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Val. No Valentine, if Silvia have forsworn What is your news?

news;

[me!

Laun. Sir, there's a proclamation that you are vanish'd. Pro. That thou art banished, O, that's the [friend. From hence, from Silvia, and from me thy Val. O, I have fed upon this woe already, And now excess of it will make me surfeit. Doth Silvia know that I am banished?

Pro. Ay, ay; and she hath offer'd to the doom,

(Which, unrevers'd, stands in effectual force,) A sea of melting pearl, which some call tears: Those at her father's churlish feet she tender'd; With them, upon her knees, her humble self; Wringing her hands, whose whiteness so became them,

As if but now they waxed pale for woe:
But neither bended knees, pure hands held up,
Sad sighs, deep groans, nor silver-shedding

tears,

Could penetrate her uncompassionate sire;
But Valentine, if he be ta'en, must die.
Besides, her intercession chaf'd him so,
When she for thy repeal was suppliant,
That to close prison he commanded her,
With many bitter threats of 'biding there.

Val. No more; unless the next word that
thou speak'st,

Have some malignant power upon my life:
If so, I pray thee, breathe it in mine ear,
As ending anthem of my endless dolour.*

Pro. Cease to lament for that thou canst not

help,

And study help for that which thou lament'st.
Time is the nurse and breeder of all good.
Here if thou stay, thou canst not see thy love;
Besides, thy staying will abridge thy life.
Hope is a lover's staff; walk hence with that,
And manage it against despairing thoughts.
Thy letters may be here, though thou art thence;
Which, being writ to me, shall be deliver'd
Even in the milk-white bosom of thy love.
The time now serves not to expostulate:
Come, I'll convey thee through the city gate;
And, ere I part with thee, confer at large
Of all that may concern thy love affairs:
As thou lov'st Silvia, though not for thyself,
Regard thy danger, and along with me.

boy,

Val. I pray thee, Launce, an if thou seest my [gate. Bid him make haste, and meet me at the northPro. Go, sirrah, find him out. Come, Valen

tine.

Val. O my dear Silvia! hapless Valentine! [Exeunt VALENTINE and PROTEUS.

Laun. I am but a fool, look you; and yet I have the wit to think, my master is a kind of a knave: but that's all one, if he be but one knave. He lives not now, that knows me to be in love: yet I am in love; but a team of horse shall not pluck that from me; nor who 'tis I love, and yet 'tis a woman: but that woman, I will not tell myself; and yet 'tis a milk-maid: yet 'tis not a maid, for she hath had gossips: yet 'tis a maid, for she is her master's maid, and serves for wages. She hath more qualities than a water-spaniel, which is much in a bare Christian. Here is a cat-log [Pulling out a pa

* Grief.

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speed!

Speed. Imprimis, She can milk.
Laun. Ay, that she can.

Speed. Item, She brews good ale.
Laun. And therefore comes the proverb,-
Blessing of your heart, you brew good ale.
Speed. Itein, She can sew.
Laun. That's as much as to say, Can she so?
Speed. Item, She can knit.

Laun. What need a man care for a stock with a wench, when she can knit him a stock. Speed. Item, She can wash and scour.

Laun. A special virtue; for then she need not be washed and scoured. Speed. Item, She can spin.

Laun. Then may I set the world on wheels,

when she can spin for her living.

Speed. Item, She hath many nameless virtues. Laun. That's as much as to say, bastard virtues; that, indeed, know not their fathers, and therefore have no names.

Speed. Here follow her vices.

Laun. Close at the heels of her virtues. Speed. Item, She is not to be kissed fasting, in

respect of her breath.

Laun. Well, that fault may be mended with a breakfast: Read on.

Speed. Item, She hath a sweet mouth.

Laun. That makes amends for her sour breath. Speed. Item, She doth talk in her sleep.

Laun. It's no matter for that, so she sleep not in her talk.

