« ZurückWeiter »
Dro. E. O villain, thou hast stolen both mine SCENE I. The same.
office and my name ;. Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, Dromio of
The one ne'e got me credit, the other micklo
blame. Ephesus, Angelo, and Balthazar.
If thou had'st been Dromio to-day in my place, Ant. E. Good signior Angelo, you must excuse Thou would'st have chang'd thy face for a name, us all :
or thy name for an ass. My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours: Luce. [wiihin) What a coil is there '? Dromio, Say, that I linger'd with you at your shop,
who are those at the gate ? To see the making of her carkanet,
Dro. E. Let my master in, Luce. And that to-morrow you will bring it home. Luce.
Faith, no; he comes too late : But here's a villain, that would face me down And so tell your master. He met me on the mart; and that I beat him ; Dro. E
O Lord, I must laugh ;And charg'd hiin with a thousand marks gold; Have at you with a proverb. --Shall I set in my And that I did deny my wife and house :
staff? Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by Luce. Have at you with another : that's this?
When ? can you tell ? Dro. E. Say what you will, sir, but I know Dro. S. If thy name be call'd Luce, Luce, thou what I know :
hast answer'd him well. That you beat me at the mart, I have your hand Ant. E. Do you hear, you minion ? you'll let to show:
us in, I hope ? If the skin were parchment, and the blows you Luce. I thoughi to have ask'd you. gave were ink,
And you said, no. Your own handwriting would tell you what I Dro. E. So, come, help; well slruck; there think.
was blow for blow. Ant. E. I think, thou art an ass.
Ant. E. Thou baggage, let me in.
Can you tell for whose sake?
Let him knock till it ake. pass,
Ant. E. You'll cry for this, minion, if I beat You would keep from my heels, and beware of the door down.
Luce. What needs all that, and a pair of stocks Ant. E. You are sad, signior Balthazar: 'Pray, in the town? God, our cheer
Adr. [within.] Who is that at the door, that May answer my good will, and your good wel keeps all this noise ? come here.
Dro. S. By my troth, your town is troubled Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your
with unruly boys. welcome dear.
Ant. E. Are you there wise ? you might have Ant. E. O, signior Balthazar, either at flesh or come before. fish,
Adr. Your wise, sir knave! go, get you from A table full of welcome makes scarce one dainty the door. dish.
Dro. E. If you went in pain, master, this Bal. Good meat, sir, is common: that every knave would go sore. churl affords.
Ang. Here is neither chcer, sir, nor welcome; Ant. E. And welcome more common ; for we would fain have either. thal s nothing but words.
Bal. In debating which was best, we shall part Bal Small cheer, and great welcome, makes with neither. a merry feast.
Dro. E. They stand at the door, master; bid Ant E. Ay, to a niggardly host, and more them welcome hither. sparing guest;
Ant. E. There is something in the wind, that But though my cates be mean, take them in good we cannot get in. part;
Dro E. You would say so, master, if your Better cheer may you have, but not with better
garments were thin. heart.
Your cake here is warm within ; ycu stand here But, soft: my door is lock'd; Go bid them let in the cold : us in.
It would make a man mad as a buck, to be so Dro. E. Mand, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gil bought and sold. lian, Jen'!
Ant. E. Go, fetch me something, I'll break Dro. S. [within.! Mome, malt-horse, capon, ope the gate. coxcomb, idiot, patch !
Dro. $. Break any breaking here, and I'll Either get thee from the door, or sit down at the break your knave's pate. hatch:
Dro. E. A man may break a word with you, Dost thou conjure for wenches, that thou call'st sir; and words are but wind; for such store,
Ay, and hreak it in your face, so he break it not When one is one too many ? Go, get thee from behind. the door.
Dro. S. It seems, thou wantest breaking ; Out Dro. E. What patch is made our porter? My upon thee, hind! master stays in the street.
Dro. E. Here is too much, out upon thee! I Dro. S. Let him walk from whence he came, pray thee, let me in. lest he catch cold on's feet.
Dro.'s. Ay, when fowls have no feathers, and Ant. E. Who talks within there ? ho, open the fish have no fin. door.
Ant. E. Well, I'll break in; Go borrow me a Dro. S. Right, sir, I'll tell you when, an you'll crow. tell me wherefore.
