MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. Scene First. Act First. MESSINA. COURT, BEFORE THE HOUSE Leon. I learn in this letter that Don Pedro of Aragon comes this night to Messina. Balt. He is very near by this; he was not three leagues off when I left him. Leon. How many gentlemen have you lost in this action? Balt. But few of any sort, and none of name. Beat. I pray you, is Signior Montanto returned from the wars, or no? Balt. I know none of that name, lady; there was none such in the army of any sort. Leon. What is he that you ask for, niece? Hero. My cousin means Signior Benedick of Padua. Balt. O, he is returned, and as pleasant as ever he was. Beat. I pray you, how many hath he killed and eaten in these wars ? But how many hath he killed? for indeed, I promise to eat all of his killing. Leon. Faith, niece, you tax Signior Benedick too much; but he 'll be meet with you, I doubt it not. Balt. He hath done good service, lady, in these wars. Beat. You had musty victual, and he hath holp to eat it: he is a very valiant trencher-man, he hath an excellent stomach. Balt. And a good soldier too, lady. Beat. And a good soldier to a lady; but what is he to a lord? Who is his companion now? He hath every month a new sworn brother. Is it possible? Balt. Beat. Very easily possible: he wears his faith but as the fashion of his hat; it ever changes with the next block. Balt. I see, lady, the gentleman is not in your books. Beat. No: an he were, I would burn my study. But, I pray you, who is his companion? Balt. He is most in the company of the right noble Claudio. Beat. O lord! he will hang upon him like a disease; he is sooner caught than the pestilence, and the taker runs presently mad. Heaven help the noble Claudio! if he have caught the Benedick, it will cost him a thousand pound ere he be cured. Don Pedro is approached. [Enter Don Pedro, Don John, Claudio and Benedick, R. U. E. Don P. Good Signior Leonato, are you come to meet your trouble? the fashion of the world is to avoid cost, and you encounter it. Leon. Never came trouble to my house in the likeness of your grace; for trouble being gone, comfort should remain; but when you depart from me, sorrow abides and happiness takes his leave. Don P. You embrace your charge too willingly. I think this is your daughter. [Bowing to Hero. Leon. Her mother hath many times told me so. Bened. Were you in doubt, sir, that you asked her? Leon. Signior Benedick, no; for then were you a child. Don P. You have it full, Benedick: we may guess by this what you are, being a man. Truly the lady fathers herself.- Be happy, lady! for you are like an honourable father. Bened. If Signior Leonato be her father, she would not have his head on her shoulders for all Messina, as like him as she is. [All retire up stage, except Benedick and Beatrice, and converse, C. Beat. I wonder that you will still be talking, Signior Benedick; nobody marks you. Bened. What, my dear lady disdain! are you yet living? Beat. Is it possible disdain should die, while she hath such meet food to feed it as Signior Benedick? Courtesy itself must convert to disdain if you come in her presence. Bened. Then is courtesy a turncoat.-But it is certain I am loved of all ladies, only you excepted: and I would I could find in my heart that I had not a hard heart: for, truly, I love none. Beat. A dear happiness to women; they would else have been troubled with a pernicious suitor. I thank heaven, and my cold blood, I am of your humour for that; I had rather hear my dog bark at a crow than a man swear he loves me. Bened. Heaven keep your ladyship still in that mind! so some gentleman or other shall 'scape a predestinate scratched face. Beat. Scratching could not make it worse, an 't were such a face as yours. Bened. Well, you are a rare parrot-teacher. Beat. A bird of my tongue is better than a beast of yours. |