moved, faintly raising his head, and with the muf fled tongue of a votary of Bacchus, exclaimed, " I have an objection to one of the jury.”

An Outline.

When the Duke de Choiseul, who was a remarkably meagre-looking man, came to London for the purpose of negotiating a peace, Charles Townsend, being asked whether the French government had sent the preliminaries of a treaty, answered, "He did not know, but they had sent the outline of an ambassador."

Dr. Bentley.

When the great Bentley, afterwards so distinguished, was examined for deacon's orders, he expected that the bishop would himself examine him ; and his displeasure at what he considered neglect he vented in such answers as the following :

This is said to have been enough to satisfy the chaplain, who took the rhymer to the bishop.

Striking Likeness.

Some years ago, a then itinerant portrait-painter, whose reputation has since risen much above the point it at that time occupied, being employed to delineate the features of a musician of some eminence, who had taken up his temporary quarters at 2 watering-place, the son of harmony was dissatis

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fied with the resemblance, and expressed his disay probation rather strongly. "Whom is that like, my dear?" asked the mortified artist of a fine little boy, the eldest hope of his employer. 'Papa!" said the child. "So it is, my darling-You see, sir, your son is a better judge of a likeness than yourself. And where is it like papa, my dear?" "It's very

It is

like papa about the fiddle!" was the answer. unnecessary to add, that no more questions were asked of the juvenile connoisseur.

Lord Bolingbroke.

The famous Lord Bolingbroke, being at Aix-lachapelle, during the treaty of peace at that place, (at which time his attainder was taken off,) was asked by an impertinent Frenchman, whether he came there in any public character. "No, sir,” replied his lordship, "I come like a French minister, with no character at all."

Lightning and Lotteries.

A few years since a respectable young man in Portland, among the thousands and thousands who had drawn blanks, blanks, blanks, drew a prize of five hundred dollars. His friends, we have no doubt, trembled for the consequences, lest it should lead him to dabble in lotteries till he was ruined. We were pleased, however, the other day, .to hear him remark that on drawing the prize, he immediately came to the resolution never to purchase another ticket! and the reason which he gave pleased us still more. "He had heard folks say, that lightning was never known to strike twice in one place,”

What's in a Name."

On it being reported, in a party of ladies, that a Captain Silk had arrived in town, they exclaimed, with one exception, "What a name for a soldier!" "The fittest name in the world," rejoined a witty female; "for silk never can be worsted!"

Great Encouragement.

A gentleman about to join his regiment, stationed in the West Indies, was making some anxious inquiries of a brother officer, who had returned, after serving several years in that climate, concerning the best means of preserving health; to which the other replied, "During our passage out, many serious dis cussions took place about the mode of living best calculated to preserve health in a climate, with the fatal effects of which on European constitutions, every one is so well acquainted. Some determined to be temperate, and drink nothing but water; others, not deviating from their usual manner of living. Not to interrupt each other's plans, we agreed to separate into two distinct messes, which, from their different modes of living, very soon obtained the distinctive appellations of the sober and the drunken club." "Well," said the other gentleman, with some anxiety," and what was the result?" "Why, truly, not very satisfactory: we buried all the members of the sober club in the course of a few months, and I am the only survivor of the drunken."

New Reading in Horace.

Sir Robert Walpole, at the close of his administration, was sitting one evening with some intimate friends, to whom he was complaining of the vanities

and vexations of office, adding, from the second epistle of the second book of Horace,

'Lusisti satis, edisti, atque hibisti;
Tempus abire tibi est.'

"Pray, Sir Robert," says one of his friends, " is that good Latin ?" "Why, I think so what objections have you to it?" "Why," says the other drily, “I did not know but that the word might be bribe-isti in YOUR HORACE."

Punning Competition.

George IV., when Prince of Wales, and Charles Fox, one day enjoying a ride in the neighbourhood of Brighton, laid bets which of them should make the worst pun on the first subjects they met. Immediately after, meeting a man carrying a dead hare over his shoulder, Fox (who was to make the first essay of his wit) accosted him thus: "Friend, is that your own hare or a wig?" Riding a little farther on, they came up with two men, one of whom held a snuff-box in his hand. "So, friend," said the prince, "I see you are a snuffer." " sir," replied the man. "And are you a snuffer also?" says he to the other man. "I am, please your honour. "Well, then, you are a pair of snuffers." Fox gained the bet.

Almanacs.

Yes,

On

A simple countryman lately went into a shop in Mansfield, Notts, to look at some almanacs. : being told the price, he exclaimed, “They're very dear!" "Yes," was the reply, "and they'll be dearer too, next year." This so staggered poor Johnny, that he exclaimed, "I'll have three before they do rise!" And, sans ceremonie, that number ne actually purchased and paid for!

Naval Pun.

A gentleman inquiring of a naval officer why sailors generally take off their shirts on going into action, was answered, that "they were unwilling to have any check to fighting."

False Report.

A gentleman meeting an old friend, whom he had not seen for a long time, congratulated him on lately coming to the possession of a large landed estate. There was such a report," replied the other; " but, if you will believe me, it was quite groundless."

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Diverting Vagabond.

Mossop, the player, always spoke in heroics. A cobbler in Dublin, who once brought home his boots, refused to leave them without the money. Mossop came in whilst he was disputing, and, looking sternly, exclaimed, "Tell me, are you the noted cobbler I have often heard of?" "Yes," says the fellow, "and I think you the diverting vagabond I have often seen."

Pluralities.

When George I. landed at Greenwich, the inhabitants, after discussing the subject, of what was the highest honour they could confer upon the newly arrived sovereign, determined upon electing him: churchwarden, which was accordingly done. A dispute, however, afterwards took place in the vestry, as to whether he who was elected to serve the office of king, could serve the office of churchwarden at the same time.