Poins. Down fell their hose. the court at door, would speak with you : he Fal. Began to give me ground : But I followed says he comes from your father. me close, came in foot and hand; and, with a P. Hen. Give him as much as will make him thought, seven of the eleven I paid. a royal man, and send him back again to my P. Hen. O monstrous ! eleven buckram men mother. grown out of two ! Fal. What manner of man is he? Fal. But, as the devil would have it, three Host. An old man. misbegotten knaves, in Kendal green, came at Fal. What doth gravity out of his bed at midmy back, and let drive at me ;--for it was so night?-Shall I give him his answer? dark, Hal, that thou could'st not see thy hand. P. Hen. 'Pr’ythee do, Jack. P. 'Hen. These lies are like the father thai Fal. 'Faith, and I'll send him packing. (Erit. begets them; gross as a mountain, open, palpa- P. Hen. Now, sirs; by'r lady, you fought fair; ble. Why, thou clay-brained guts: thou knoty -so did you, Peto ;-50 did you, Bardolph ; pated fool; thou whoreson, obscene, greasy tal. you are lions too, you ran away upon instinct, low-keech, you will not touch the true prince, no,-fie! Ful. What, art thou mad ? art thou mad ? is Bard. 'Faith, I ran when I saw others ran. not the truth, the truth? P. Hen. Tell me now in earnest, How came P. Hen. Why, how could'st thou know these Falstaff's sword so hacked ? men in Kendal green, when it was so dark thou Peto. Why, he hacked it with his dagger; and could'st not see thy hand ? come, tell us your said, he would swear truth out of England, but reason; What sayest thou to this? he would make you believe it was done in fight; Poins. Come, your reason, Jack, your reason. and persuaded us to do the like. Fal. What, upon compulsion ? No; were I at Bard. Yea, and to tickle our noses with spear. the strappado, or all the racks in the world, Igrass, to make them bleed; and then to beslubber would not tell you on compulsion. Give you a our garments with it, and to swear it was the reason on compulsion! if reasons were as plenty blood of true men. I did that I did not this as blackberries, I would give no man a reason seven year before, I blushed to hear his monupon compulsion, I. strous devices. P. Hen. "I'll be no longer guilty of this sin : P. Hen. O villain, thou stolest a cup of sack this sanguine coward, this bed-presser, this eighteen years ago, and wert taken with the horse-back-breaker, this huge hill of flesh; manner, and ever since thou hast blushed extemFal. Away, you starveling, you elf-skin, you pore: Thou hast fire and sword on thy side, and dried neat's-tongue, bull's pizzle, you stock-fish, yet thou ran'st away; What instinct hadst thou -0, for breath to utter what is like thee !--you for it? tailor's yard, you sheath, you bow case, you Bard. My lord, do you see these meteors? do vile standing tuck ; you behold these exhalations ? P. Hen. Well, breathe awhile, and then to it P. Hen. I do. again : and when thou hast tired thyself in base Bard. What think you they portend 3 comparisons, hear me speak but this. P. Hen. Hot livers and cold purses. Poins. Mark, Jack. Bard. Choler, my lord, if rightly taken. P. Hen. We iwo saw you four set on four; P. Hen. No, if rightly taken, halter. yon bound them, and were masters of their wealth.—Mark now, how plain a tale shall Re-enter Falstaff. put you down.-Then did we two set on you Here comes lean Jack, here comes bare-bone. four: and, with a word, outfaced you from your How now, my sweet creature of bombast ? How prize, and have it; yea, and can show it you long is't ago, Jack, since thou sawest thine own here in the house :--and, Falstaff, you carried knee? your guts away as nimbly, with as quick dex: Fal. My own knee? when I was about thy terity, and roared for mercy, and still ran and years, Hal, I was not an eagle's talon in the roared, as ever I heard bull-calf. What a slave waist'; I could have crept into an alderman's art thou, to hack thy sword as thou hast done; thumb-ring: a plague of sighing and grief ! it and then say, it was in fight? What trick, what blows a man up like a bladder. There's villadevice, what starting hole, canst thou now find nous news abroad : here was Sir John Bracy out to hide thee from this open and apparent from your father ; You must to the comt in the shaine ? morning. That same mad fellow of the north, Poins. Come, let's hear, Jack ; What trick Percy; and be of Wales, that gave Amaimon Fal. By the Lord, I knew ye, as well as he swore the devil his true liegeman upon the that made ye. Why, hear ye, my masters: Was cross of a Welsh hook,-What, a plague, call it for me to kill the heir apparent ? Should I you him ? torn upon the true prince? Why, thou knowest, Poins. 