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A dog proficient in the trade !

True those are faults, the Peacock cries; He the chief Aatt'rer nature made !

My scream, my shanks, you may despise : Go, Man, the ways of courts discern,

But such blind critics rail in vain : You'll find a spaniel still might learn. What! overlook my radiant train ! How can the Fox's theft and plunder

Know, did my legs (your scorn and sport) Provoke his censure or his wonder?

The Turkey or the Goose support, From courtier tricks, and lawyer's arts, And did ye scream with harsher sound, The fox might well improve his parts.

Those faults in you had ne'er been found ! The lion, wolf, and tiger's brood,

To all apparent beauties blind, He curses for their thirst of blood :

Each blemish strikes an envious mind. But is not man to man a prey?

Thus in assemblies have I seen Beasts kill for hunger, men for pay.

A nymph of brightest charms and mien, The Bookseller, who heard him speak, Wake

envy in each ugly face; And saw him turn a page of Greek,

And buzzing scandal bills the place. Thought, what a genius have I found? Then thus address'd with bow profound :- § 89. PABLE xii. Cupid, Hymen, and Plutus.

Learn’d Sir, if you'd employ your pen As Cupid in Cythera's grove Against the senseless sons of men,

Employ'd the lesser pow'rs of love ; Or write the history of Siam,

Some shape the bow, or fit the string; No man is better pay than I am;

Some give the taper shaft its wing, Or, since your learn'd in Greek, let's see Or turn the polish'd quiver’s mould, Something against the Trinity.

Or head the darts with temper'd gold. When, wrinkling with a sheer his trunk, Amidst their toil and various care, Friend, quoth the Elephant, you're drunk; Thus Hymen, with assuming air, E'en keep your money, and be wise ;

Address'd the god :-Thou purblind chit, Leave man on man to criticise :

Of awkward and ill-judging wit, For that you ne'er can want a pen

If matches are not better made, Among the senseless sons of men.

At once I must forswear my trade. They unprovok'd will court the fray;

You send me such ill-coupled folks, Envy's a sharper spur than pay.

That 'tis a shame to sell them yokes ; No author ever spar'd a brother;

They squabble for a pin, a feather, Wits are game-cocks to one another.

And wonder how they came together.

The husband's sullen, dogged, shy; § 88. FABLE XI. The Peacock, the Turkey, He loves command and due restriction,

The wife grows Aippant in reply; and the Goose.

And she as well likes contradiction : In beauty faults conspicuous grow;

She never slavishly submits ; The smallest speck is seen on snow.

She'll have her will, or have her fits : As near a barn, by hunger led,

He this way tugs, she t'other draws; A Peacock with the poultry fed ;

The man grows jealous, and with cause : All view'd him with an envious eye,

Nothing can save him but divorce : And mock'd his gaudy pageantry.

And here the wife complies of course. He, conscious of superior merit,

When, says the boy, had I to do Contemns their base reviling spirit;

With either your affairs or you? His state and dignity assumes,

I never idly spent my darts; And to the sun displays his plumes;

You trade in mercenary hearts. Which, like the heav'ns o'er-arching skies, For settlements the lawyer's fee'd; Are spangled with a thousand eyes :

Is my hand witness to the deed ? The circling rays, and varied light,

If they like cat and dog agree, At once confound their dazzled sight: Go rail at Plutus, not at me. On ev'ry tongue detraction burns,

Plutus appear'd, and said "Tis true, And malice prompts their spleen by turns. In marriage gold is all their view;

Mark with what insolence and pride They seek no beauty, wit, or sense ; The creature takes his haughty stride,

And love is seldom the pretence. The Turkey cries. Can spleen contain? All offer incense at my shrine, Sure never bird was half só vain !

And I alone the bargain sign. But, were intrinsic merit seen,

How can Belinda blame her fate? We Turkeys have the whiter skin.

She only ask'd a great estate. From tongue to tongue they caught abuse ; Doris was rich enough, 'tis true; And next was heard the hissing Goose :- Her lord must give her title too : What hideous legs! what filthy claws ! And ev'ry man, or rich or poor, I scorn to censure little flaws.

A fortune asks, and asks no more. Then what a horrid squalling throat !

Av’rice, whatever shape it bears, Ev'n owls are frighted at the note.

Must still be coupled with its cares..

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§ go. PABLE XIII. The Tame Stag. The hairy sylvanis round himi press, As a young Stag the thicket passid,

Astonish'd at his strut and dress. The branches held his antlers fast;

Some praise his sleeve; and others glote A clown, who saw the captive hung,

Upon his rich embroider'd coat; Across the horns his halter Aung.

His dapper perriwig commending, Now safely hamper'd in the cord,

With the black tail behind depending:
He bore the present to his lord.

His powder'd back, above, below,
His lord was pleas'd; as was the clown, Like hoary frost or fleecy snow;
When he was tipp'd with half-a-crown. But all with envy and desire
The stag was brought before his wife ! His flutt'ring shoulder-knot admire.
The tender lady begg'd his life.

Hear and improve he pertly cries;
How sleek the skin! how speck'd like ermine !