Dro. E. A crow without feather; master, mean Ant. E. Wherefore ? for my dinner; I have
you so ? pot din'd to-day:
For a fish without a fin, there's a fowl without Dro. S. Nor to-day here you must not; come a feather : again, when yon may:
If a crow help us in, sirrah, we'll pluck a crow Ant. E. What art thou, that keep'st me out together. from the house I owe?
Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron Dro. S. The porter for this time, sir, and my name is Dromio.
Bal Have patence, sir : 0, let it not be so }
Herein you war against your reputation,
Than our earth's wonder ; more than earth And draw within the compass of suspect
divine. The unviolated honour of your wife.
Teach me, dear creature, how to think and Once this; your long experience of her wisdom, speak; Her sober virtue, years, and modesty,
Lay open to my earthy gross conceit, Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, And doubt not, sir, but she will well excuse The folded meaning of your words deceit. Why at this time the doors are made against you. Against my soul's pure truth why labour you, Be rul'u by me; depart in patience,
To make it wander in an unknown field? And let us to the Tiger all to dinner:
Are you a god? would you create me new ? And, about evening, come yourself alone, Transform me then, and to your power I ll To know the reason of this strange restraint.
Your weeping sister is no wife of mine,
Far more, far more, to you do I decline. Against your yet ungalled estimation,
0, train me not, sweet mermaid, with thy note, That may with foul intrusion enter in,
To drown me in thy sister's food of tears; And dwell upon your grave when you are dead : Sing, siren, for thyself, and I will dote : For slander lives upon succession;
Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, For ever housed, where it once gets possession. And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie; Ant. E. You have prevail'd; I will depart in And, in that glorious supposition, think quiet,
He gains by death, that hath such means to die And, in despite of mirth, mean to be merry. Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink! I know a wench of excellent discourse, Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason Pretty and witty; wild, and, yet too, gentle ;
so ? There will we dine : this woman that I mean, Ant. S. Not mad, but mated; how, I do not My wife, (but, I protest, without desert,)
know. Hath oftentimes upbraided me withal ;
Luc. It is a fanlt that springeth from your eye. To her will we to dinner.-Get you home, Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, And fetch the chain; by this, I know, 'tis made:
being by: Bring it, I pray you, to the Porcupine ; Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will For there's the house; that chain will I bestow clear your sight (Be it for nothing but to spite my wife)
Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look Upon mine hostess, there : good sir, make haste: on night. Since mine own doors refuse to entertain me, Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister so. I'll knock elsewhere, to see if they'll disdain me. Ant. S. Thy sister's sister. Ang. I'll meet you at that place, some hour Luc.
That's my sister. hence.
Ant. S. Anh E. Do so; this jest shall cost me some It is thyself, mine own self's better part; expense.
[Exeunt. Mine eye's clear eye, my dear heart's dearer
heart; SCENE II. The same.
My food, my fortune, and my sweet hope's aim,
My sole earth's heaven, and my heaven's claim. Enter Luciana, and Antipholus of Syracuse.
Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be. Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot Ant. S. Call thyself sister, sweet, f I aim thee. A husband's office ? shall, Antipholus, hate,
Thee will I love, and with thee lead my life; Even in the spring of love, hy love springs rot? Thou hast no husband yet, nor I no wife : Shall love, in building, grow so ruinate ?
Give me thy hand. If you did wed my sister for her wealth,
0, soft, sir, hold you still ; Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more I'll fetch my sister, to get her good will. kindness :
[Exit Luc. Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth ; Enter, from the House of Antipholus of EpheMuffle your false love with some show of
sus, Dromio of Syracuse. blindness : Let not my sister read it in your eye;
Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; runn'st thou so fast ? Look sweet, speak fair, become disloyalty ; Dro. S. Do you know me, sir ? am I Dromio ? Apparel vice like virtue's harbinger;
am I your man? am I myself ? Bear a fair presence, though your heart be Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, tainted;
thou art thysell. Teach sin the carriage of a holy saint: Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, Be secret-false; What need she be acquainted ? and besides myself.