0, Glendower. I am as valiant as Hercules : but beware in- Ful. Owen, Owen; the same ;-and his sonstinct; the lion will not touch the true prince. in-law, Mortimer; and old Northumberland; Instinct is a great matter ; I was a coward on and that sprightly Scot of Scots, Douglas, that instinct. I shall think the better of myself and runs o' horseback up a hill perpendicular. thee, during my life ; I, for a valiant lion, and P. Hen. He that rides at high speed, and with thou for a true prince. 'But, by the Lord,'lads, his pistol kills a sparrow flying. I am glad you have the money. --Hostess, clap Fal. You have hit it. to the doors; watch to-night, pray to-morrow. P. Hen. So did he never the sparrow. Gallants, lads, boys, hearts of gold, all the Fal. Well, that rascal hath good melle in him; titles of good fellowship come to you! What, he will not run. shall we be merry ? shall we have a play ex P. Hen. Why, what a rascal art thou then, to tempore? praise him so for running? P.'Hen. Content ;-and the argument shall be, Fal. O' horseback, ye cuckoo ! but, afoot, he thy running away. will not budge a foot. Fal. Ah! no more of that, Hal, an thou lovest P. Hen. Yes, Jack, upon instinct. Fal. I grant ye, upon instinct. Well, he is Enter Hostess. there too, and one Mordake, and a thousand Host. My lord the prince, blue-caps more; Worcester is stolen away toP. Hen. How now, my lady the hostess ? what night; thy father's beard is turned white with ay'st thon to me? the news; you may buy land now as cheap am Host. Marry, my lord, there is a nobleman of stinking mackarel. me. P. Hen. Why then, 'tis like, if there come a, the rest banish. And tell me now, thou naughty hot June, and this civil buffeting hold, we shall varlet, tell me, where hast thou been this month ? buy maidenheads as they buy hob-nails, by the P. Hen. Dost thou speak like a king? Do thou hundreds. stand for me, and I'll play my father. Fal. By the mass, lad, thou sayest true; it is Fal. Depose me? if thou dost it half so gravely, like, we shall have good trading that way.- so majestically, both in word and matter, hang But, tell me, Hal, art thou not horribly aseard ? me up by the heels for a rabbit-sucker, or a thou being heir apparent, could the world pick poulter's hare. thce out three such enemies again, as that fiend P. Hen. Well, here I am set. Douglas, that spirit Percy, and that devil Glen-! Fal. And here I stand :-judge, my masters. dower ? Art noi thou horribly afraid ? doth noti P. Hen. Now, Harry? whence come you? thy blood thrill at it? Fal. My noble lord, from Eastcheap: P. Hen. Not a whit, i' faith ; I lack some of P. Hen. The complaints I hear of thee are thy instinct. grievous. Fal. Well, thou wilt be horribly chid to-mor- Fal. 'Sblood, my lord, they are false :-nay, row, when thou comest to thy father: if thou I'll tickle ye for a young prince, i' faith. love me, practise an answer. P. Hen. Swear'st thou, ungracious boy? henceP. Hen. Do thou stand for my father, and exa-forth ne'er look on me. Thou art violently car. mine me upon the particulars of my life. ried away from grace: there is a devil haunts Fal. Shall I ? content:- This chair shall be my thee, in the likeness of a fat old man: a tun of state, this dagger my sceptre, and this cushion man is thy companion. Why dost thou converse my crown with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch P. Hen. Thy state is taken for a joint-stool, of beastliness, that swoln parcel of dropsies, that thy golden sceptre for a leaden dagger, and thy huge bombard of sack, that stuffed 'cloak-bag precious rich crown, for a pitiful bald crown! of gits, that roasted Manningtree ox with the Fal. Well, an the fire of grace be not quite pudding in his belly, that reverend vice, that out of thee, now shalt thou be moved.