passage money (of 6d. each, for the best cabin), if there was not some danger of being blown up. The latter promptly replied, "No, sir, not the least; we cannot afford to blow up people at these low prices."

Jacobitism.

Lord Peterborough, about the time of the revolution of 1688, was anxious to obtain a fine singing canary from a coffee-house keeper in London, his mistress having taken a fancy for it. Finding the people obstinately bent against selling it, he at last contrived to steal it, leaving a female one in its place. Some two years after, he ventured to say to the good woman of the house, that he supposed she would now take the money he formerly offered for the bird. 66 Indeed, sir," answered she, "I would not; nor would I take any sum for him; for,-would you believe it?-from the time that our good king was forced to go abroad and leave us, the dear creature has not sung a note!"

A Terrible Thing Out-Terribled.

A dull play-wright, about to read one of his compositions in the green-room at Drury Lane, observed, that he knew nothing so terrible as reading a piece before such a critical audience. "I know one thing more terrible," said Mrs. Powell. "What can that be?" asked the author. "To be obliged to sit and hear it."

Wreckers.

The people at a certain part of the coast of Cornwall, where wrecks frequently happen, used to be so

demoralized by the unrestrained plunder of the unfortunate vessels, that they lost almost every humane feeling. It is said, that even the clergy sunk under the dominion of this species of selfishness, and were almost as bad as the people. One Sunday, the news of a wreck was promulgated to a congregation engaged in public worship; and in an instant all were eagerly hurrying out at the door, to set off towards the spot. The clergyman hereupon called, in a most emphatic voice, that he only desired to say five more words to them. They turned with impatient attention to hear him. He approached as if to address them; when, having got to the front of the throng, "Now," says he, "let us start fair!" and off he ran, all the rest following him, towards the place where the wreck had happened, which, it is believed, he was the first to reach.

Moderation.

The most confirmed drunkard we ever knew, was an old man in the land of pumpkins,' who possessed the greatest possible abhorrence for anti-temperance. Having drunk nine mugs of cider at a neighbour's house, one evening, he concluded to leave off a pure denial by taking another." I believe, neighbour T.," says old Guzzlefunction, "that I'll take another glass of your cider. I love good cider as well as any body, but as for swilling it down as some people do, I never could."

Sir Isaac Newton.

All the world has heard of Sir Isaac roasting himself before a great fire, till informed of the pos sibility of escaping the fate he apprehended, by pushing back his chair. The story of his employing

the finger of a lady whom he was courting, as a tobacco-stopper, is equally well known. Not so that which follows:-Dr. Stukely, one day, visiting Sir Isaac by appointment, was told by a servant that the philosopher was in his study. No one was permitted to disturb him there; but as it was near dinner time, the visitor sat down to wait for him. After a time, dinner was brought in-a boiledchicken under a cover. An hour passed, and Sir Isaac did not appear. The doctor ate the fowl, and, covering up the empty dish, bade the servant dress another for her master. Before that was ready, the great man came down; he apologized for his delay, and added, "Give me but leave to take my short dinner, and I shall be at your service; I am fatigued and faint." Saying this, he lifted the cover, and, without any emotion, turned about to Stukely with a smile: "See," says he, "what we studious people are; I forgot I had dined."

Indirect Answer.

A person employed by a sick gentleman to read to him, very soon evinced a great aptitude to stumble, whenever he came to any word not belonging to his mother tongue. Tired with this, at length, the sick man asked him if he really pretended to know any other language than his own. "Why, really, sir," answered the unfortunate reader, "I cannot exactly say I do; but I have a brother who is perfectly acquainted with French."

John Bunyan.

What are now denominated formerly called Christmas pies. yan, author of the Pilgrim's

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mince pies were When John BunProgress, was in

Shrewsbury jail for preaching and praying, a gentleman who knew his abhorrence for any thing popish and wished to play upon his peculiarity, one 25th of December sent his servant to the poor Puritan, and desired his acceptance of a large Christmas pie. John took little time to consider; but, seizing the pasty, desired the messenger to thank his master, and "Tell him," added he, " I have lived long enough, and am now hungry enough, to know the difference between Christmas and pie."

Preventive of Jealousy.

A beautiful young lady having called out an ugly gentleman to dance with her, he was astonished at the condescension; and believing that she was in love with him, in a very pressing manner desired to know why she had selected him from the rest of the company. "Because, sir," replied the lady, my husband commanded me to select such a partner as should not give him cause for jealousy."

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Paying Toll.

A tar, with two wooden legs, passed over Humpton-bridge the other day, and paid the usual halfpenny. Thence he stumped to a neighbouring public house, and asked for a half pint of beer, saying he would have had a pint but for paying the toll. "Lord love you," rejoined Boniface, "you had no right to pay, you are no foot passenger, for you have no feet." "No more I an't," exclaimed Jack, "and shiver my timbers if I don't have it back." With this determination he repaired to the toll keeper, laid down the ground of exemption, which was allowed, and Jack rejoiced over a full pint.

Happiness.

A captain in the navy, meeting a friend as he landed at Portsmouth Point, boasted that he had left his whole ship's company the happiest fellows in the world. "How so?" asked his friend. "Why, I have just flogged seventeen, and they are happy it is over; and all the rest are happy that they have escaped."

An Expedient.

The following anecdote is related of Sir Robert Walpole: Being afraid, on one occasion, that the bishops would vote against him in a question before the house of lords, he induced the Archbishop of Canterbury to stay at home for two or three days, and circulated a report that his grace was dangerously ill. On the day of meeting, the house was crowded with lawn-sleeves, not one of which voted against the court!

The Broom-Seller.

A

Bacon was wont to commend much the saying of an old man at Buxton, who sold brooms. young spendthrift came to him for a broom upon trust, to whom the old man said,-" Friend, hast thou no money? borrow of thy back and of thy belly; they'll never ask thee for it: I shall be dunning thee every day."

Wit on a Death-bed.

Swift's Stella, in her last illness, being visited by her physician, he said, "Madam, I hope we shall soon get you up the hill again." "Ah," said she,

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