ACT FIFTH

Scene I

[A room in the Garter Inn.]

Enter Falstaff and Mistress Quickly.

Fal. Prithee, no more prattling; go. I'll hold.
This is the third time; I hope good luck
lies in odd numbers. Away! go. They say
there is divinity in odd numbers, either in
nativity, chance, or death. Away!
Quick. I'll provide you a chain; and I'll do
what I can to get you a pair of horns.
Fal. Away, I say; time wears.

head, and mince.

[Enter Ford.]

Hold up your

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[Exit Mrs. Quickly.]

How now, Master Brook! Master Brook, the 10 matter will be known to-night, or never.

Be

you in the park about midnight, at Herne's
oak, and you shall see wonders.

Ford. Went you not to her yesterday, sir, as you

told me you had appointed?

Fal. I went to her, Master Brook, as you see, like a poor old man; but I came from her, Master Brook, like a poor old woman. That same knave Ford, her husband, hath the

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finest mad devil of jealousy in him, Master
Brook, that ever govern'd frenzy. I will tell
you. He beat me grievously, in the shape of a
woman; for in the shape of man, Master Brook,
I fear not Goliath with a weaver's beam; be-
cause I know also life is a shuttle. I am in
haste; go along with me. I'll tell you all, Mas-
ter Brook. Since I pluck'd geese, play'd truant
and whipp'd top, I knew not what 'twas to
be beaten till lately. Follow me.
I'll tell you
strange things of this knave Ford, on whom to-
night I will be revenged, and I will deliver his 30
wife into your hand. Follow. Strange things
in hand, Master Brook! Follow.

SCENE II

[Windsor Park.]

Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.

Exeunt.

Page. Come, come; we'll couch i' the castleditch till we see the light of our fairies. Remember, son Slender, my daughter.

Slen. Ay, forsooth; I have spoke with her and

we have a nay-word how to know one an-
other. I come to her in white, and cry
"mum"; she cries "budget"; and by that we
know one another.

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Shal. That's good too; but what needs either

your "mum" or her "budget"? The white 10 will decipher her well enough. It hath struck ten o'clock.

Page. The night is dark; light and spirits will become it well. Heaven prosper our sport! No man means evil but the devil, and we shall 15 know him by his horns. Let's away; follow

me.

SCENE III

[A street leading to the Park.]

Exeunt.

Enter Mistress Page, Mistress Ford, and Doctor Caius.
Mrs. Page. Master Doctor, my daughter is in
green. When you see your time, take her
by the hand, away with her to the deanery,
and dispatch it quickly. Go before into the
park; we two must go together.

Caius. I know vat I have to do. Adieu.
Mrs. Page. Fare you well, sir. [Exit Caius.]
My husband will not rejoice so much at the
abuse of Falstaff as he will chafe at the doc-
tor's marrying my daughter. But 'tis no mat-
ter; better a little chiding than a great deal
of heart-break.

Mrs. Ford. Where is Nan now and her troop of
fairies, and the Welsh devil Hugh?

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Mrs. Page. They are all couched in a pit hard 15

by Herne's oak, with obscur'd lights; which, at the very instant of Falstaff's and our meeting, they will at once display to the night. Mrs. Ford. That cannot choose but amaze him. Mrs. Page. If he be not amaz'd, he will be mock'd; 20 if he be amaz'd, he will every way be mock'd.

Mrs. Ford. We'll betray him finely.

Mrs. Page. Against such lewdsters and their lechery Those that betray them do no treachery.

Enter Sir Hugh Evans [disguised], and [others as] Fairies.

Evans. Trib, trib, fairies; come; and remember

your parts. Be pold, I pray you. Follow
me into the pit, and when I give the watch-
'ords, do as I pid you. Come, come; trib,
trib.

SCENE V

[Another part of the Park.]

Exeunt.

Enter Falstaff with a buck's head upon him. Fal. The Windsor bell hath struck twelve; the minute draws on. Now, the hot-blooded gods assist me! Remember, Jove, thou wast a bull

for thy Europa; love set on thy horns. 0
powerful Jove! that, in some respects, makes
a beast a man, in some other, a man a beast.
You were also, Jupiter, a swan for the love of
Leda. O omnipotent Love! how near the god
drew to the complexion of a goose! A fault
done first in the form of a beast. O Jove, a
beastly fault! And then another fault in the
semblance of a fowl; think on't, Jove; a foul
fault! When gods have hot backs, what shall
poor men do? For me, I am here a Windsor
stag; and the fattest, I think, i' the forest. Send
me a cool rut-time, Jove, or who can blame me
to piss my tallow? Who comes here? My doe?

Enter Mistress Ford and Mistress Page.

Mrs. Ford. Sir John! art thou there, my deer? my male deer ?

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Fal. My doe with the black scut! Let the sky 20 rain potatoes; let it thunder to the tune of "Green Sleeves," hail kissing-comfits and snow eringoes; let there come a tempest of provocation, I will shelter me here.

Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page is come with me, sweet- 25 heart.

Fal. Divide me like a brib'd buck, each a haunch.

I will keep my sides to myself, my shoulders for
the fellow of this walk, and my horns I be-