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Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas, good Sir Topas, go to my lady.

Clo. Out, hyperbolical fiend! how vexest thou this man? talkest thou nothing but of ladies? Sir To. Well said, master parson.

Mal. Sir Topas, never was man thus wronged: good Sir Topas, do not think I am mad; they have laid me here in hideous darkness.

Clo. Fie, thou dishonest Sathan! I call thee by the most modest terms; for I am one of those gentle ones, that will use the devil himself with courtesy: Say'st thou, that house is dark?

Mal. As hell, Sir Topas.

Clo. Why, it hath bay-windows* transparent as barricadoes, and the clear stones towards the south-north are as lustrous as ebony; and yet complainest thou of obstruction?

Mal. I am not mad, Sir Topas; I say to you, this house is dark.

Clo. Madman, thou errest: I say, there is no darkness, but ignorance; in which thou art more puzzled, than the Egyptians in their fog. Mal. I say, this house is as dark as ignorance, though ignorance were as dark as hell; and I say, there was never man thus abused: I am no more mad than you are; make the trial of it in any constant question.t

Clo. What is the opinion of Pythagoras, concerning wild-fowl?

Mal. That the soul of our grandam might haply inhabit a bird.

Clo. What thinkest thou of his opinion?

Mal. I think nobly of the soul, and no way approve his opinion.

Clo. Fare thee well: Remain thou still in darkness: thou shalt hold the opinion of Pythagoras, ere I will allow of thy wits; and fear to kill a woodcock, lest thou dispossess the soul of thy grandam. Fare thee well. Mal. Sir Topas, Sir Topas,

Sir To. My most exquisite Sir Topas!
Clo. Nay, I am for all waters.‡

Mar. Thou might'st have done this without thy beard, and gown; he sees thee not.

Sir To. To him in thine own voice, and bring me word how thou findest him: I would, we were well rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently delivered, I would he were; for I am now so far in offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and by to my chamber.

[Exeunt Sir TOBY and MARIA.

Clo. Hey Robin, jolly Robin,

Tell me how thy lady does. [Singing.

Mal. Fool,

Clo. My lady

My lady is unkind, perdy.

Mal. Fool,

Clo. Alas, why is she so?

Mal. Fool, I say ;

Clo. She loves another-Who calls, ha?: Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and paper; as I am a gendeman, I will

live to be thankful to thee for't.

Clo. Master Malvolio!

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Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,一 Clo. Alas, Sir, be patient. What say you, Sir? I am shent for speaking to you.

Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some paper; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any man in Illyria.

Clo. Well-a-day, that you were, Sir!
Mal. By this hand, I am: Good fool, some

ink, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down to my lady; it shall advantage thee more than ever the bearing earing of letter did.

Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are you not mad indeed? or do you but counterfeit?

Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink.

Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: I pr'ythee, begone. Clo.

I am gone, Sir,
And anon, Sir,
I'll be with you again,
In a trice;

Like to the old vice,t
Your need to sustain;

Who with dagger of lath,
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil:
Like a mad lad,
Pare thy nails, dad,
Adieu, goodman drivel.

SCENE III.-OLIVIA'S Garden.
Enter SEBASTIAN.

[Exit.

Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; This pearl she gave me, I do feel't, and see't: And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then?

I could not find him at the Elephant:
Yet there he was; and there I found this credit,‡
That he did range the town to seek me out.
His counsel now might do me golden service:
For though my soul disputes well with my

sense,

That this may be some error, but no madness,
Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune
So far exceed all instance, all discourse,
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes,
And wrangle with my reason, that persuades
To any other trust,|| but that I am mad, [me
Or else the lady's mad; yet if 'twere so,
She could not sway her house, command her
Take, and give back, affairs, and their des-
patch,
[ing,
With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bear-
As, I perceive, she does: there's something in't.
That is deceivable. But here comes the lady.

followers,

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Enter OLIVIA and a PRIEST.

I come again. I go, Sir; but I would not have Oli. Blame not this haste of mine: If you you to think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetousness: but, as you say, Sir, let your bounty take a nap, I will awake it anon. [Exit CLOWN.

mean well,
Now go with me, and with this holy man,
Into the chantry by: there, before him,
And underneath that consecrated roof,
Plight me the full assurance of your faith;
That my most jealous and too doubtful soul
May live at peace: He shall conceal it,
Whilest you are willing it shall come to note;
What time we will our celebration keep
According to my birth.-What do you say?

Seb. I'll follow this good man, and go with

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Clo. No, Sir, the worse.

Duke. How can that be?

Clo. Marry, Sir, they praise me, and make an ass of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass: so that by my foes, Sir, I profit in the knowledge of myself; and by my friends I am abused: so that, conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for my friends, and the better for my foes.

Duke. Why, this is excellent.

Clo. By my troth, Sir, no; though it please

you to be one of my friends.

Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me;

there's gold.

Clo. But that it would be double-dealing,
Sir, I would you could make it another.
Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.

Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, Sir, for this once, and let your flesh and blood obey it. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer; there's another.

Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play; and the old saying is, the third pays for all: the triplex, Sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of St. Bennet, Sir, may put you in mind; One, two, three.

