-We seldom find

Much sense with an exalted fortune joined.

Stepney.

army, invited ten or twelve of them to sup with him; and at the same time invited two or three friends who were very severe against the manners and morals of gentleMR. SPECTATOR,-I am a young woman men of that profession. It happened one of mineteen, the only daughter of very of them brought two captains of his regi- wealthy parents, and have my whole life ment newly come into the army, who at been used with a tenderness which did me the first onset engaged the company with no great service in my education. I have very lewd healths and suitable discourse. perhaps an uncommon desire for knowledge You may easily imagine the confusion of of what is suitable to my sex and quality; the entertainer, who finding some of his but, as far as I can remember, the while friends very uneasy, desired to tell them dispute about me has been, whether such the story of a great man, one Mr. Locke, a thing was proper for the child to de, cr (whom I find you frequently mention) that not? or whether such or such a food was being invited to dine with the then lords the more wholesome for the young lady to Halifax, Anglesey, and Shaftesbury, im- eat? This was ill for my shape, that for my mediately after dinner, instead of conver- complexion, and the other for my eyes I sation, the cards were called for, where am not extravagant when I tell you, I do the bad or good success produced the usual not know that I have trod upon the very passions of gaming, Mr. Locke, retiring earth ever since I was ten years old. A to a window, and writing, my lord Angle- coach or chair I am obliged to for all my sey desired to know what he was writing: motions from one place to another ever "Why, my lords," answered he, "I could since I can remember. All who had to do not sleep last night for the pleasure and to instruct me, have ever been bringing improvement I expected from the conver-stories of the notable things I have said, sation of the greatest men of the age." and the womanly manner of my behaving This so sensibly stung them, that they myself upon such and such an occasion. gladly compounded to throw their cards in This has been my state until I came tothe fire, if he would his paper, and so a con-wards years of womanhood; and ever since versation ensued fit for such persons. This grew towards the age of fifteen I have story pressed so hard upon the young cap-been abused after another manner. Now, tains, together with the concurrence of their superior officers, that the young fellows left the company in confusion. Sir, I know you hate long things; but if you like it you may contract it, or how you will; but I think it has a moral in it.

forsooth, I am so killing, no one can safely speak to me. Our house is frequented by men of sense, and I love to ask questions when I fall into such conversation; but I am cut short with something or other about my bright eyes. There is, sir, a language But, sir, I am told you are a famous particular for talking to women in; and mechanic as well as a looker-on, and there- none but those of the very first good-breedfore humbly propose you would inventing (who are very few, and who seldom some padlock, with full power under your come into my way) can speak to us with ot hand and seal, for all modest persons, regard to our sex. Among the generality either men or women, to clap upon the of those they call gentlemen, it is impossi mouths of all such impertinent impudent ble for me to speak upon any subject whatfellows: and I wish you would publish a soever, without provoking somebody to say, proclamation, that no modest person who "Oh! to be sure, fine Mrs. Such-a-coe has value for her countenance, and conse- must be very particularly acquainted with quently would not be put out of it, presume all that; all the world would contribute to to travel after such a day without one of her entertainment and information." Thus, them in their pockets. I fancy a smart sir, I am so handsome, that I murder all Spectator upon this subject would serve for who approach me; so wise, that I want no such a padlock; and that public notice new notices; and so well-bred, that I am may be given in your paper where they treated by all that know me like a fool, for may be had, with directions, price two no one will answer as if I were their friend pence; and that part of the directions may or companion. Pray, sir, be pleased to be, when any person presumes to be guilty take the part of us beauties and fortunes of the above-mentioned crime, the party into your consideration, and do not let us aggrieved may produce it to his face, with be thus flattered out of our senses. I have a request to read it to the company. He got a huzzy of a maid who is most craftily must be very much hardened that could given to this ill quality. I was at first & outface that rebuke; and his farther pu-verted with a certain absurdity the creanishment I leave you to prescribe. Your ture was guilty of in every thing she said.

humble servant,

T.

PENANCE CRUEL.'

She is a country girl; and in the dialect of the shire she was born in, would tell me that every body reckoned her lady had the purest red and white in the world: then

No. 534.] Wednesday, November 12, 1712. she would tell me I was the most like ce

Rarus enim ferme sensus communis in illa

Fortuna

Juv. Sat. viii. 73.