-Give gray iniquity, that father ruffian, that vanity in me a cup of sack, to make mine eyes look red, years? Wherein is he good, but taste sack that it may be thought I have wept : for I must and drink it? wherein neat and cleanly, but to speak in passion, and I will do it in King Cam- carve a capon and eat it? wherein cunning, but byses' vein. in craft? wherein crafty, but in villany? where. P. Hen. Well, here is my leg. in villanous, but in all things ? wherein worthy, Fal. And here is my speech :-Stand aside, but in nothing ? nobility. Fal. I would, your grace would take me with Host. This is excellent sport, i' faith. you ; Whom means your grace ? Fal. Wecp not, sweet queen, for trickling P. Hen. That villanous abominable misleader tears are vain. of youth, Falstaff, that old white-bearded Satan. Host. O, the father, how he holds his coun Fal. My lord, the man I know. tenance ! P. Hen. I know, thou dost. Fal. For God's sake, lords, convey my tristful Fal. But to say, I know more harm in him queen, than in myself, were to say more than I know. For tears do stop the flood-gates of her eyes. That he is old, (the more the pity,) his white Host. O rare l he doth it as like one of these hairs do witness it : but that he is (saving your harlotry players, as I ever see. reverence) a whoremaster, that I utterly deny. Fal. Peace, good pint-pot; peace, good tickle- If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the brain. -Harry, I do not only marvel where thou wicked! If to he old and merry be a sin, then spendest thy time, but also how thou art accom- many an old host that I know, is damned: it panied : for though the camomile, the more it to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean is trodden on, the faster it grows, yet youth, the kine are to be loved. No, my good lord ; banish more it is wasted, the sooner it wears. 'That Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Poins ; but for thou art my son,'I have partly thy mother's sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true word, partly my own opinion ; but chiefly, a Jack Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaft, and therevillanous trick of thine eye, and a foolish hang fore more valiant, being as he is, old Jack Faling of thy nether lip, that doth warrant me. Ir staff, banish not him thy Harry's company ; then thou be son to me, here lies the point ;- banish plump Jack, and banish all the world. Why, being son to me, art thou so pointed at? P. Hen. I do, I will. [A knocking heard. Shall' the blessed sun of heaven prove a micher, [Exeunt Hostess, Francis, and Bardolph. and eat blackberries? a question not to be asked. Shall the son of England prove a thief, and take Re-enter Bardolph, running. purses ? a question to be asked. There is a Bard, O, my lord, my lord ; the sheriff, with thing, Harry, which thou hast often heard of, a most monstrous watch, is at the door. and it is known to many in our land by the Fal. Out, you rogue! play out the play; 1 name of pitch: this pitch, as ancient writers do have much to say in the behalf of that Falstaff. report, doth defile; so doth the company thou keepest : for, Harry, now I do not speak to Re-enter Hostess, hastily. thec in drink, but in lears; not in pleasure, but Host. O Jesu, my lord ! my lord in passion; not in words only, but in woes Fal. Heigh, 'heigh! the devil rides upon a also :-And yet there is a virtuous man, whom fiddlestick : What's the matter ? I have often noted in thy company, but I know Host. The sheriff and all the watch are at the not his name. door: they are come to search the house ; Sball P. Hen. What manner of man, an it like your I let them in ? majesty'? Fal. Dost thou hear, Hal ? never call a true Fal. A good portly man i' faith, and a cor- piece of gold, a counterfeit: thou art essentially pulent; of a cheerful look, a pleasing eye, and mad, without seeming so. a most noble carriage; and, as I think, his age P. Hen. And thou a natural coward, without some fifty, or, by'r-lady, inclining to threescore: instinct. And now I remember me, his name is Falstaff; Fal. I deny your major: if you will deny the if that man should be lewdly given, he deceiveth sheriff, so ; 'if not, let him enter: if I become me ; for, Harry, I see virtue in his looks. If not a cart as well as another man, a plague on then the tree may be known by the fruit, as the my bringing up! I hope, I shall as soon be fruit oy the tree, then, peremptorily I speak it, strangled with a halter as another. there is virtue in that Falstaffs: him keep with, P. Hen. Go hide thee behind the arras ;-the rest walk up above. Now, my masters, for a The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes, true face, and good conscience. Of burning cressets; and, at my