Speed. Item, She is slow in words.

Laun. O villain, that set this down among her vices! To be slow in words, is a woman's only virtue: I pray thee, out with't; and place it for her chief virtue.

Speed. Item, She is proud.

Laun. Out with that too; it was Eve's legacy, and cannot be ta'en from her.

Speed. Item, She hath no teeth.

Laun. I caré not for that neither, because I love crusts.

Speed. Item, She is curst.

Laun. Well; the best is, she hath no teeth to

bite.

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Speed. Item, She will often praise her liquor. Laun. If her liquor be good, she shall: if she will not, I will; for good things should be praised.

Speed. Item, She is too liberal.

Laun. Of her tongue she cannot; for that's writ down she is slow of: of her purse she shall not; for that I'll keep shut: now, of another thing she may; and that I cannot help. Well, proceed.

Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, and more faults than hairs, and more wealth than faults. Laun. Stop there; I'll have her: she was mine, and not mine, twice or thrice in that last article: Rehearse that once more.

Speed. Item, She hath more hair than wit, Laun. More hair than wit, it may be; I'll prove it: The cover of the salt hides the salt, and therefore it is more than the salt; the hair that covers the wit, is more than the wit; for the greater hides the less. What's next? Speed. And more faults than hairs,

Laun. That's monstrous: O, that that were out!

Speed. And more wealth than faults.

Laun. Why, that word makes the faults gracious: Well, I'll have her: and if it be a match, as nothing is impossible,

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Speed. What then?

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Duke. Ay, and perversely she persévers so. What might we do, to make the girl forget The love of Valentine, and love Sir Thurio?

Pro. The best way is to slander Valentine With falsehood, cowardice, and poor descent. Three things that women highly hold in hate. Duke. Ay, but she'll think, that it is spoke in hate.

Pro. Ay, if his enemy deliver it: Therefore it must, with circumstance, be spoken By one, whom she esteemeth as his friend. Duke. Then you must undertake to slander

him.

Pro. And that, my lord, I shall be loath to do: 'Tis an ill office for a gentleman; Especially, against his very friend.

Duke. Where your good word cannot advan.

tage him,

Your slander never can endamage him;
Therefore the office is indifferent,
Being entreated to it by your friend.
Pro. You have prevailed, my lord: if I can
do it,

Laun. Why, then I will tell thee, that thy She shall not long continue love to him.

master stays for thee at the north-gate.

Speed. For me?

Laun. For thee? ay; who art thou? he hath

staid for a better man than thee.

Speed. And must I go to him?

Laun. Thou must run to him, for thou hast staid so long, that going will scarce serve the

turn.

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Enter DUKE and THURIO; PROTEUS behind.
Duke. Sir Thurio, fear not, but that she will
love you,
Now Valentine is banish'd from her sight.
Thu. Since his exile she hath despis'd me most,

Forsworn my company, and rail'd at me,
That I am desperate of obtaining her.

Duke. This weak impress of love is as a figure
Trenched in ice; which with an hour's heat
Dissolves to water, and doth lose his form.
A little time will melt her frozen thoughts,
And worthless Valentine shall be forgot.-
How now, Sir Proteus? Is your countryman,
According to our proclamation, gone?

Pro. Gone, my good lord,

Duke. My daughter takes his going grievously.

Pro. A little time, my lord, will kill that grief. Duke. So I believe; but Thurio thinks not

80.

Proteus, the good conceit I hold of thee, (For thou hast shown some sign of good desert,) Makes me the better to confer with thee.

Pro. Longer than I prove loyal to your grace, Let me not live to look upon your face.

Duke. Thou know'st, how willingly I would The match between Sir Thurio and my daughter. • Licentious in language. ↑ Graceful, ‡ Cut.

By aught that I can speak in his dispraise, But say, this weed her love from Valentine, It follows not that she will love Sir Thurio.