Sisly Dobson in their town, who made the miller make away with himself, and walk

afterwards in the corn-field where they used to meet. With all this, this cunning huzzy can lay letters in my way, and put a billet in my gloves, and then stand in it she knows nothing of it. I do not know, from my birth to this day, that I have been ever treated by any one as I ought; and if it were not for a few books, which I delight in, I should be at this hour a novice to all common sense. Would it not be worth your while to lay down rules for behaviour in this case, and tell people, that we fair ones expect honest plain answers as well as other people? Why must I, good sir, because I have a good air, a fine complexion, and am in the bloom of my years, be misled in all my actions; and have the notions of good and ill confounded in my mind, for no other offence, but because I have the advantages of beauty and fortune? Indeed, sir, what with the silly homage which is paid to us by the sort of people I have above spoken of, and the utter negligence which others have for us, the conversation of us young women of condition is no other than what must expose us to ignorance and vanity, if not vice. All this is humbly submitted to your spectatorial wisdom, by sir, your humble servant,

'SHARLOT WEALTHY,'

'Will's Coffee-house. 'MR. SPECTATOR,-Pray, sir, it will serve to fill up a paper if you put in this; which is only to ask, whether that copy of verses which is a paraphrase of Isaiah, in one of your speculations, is not written by Mr. Pope? Then you get on another line, by putting in, with proper distances, as at the end of a letter, I am, sir, your humble

'MR. SPECTATOR,-I am in the condi-. tion of the idol you was once pleased to mention, and bar-keeper of a coffee-house. I believe it is needless to tell you the opportunities I must give, and the importunities I suffer. But there is one gentleman who besieges me as close as the French did Bouchain. His gravity makes him work cautious, and his regular approaches denote a good engineer. You need not doubt of his oratory, as he is a lawyer; and especially since he has had so little use of it at Westminster, he may spare the more for me.

What then can weak women do? I am willing to surrender, but he would have it at discretion, and I with discretion. In the mean time, whilst we parley, our several interests are neglected. As his siege grows stronger, my tea grows weaker; and while he pleads at my bar, none come to him for counsel but in forma pauperis. Dear Mr. Spectator, advise him not to insist upon hard articles, nor by his irregular desires contradict the well meaning lines of his countenance. If we were agreed, we might settle to something, as soon as we could determine where we should get most by the law-at the coffee-house, or at Westminster. Your humble servant,

'LUCINDA PARLEY.'

A Minute from Mr. John Sly.

The world is pretty regular for about forty rod east and ten west of the observatory of the said Mr. Sly; but he is credibly informed, that when they are got beyond the pass into the Strand, or those who move city-ward are got within Temple-bar, they are just as they were before. It is therefore humbly proposed, that moving centries may be appointed all the busy hours of the day between the Exchange and WestminMR. DAPPERWIT,-I am glad to get ster, and report what passes to your hoanother line forward, by saying that excel-nour, or your subordinate officers, from lent piece is Mr. Pope's; and so, with time to time.' proper distances, I am, your humble servant, THE SPECTATOR,'

servant,

ABRAHAM DAPPERWIT.'

Ordered,

That Mr. Sly name the said officers, pro-. vided he will answer for their principles and morals. T.

MR. SPECTATOR,-I was a wealthy grocer in the city, and as fortunate as diligent; but I was a single man, and you know there are women. One in particular came to my shop, who I wished might, but was No. 535.] Thursday, November 13, 1712.

afraid never would, make a grocer's wife. I thought, however, to take an effectual way of courting, and sold her at less price than I bought, that I might buy at less price than I sold. She, you may be sure, often came and helped me to many customers at the same rate, fancying I was obliged to her. You must needs think this was a good living trade, and my riches must be vastly improved. In fine, I was nigh being declared bankrupt, when I declared myself her lover, and she, herself married. I was just in a condition to support myself, and am now in hopes of growing rich by losing my customers. Yours,

'JEREMY COMFIT.'

Spem longam reseces.

Hor. Od. xi. Lib. 1. 7.

Cut short vain hope. My four hundred and seventy-first speculation turned upon the subject of hope in general. I design this paper as a speculation upon that vain and foolish hope which is misemployed on temporal objects, and produces many sorrows and calamities in human life.

