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from such observations, will consider her father's butler, not as a butler but as a man. In like manner, when men converse with women, the well-bred and intelligent are looked upon with an observation suitable to their different talents or accomplishments, without respect to their sex; while a mere woman can be observed under no consideration but that of a woman; and there can be but one reason for placing any value upon her, or losing time in her company. Wherefore, I am of opinion, that the rule for pleasing long is, to obtain such qualifications as would make them so, were they not women.
Let the beauteous Clomira then shew us her real face, and know that every stage of life has its peculiar charms, and that there is no necessity for fifty to be fifteen. That childish colouring of her cheeks is now as ungraceful, as that shape would have been when her face wore its real countenance. She has sense, and ought to know, that if she will not follow nature, nature will follow her. Time then has made hat person which had, when I visited her grandfather, an agreeable bloom, sprightly air, and soft utterance, now no less graceful in a lovely aspect, an awful manner, and maternal wisdom. But her heart was so set upon her first character, that she neglects and repines at her present; not that she is against a more stayed conduct in others, for she recommends gravity, circumspection, and severity of countenance, to her daughter. Thus, against all chronology, the girl is the sage, the mother the fine lady.
But these great evils proceed from an unaccountably wild method in the education of the better half of the world, the women. We have no such thing as a standard for good-breeding. I was the other day at my lady Wealthy's, and asked one of her daughters how she did ? She answered, “She never conversed with men.” The same day I visited at lady Plantwell's, and asked her daughter the same question. She answers,
• What is that to you, you old thief ?" and gives me a slap on the shoulders.
I defy any man in England, except he knows the family before he enters, to be able to judge whether he shall be agreeable or not when he comes into it. You find either some odd old woman, who is permitted to rule as long as she lives, in hopes of her death, and to interrupt all things;
or some impertinent young woman, who will talk sillily upon the strength of looking beautifully. I will not answer for it, but it may be, that I (like all other old fellows) have a fondness for the fashions and manners which prevailed when I was young and in fashion myself. But certain it is, that the taste of grace and beauty is very
much lowered. The fine women they shew me now-a-days are at best but pretty girls to me who have seen Sacharissa, when all the world repeated the poems she inspired; and Villaria,* when a youthful king was her subject. The things you follow, and make songs on now, should be sent to knit, or sit down to bobbins or bone-lace; they are indeed neat, and so are their sempstřesses; they are pretty, and so are their handmaids. But that graceful motion, that awful mien, and that winning attraction, which grew upon them from the thoughts and conversations they met with in my time, are now no more seen. They tell me I .am old: I am glad I am so; for I do not like your present
Those among us who set up for any thing of decorum, do so mistake the matter, that they offend on the other side, Five
ladies, who are of no small fame for their great severity of manners, and exemplary behaviour, would lately go no where with their lovers but to an organ-loft in a church; where they had a cold treat, and some few opera songs to their great refreshment and edification. Whether these prudent persons had not been as much so if this had been done at a tavern, is not very hard to determine. It is such silly starts and incoherences as these, which undervalue the beauteous sex, and puzzle us in our choice of sweetness of temper and simplicity of manners, which are the only lasting charms of woman. But I must leave this important subject, at present, for some matters which press for publication: as you will observe in the following letter:
“London, August 26, Artillery Ground. « DEAR SIR, " It is natural for distant relations to claim kindred with a rising family; though at this time zeal to my country, not interest, calls me out. The city-forces being shortly to take the field, all good Protestants would be pleased that their arms and valour should shine with equal lustre. A council of war was lately held, the Honourable Colonel Mortar being president. After many debates, it was unanimously resolved, That Major Blunder, a most expert officer, should be detached for Birmingham, to buy arms, and to prove his firelocks on the spot, as well to prevent expense, as disappointment in the day of battle. The major being a person of consummate experience, was invested with a discretionary power. He knew from ancient story, that securing the rear, and making a glorious retreat, was the most celebrated piece of conduct. Accordingly such measures were taken to prevent surprise in the rear of his arms, that even Pallas herself, in the shape of rust, could pot invade them. They were drawn into close order, firmly embodied, and arrived securely without touch-holes. Great and national actions deserve popular applause; and as praise is no expense to the public, therefore, dearest kinsman, I communicate this to you, as ell to oblige this nursery of heroes, as to do justice to my native country.
* The Duchess of Cleveland.
“ Your most affectionate kinsman,
“ OFFSPRING Twig." A war-horse belonging to one of the colonels of the artillery, to be let or sold. He
be seen adorned with ribands, and set forth to the best advantage, the next training-day.
END OF VOL. I.
Printed by J. F. Dove, St. John's Square.