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Epigrams by J. D[avies].

AD MUSAM. I.

Fly merry Muse unto that merry town, Where thou may'st plays, revels, and tri

umphs see,

The house of fame and theatre of renown, Where all good wits and spirits love to be.

But to define a gull in terms precise, A gull is he which seems, and is not wise.

IN RUFUM. III.

Rufus the Courtier, at the theatre,

Fall in between their hands, that praise and Leaving the best and most conspicuous

love thee,

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Hence is it, that we seldom hear him swear;
And thereof like a Pharisee he vaunts;
But he devours more capons in a year,
Than would suffice an hundred protestants.
And sooth those sectaries are gluttons all,
As well the threadbare cobbler as the
knight,

For those poor slaves which have not where-
withal,

Feed on the rich, till they devour them quite.

And so like Pharaoh's kine, they eat up clean,

Those that be fat, yet still themselves be lean.

IN LEUCAM. XIV.

Leuca in presence once a fart did let,
Some laughed a little, she forsook the
place;

And mad with shame, did eke her glove
forget,

Which she returned to fetch with bashful grace:

And when she would have said "[I seek] my glove,

"My fart" (quod she), which did more laughter move.

IN MACRUM.

XV.

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Thou, doggèd Cineas, hated like a dog,
For still thou grumblest like a mastiff dog,
Compar'st thyself to nothing but a dog,
Thou say'st thou art as weary as a dog,
As angry, sick, and hungry as a dog,
As dull and melancholy as a.dog,
As lazy, sleepy, idle as a dog;
But why dost thou compare thee to a dog?
In that, for which all men despise a dog?

Thou canst not speak yet, Macer, for to I will compare thee better to a dog.
speak,

Is to distinguish sounds significant;
Thou with harsh noise the air dost rudely
break,

But what thou utterest common sense doth
want :-

Half English words, with fustian terms among,

Much like the burthen of a northern song.

IN FAUSTUM. XVI. "That youth," said Faustus,

seen,

Thou art as fair and comely as a dog,
Thou art as true and honest as a dog,
Thou art as kind and liberal as a dog,
Thou art as wise and valiant as a dog:

But Cineas I have often heard thee tell,
Thou art as like thy father as may be;
"Tis like enough, and 'faith I like it well,
But I am glad thou art not like to me.

IN GERONTEM. XX.

Geron his mouldy memory corrects 'hath a lion Old Holinshed our famous chronicler, With moral rules, and policy collects Out of all actions done these fourscore year. Accounts the time of every old event, Not from Christ's birth, nor from the prince's reign,

Who from a dicing house comes moneyless."

But when he lost his hair, where had he been,

I doubt me he had seen a lioness.

IN COSMUM. XVII.

Cosmus hath more discoursing in his head, Than Jove, when Pallas issued from his brain,

"And still he strives to be delivered,

Of all his thoughts at once, but all in vain :

But from some other famous accident,
Which in men's general notice doth remain.
The siege of Boulogne, and the plaguy
sweat,

The going to Saint Quintin's and New.
haven,

The rising in the North, the frost so great, The cart-wheel prints on Thamis' face were graven.

The fall of money, and burning of Pauls' steeple,

The blazing star, and Spaniard's overthrow:
By these events, notorious to the people,
He measures times, and things forepast doth
show.

But most of all, he chiefly reckons by
A private chance, the death of his curst
wife:

This is to him the dearest memory,
And the happiest accident of all his life.

IN MARCUM. XXI.

When Marcus comes from Mins', he still doth swear

By, "come on seven," that all is lost and gone,

But that's not true, for he hath lost his hair

Only for that he came too much on one,

IN CIPRIUM. XXII.

The fine youth Cyprius is more terse and neat,

Than the new garden of the Old Temple is, And still the newest fashion he doth get, And with the time doth change from that to this,

He wears a hat now of the flat-crown block, The treble ruff, long cloak, and doublet French;

He takes tobacco, and doth wear a lock, And wastes more time in dressing than a wench.

Yet this new-fangled youth, made for these times,

Doth above all, praise old George Gascoigne's rhymes.

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As, if I could their English understand,
I fear me they would cut my throat like
swords.

He talks of counterscarps and casamates,
Of curtains, parapets, and pallisadoes,
Of flankers, ravelins, gabions he prates,
And of false-brayes and sallies, and scala
does:

But to requite such gulling terms as these,
With words of my profession I reply;
I tell of fourching, vouchers, and counter
pleas,

Of withernams, essoines, and champarty:
So neither of us understanding either,
We part as wise as when we came toge
ther.

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IN GELLAM. XXVI.

If Gella's beauty be examined,
She hath a dull dead eye, a saddle nose,
An ill-shaped face, with morphew over
spread,

And rotten teeth which she in laughing shows.

Briefly, she is the filthiest wench in town,
Of all that do the art of whoring use;
But when she hath put on her satin gown,
Her cut-lawn apron, and her velvet shoes,
Her green silk stockings and her petticoat
Of taffeta, with golden fringe around:
And is withal perfumed with civet hot,
Which doth her valiant stinking breath con
found;

Yet she with these additions is no more, Than a sweet, filthy, fine, ill-favoured whore.

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IN SYLLAM. XXVIII.
Who dares affirm that Sylla dares not fight?
When I dare swear he dares adventure
more,

He first taught him that keeps the monu

ments

At Westminster, his formal tale to say,
And also him which puppets represents,
And also him which with the ape doth
play;

Though all his poetry be like to this,
Amongst the poets Dacus numbered is.

IN PRISCUM. XXXI.

When Priscus, raised from low to high estate,

Rode through the street in pompous jollity,

Than the most brave and most all-daring Caius his poor familiar friend of late,

wight,

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He that dares take tobacco on the stage,

Bespake him thus, "Sir, now you know not me:"

""Tis likely, friend," quoth Priscus, "to be so,

For at this time myself I do not know."

IN BRUNUM. XXXII.

Brunus which thinks himself a fair sweet
youth

Is nine-and-thirty years of age at least ;
But a dry starveling when he was at best.
Yet was he never, to confess the truth,
This gull was sick to show his nightcap
fine,

Dares man a whore at noon-day through And his wrought pillow overspread with

the street,

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lawn;

But hath been well since his grief's cause hath lien

At Trollop's by Saint Clement's Church in pawn.

IN FRANCUM. XXXIII. When Francus comes to solace with his whore,

He sends for rods and strips himself stark
naked;

For his lust sleeps, and will not rise before
By whipping of the wench it be awaked.

I envy him not, but wish I had the power,
To make himself his wench but one half
hour.

IN CASTOREM. XXXIV.

Of speaking well, why do we learn the skill,

Hoping thereby honour and wealth to
gain :

Sith railing Castor doth by speaking ill,
Opinion of much wit, and gold obtain.

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