Thu. Therefore, as you unwind her love from

him,

Lest it should ravel, and be good to none;
You must provide to bottom it on me :
Which must be done, by praising me as much
As you in worth dispraise Sir Valentine.

Duke. And, Proteus, we dare trust you in

this kind;

Because we know, on Valentine's report,
You are already love's firm votary,
And cannot soon revolt and change your mind,
Upon this warrant shall you have access,
Where you with Silvia may confer at large;
For she is lumpish, heavy, melancholy,
And, for your friend's sake, will be glad of you;
Where you may temper her, by your persuasion,
To hate young Valentine, and love my friend.

Pro. As much as I can do, I will effect :
But you, Sir Thurio, are not sharp enough;
You must lay lime, to tangle her desires,
By wailful sonnets, whose composed rhymes
Should be full fraught with serviceable vows.
Duke. Ay, much the force of heaven-bred

poesy.

Pro. Say, that upon the altar of her beauty You sacrifice your tears, your sighs, your heart: Write till your ink be dry; and with your tears Moist it again; and frame some feeling line, That may discover such integrity :For Orpheus' lute was strung with poet's sinews; [stones, Whose golden touch could soften steel and Make tigers tame, and huge leviathans Forsake unsounded deeps to dance on sands. After your dire-lamenting elegies, Visit by night your lady's chamber-window With some sweet concert: to their instruments Tune a deploring dump; the night's dead [grievance. Will well become such sweet complaining This, or else nothing, will inherit her. Duke. This discipline shows thou hast been in love.

effect

silence

* Birdlime,

Mournful elegy.

Myself was from Verona banished
For practising to steal away a lady,
An heir, and near allied unto the duke.

Thu. And thy advice this night I'll put in | Thrust from the company of awful* men: practice: Therefore, sweet Proteus, my direction-giver, Let us into the city presently To sort some gentlemen well skill'd in music: I have a sonnet, that will serve the turn, To give the onset to thy good advice.

Duke. About it gentlemen.

Pro. We'll wait upon your grace till after supper:

And afterward determine our proceedings.

Duke. Even now about it; I will pardon you. [Exeunt.

ACT IV.

SCENE I.-A Forest, near Mantua.
Enter certain OUTLAWS.

1 Out. Fellows, stand fast; I see a passenger. 2 Out. If there be ten, shrink not, but down

Enter VALENTINE and SPEED.

with 'em.

2 Out. And I from Mantua, for a gentleman, Whom, in my mood, I stabb'd unto the heart. 1 Out. And I, for such like petty crimes as these.

But to the purpose, -(for we cite our faults,
That they may hold excus'd our lawless lives,)
And, partly, seeing you are beautified
With goodly shape; and by your own report
A linguist; and a man of such perfection,
As we do in our quality much want;-

2 Out. Indeed, because you are a banish'á

man,

Therefore, above the rest, we parley to you:
Are you content to be our general?
To make a virtue of necessity,
And live, as we do, in this wilderness?

3 Out. What say'st thou? wilt thou be of our
consórt?
Say, ay, and be the captain of us all:

3 Out. Stand, Sir, and throw us that you have We'll do thee homage, and be rul'd by thee, about you;

If not, we'll make you sit, and rifle you.
Speed. Sir, we are undone! these are the
villains

That all the travellers do fear so much.
Val. My friends,-

1 Out. That's not so, Sir; we are your enemies.
2 Out. Peace; we'll hear him.

3 Out. Ay, by my beard, will we;

For he's a propert man.

Val. Then know, that I have little wealth to

A man I am, cross'd ss'd with adversity:

[lose;

My riches are these poor habiliments,
Of which if you should here disfurnish me,
You take the sum and substance that I have.

2 Out. Whither travel you?

Val. To Verona.

1 Out. Whence came you?

Val. From Milan.

3 Out. Have you long sojourned there?

Val. Some sixteen months; and longer might

have staid,

If crooked fortune had not thwarted me.
1 Out. What, were you banish'd thence?
Val. I was.

