Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn What is your news? news; [me! Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are vanish'd. Pro. That thou art banished, O, that's the [friend. From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Doth Silvia know that I am banished? Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom, (Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them, As if but now they waxed pale for woe: tears, Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire; Val. No more; unless the next word that Have some malignant power upon my life: Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not help, And study help for that which thou lament'st. boy, Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my [gate. Bid him make haste, and meet me at the northPro. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valen tine. Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS. Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid: yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel, which is much in a bare Christian. Here is a cat-log [Pulling out a pa * Grief. speed! Speed. Imprimis, She can milk. Speed. Item, She brews good ale. Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock. Speed. Item, She can wash and scour. Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin. Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels, when she can spin for her living. Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names. Speed. Here follow her vices. Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in respect of her breath. Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on. Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth. Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep. Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk. Speed. Item, She is slow in words. Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue. Speed. Item, She is proud. Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her. Speed. Item, She hath no teeth. Laun. I caré not for that neither, because I love crusts. Speed. Item, She is curst. Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to bite. Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised. Speed. Item, She is too liberal. Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more. Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, Laun. More hair than wit, it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs, Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out! Speed. And more wealth than faults. Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Well, I'll have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible, Speed. What then? Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so. What might we do, to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio? Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent. Three things that women highly hold in hate. Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate. Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend. Duke. Then you must undertake to slander him. Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do: 'Tis an ill office for a gentleman; Especially, against his very friend. Duke. Where your good word cannot advan. tage him, Your slander never can endamage him; Laun. Why, then I will tell thee, that thy She shall not long continue love to him. master stays for thee at the north-gate. Speed. For me? Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath staid for a better man than thee. Speed. And must I go to him? Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the turn. Enter DUKE and THURIO; PROTEUS behind. Forsworn my company, and rail'd at me, Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure Pro. Gone, my good lord, Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously. Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not 80. Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee, (For thou hast shown some sign of good desert,) Makes me the better to confer with thee. Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Let me not live to look upon your face. Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter. • Licentious in language. ↑ Graceful, ‡ Cut. By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, But say, this weed her love from Valentine, It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio. Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from him, Lest it should ravel, and be good to none; Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in this kind; Because we know, on Valentine's report, Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect : poesy. Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart: Write till your ink be dry; and with your tears Moist it again; and frame some feeling line, That may discover such integrity :For Orpheus' lute was strung with poet's sinews; [stones, Whose golden touch could soften steel and Make tigers tame, and huge leviathans Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. After your dire-lamenting elegies, Visit by night your lady's chamber-window With some sweet concert: to their instruments Tune a deploring dump; the night's dead [grievance. Will well become such sweet complaining This, or else nothing, will inherit her. Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love. effect silence * Birdlime, Mournful elegy. Myself was from Verona banished Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in | Thrust from the company of awful* men: practice: Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, Let us into the city presently To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music: I have a sonnet, that will serve the turn, To give the onset to thy good advice. Duke. About it gentlemen. Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper: And afterward determine our proceedings. Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you. [Exeunt. ACT IV. SCENE I.-A Forest, near Mantua. 1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger. 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down Enter VALENTINE and SPEED. with 'em. 2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Whom, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these. But to the purpose, -(for we cite our faults, 2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'á man, Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you: 3 Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our 3 Out. Stand, Sir, and throw us that you have We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee, about you; If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you. That all the travellers do fear so much. 1 Out. That's not so, Sir; we are your enemies. 3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we; For he's a propert man. Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to A man I am, cross'd ss'd with adversity: [lose; My riches are these poor habiliments, 2 Out. Whither travel you? Val. To Verona. 1 Out. Whence came you? Val. From Milan. 3 Out. Have you long sojourned there? Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might have staid, If crooked fortune had not thwarted me. 2 Out. For what offence? Love thee as our commander, and our king. 2 Out. Thou shalt not live to brag what we Val. I take your offer, and will live with [you; Provided that you do no outrages On silly women, or poor passengers. 