It is a precept several times inculcated by Horace, that we should not entertain a hope of any thing in life, which lies at a great distance from us. The shortness and uncertainty of our time here makes such a

kind of hope unreasonable and absurd. The grave lies unseen between us and the object which we reach after. Where one man lives to enjoy the good he has in view, ten thousand are cut off in the pursuit of it. It happens likewise unluckily, that one hope no sooner dies in us but another rises up in its stead. We are apt to fancy that we shall be happy and satisfied if we possess ourselves of such and such particular enjoyments; but either by reason of their emptiness, or the natural inquietude of the mind, we have no sooner gained one point, but we extend our hopes to another. We still find new inviting scenes and landscapes lying behind those which at a distance terminated our view.

fellow, that would never set his hand to any business during his father's life. When his father died, he left him to the value of a hundred drachmas in Persian money. Alnaschar, in order to make the best of it, laid it out in glasses, bottles, and the finest earthenware. These he piled up in a large open basket, and, having made choice of a very little shop, placed the basket at his feet: and leaned his back upon the wall, in expectation of customers. As he sat in this posture, with his eyes upon the basket, be fell into a most amusing train of thought, and was overheard by one of his neigh bours, as he talked to himself in the following manner: This basket,' says he, 'cost me at the wholesale merchant's a The natural consequences of such reflec- hundred drachmas, which is all I have in tions are these, that we should take care the world. I shall quickly make two hunnot to let our hopes run out into too great a dred of it, by selling it in retail. These two length; that we should sufficiently weigh hundred drachmas will in a very little while the objects of our hope, whether they be rise to four hundred, which of course wil such as we may reasonably expect from amount in time to four thousand. Four them what we propose in their fruition, thousand drachmas cannot fail of making and whether they are such as we are pretty eight thousand. As soon as by these means sure of attaining, in case our life extend I am master of ten thousand, I will lay aside itself so far. If we hope for things which my trade of a glassman, and turn jeweller. are at too great a distance from us, it is I shall then deal in diamonds, pearls, and possible that we may be intercepted by all sorts of rich stones. When I have got death in our progress towards them. If we together as much wealth as I well can dehope for things which we have not tho- sire, I will make a purchase of the finest roughly considered the value of, our disap-house I can find, with lands, slaves, cupointment will be greater than our pleasure in the fruition of them. If we hope for what we are not likely to possess, we act and think in vain, and make life a greater dream and shadow than it really is.

nuchs, and horses. I shall then begin to enjoy myself and make a noise in the world. I will not however stop there, but still continue my traffic, until I have got together a hundred thousand drachmas. When I Many of the miseries and misfortunes of have thus made myself master of a hundred life proceed from our want of consideration, thousand drachmas I shall naturally set. in one or all of these particulars. They are myself on the foot of a prince, and will the rocks on which the sanguine tribe of demand the grand vizier's daughter in marlovers daily split, and on which the bank-riage, after having represented to that rupt, the politician, the alchymist, and projector, are cast away in every age. Men of warm imaginations and towering thoughts are apt to overlook the goods of fortune which are near them, for something that glitters in the sight at a distance; to neglect solid and substantial happiness for what is showy and superficial; and to contemn that good which lies within their reach, for that which they are not capable of attaining. Hope calculates its schemes for a long and durable life; presses forward to imaginary points of bliss; grasps at impossibilities; and consequently very often ensnares men into beggary, ruin, and dishonour.

What I have here said may serve as a moral to an Arabian fable, which I find translated into French by Monsieur Galland. The fable has in it such a wild but natural simplicity, that I question not but my reader will be as much pleased with it as I have been, and that he will consider himself, if he reflects on the several amusements of hope which have sometimes passed in his mind, as a near relation to the Persian glassman.

Alnaschar, says the fable, was a very idle

minister the information which I have received of the beauty, wit, discretion, and other high qualities which his daughter possesses. I will let him know at the same time, that it is my intention to make him a present of a thousand pieces of gold on our marriage night. As soon as I have married the grand vizier's daughter, I will buy her ten black eunuchs, the youngest and the best that can be got for money. I most of terwards make my father-in-law a visit, with a great train and equipage. And when I am placed at his right hand, which he will do of course, if it be only to honour his daughter, I will give him the thousand pieces of gold which I promised him; and afterwards to his great surprise, will present him with another purse of the same value, with some short speech; as, “Sir, you see I am a man of my word: I always give more than I promise.”