birth, Fal. Both which I have had : but their date is The frame and huge foundation of the earth, out, and therefore I'll hide me. Shak'd like a coward. (Ereunt all but the Prince and Poins. Hot. Why, so it would have done P. Hen. Call in the sheriff. At the same season, if your mother's cat had Enter Sheriff and Carrier. But kitten'd, though yourself had ne'er been born. Glend. I say, the earth did shake when I was Now, master Sheriff'; what's your will with me? born. Sher. First, pardon me, my lord. A hue and cry Hot. And I say, the earth was not of my mind, Hath follow'd certain men unto this house. If you suppose, as tearing you it shook. P. Hen. What men ? Glend. The heavens were all on fire, the earth Sher. One of them is well known, my gracious did tremble. lord, Hot. O, then the earth shook to see the heavens A gross fat man. on fire, Car. As fat as butter. And not in fear of your nativity. P. Hen. The man, I do assure you, is not here; Diseased nature oftentimes breaks forth For I myself at this time have employ'd him. In strange eruptions: oft the teeming carth And, Sheriff, I will engage my word to thee, Is with a kind of colick pinch'd and vex'd That I will, by to-morrow dinner time, By the imprisoning of unruly wind Send him to answer thee, or any man, Within her womb; which, for enlargement For any thing he shall be charg'd withal : striving, And so let me entreat you leave the house. Shakes the old beldame earth, and topples down Sher. I will, my lord: There are two gentlemen Steeples, and moss-grown towers. At your birth, Have in this robbery lost three hundred marks. Our grandam earth, having this distemperature, P. Hen. It may be so; if he have robb'd these In passion shook. men, Glend. Cousin, of many men He shall be answerable, and so, farewell. I do not bear these crossings. Give me leave Sher. Good night, my noble lord. To tell you once again, -that, at my birth, P. Hen. I think it is good morrow : Is it not? The front of heaven was full of fiery shapes; Sher. Indeed my lord, I think it be two o'clock. The goats ran from the mountains, and the herds [Ereunt Sheriff' and Carrier. Were strangely clamorous to the frighted fields. P. Hen. This oily rascal is known as well as These signs have mark'd me extraordinary ; Paul's. Go, call him forth. And all the courses of my life do show, Poins. Faletaff !-fast asleep behind the arras, I am not in the roll of common men. and snorting like a horse. Where is he living,-clipp'd in with the sea P. Hen. Hark, how hard he fetches breath : That chides the banks of England, Scotland, Search his pockets. [Poins searches.] What hast Wales, Which calls me pupil, or hath read to me? Poins. Nothing but papers, my lord. And bring him out, that is but woman's son, P. Hen. Let's see what they be: read them. Can trace me in the tedious ways of art, Poins. Item, A capon, 28. 2d. And hold me pace in deep experiments. Item, Sauce, 4d. Hot. I think, there is no man speaks better Item, Sack, two gallons, 58. 8d. Welsh Item, Anchovies, and sack after supper, 28. 6d. I'll to dinner. Item, Bread, a balípenny. Mort. Peace, cousin Percy; you will make P. Hen. O monstrous! but one halfpenny. him mad. worth of bread to this intolerable deal of sack ! Glend. I can call spirits from the vasty deep. -What there is else, keep close; we'll read it Hot. Why, so can I; or so can any man: at more advantage : there let him sleep till day. But will they come, when you do call for them ? I'll to the court in the morning; we must all 10 Glend. Why, I can teach you, cousin, to comthe wars, and thy place shall be honourable. mand I'll procure this fat rogue a charge of foot; and, The devil. I know, his death will be a march of twelve Hot. And I can teach thee, coz, to shame the score. The money shall be paid back again devil, with advantage. Be with me betimes in the By telling truth ; Tell truth, and shame the morning, and so good morrow, Poins. devil. Poins. Good morrow, good my lord. [Ereunt. If thou have power to raise him, bring him ACT III. And I'll be sworn, I have power to shame him hence. SCENE I. Bangor. 