take me solemn oath that, so long as I live, under no provocation whatever, will I blow out a candil agin.'

CHARGE TO THE JURY.

A JUDGE of one of the inferior courts of Illinois, in a "certain suit before his court pending," instructed the jury in the " case" as follows:

"If the jury believe, from the evidence, that the plaintiff and the defendant were partners in the grocery, and that plaintiff bought out the defendant, and gave him his note for the interest, and the defendant paid the note by delivering to the plaintiff a cow which he warranted 'not breachy,' and the warranty was broken by reason of the breachiness of the cow, and the plaintiff drove the cow back and tendered her to defendant, but the defendant refused to receive her, and the plaintiff took her home again, and put a heavy yoke or poke upon her to prevent her from jumping the fences, and the cow, in undertaking to jump a fence, by reason of the poke or yoke, broke her neck and died; and, if the jury further believe that the defendant's interest in the grocery was not worth any thing, and the defendant's note was worthless, and the cow good for nothing, either for milk or beef, or for 'green hide,' then the jury must find out for themselves how they will decide the case, for the Court, if she understands herself, and she thinks she do,' don't know how such a case should be decided."

CCVIII. CURING A COLD.

THE first time that I began to sneeze, a friend told me to bathe my feet in hot water and go to bed; I did so. Shortly after, a friend told me to get up and take a cold shower-bath; I did that also. Within an hour another friend told me it was policy to feed a cold and starve a

fever. I had both, so I thought it best to fill up for the cold, and let the fever starve awhile. In a case of this kind I seldom do things by halves; I ate pretty heartily. I conferred my custom upon a stranger who had just opened a restaurant on Cortland Street that morning, paying him so much for a full meal. He waited near me in respectful silence until I had finished feeding my cold, when he inquired whether people about the town were much afflicted with colds. I told him they were. He then went out and took in his sign.

I started up toward the office, and on the walk encountered another bosom friend, who told me that a quart of warm salt-water would come as near curing a cold as any thing in the world. I hardly thought I had room for it, but I tried it anyhow. The result was surprising. Now, as I give my experience only for the benefit of those who are troubled with this distemper, I feel that they will see the propriety of my cautioning them against following such portions of it as proved inefficient with me; and, acting upon this conviction, I warn them against warm salt-water. It may be a good enough remedy, but I think it is rather too severe. If I had another cold in the head, and there was no course left me but to take either an earthquake or a quart of warm salt-water, I would take my chances on the earthquake.

After this, every body in the hotel became interested; and I took all sorts of remedies,-hot lemonade, cold lemonade, pepper-tea, boneset, stewed Quaker, hoarhound sirup, onions and loaf-sugar, lemons and brown sugar, vinegar and laudanum, five bottles of fir balsam, eight bottles of cherry pectoral, and ten bottles of Uncle Sam's remedy. One of the prescriptions given by an old lady was-well, it was dreadful. She mixed a decoction composed of molasses, catnip, peppermint, aquafortis, turpentine, kerosene, and various other drugs, and instructed me to take a wineglassful of it every fifteen minutes. I never took but one

K. N. E.-40.

dose, that was enough. I had to take to my bed, and re

When I felt a little better,
I was desperate, and willing

main there for two entire days. more things were recommended. to take any thing. Plain gin was recommended, then gin and molasses, then gin and onions. I took all three. I detected no particular result, however, except that I had acquired a Samsonian breath, and had to change my boarding place.

I had never refused a remedy yet, and it seemed poor policy to commence then; therefore I determined to take a sheet-bath, though I had no idea what sort of an arrangement it was. It was administered at midnight, and the weather was very frosty. My back and breast were stripped; and a sheet (there appeared to be about a thousand yards of it) soaked in ice-water was wound around me until I resembled a swab for a columbiad. It is a cruel expedient. When the chilly rag touches one's warm flesh, it makes him start with a sudden violence, and gasp for breath, just as men do in the death agony. It froze the marrow in my bones, and stopped the beating of my heart. I thought my time had come.

When I recovered from this, a friend ordered the application of a mustard-plaster to my breast. I believe that would have cured me effectually, if it had not been for young Clemens. When I went to bed, I put the mustard-plaster where I could reach it when I should be ready for it; but young Clemens got hungry in the night, and ate it up. I never saw any child have such an appetite. I am confident that he would have eaten me if I had been healthy.

MISCELLANEOUS.

CCIX.-USE PLAIN LANGUAGE.

WHAT do you say? What? I really do not understand you. Be so good as to explain yourself again. Upon my word, I do not! Oh! now I know: you mean to tell me it is a cold day. Why did you not say at once, "It is a cold day?" If you wish to inform me that it rains or snows, pray say "It rains," "It snows;" or, if you think I look well, and choose to compliment me, say, "I think you look well." But you answer, "That is so common and so plain, and what every body can say." Well, and what if every body can? Is it so great a misfortune to be understood when one speaks, and to speak like the rest of the world? I will tell you what, my friend, you do not suspect it, and I shall astonish you, but you and those like you want common sense! Nay, this is not all; it is not only in the direction of your wants that you are in fault, but of your superfluities; you have too much conceit; you possess an opinion that you have more sense than others.. That is the source of all your pompous nothings, your cloudy sentences, and your big words without a meaning. Before you accost a person, or enter a room, let me pull you by the sleeve and whisper in your ear: "Do not try to show off your sense; have none at all; that is your cue. Use plain language if you can, just such as you find others use, who, in your opinion, have no understanding; and then you, perhaps, will get credit for having some."

CCX.-MORAL COURAGE.

HAVE the courage to face a difficulty, let it kick you harder than you bargained for. Difficulties, like thieves, often disappear at a glance. Have the courage to leave a convivial party at the proper hour for doing so, however great the sacrifice; and to stay away from one upon the slightest grounds for objection, however great the temptations to go. Have the courage to do without that which you do not need, however much you may admire it. Have the courage to speak your mind when it is necessary that you should do so, and hold your tongue when it is better you should be silent. Have the courage to speak to a poor friend in a seedy coat, even in the street, and when a rich one is nigh. The effort is less than many people take it to be, and the act is worthy of a king. Have the courage to admit that you have been in the wrong, and you will remove the fact from the minds of others, putting a desirable impression in the place of an unfavorable one. Have the courage to adhere to the first resolution when you can not change it for the better, and to abandon it at the eleventh hour upon conviction. Have the courage to cut the most agreeable acquaintance you possess, when he convinces you that he lacks principle. "A friend should bear with a friend's infirmities"--not vices.

KIND WORDS.

As the breath of the dew to the tender plant, they gently fall upon the drooping heart, refreshing its withered tendrils, and smoothing its burning woes. Bright oases they are, in life's great desert. Who can estimate the pangs they have alleviated, or the good works they have accomplished?

Long after they are uttered, they reverberate in the soul's inner chamber, and low, sweet, liquid strains, that quell all the raging storms that may have before existed. And, oh! when the heart is sad, and like a broken harp,