3 Out. No, we detest such vile base practices. Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our crews, And show thee all the treasure we have got; SCENE II.-Milan. -Court of the Palace. Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine, Val. For that which now torments me to When to her beauty I commend my vows, rehearse: I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent; so: 1 Out. Why ne'er repent it, if it were done But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. 1 was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues?‡ Val. My youthful travel therein made me Or else I often had been miserable. [happy; 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar, This fellow were a king for our wild faction. 1 Out. We'll have him: Sirs, a word. Speed. Master, be one of them; It is an honourable kind of thievery. Val. Peace, illain! 2 Out. Tell us this: Have you any thing to take to? Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence. Pro. Ay, Silvia, for your sake. Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gen Let's tune, and to it lustily a while. [tlemen, * Lawful. + Anger, resentment. ‡ Passionate reproaches Enter Host, at a distance; and JULIA in boy's clothes. Host. Now, my young guest! methinks you're allycholy; I pray you, why is it? Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be merry. Host. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you will hear music, and see the gentleman that you ask'd for. Jul. But shall I hear him speak? Host. Ay, that you shall. Host. Hark! hark! Jul. Is he among these? Host. Ay: but peace, let's hear 'em. SONG. Who is Silvia? What is she, this, That presently you hie you home to bed. [Music plays. That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows? That all our swains commend her? Holy, fair, and wise is she; The heavens such grace did lend her Is she kind, as she is fuir? To help him of his blindness; Host. How now? are you sadder than you were before? one thing? Jul. I would always have one play but one thing. But, host, doth this Sir Proteus, that tve talk on, often resort unto this gentlewoman? Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he loved her out of all nick.* Jul. Where is Launce? Host. Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady. Jul. Peace! stand aside! the company parts. Pro. Sir Thurio, fear not you! I will so plead, That you shall say, my cunning drift excels. Thu. Where meet we? Pro. At saint Gregory's well. [Exeunt THURIO and Musicians. SILVIA appears above, at her window. truth, Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's you'd quickly learn to know him by his voice. Beyond all reckoning. But she is dead. Jul. 'Twere false if I should speak it; [lady; [Aside. For, I am sure, she is not buried. friend, Pro. I likewise hear, that Valentine is dead. Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the earth. Or, at the least, in hers sepulchre thine. [Aside Jul. He heard not that. Jul. If 'twere a substance, you would, sure, And make it but a shadow, as I am. [Aside, well But, since your falsehood shall become you Pro. As wretches have o'er-night, [Exeunt PROTEUS; and SILVIA from above. Host. Marry, at my house: Trust me, I think, 'tis almost day. Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest Egl. Your servant, and your friend; One that attends your ladyship's command. Sil. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good morrow. Egl. As many, worthy lady, to yourself. According to your ladyship's impose,* I am thus early come, to know what service It is your pleasure to command me in. Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, (Think not, I flatter, for, I swear, I do not,) Valiant, wise, remorseful, well accomplish'd. ignorant, what dear good will I bear unto the banish'd Valentine; Nor how my father would enforce me marry Vain Thurio, who my very soul abhorr'd. Thyself hast lov'd; and I have heard thee say, No grief did ever come so near thy heart, As when thy lady and thy true love died, Upon whose grave thou vow'dst pure chastity. Sir Eglamour, I would to Valentine, To Mantua, where I hear he makes abode; And, for the ways are dangerous to pass, I do desire thy worthy company, Upon whose faith and honour I repose. Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour, But think upon my grief, a lady's grief; And on the justice of my flying hence, To keep me from a most unholy match, Which heaven and fortune still reward with plagues. I do desire thee, even from a heart Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances; Sil. This evening coming. Egl. Where shall I meet you? Sil, Good-morrow, kind Sir Eglamour. SCENE IV.-The same. [Exeunt. Laun. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! I have taught him-even as one would say precisely, Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver him, as a present to mistress Silvia, from my master; and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps me to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thing, when a cur cannot keeps himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I live, he had suffered for't: you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentleman-like dogs, under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a pissing while; but all the chamber smelt him. with dog, says one; What cur is says another; Whip him out, says the third Hang him up, says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay, marry, do I, quoth he. You do him the more wrong, quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you wot of. He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't: thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, I remember the trick you served me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia; did not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's fartingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick? Enter PROTEUS and JULIA. Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, And will employ thee in some service presently. Jul. In what you please;-I will do what I can. Pro. I hope, thou wilt.-How now, you whoreson peasant? [TO LAUNCE. Where have you been these two days loitering? Laun. Marry, Sir, I carried mistress Silvia the dog you bade me. Pro. And what says she, to my little jewel? Laun. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; and tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present. Pro. But she received my dog? Laun. No, indeed, she did not: here have I brought him back again. Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, Sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman's boys in the marketplace: and then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater. Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog Sebastian, I have entertained thee, She's dead, belike. Pro. Not so; I think she lives. Jul. Alas! Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas? Jul. Because, methinks, that she loved you [as well As you do love your lady Silvia: Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal * In the end. |