When I have brought the princess to my house, I shall take particular care to breed her in a due respect for me before I give the reins to love and dalliance. To this end I shall confine her to her own apartment, make her a short visit, and talk

but little to her. Her women will represent to me that she is inconsolable by reason of my unkindness, and beg me with tears to caress her, and let her sit down by me; but I shall still remain inexorable, and will turn my back upon her all the first night. Her mother will then come and bring her daughter to me, as I am seated upon my sofa. The daughter, with tears in her eyes, will fling herself at my feet, and beg of me to receive her into my favour. Then will I, to imprint in her a thorough veneration for my person, draw up my legs and spurn her from me with my foot, in such a manner that she shall fall down several paces from the sofa.'

Alnaschar was entirely swallowed up in this chimerical vision, and could not forbear acting with his foot what he had in his thoughts; so that unluckily striking his basket of brittle ware, which was the foundation of all his grandeur, he kicked his glasses to a great distance from him into the street, and broke them into ten thousand pieces. O.

London, Nov. 1712.

MR. SPECTATOR,-You are always ready to receive any useful hint or proposal, and such, I believe, you will think one that may put you in a way to employ the most idle part of the kingdom: I mean that part of mankind who are known by the name of the women's men, or beaux, &c. Mr. Spectator, you are sensible these pretty gentlemen are not made for any manly employments, and for want of business are often as much in the vapours as the ladies... Now what I propose is this, that since knotting is again in fashion, which has been found a very pretty amusement, that you will recommend it to these gentlemen as something that may make them useful to the ladies they admire. And since it is not inconsistent with any game, or other diversion, for it may be done in the play-house, in their coaches, at the tea-table, and in short, in all places where they come for the sake of the ladies, (except at church; be pleased to forbid it there to prevent mistakes,) it will be easily complied with. It is besides an employment that allows, as we see by the fair-sex, of many graces, which will make the beaux more readily come into it; it shows a white hand and a diamond ring to great advantage; it leaves the eyes at full liberty to be employed as before, as also the thoughts and the tongue. In short, it seems in every respect so proper, that it is needless to urge it farther, by speaking of the satisfaction these male knotters will find, when they see their work mixed up in a fringe, and worn by the fair lady for whom and with whom it was done. Truly, Mr. Spectator, I cannot but be pleased I have hit upon something that these gentlemen are capable of; for it is sad so considerable a part of the kingdom (I mean for numbers,) should be of no manner of use. I shall not trouble you farther at this time, but only to say, that I am always your reader, and generally your admirer.

'P. S. The sooner these fine gentlemen' are set to work the better; there being at this time several fine fringes, that stay only

for more hands.'

As I was the other day standing in my bookseller's shop, a pretty young thing, about eighteen years of age, stepped out of her coach, and, brushing by me, beckoned the man of the shop to the farther end of his counter, where she whispered something to him, with an attentive look, and at the same time presented him with a letter: after which, pressing the end of her fan upon his hand, she delivered the remaining part of her message, and withdrew. I observed, in the midst of her discourse, that she flushed and cast an eye upon me over her shoulder, having been informed by my bookseller that I was the man with the short face whom she had so often read of. Upon her passing by me, the pretty blooming creature smiled in my face, and dropped me a courtesy. She scarce gave me time to return her salute, before she quitted the shop with an easy scuttle, and stepped again into her coach, giving the footmen directions to drive where they were bid. Upon her departure, my bookseller gave me a letter superscribed, To the ingenious Spectator,' which the young lady had desired him to deliver into my own hands, 'MR. SPECTATOR,-Since you have lateand to tell me, that the speedy publication ly, to so good purpose, enlarged upon conof it would not only oblige herself but a jugal love, it is to be hoped you will diswhole tea-table of my friends. I opened it courage every practice that rather proceeds therefore with a resolution to publish it, from a regard to interest than to happiness. whatever it should contain, and am sure Now you cannot but observe, that most of if any of my male readers will be so se- our fine young ladies readily fall in with verely critical as not to like it, they would the direction of the graver sort, to retain have been as well pleased with it as myself, in their service, by some small encouragehad they seen the face of the pretty scribe.ment, as great a number as they can of

I shall in the next place present my reader with the description of a set of men who are common enough in the world, though I do not remember that I have yet taken notice of them, as they are drawn in the following letter.