2 Out. For what offence?

Love thee as our commander, and our king.
1 Out. But if thou scorn our courtesy, thou
diest.

2 Out. Thou shalt not live to brag what we
have offer'd.

Val. I take your offer, and will live with [you;

Provided that you do no outrages

On silly women, or poor passengers.

3 Out. No, we detest such vile base practices. Come, go with us, we'll bring thee to our

crews,

And show thee all the treasure we have got;
Which, with ourselves, all rest at thy dispose.
[Exeunt.

SCENE II.-Milan. -Court of the Palace.
Enter PROTEUS.

Pro. Already have I been false to Valentine,
And now I must be as unjust to Thurio.
Under the colour of commending him,
I have access my own love to prefer;
But Silvia is too fair, too true, too holy,
To be corrupted with my worthless gifts.
When I protest true loyalty to her,

Val. For that which now torments me to When to her beauty I commend my vows,

rehearse:

I kill'd a man, whose death I much repent;
But yet I slew him manfully in fight,
Without false vantage, or base treachery.

so:

1 Out. Why ne'er repent it, if it were done But were you banish'd for so small a fault? Val. 1 was, and held me glad of such a doom. 1 Out. Have you the tongues?‡

Val. My youthful travel therein made me Or else I often had been miserable. [happy; 3 Out. By the bare scalp of Robin Hood's fat friar,

This fellow were a king for our wild faction.

1 Out. We'll have him: Sirs, a word.

Speed. Master, be one of them;

It is an honourable kind of thievery.

Val. Peace, illain!

2 Out. Tell us this: Have you any thing to

take to?

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Pro. Sir, but I do; or else I would be hence.
Thu. Whom? Silvia?

Pro. Ay, Silvia, for your sake.

Thu. I thank you for your own. Now, gen

Let's tune, and to it lustily a while. [tlemen,

* Lawful. + Anger, resentment. ‡ Passionate reproaches

Enter Host, at a distance; and JULIA in boy's clothes.

Host. Now, my young guest! methinks you're allycholy; I pray you, why is it?

Jul. Marry, mine host, because I cannot be

merry.

Host. Come, we'll have you merry: I'll bring you where you will hear music, and see the gentleman that you ask'd for.

Jul. But shall I hear him speak?

Host. Ay, that you shall.
Jul. That will be music.

Host. Hark! hark!

Jul. Is he among these?

Host. Ay: but peace, let's hear 'em.

SONG.

Who is Silvia? What is she,

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this,

That presently you hie you home to bed.
Thou subtle, perjur'd, false, disloyal man!
Think'st thou, I am so shallow, so conceitless,
To be seduced by thy flattery,

[Music plays. That hast deceiv'd so many with thy vows?
Return, return, and make thy love amends.
For me, by this pale queen of night I swear,
I am so far from granting thy request,
That I despise thee for thy wrongful suit;
And by and by intend to chide myself, t
Even for this time I spend in talking to thee.
Pro. I grant, sweet love, that I did love a

That all our swains commend her?

Holy, fair, and wise is she;

The heavens such grace did lend her
That she might admired be.

Is she kind, as she is fuir?
For beauty lives with kindness:
Love doth to her eyes repair,

To help him of his blindness;
And, being help'd, inhabits there.
Then to Silvia let us sing,
That Silvia is excelling;
She excels each mortal thing,
Upon the dull earth dwelling :
To her let us garlands bring.

Host. How now? are you sadder than you

were before?

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one thing?

Jul. I would always have one play but one thing. But, host, doth this Sir Proteus, that tve talk on, often resort unto this gentlewoman? Host. I tell you what Launce, his man, told me, he loved her out of all nick.*

Jul. Where is Launce?

Host. Gone to seek his dog; which, to-morrow, by his master's command, he must carry for a present to his lady.