0, while you live, tell truth, and shame the devil. A Room in the Archdeacon's House. Mort. Come, come, Enter Hotspur, Worcester, Mortimer, and No more of this unprofitable chat. Glend. Three times hath Henry Bolingbroke Glendower. made head Mort. These promises are fair; the parties sure, Against my power: thrice from the banks of And our induction full of prosperous hope. Hot. Lord Mortimer, -and cousin Glen- And sandy-bottom'd Severn, have I sent him, dower, Bootless home, and weather-beaten back. Will you sit down? Hot. Home without boots, and in foul weather And, uncle Worcester :-A plague upon it! too! I have forgot the map. How 'scapes he agues, in the devil's name? Glend, No, here it is. Glend. Come, here's the map: Shall we divide Sit, cousin Percy; sit, good cousin Hotspur, our right, For by that name as oft as Lancaster According to our three-fold order ta'en? Doth speak of you, his cheek looks pale; and, Mort. The archdeacon hath divided it with Into three limits, very equally: All westward, Wales beyond the Severn shore, Glend. I cannot blame him: at my nativity, And all the fertile land within that bound, hither, Wye, To Owen Glendower: and, dear coz, to you Mort. Fie, cousin Percy ! how yon cross my With telling me of the moldwarp and the ant, (A business that this night may execute, of the dreamer Merlin and his prophecies; To-morrow, cou in Percy, you, and I, And of a dragon, and a finless fish, And such a deal of skimble-skamble stuff As puts me from my faith. I tell you what,Nor shall we need his help these fourteen days: He held me, but last night, at least nine hours, Within that space [ To Glend.] you may have In reckoning up the several devils' names, drawn together That were his lackeys: I cried, humph,--and Your tenants, friends, and neighbouring gentle well-go to, men. But mark'd him not a word. O, he's as tedious Glend. A shorter time shall send ine you, As is a tir'd horse, a railing wise: lords, Worse than a smoky house ;-1 had rather live And in my conduct shall your ladies come: With cheese and garlick, in a windmill, far, From whom you now must steal, and take no Than feed on cates, and have him talk to me, leave; In any summer-house in Christendom. For there will be a world of water shed, Mort. In faith, he is a worthy gentleman; Upon the parting of yonr wives and you. Exceedingly well read, and profited Hot. Methinks, my moiety, north from Burton In strange concealments; valiant as a lion, here, And wondrous affable; and as bountiful In quantity equals not one of yours: As mines of India. Shall I tell you, cousin ? See, how this river comes me cranking in, He holds yonr temper in a high respect, And cuts me, from the best of all my land, And curbs himself even of his natural scope, A huge half moon, a monstrous cantle out! When you do cross his hamour; 'faith, he does: I'll have the current in this place damm'd up; I warrant you, that man is not alive, And here the smug and silver Trent shall run, Might so have tempted him as you have done, In a new channel, fair and evenly : Without the taste of danger and reproof; It shall not wind with such a deep indent, But do not use it oft, let me entreat you. To rob me of so rich a bottom here. Wor. In faith, my lord, you are too wilfulGlend. Not wind? it shall, it must; you see blame: it doth. And since your coming hither, have done enough Mort. Yea, To put him quite beside bis patience. But mark, how he bears his course, and runs You must needs learn, loru, to amend this fault: me up Though sometimes it show greatness, courage, With like advantage on the other side; blood, Gelding the opposed continent as much, (And that's the dearest grace it renders you,) As on the other side it takes from yon. Yet oftentimes it doth present harsh rage, Wor. Yea, but a little charge will trench him Defect of manners, want of government, here, Pride, haughtiness, opinion, and disdain: And on this north side win this cape of land; The least of which, haunting a nobleman, And then he runs straight and even. Loseth men's hearts; and leaves behind a stain Hot. I'll have it so; a little charge will do it. Upon the beauty of all parts besides, Glend. I will not have it alter'd. Beguiling them of commendation. Hot. Will not you? Hot. Well, I am school'd; good manners be Glend. No, nor you shall not. your speed ! Hot. Who shall say me nay? Here come our wives, and let us take our leave. Glend. Why, that will I. Hot. 