What simple thief brags of his own attaint? Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides 'Tis double wrong, to truant with your bed,
thyself? And let her read it in thy looks at board : Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due Shame hath a bastard fame, well managed; to a woman: one that claims me, one that haunts
I deeds are doubled with an evil word. me, one that will have me. Alas, poor women! make us but believe,
Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Being compact of credit, that you love us; Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; lay to your horse; and she would have me as a
We in your motion turn, and you Inay move us. beast : not that, 1 being a beast, she would have Then, gentle brother, get you in again; me; but that she, being a very beastly creature,
Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife : lays claim to me. "Tis holy sport, to be a little vain,
Ant. S. What is she? When the sweet breath of flattery conquers Dro. S. A very reverend body; ay, such a one strife.
as a man may not speak of, without he say, sirAnt. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is else, reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, I know not,
and yet she is a wondrous fat marriage. Nor by what wander you do hit on mine,) Ani. . How dost thou mean, a fat marriage ? Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, show not,
land all grease ; and I know not what use to pet
her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from Ang. What please yourself, sir; I have made her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and
it for you. the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter : Ant. S. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week Ang. Not once, nor twice, but twenty times longer than the whole world.
you have: Ant. S. What complexion is she of?
Go home with it, and please your wife withal ; Dro. S. Swart like my shoe, but her face no- And soon at supper time I'll visit you, thing like so clean kept : For why? she sweats, And then receive my money for the chain. a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, Ant. s. 'Ihat's a fault that water will mend. For fear you ne'er see chain, nor money, more.
Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's tlood Ang. You are a merry man, sir; fare you well. could not do it
[Erit. Ant. S. What's her name?
Ant. S. What I should think of this, I cannot tell; Dro. S. Nell, sir ;-but her name and three Birt this I think, there's no man is so vain, quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will That would refuse so fair an offer'd chain. not measure her from hip to hip.
I see, a man here needs not live by shifts, Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth ? When in the streets he meets such golden gifts. Dro. $. No longer from head to foot, than I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay; from hip to hip : she is spherical, like a globe; If any ship put out, then straight away. (Exil. I could find out countries in her. Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland ?
ACT IV. Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found
The same. it out by the bogs. Ant. $. Where Scotland ?
Enter a Merchant, Angelo, and an Officer Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard, in Mer. You know, since Pentecost the sum is due, the palm of the hand.
And since I have not much importun'd you; Ant. S. Where France ?
Nor now I had not, but that I am bound Dro. S. In her forehead; arm'd and reverted, To Persia, and want gilders for my voyage : making war against her heir.
Therefore make present satisfaction, Ant. 3. Where England ?
Or I'll attach you by this officer. Dro. s. I look'd for the chalky cliffs, but I) Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, could find no whiteness in them: but I guess, it Is growing to me by Antipholus : stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran And, in the instant that I met with you, between France and it.
He had of me a chain; at five o'clock, Ant. S. Where Spain?
I shall receive the money for the same: Dro. S. 'Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot Pleaseth you walk with me down to his house, in her breath.
I will discharge my bond, and thank you too Ant. S. Where America ? the Indies? Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embel- Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, and Dromio of lish'd with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, decli
Ephesus, from ihe Courtezan's. ning their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; off. That labour may you save; see where he who sent whole armadas of carracks to be bal. comes. last at her nose.
Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, Ants. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Dro. S. 0, sir, I did not look so low. To con- And buy a rope's end ; that will I bestow clade, this drudge, or diviner, laid claim
to me; Among my wife and her confederates, call'd me Dromio; swore, I was assur'd to her: For locking me out of my doors by day.told me what privy marks I had about me, as But soft, I see the goldsmith :-gei thee gone. the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me. the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, Dro. E. 1 buy a thousand pound a year. I ran from her as a witch: and, I think, if my buy a rope!
[Erit Dromio. breast had not been made of faith, and my heart Ant. E. A man is well holp up, that trusts to of steel, she had transform'd me to a curtail-dog, you. and made me turn i' the wheel.