Jul. Peace! stand aside! the company parts.

Pro. Sir Thurio, fear not you! I will so plead, That you shall say, my cunning drift excels.

Thu. Where meet we?

Pro. At saint Gregory's well.
Thu. Farewell.

[Exeunt THURIO and Musicians.

SILVIA appears above, at her window.
Pro. Madam, good even to your ladyship.
Sil. I thank you for your music, gentlemen:
Who is that that spake?

truth,

Pro. One, lady, if you knew his pure heart's you'd quickly learn to know him by his voice. Beyond all reckoning.

But she is dead.

Jul. 'Twere false if I should speak it;

[lady;

[Aside.

For, I am sure, she is not buried.
Sil. Say, that she be; yet Valentine, thy

friend,
Survives; to whom, thyself art witness,
I am betroth'd: And art thou not asham'd
To wrong him with thy importúnacy?

Pro. I likewise hear, that Valentine is dead.
Sil. And so, suppose, am I; for in his grave
Assure thyself, my love is buried.

Pro. Sweet lady, let me rake it from the

earth.

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Or, at the least, in hers sepulchre thine.

[Aside

Jul. He heard not that.
Pro. Madam, if your heart be so obdurate,
Vouchsafe me yet your picture for my love,
The picture that is hanging in your chamber;
To that I'll speak, to that I'll sigh and weep:
For, since the substance of your perfect self
Is else devoted, I am but a shadow;
And to your shadow I will make true love.

Jul. If 'twere a substance, you would, sure,
deceive it,

And make it but a shadow, as I am. [Aside,
Sil. I am very loath to be your idol, Sir;

well

But, since your falsehood shall become you
To worship shadows, and adore false shapes,
Send to me in the morning, and I'll send And so good rest.

Pro. As wretches have o'er-night,
That wait for execution in the morn.

[Exeunt PROTEUS; and SILVIA from above.
Jul. Host, will you go?
Host. By my hallidom, I was fast asleep.
Jul. Pray you, where lies Sir Proteus?

Host. Marry, at my house: Trust me, I think, 'tis almost day.

Jul. Not so; but it hath been the longest

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Egl. Your servant, and your friend; One that attends your ladyship's command. Sil. Sir Eglamour, a thousand times good

morrow.

Egl. As many, worthy lady, to yourself. According to your ladyship's impose,* I am thus early come, to know what service It is your pleasure to command me in.

Sil. O Eglamour, thou art a gentleman, (Think not, I flatter, for, I swear, I do not,) Valiant, wise, remorseful, well accomplish'd. ignorant, what dear good will I bear unto the banish'd Valentine; Nor how my father would enforce me marry Vain Thurio, who my very soul abhorr'd. Thyself hast lov'd; and I have heard thee say, No grief did ever come so near thy heart, As when thy lady and thy true love died, Upon whose grave thou vow'dst pure chastity. Sir Eglamour, I would to Valentine, To Mantua, where I hear he makes abode; And, for the ways are dangerous to pass, I do desire thy worthy company, Upon whose faith and honour I repose. Urge not my father's anger, Eglamour, But think upon my grief, a lady's grief; And on the justice of my flying hence, To keep me from a most unholy match, Which heaven and fortune still reward with

plagues.

I do desire thee, even from a heart
As full of sorrows as the sea of sands,
To bear me company, and go with me:
If not, to hide what I have said to thee,
That I may venture to depart alone.

Egl. Madam, I pity much your grievances;
Which since I know they virtuously are plac'd,
I give consent to go along with you;
Recking as little what betideth me,
As much I wish all good befortune you.
When will you go?

Sil. This evening coming.

Egl. Where shall I meet you?
Sil. At friar Patrick's cell,
Where I intend holy confession.
Egl. I will not fail your ladyship:
Good-morrow, gentle lady.

Sil, Good-morrow, kind Sir Eglamour.