Enter ANTONIO and OFFICERS.

Vio. Here comes the man, Sir, that did rescue

me.

Duke. That face of his I do remember well;
Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd
As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war:
A bawbling vessel was he captain of,
For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable;
With which such scathful grapple did he make
With the most noble bottom of our fleet,
That very envy, and the tongue of loss,
Cried fame and honour on him. What's the
matter?

1 Off. Orsino, this is that Antonio,
That took the Phoenix, and her fraught,† from
Candy;

And this is he, that did the Tiger board,
When your young nephew Titus lost his leg:
Here in the streets, desperate of shame, and
state,
In private brabble did we apprehend him.
Vio. He did me kindness, Sir; drew on my
side;

But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me,
I know not what 'twas, but distraction.

Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief!
What foolish boldness brought thee to their

mercies,

Whom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear,
Hast made thine enemies?

Ant. Orsino, noble Sir,

Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you
give me;

Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate,
Though, I confess, on base and ground enough,
Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither:
That most ungrateful boy there, by your side,
From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth
Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was:
His life I gave him, and did thereto add
My love, without retention, or restraint
All his in dedication: for his sake,
Did I expose myself, pure for his love,
Into the danger of this adverse town;
Drew to defend him, when he was beset:
Where being apprehended, his false cunning,
(Not meaning to partake with me in danger,)
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance,
And grew a twenty-years-removed thing,
While one would wink; denied me mine own

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Duke. You can fool no more money out of, But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are

me at this throw if you will let your lady know, I am here to speak with her, and bring her along with you, it may awake my bounty

further.

Clo. Marry, Sir, lullaby to your bounty, till • Little chapel.

madness:

Three months this youth hath tended upon me;
But more of that anon.- Take him aside.
Oli. What would my lord, but that he may
not have,

+ Until

* Mischievous.

† Freight.

Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable?-
Cesario, you do not keep promise with me.
Vio. Madam?

Duke. Gracious Olivia,

Oli. What do you say, Cesario? - Good my lord,

Vio. My lord would speak, my duty hushes

me.

Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord, It is as fat and fulsome to mine ear,

As howling after music.

Duke. Still so cruel?

Oli. Still so constant, lord. Duke. What! to perverseness? you uncivil lady,

To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd out,

That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall become him.

Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it,

Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death,
Kill what I love; a savage jealousy,
[this:
That sometime savours nobly?-But hear me
Since you to non-regardance cast my faith,
And that I partly know the instrument

That screws me from my true place in your

favour,

Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still;
But this, your minion, whom, I know, you
love,
And whom, by heaven, I swear, I tender
[dearly,
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye,
Where he sits crowned in his master's spite.
Come boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in
mischief:

1'11 sacrifice the lamb that I do love,
To spite a raven's heart within a dove. [Going.
Vio. And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly:
To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die.

Oli. Where goes Cesario?

Vio. After him I love,

[Following.

More than I love these eyes, more than my life.
More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife;
If I do feign, you witnesses above,
Punish my life, for tainting of my love!

Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguil'd!
Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you

wrong?

Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself! Is it so long!-Call forth the holy father.

Duke. Come away.

[Exit an Attendant. [TO VIOLA. Oli. Whither my lord?-Cesario, husband,

stay.

Duke. Husband?

Oli. Ay, husband; Can he that deny?
Duke. Her husband, sirrah?

Vio. No, my lord, not I.

Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear, That makes thee strangle thy propriety :† Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up; Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou

art

[father!

As great as that thou fear'st.-0, welcome,
Re-enter Attendant and PRIEST.

Father, I charge thee, by thy reverence,
Here to unfold (though lately we intended
To keep in darkness, what occasion now
Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know,
Hath newly past between this youth and me.

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When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case?*
Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow,
That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow?
Farewell, and take her; but direct thy feet,
Where thou and I henceforth may never meet.
Vio. My lord, I do protest,-
Oli. O, do not swear;

[fear.

Hold little faith, though thou hast too much

Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, with his head broke.

Sir And. For the love of God, a surgeon; send one presently to Sir Toby.

Oli. What's the matter?

Sir And. He has broke my head across, and has given Sir Toby a bloody coxcomb too: for the love of God, your help: I had rather than forty pounds, is, I were at home.

Oli. Who has done this, Sir Andrew?

Sir And. The count's gentleman, one Cesario: we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil incardinate. Duke. My gentleman, Cesario!

broke my head for nothing; and that that I Sir And. Od's lifelings here he is:-You

did, I was set on to do't by Sir Toby.

Vio. Why do you speak to me? I never hurt you: You drew your sword upon me, without cause; But I bespake you fair, and hurt you

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* Skin,

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But, had it been the brother of my blood,

I must have done no less, with wit, and safety.
You throw a strange regard upon me, and
By that I do perceive it hath offended you;
Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows

We made each other but so late ago.

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Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, and Hath my maid's garments: he, upon some

A natural perspective, that is, and is not.

two persons;

Seb. Antonio, O my dear Antonio!

How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me, Since I have lost thee.

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An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin
Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian?
Oli. Most wonderful!

Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother:

Nor can there be that deity in my nature,
Of here and every where. I had a sister,

Vio. The captain, that did bring me first on

shore,

action,

Is now in durance; at Malvolio's suit,

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A gentleman, and follower of my lady's.

And yet, alas, now I remember me,
They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract.
Re-enter CLOWN, with a letter.

A most extracting frenzy of mine own
From my remembrance clearly banish'd his.-
How does he, sirrah ?

Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do: he has here writ a letter to you, I should have given it you to-day morning; but as a

Whom the blind waves and surges have de- madman's epistles are no gospels, so it skills

vour'd:

Of charity, what kin are you to me?

[TO VIOLA. What countryman? what name? what parentage?

Vio. Of Messaline: Sebastian was my father; Such a Sebastian was my brother too, So went he suited to his watery tomb: If spirits can assume both form and suit You come to fright us.

Seh. A spirit I am, indeed; But am in that dimension grossly clad. Which from the womb I did participate, Were you a woman, as the rest goes even, I should my tears let fall upon your cheek, And say-Thrice welcome, drowned Viola! Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow. Seb. And so had mine.

Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth

Had number'd thirteen years.

Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul! He finished, indeed, his mortal act, That day that made my sister thirteen years.

Vio. If nothing letst to make us happy both,

But this my masculine usurp'd attire,
Do not embrace me, till each circumstance
Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump,
That I am Viola: which to confirm,

I'll bring you to a captain in this town,
Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle

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You are betroth'd both to a maid and man.

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Oli. Read it you, sirrah. Fab. [Reads. By the Lord, madam, you wrong me, and the world shall know it: though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that induced me to the semblance I put on; with the which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or you much shame. Think of me as you please. I leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of my injury.

hither.

The madly-used MALVOLIO.

Oli. Did he write this? Clo. Ay, madam. Duke. This savours not much of distraction. Oli. See him deliver'd, Fabian; bring him [Exit FABIAN. My lord, so please you, these things further thought on, To think me as well a sister as a wife, One day shall crown the alliance on't, so please you, Here at my house, and at my proper cost

Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace your offer.

Your master quits you; [To VIOLA.] and, for your service done him,

So much against the mettle of your sex,

Duke. Be not amaz'd; right noble is his So far beneath your soft and tender breeding, Mal. Madam, you have done me wrong,

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* Voice. + Attend.

Frame and constitution * Cheated.

Notorious wrong.

Oli. Have I, Malvolio? no.

Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled

thee! Clo. Why, some are born great, some achieve Mal. Lady you have. Pray you, peruse that greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon letter:

You must not now deny it is your hand,
Write from it, if you can, in hand, or phrase;
Or say, 'tis not your seal, nor your invention:
You can say none of this: Well, grant it then,
And tell me, in the modesty of honour,
Why you have given me such clear lights of
favour;
[you,
Bade me come smiling, and cross-garter'd to
To put on yellow stockings, and to frown
Upon Sir Toby, and the lighter people:
And, acting this in an obedient hope,
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison'd,
Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest,
And made the most notorious geck, and gull,
That e'er invention play'd on? tell me why.

Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing,
I confess, much like the character:

Though, I confess,
But, out of question, 'tis Maria's hand.
And now I do bethink me, it was she
First told me, thou wast mad; then cam'st in

them. I was one, Sir, in this interlude; one Sir Topas, Sir; but that's all one:-By the Lord, fool, I am not mad;-But do you remember? Madam, why laugh you at such a barren rascal? an you smile not, he's gagg'd: And thus the whirligig of time brings in his revenges. Mal. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of [Exit.

you.

Oli. He hath been most notoriously abus'd.
Duke. Pursue him, and entreat him to a

peace:

He hath not told us of the captain yet;
When that is known and golden time convents,t
A solemn combination shall be made

Of our dear souls-Mean time, sweet sister,
We will not part from hence. - Cesario, come;
For so you shall be, while you are a man;
But, when in other habits you are seen,
Orsino's mistress, and his fancy's queen.

SONG,

smiling,

[Exeunt.

And in such forms which here were presuppos'd Clo. When that I was and a little tiny boy,

Upon thee in the letter. Pr'ythee, be content:
This practice hath most shrewdly pass'd upon

But, when we know the grounds and authors

thee;
of it,

Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
Of thine own cause.

Fab. Good madam, hear me speak;
And let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come,
Taint the condition of this present hour,
Which I have wonder'd at. In hope it shall not,
Most freely I confess, myself, and Toby,
Set this device against Malvolio here,

Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts
We had conceiv'd against him: Maria writ
The letter, at Sir Toby's great importance;‡
In recompense whereof, he hath married her.
How with a sportful malice it was follow'd,
May rather pluck on laughter than revenge;
If that the injuries be justly weigh'd,
That have on both sides past.

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With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,

A foolish thing was but a toy,

For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came to man's estate,

With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, 'Gainst knave and thief men shut their gate. For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came, alas! to wive,

With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain it raineth every day.

But when I came unto my bed,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
With toss-pots still had drunken head,
For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain,
But that's all one, our play is done,
And we'll strive to please you every day.
[Exit.

{ Shall serve.

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