I promised your presence, and the chain; Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road; But neither chain, nor goldsmith, came to me: And if the wind blow any way from shore, Belike, you thought our love would last too I will not harbour in this town to-night.
long, If any bark put forth, come to the mart, If it were chain'd together; and therefore came Where I will walk, till thou return to me.
not. If every one knows us, and we know none, Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the 'Tis time, I think, to trudge, pack, and be gone. note, Dro. s' As from a bear man would run for life, How much your chain weighs to the utmost So fly I from her that would be my wife. [Exit. carat; Ani. S. There's none but witches do inhabit here. The fineness of the gold, and chargeful fashion; And therefore 'tis high time that I were hence. Which doth amount to three odd ducats more She that doth call me husband, even my soul Than I stand debted to this gentleman; Doth for a wife abhor: but her fair sister, I pray you, see him presently discharg'd, Possess'd with such a gentle sovereign grace, For he is bound to sea, and stays but for it. Of such enchanting presence and discourse,
Ant. E. I am not furnish'd with the present Hath almost made me traitor to myself:
money ; Bat, lest myself be guilty to self-wrong, Besides, I have some business in the town. I'll stop my ears against the mermaid's song. Good signior, take the stranger to my house, Enter Angelo
And with you take the chain, and bid my wife
Disburse the sum on the receipt thereof; Ang. Master Antipholus ?
Perchance, I will be there as soon as you. Ani. . Ay, that's my name.
Ang. Then you will bring the chain to ber Ang. I know it well, sir: Lo, here is the chain,
yourself? I thought to have ta'en you at the Porcupine: Ant. E. No! bear it with you, lest I come not The chain unfinish'd made me stay thus long. time enough. Ani. S: What is your will, that I shall do with Ang. Well, sir, I will : Have you the chain this?
Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have: That's cover'd o'er with Tarkish tapestry,
And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave; begone.
Ereunt Mer. Ang. Officer, and Ant. E.
Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband:
SCENE II. The same. Ang. You hear how he importunes me; the chain
Enter Adriana and Luciana. Ant. E, Why, give it to my wife, and fetch Adr. Ah, Luciana, did he tempt thee so? your money.
Might'st thou perceive austerely in his eye
Look'd le or red, or pale; or sail, or merrily?
Luc. First, he denied you had in him no right. Come, where's the chain ? I pray you, let me Adr. He meant, he did me none; the more my see it.
spite. Mer. My business cannot brook this dalliance : Luc. Then swore he, that he was a stranger Good sir, say, whe'r you'll answer me, or no;
here. If not, I'll leave him to the officer.
Adr. And true he swore, though yet forsworn Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer he were.
Luc. Then pleaded I for you. Ang. The money, that you owe me for the Adr,
And what said he? chain.
Luc. That love I begg'd for you, he begg'd of Ant. E. I owe you none, till I receive the chain.
Adr. With what persuasion did he tempt thy Ang. You know, I gave it you half an hour love! since.
Luc. With words, that in an honest suit might Ant. E. You gave me none; you wrong me move. much to say so.
First, he did praise my beauty: then my speech. Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it:
Adr. Did'st speak him fair? Consider, how it stands upon my credit.
Have patience, I beseech
will. Ang. This touches me in reputation :
He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere, Either consent to pay this sum for me,
Ill-fac'd, worse-bodied, shapeless every where; Or I attach you by this officer.
Vicious, ingentle, foolish, blunt, unkind;
Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one?
And yet would herein others' eyes were worse : off. I do arrest you, sir ; you hear the suit.
Far from her nost the lapwing cries away;
Enter Dromio of Syracuse.
now, make haste.
Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath? Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum, Dro. S.
By running fast. That stays but till her owner comes aboard, Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio ? is he wel ? And then, sir, bears away: our fraughtage, sir, Dro. S. No, he's in tartar limbo, worse than I have convey'd aboard ; and I have bought
hell: The oil, the balsamum, and aqua-vite.
A devil in an everlasting garment hath him,
A wolf, nay worse, a fellow all in buff";
The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow
lands; Dro. s. A ship you sent me to, to hire wastage. A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dry. Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a foot well; rope ;
One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls And told thee to what purpose, and what end.
to hell. Dro. S. You sent me, sír, for a rope's end as Adr. Why, man, what is the matter? 800n:
Dro. S. I do not know the matter; he is 'rested You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark.
on the case.
Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is arrested,
But he's in a suit of buff, which 'rested him, that
can I tell :
Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I; money in the desk?
And here we wander in illusions ; Adr. Go, fetch it, sister. This I wonder at, Some blessed power deliver us from hence!
