a servant- In short, I'll ask myself po And I smack'd her lips and held her fast: more questions, for the further I examine, the When bugg'd and bauld,
less reason I shall have to be satisfied. She squeal'd and squall'd; But, though she vow'd all I did was in vain, Yet'I pleas'd her so well that she bore it How bless'd the maid, whose bosom again :
No headstrong passion knows;
A I R.
Her days in joy she passes,
Ros. When things are not fit, Her nights in calm repose.
We should calmly submit; Where'er her fancy leads her,
No cure in reluctance we find: No pain, no fear invades her;
Young M. Then thus I obey,
Tear your image away,
And banish you quite from my From every object flows.
Ros. Well, now I think I am somewhat Enter Young Meadows.
I am glad I have come to this explaYoung M. Do you come into the garden, nation with him, because it puts an end to Mrs. Rosetta, to put my lilies and roses out things at once. of countenance; or, to save me the trouble of Young M. Hold, Mrs. Rosetta, pray stay a watering my flowers, by reviving, them? The moment -The airs this girl gives herself are sun seems to have hid himself a little, to give intolerable: I find now the cause of her beyou an opportunity of supplying his place. haviour; she despises the meanness of my con
Ros. Where could he get that now? he dition, thinking a gardener below the notice never read it in the Academy of Compliments. of a lady's waiting-woman: 'sdeath, I have a
Young M. Come, don't affect to treat me good mind to discover myself to her. wilb contempt; I can suffer any thing better Ros. Poor 'wretch! he does not know what than that. In short, I love you; there is no to make of it: I believe he is heartily mortimore to be said: I am angry with myself for fied, but I must not pity him. it, and strive all I can against it; but, in spite Young M. It shall 'bé so: I will discover of myself, I love you.
myself to her, and leave the house directly Ros. Really, Mr. Thomas, this is very im- Mrs. Rosetta-[Starting back)-Plague on it, proper language; it is what I don't understand; yonder's the justice come into the garden! can't suffer it, and, in short, I don't like it. Ros. O Lord! be will walk round this Young M. Perhaps you don't like me? pray go about your business; I would not for Ros. Well, perhaps I don't.
ihe world he should see us togelber. Young M. Nay, but 'tis not so; come, con- Young M. The devil take him; he's gone fess you
across the parterre, and can't bobble bere this Ros. Confess! indeed I shall confess no such balf bour: must and will have a little conthing: besides, to what purpose should I con- versation with you. fess it?
Ros. Some other time. Young M. Why, as you say, I don't know Young M. This evening, in the greenhouse, to what purpose; only, it would be a satis- at the lower end of the canal; I have somefaction to me to hear you say so; that's all. thing to communicate to you of importance.
Ros. Why, if I did love you, I can assure Will you meet me there? you, you would never be the better for it- Ros. Meet you! Women are apt enough to be weak! we can- Young M. Ay; I have a secret to tell you; not always answer for our inclinations, but it and I swear, from that moment, there shall be is in our power not to give way to them; an end of every thing betwixt us. and if I was so silly, I say if I was so indis- Ros. Well, well, pray leave me now. creet, which I hope I am not, as to entertain Young M. You'll come then ? an improper regard, when people's circum- Ros. I don't know, perhaps I may. stances are quite unsuitable, and there are Young M. Nay, but promise. obstacles in the way that cannol be surmounted- Ros. What signifies promising; I may
break Young M. Ob! to be sure, Mrs. Rosella, to my promise-but, I tell you, I will. be sure: you are entirely in the right of it, Young M. Enough-Yet, before I leave you, I-know very well you and I can never come let me desire you to believe, I love you more together.
than ever man loved woman; and that when 'Ros. Well then, since that is the case, as I relinquish you, I give up all that can make I assure you it is, I think we had better be- my life supportable. have accordingly.
Young M. Suppose we make a bargain, then, never to speak to one another any more? Oh! how shall I, in language weak, Ros. With all my beart.
My ardent passion tell; Young M. Nor look at, nor if possible think Or form my falt'ring tongue to speak of, one another?
That cruel word, farewell? Ros. I am very willing.
Farewell—but know, though thus we part,
Must with my charmer stay.
Enter JUSTICE WOODCOCK.
tell me? I have a strange curiosity to bear it, Ros.
Already, the matter. I've sworn: Ros. So, I thought the devil would throw Young M. Yet let me complain
him in my way; now for a courtship of a Of the fates that ordain- different kind;
but I'll give bim a surfeit-Did A trial so bard to be borne. you call me, sir?
A I R.