-Another wonder still!-Why, sirrah! Ferdinand, you have not stole a nun, have you? FERDINAND. She is a nun in nothing but her habit, sir; look nearer, and you will perceive 'tis Clara d'Almanza, Don Guzman's daughter-and, with pardon for stealing a wedding, she is also my wife. 185 JEROME. Gadsbud, and a great fortune.Ferdinand, you are a prudent young rogue, and I forgive you; and, ifecks, you are a pretty little damsel. Give your father-in-law a kiss, you smiling rogue. 190 CLARA. There, old gentleman; and now mind you behave well to us. JEROME. Ifecks, those lips ha'n't been chilled by kissing beads!-Egad, I believe I shall grow the best-humored fellow in Spain. -Lewis! Sancho! Carlos! d'ye hear? are all my doors thrown open? Our children's weddings are the only holidays our age can boast; and then we drain, with pleasure, the little stock of spirits time has left us. (Music within) But see, here come our friends and neighbors! 202 THE SCHOOL FOR SCANDAL A COMEDY BY RICHARD BRINSLEY SHERIDAN In maiden madness, virulently bold!- -and while 22 27 Adorning fashion, unadorned by dress, The softer charm that in her manner lies 58 The hand divine, with a less partial care, 64 But moving Love himself appears to teach Their action, though denied to rule her speech; And thou who seest her speak and dost not hear, Mourn not her distant accents 'scape thine What though her peaceful breast should ne'er allow 83 Subduing frowns to arm her altered brow, 90 SCENE I. LADY SNEERWELL'S house Discovered, LADY SNEERWELL at her dressingtable; SNAKE drinking chocolate LADY SNEERWELL. The paragraphs, you say, Mr. Snake, were all inserted? SNAKE. They were, madam; and, as I copied them myself in a feigned hand, there can be no suspicion whence they came. 5 LADY SNEERWELL. Did you circulate the report of Lady Brittle's intrigue with Captain -Boastall? SNAKE. That's in as fine a train as your ladyship could wish. In the common course of things, I think it must reach Mrs. Clackitt's ears within four-and-twenty hours; and then, you know, the business is as good as done. 14 LADY SNEERWELL. Why, truly, Mrs. Clackitt has a very pretty talent, and a great deal of industry. SNAKE. True, madam, and has been tolerably successful in her day. To my ite; the latter attached to Maria, Sir Peter's ward, and confessedly beloved by her. Now, on the face of these circumstances, it is utterly unaccountable to me why you, the widow of a city knight, with a good jointure, should not close with the passion of a man of such character and expectations as Mr. Surface; and more so, why you should be so uncommonly earnest to destroy the mutual attachment subsisting between his brother knowledge, she has been the cause of six 29 SNAKE. 'Tis very true. She generally designs well, has a free tongue and a bold invention; but her coloring is too dark and her outlines often extravagant. She wants that delicacy of tint and mellowness of sneer which distinguish your ladyship's scandal. LADY SNEERWELL. You are partial, Snake. SNAKE. Not in the least; everybody allows that Lady Sneerwell can do more with a word or look than many can with the most labored detail, even when they happen to have a little truth on their side to support it. LADY SNEERWELL. Yes, my dear Snake; and I am no hypocrite to deny the satisfaction I reap from the success of my efforts. Wounded myself, in the early part of my life, by the envenomed tongue of slander, I confess I have since known no pleasure equal to the reducing others to the level of my own injured reputation. 51 SNAKE. Nothing can be more natural. But, Lady Sneerwell, there is one affair in which you have lately employed me, wherein, I confess, I am at a loss to guess your motives. 56 LADY SNEERWELL. I conceive you mean with respect to my neighbor, Sir Peter Teazle, and his family? SNAKE. I do. Here are two young men to whom Sir Peter has acted as a kind of guardian since their father's death-the eldest possessing the most amiable character and universally well spoken of; the youngest, the most dissipated and extravagant young fellow in the kingdom, without friends or character: the former an avowed admirer of your ladyship, and apparently your favor 79 LADY SNEERWELL. Then, at once to unravel this mystery, I must inform you that love has no share whatever in the intercourse between Mr. Surface and me. SNAKE. Yet still I am more puzzled why you should interest yourself in his success. LADY SNEERWELL. How dull you are! Cannot you surmise the weakness which I hitherto, through shame, have concealed even from you? Must I confess that Charles —that libertine, that extravagant, that bankrupt in fortune and reputation-that he it is for whom I'm thus anxious and malicious, and to gain whom I would sacrifice everything? 100 SNAKE. Now, indeed, your conduct appears consistent; but how came you and Mr. Surface so confidential? LADY SNEERWELL. For our mutual interest. I have found him out a long time since. I know him to be artful, selfish, and malicious -in short, a sentimental knave-while with Sir Peter, and indeed with all his acquaintance, he passes for a youthful miracle of prudence, good sense, and benevolence. 110 SNAKE. Yes; yet Sir Peter vows he has not his equal in England, and, above all, he praises him as a man of sentiment. LADY SNEERWELL. True; and with the assistance of his sentiment and hypocrisy he has brought Sir Peter entirely into his interest with regard to Maria, while poor |