[Exit Luciana. That he, unknown to me, should be in debt :
Enter a Courtezan. Tell me, was he arrested on a band ?
Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. Dro. S. Not on a band, but on a stronger thing; I see, sir, you have found the goldsmith now; A chain, a chain; do you not hear it ring? is that the chain, you promis'd me to-day ? Adr. What, the chain ?
[gone. Ant. S. Satan, avoid! I charge thee tempt me Dro. S. No, no, the bell: 'tis time that I were not! It was two ere I left him, and now the clock Dro. S. Master, is this mistress Satan? strikes one.
Ant. S. It is the devil. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's hear.
dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light Dro. S. O yes, If any hour meet a sergeant, wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches a' turns back for very fear.
say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost God make me a light wench. It is written, they
thou reason? Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, and owes effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light
appear to men like angels of light: light is an more than he's worth to season.
wenches will burn; Come not near her. Nay, he's a thief too: Have you not heard men Cour. Your man and you are marvellous mer. say,
ry, sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our That time comes stealing on by night and day? dinner here. If he be in debt, and theft, and a sergeant in the Dro. 8. Master, if you do, expect spoon-meat, way,
or bespeak a long epoon. Hath he not reason to turn back an hour in a
Ant. S. Why, Dromio ? day?
Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, Enter Luciana.
that must eat with the devil. Adr. Go, Dromio; there's the money, bear it Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me straight;
Cour. Give me the ring of mine yon had at (Ereunt.
dinner, SCENE III. The same.
Or, for my diamond, the chain you promis'd;
And I'll be gone, sir, and not trouble you.
Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring of one's Ant S. There's not a man I meet, but doth
nail, salute me
A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, As if I were their well-acquainted friend; A nut, a cherry stone: but she, more covetous, And every one doth call me by my name.
Would have a chain. Some tender money to me, some invite me; Master, be wise; and if yon give it her, Some other give me thanks for kindnesses; The devil will shake her chain, and fright us Some offer me commodities to buy :
with it. Even now a tailor call'd me in his shop,
Cour. I pray you, sir, my ring, or else the And show'd me silks that he had bought for me,
chain ; And, therewithal, look measure of my body. I hope, you do not mean to cheat me so. Bure, these are but imaginary wiles,
Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, And Lapland sorcerers inhabit here.
let us go. Enter Dromio of Syracuse.
Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock; Mistress,
that you know. [Ereunt Ant. and Dro. Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad, for: What, have you got the picture of old Adam Else would he never so demean himself: new apparell'd?
A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, Ant. S. What gold is this? what Adam dost And for the same le promis'd me a chain ! thou mean?
Both one, and other, he denies me now. Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, The reason that I gather he is mad but that Adam, that keeps the prison; he that (Besides this present instance of his rage,) goes in the calf's skin that was kill'd for the Is a mad tale, he told to-day at dinner, prodigal: he that came behind you, sir, like an Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Belike, his wife, acquainted with his fits, Ant. S. I understand thee not.
On purpose shut the doors against his way. Dro. $. No? why, 'tis a plain case : he that My way is now, to hie home to his house, went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the Anul tell his wife, that, being lunatick, man, sir, that when gentlemen are tired, gives He rush'd into my house, and took perforce them a foh, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes My ring away: This course I fittest choose; pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of For forty ducats is too much to lose. [Erit. durance; he that sets up his rest to do more ex
SCENE IV. The same. ploits with his mace than a morris-pike. Ant. S. What? thou mean'st an officer ? Enter Antipholus of Ephesus, and an Officer. Dro. $. Ay, sir', the sergeant of the band; he his band one that thinks a man always going I'll give thee, ere I leave thee, so much money that brings any man to answer it
, that breaks Ant. E. Fear me not, man, I will not break to bed, and says, God give you good rest.
To warrant thee, as I am 'rested for. Ant.'s. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. My wife is in a wayward mood to-day : Is there any ship puts forth to-night ? may we be And will not lightly trust the messenger, Dro. s. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour I tell you, 'twill sound harshly in her ears.-
That I should be attach'd in Ephesus : since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to
Enter Dromio of Ephesus, with a rope's enda tarry for the hoy Delay; here are the angels that Here comes my man; I think, he brings the you sent for, to deliver you.