SCENE IV.-The same.
Enter LAUNCE, with his dog.

[Exeunt.

Laun. When a man's servant shall play the cur with him, look you, it goes hard: one that I brought up of a puppy; one that I saved from drowning, when three or four of his blind brothers and sisters went to it! I have taught him-even as one would say precisely, Thus I would teach a dog. I was sent to deliver him, as a present to mistress Silvia, from my master; and I came no sooner into the dining-chamber, but he steps me to her trencher, and steals her capon's leg. O, 'tis a foul thing, when a cur cannot keeps himself in all companies! I would have, as one should say, one that takes upon him to be a dog indeed, to be, as it were, a dog at all things. If I had not had more wit than he, to take a fault upon me that he did, I think verily he had been hanged for't; sure as I live, he had suffered for't: you shall judge. He thrusts me himself into the company of three or four gentleman-like dogs, under the duke's table: he had not been there (bless the mark) a pissing while; but all the chamber smelt him. with dog, says one; What cur is

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says another; Whip him out, says the third Hang him up, says the duke. I, having been acquainted with the smell before, knew it was Crab; and goes me to the fellow that whips the dogs: Friend, quoth I, you mean to whip the dog? Ay, marry, do I, quoth he. You do him the more wrong, quoth I; 'twas I did the thing you wot of. He makes me no more ado, but whips me out of the chamber. How many masters would do this for their servant? Nay, I'll be sworn I have sat in the stocks for puddings he hath stolen, otherwise he had been executed: I have stood on the pillory for geese he hath killed, otherwise he had suffered for't: thou think'st not of this now!-Nay, I remember the trick you served me, when I took my leave of madam Silvia; did not I bid thee still mark me, and do as I do? When didst thou see me heave up my leg, and make water against a gentlewoman's fartingale? didst thou ever see me do such a trick?

Enter PROTEUS and JULIA.

Pro. Sebastian is thy name? I like thee well, And will employ thee in some service presently. Jul. In what you please;-I will do what I

can.

Pro. I hope, thou wilt.-How now, you whoreson peasant? [TO LAUNCE. Where have you been these two days loitering? Laun. Marry, Sir, I carried mistress Silvia the dog you bade me.

Pro. And what says she, to my little jewel? Laun. Marry, she says, your dog was a cur; and tells you, currish thanks is good enough for such a present.

Pro. But she received my dog?

Laun. No, indeed, she did not: here have I brought him back again.

Pro. What, didst thou offer her this from me? Laun. Ay, Sir; the other squirrel was stolen from me by the hangman's boys in the marketplace: and then I offered her mine own; who is a dog as big as ten of yours, and therefore the gift the greater.

Pro. Go, get thee hence, and find my dog
Or ne'er return again into my sight. [again,
Away, I say: Stay'st thou to vex me here?
A slave, that, still an end, turns me to shame.
[Exit LAUNCE.

Sebastian, I have entertained thee,
Partly, that I have need of such a youth,
That can with some discretion do my business,
For 'tis no trusting to yon foolish lowt;
But, chiefly, for thy face, and thy behaviour;
Which (if my augury deceive me not)
Witness good bringing up, fortune, and truth:
Therefore know thou, for this I entertain thee.
Go presently, and take this ring with thee,
Deliver it to madam Silvia:
She loved me well, deliver'd it to me.
Jul. It seems, you loved her not, to leave her
[token:

She's dead, belike.

Pro. Not so; I think she lives.

Jul. Alas!

Pro. Why dost thou cry, alas?
Jul. I cannot choose but pity her.
Pro. Wherefore should'st thou pity her?

Jul. Because, methinks, that she loved you [as well

As you do love your lady Silvia:
She dreams on him, that has forgot her love;
You dote on her, that cares not for your love.
'Tis pity, love should be so contrary;
And thinking on it makes me cry, alas!

Pro. Well, give her that ring, and therewithal

* In the end.

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