It is for the like reason, I imagine, that you have in some of your speculations asserted to your readers the dignity of human nature. But you cannot be insensible that this is a controverted doctrine; there are authors who consider human nature in a very different view, and books of maxims have been written to show the falsity of a human virtues. The reflections which are made on this subject usually take some tincture from the tempers and characters of those that make them. Politicians can resolve the most shining actions among men into artifice and design; others, who are soured by discontent, repulses, or ill-usage, are apt to mistake their spleen for philosophy; men of profligate lives, and such as find themselves incapable of rising to any distinction among their fellow-creatures, are for pulling down all appearances of merit which seem to upbraid them; and satirists describe nothing but deformity, From all these hands we have such draughts of mankind, as are represented in those burlesque pictures which the Italians call caricaturas; where the art consists in preserving, amidst distorted proportions and aggravated features, some likeness of the person, but in such a manner as to transform the most agrecable beauty into the most odious monster.

supernumerary and insignificant fellows, |pectations they were born: that by comwhich they use like whifflers, and com-sidering what is worthy of them, they may monly call "shoeing-horns."-These are be withdrawn from mean pursuits, and enever designed to know the length of the couraged to laudable undertakings. This foot, but only, when a good offer comes, to is turning nobility into a principle of virtue, whet and spur him up to the point. Nay, and making it productive of merit, as it is it is the opinion of that grave lady, madam understood to have been originally a reward Matchwell, that it is absolutely convenient of it. for every prudent family to have several of these implements about the house to clap on as occasion serves; and that every spark ought to produce a certificate of his being a shoeing-horn before he be admitted as a shoe. A certain lady whom I could name, if it was necessary, has at present more shoeing-horns of all sizes, countries, and colours in her service, than ever she had new shoes in her life. I have known a woman make use of a shoeing-horn for several years, and finding him unsuccessful in that function, convert him at length into a shoe. I am mistaken if your friend, Mr. William Honeycomb, was not a cast shoeing-horn before his late marriage. As for myself, I must frankly declare to you, that I have been an errant shoeing-horn for above these twenty years. I served my first mistress in that capacity above five of the number, before she was shod. I confess, though she had many who made their application to her, I always thought myself the best shoe in her shop; and it was not until a month before her marriage that I discovered what I was. This had like to have broke my heart, and raised such suspicions in me, that I told the next I made love to, upon receiving some unkind usage from her, that I began to look upon myself as no more than her shoeing-horn. Upon which, my dear, who was a coquette in her nature, told me I was hypochondriacal, and I might as well look upon myself to be an egg, or a pipkin. But in a very short time after she gave me to know that I was not mistaken in myself. It would be tedious to you to recount the life of an unfortunate shoeing-horn, or I might entertain you with a very long and melancholy relation of my sufferings. Upon the It is true indeed, that there are surpris whole, I think, sir, it would very well be-ing mixtures of beauty and deformity, of come a man in your post, to determine in what cases a woman may be allowed with honour to make use of a shoeing-horn, as also to declare whether a maid on this side five-and-twenty, or a widow, who has not been three years in that state, may be granted such a privilege, with other difficulties which will naturally occur to you upon that subject. I am, sir, with the most profound veneration, yours, &c.'

O.

It is very disingenuous to level the best of mankind with the worst, and for the faults of particulars to degrade the whole species. Such methods tend not only to remove a man's good opinion of others, but to destroy that reverence for himself, which is a great guard of innocence, and a spring of virtue.

wisdom and folly, virtue and vice, in the human make: such a disparity is wed among numbers of the same kind; and every individual in some instances, or at some times, is so unequal to himself, that man seems to be the most wavering and inconsistent being in the whole creation. So that the question in morality concerning the dignity of our nature may at first sight appear like some difficult questions in nataral philosophy, in which the arguments on both sides seem to be of equal strength

No. 537.] Saturday, November 15, 1712. But, as I began with considering this point

*SIR,—It has been usual to remind per

sons of rank, on great occasions in life, of

as it relates to action, I shall here borrow an admirable reflection from monsiest Paschal, which I think sets it in its proper light.

This is an allusion to the Reflections et Marines

their race and quality, and to what ex-Morales de M. le Duc de la Rochefoucaul