every one present will see that I have sufficient rea. son for requiring satisfaction." "Satisfaction!pooh! pooh! for what? for a mere difference of opinion? Nonsense!" exclaimed several of the par ty. "I beg your pardon, gentlemen, no difference of opinion at all: he has given me the lie; and Cornalius O'Flanagan's own father's son won't take the lie from man or mortal, even, as I said before, if it was true. Do ye know the way we begin fighting in Tipperary? I'll tell ye, if ye don't: Paddy chalks his hat, d'ye see, all round the rim of it, and down he throws it on the green turf. I should like any body to tell me now,' says he, 'that this isn't silvur laice. So, then, away they go to it with the shilelagh ;--you understand me, sir, that is our way. An Irishman's honour is dearer to him than his life; and even when in the wrong, he'd sooner die than have a lie thrown in his teeth. So now, gentlemen, I'll bid ye all a good night; and as for you, sir, there is my card, which I shall be happy to exchange for yours." The Englishman, of course, gave his address, and the next day the parties met, attended by their seconds. They fired, and O'Flanagan's shot took effect in the fleshy part of his opponent's thigh, which made the latter jump about a foot from the ground, and fall flat upon his back, where he lay for a few seconds in agony, kicking his heels. This being observed by the Irishman's second, he said, "You have hit your man, O'Flanagan, that is certain: I think not dangerously, however; for see what capers he cuts." "Capers! Capers!" exclaimed the Irishman. "Och! the heavenly powers! What have I done? What a dreadful mistake!" And running up to his wounded antagonist, he took his hand, and pressing it eagerly, thus addressed him: "My dear friend! if ye're kilt, I ax

yer pardon in this world and the next; for I made a mistake; it was capers that I saw growing upon the trees at Malta, and not anchovies at all!" The wounded man, smiling at this ludicrous explanation and apology, said, " My good fellow, I wish you had thought of that a little sooner. I don't think you have quite killed me, but I hope you will remember the difference between anchovies and capers as long as you live."

Anti-Climax.

Mr. the Professor of Chemistry in the University of Dublin, who was more remarkable for the clearness of his intellect than the purity of his eloquence, adverted in one of his lectures to the celebrated Dr. Boyle, of whose talents he spoke with the highest veneration: he thus concluded his eulogy :-"He was a great man; he was the father of chemistry, gentlemen, and brother of the Earl of Cork."

Titles.

Several years ago there was a young English nobleman figuring away at Washington. He had not much brains, but a vast number of titles, which, notwithstanding our pretended dislike to them, have sometimes the effect of tickling the ear amazingly. Several young ladies were in debate, going over the list-he is Lord Viscount so and so, Baron of such a county, &c. "My fair friends," exclaimed the gallant Lieut. N. "one of his titles you appear to have forgotten." Ah," exclaimed they eagerly, "what is that?" "He is Barren of Intellect," was the reply.

Mr. Fox's Estimate of the French Character.

In one of the latter days of Fox, the conversation turned on the comparative wisdom of the French and English character. The Frenchman," it was observed, "delights himself with the present; the Englishman makes himself anxious about the future. Is not the Frenchman the wiser ?" "He may be the merrier," said Fox; "but did you ever hear of a savage who did not buy a mirror in preference ⚫ to a telescope?"

Upright Judge.

Judge Richardson, in going the western Circuit, had a great stone thrown at him, which, as he happened to stoop at the moment, passed clear over his head. "You see," he said to his friends who congratulated him on his escape, "you sce, if I had been an upright judge, I had been slain."

Kites.

Boys fly kites for recreation, and men for other motives; the first require the wind to raise the kite, the second the kite to raise the wind.

"Do you Smoke, Sir ?”

"Do you smoke, sir?" said a London sharper to a country gentleman, whom he met with in a coffeehouse, and with whom he wished to scrape acquaintance. Yes," said the other, with a cool steady eye, "any one who has a design upon me."

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Dr. Franklin on Confederation.

The confederation of the states, while on the carpet before the old congress, was strenuously opposed by the smaller states, under the apprehension that they would be swallowed up by the larger ones. They were long engaged in the discussion; it produced great heats, much ill-humour and intemperate declarations from some members. Dr. Franklin at length brought the debate to a close with one of his little apologues. He observed that "at the time of the union of England and Scotland, the Duke of Argyle was most violently opposed to that measure, and among other things predicted, that as the whale had swallowed Jonah, so Scotland would be swallowed by England. However (said the doctor), when Lord Bute came into the government, he soon brought into its administration so many of his countrymen, that it was found in the event that Jonah swallowed the whale." This little story produced a general laugh, restored good-humour, and the article of difficulty was passed.

Promising Candidate.

A young clergyman, who possessed every requisite for the pulpit but a good voice, having occasion to preach a probation sermon for a lectureship, a friend congratulated him, as he descended from the pulpit, observing, that "he would certainly carry the election: he had nobody's voice against him but his own."

A Friend in Need.

A person, being arrested for a large sum of money, sent to an acquaintance, who had often pro

fessed a great friendship for him, to beg he would bail him. The other sent back a note, to the effect that he had promised never to be bail for any body. "I will tell you, however, what you may do," added he; "you may get somebody else, if you can."

Singular Stakes.

A lady, who loved gaming very much, and who, at the same time, was very covetous, falling sick in the country, in a village where her estate lay, sent for the curate, and proposed play to him. The curate, being also fond of gaming, accepted the proposition with joy. They played, and the curate lost. After having won all his money, she proposed to him to play for the parson's fees at her burial, in case she died. They played; and he lost. She obliged him to give a note for the sum at which interments then stood; and dying eight or ten days after, the curate withdrew his note by the interment.

Precedency.

Two little girls of the city of Norwich, one the daughter of a wealthy brewer, the other the daughter of a gentleman of a small fortune, disputing for precedency," You are to consider, miss," said the brewer's daughter, "that my papa keeps a coach." "Very true, miss," said the other, "and you are to consider that he likewise keeps a dray."

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Three ladies meeting at a visit, a grocer's wife, a cheese-monger's, and a tobacconist's, who perhaps stood more upon the punctilios of precedence than some of their betters would have done at the courtend of the town; when they had risen up, and taken their leave, the cheese-nonger's wife was going out