'Let me not understand you then, Re-enter Glendower, with the Ladies. Speak it in Welsh. Mort. This is the deadly spite that angers me, Glend. I can speak English, lord, as well as My wife can speak no English, I no Welsh. you; Glend. My daughter weeps; she will not part For I was train'd up in the English court: with you. Where, being but young, I framed to the harp She'll be a soldier too, she'll to the wars. Many an English ditty, lovely well, Mort. Good father, tell her,-that she, and my And gave the tongue a helpful ornament; aunt Percy, A virtue that was never seen in you. Shall follow in your conduct speedily. Hot. Marry; and I am glad of it with all my (Glend. speaks to his Daughter in Welsh, and heart; she answers him in the same. I had rather be a kitten, and cry-mew, Glend. She's desperate here; a peevish seit Than one of these same metre ballad-mongers : will'd harlotry, I had rather hear a brazen canstick turn'd, One that no persuasion can do good upon. Or a dry wheel grate on an axle-tree; [Lady M. speaks to Mortimer in Welsh. And that would set my teeth nothing on edge, Mort. I understand thy looks : that pretty Nothing so much as mincing poetry; Welsh "Tis like the fore'd gnit of a shnfiling nag. Which thou pourest down from these swelling Glend. Come, you shall have Trent turn'd. heavens, Hot. I do not care; I'll give thrice so much I am too perfect in: and, but for shame, land In such a parley would I answer tbee. To any well-deserving friend; (Lady M. speaks Bat, in the way of bargain, mark ye me, I understand thy kisses, and thou mine, I'll cavil on the ninth part of a hair. And that's a feeling disputation : Are the indentures drawn? shall we be gone? But I will never be a truant, love, Glend. The moon shines fair, you may away Till I have learned thy language: for thy tongne by night: Makes Welsh as sweet as ditties highly penud, I'll in and haste the writer, and, withal, Sung by a fair queen in a summer's bower, Break with your wives of your departure hence: With ravishing division to her lute.. I am afraid, my daughter will run mad, Glend. Nay, if you melt, then will she run maca So much she doteth on her Mortimer. Exit Lady M. speaks again Mort. O, I am ignorance itself in this. He'll breed revengement ind a scourge for me; Make me believe,-ihat thou art only mark'd Accompany the greatness of thy blood, P. Hen. So please your majesty, I would By that tiine will our book, I think, be drawn. could Glend. Do so; Rnit ali offences with as clear excuse, And those musicians that shall play to you, As well as, I am doubtless, I can purge Hang in the air a thousand leagues from hence; Myself of many I am charg'd withal : And straight they shall be here: sit, and attend. Yet such extenuation let me beg, Hot. Come, Kate, thou art perfect in lying As, in reproof of many tales devis'd, down: Come, quick, quick; that I may lay my Which oft the ear of greatness needs must hear, bead in thy lap. By smiling pick.thanks and base newsmongers, Lady P. Go, ye giddy goose. I inay, for some things true, wherein my youl. Find pardon on my true submission. der Harry, At thy affections, which do hold a wing Quite from the flight of all thy ancestors. Of all the court and princes of my blood : Is ruin'd; and the soul of every man Had I so lavish of my presence been, So common hackney'd in the eyes of men, So stale and cheap to vulgar company; Opinion, that did help me to the crown, Had still kept loyal to possession; And left me in repteless banishment, A fellow of no mark, nor likelihood. That men wonld tell their children, This is he; And dress'd myself in such humility, Ne'er seen, but wonder'd at: and so my state, Seldom, but sumptuous, showed like a feast; Lady P. I will not sing. And won, by rareness, such solemnity. Hot. "Tis the next way to turn tailor, or be The skipping king, he ambled up and down redbreast teacher. And the indentures be drawn, With shallow jesters, and rash bavin wits, l'll away within these two hours; and so come Soon kindled, and soon burn'd: carded his state; in when ye will. (Erit. Mingled his royalty with carping fools; Glend. Come, come, Lord Mortimer; you are Had his great name profaned with their scorns; as slow, And gave his countenance, against his name, As hot Lord Percy is on fire to go. To laugh at jibing boys, and stand the push Grew a companion to the common streets, Enfeoft'd himself to popularity : With all my heart. That being daily swallow'd by men's eyes, [Exeunt. They surfeited with honey ; and began To loathe the taste of sweetness, whereof a little He was but as the cuckoo is in June, such as is bent on suunlike majesty, (Ereunt Lords. But rather drowz'd, and hung their eyelids I know not whether God will have it so, down, |