I come to make a nation wise. Sure never creature was so charming!

Weigh your own worth, support your place, At first, within the yard confin'd,

The next in rank to human race. He Alies, and hides from all mankind;

In cities long, I pass'd my days,, Now, bolder grown, with fix'd amaze,

Convers’d with inen, and learn'd their ways. And distant awe, presumes to gaze :

Their dress, their courtly manners see; Munches the linen on the lines,

Reform your state, and copy me. And on a hood or apron dines;



to thrive?-in flatt'ry deal; He steals my little master's bread,

Your scorn, your hate, with that conceal. Follows the servants to be fed :

Seem only to regard your friends, Nearer and nearer now he stands,

But use them for your private ends. To feel the praise of patting hands;

Stint not to truth the flow of wit; Examines ev'ry fist for meat,

Be prompt to lie whene'er 'tis fit: And, though repuls'd, disdains retreat ; Bend all your force to spatter merit; Attacks again with levellid horns,

Scandal is conversation's spirit.
And man, that was his terror, scorns.

Boldly to ev'ry thing attend,
Such is the country maiden's fright, And men your talents shall commend.
When first a red-coat is in sight;

I knew the great. Observe me right;
Behind the door she hides her face;

So shall you grow like man polite. Next time at distance eyes the lace;

He spoke, and bow'd. With mutt'ring jaws She now can all his terrors stand,

The wond’ring circle grinn'd applause. Nor from his squeeze withdraws her hand. Now, warm with malice, envy, spite, She plays familiar in his arms,

Their most obliging friends they bite; And ev'ry soldier hath his charms,

And, fond to copy,


ways, From tent to tent she spreads her flame; Practice new mischiefs all their days. For custom conquers fear and shame.

Thus the dull Lad, too tall for school,

With travel finishes the fool; § 91. FABLE XIV. The Monkey who had Studious of ev'ry coxcomb's airs, seen the World.

He drinks, games, dresses, whores, and swears; A MONKEY, to reform the times,

O'erlooks with scorn all virtuous arts ;
Resolved to visit foreign climes :

For vice is fitted to his parts.
For men in distant regions roam
To bring politer manners home.

Ś 92.

The Philosopher and So forih he fares, all toil defies;

the Pheasants. Misfortune serves to make us wise. At length the treach'rous snare was laid;

The Sage, awak'd at early day, Poor Pug was caught, to town convey'd,

Through the deep forest took his way; There sold. How envied was his doom,

Drawn by the music of the groves, Made captive in a lady's room!

Along the winding gloom he roves : Proud as a lover of his chains,

From tree to tree the warbling throats He day by day her favor gains.

Prolong the sweet alternate notes. Whene'er the duty of the day

But where he pass'd he terror threw;

The The toilet calls, with mimic play

song broke short, the warblers flew; He twirls her knots, he cracks her fan,

The thrushes chatter'd with affright, Like any other gentleman.

And nightingales abhorr'd his sight;

All animals before him ran,
In visits too his parts and wit,
When jests grew dull, were sure to hit.

To shun the hateful sight of man.
Proud with applause, he thought his mind Whence is this dread of ev'ry creature ?
In ev'ry courtly art refind;

Fly they our figure, or our nature? Like Orpheus burnt with public zeal,

As thus he walk'd in musing thought,

His To civilize the Monkey weal:

ear imperfect accents taught; So watch'd occasion, broke his chain,

With cautious steps he nearer drew : And sought his native woods again.

By the thick shade conceal'd from view,

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High on the branch a Pheasant stood;

Friend, says the Needle, cease to blame ; Around her all her list'ning brood;

I follow real worth and fame. Proud of the blessings of her nest,

Know'st thou the loadstone's pow'r and art, She thus a mother's care express'd :

That virtue virtues can impart? No dangers here shall circumvent;

Of all his talents I partake; Within the woods enjoy content.

How can I such a friend forsake ! Sooner the hawk or vulture trust

'Tis I direct the pilot's hand Than Man, of animals the worst;

To shun the rocks and treach'rous sand; In hiin ingratitude you find;

By me the distant world is known,
A vice peculiar to the kind.

And either India is our own.
The sheep, whose annual fleece is dyed Had I with milliners been bred,
To guard his health, and serve his pride, What had I been? the guide of thread,
Forc'd from his fold and native plain,

And drudg'd as vulgar needles do,
Is in the cruel shanıbles slain.

Of no more consequence


you. The swarms who, with industrious skill, His hives with wax and honey fill;

$ 94.

The Shepherd's Dog In vain whole summer days employ'd,

and the Wolf. Their stores are sold, their race destroy’d. A WOLF, with hunger fierce and bold, What tribute from the goose is paid !

Ravag'd the plains, and thinn'd the fold; Does not her wing all science aid ?

Deep in the wood secure he lay; Does it not lovers' hearts explain,

The thefts of night regal'd the day. And drudge to raise the merchant's gain? In vain the shepherd's wakeful care What now rewards this gen'ral use ?

Had spread the toils, and watch'd the snare ; He takes the quills, and eats the goose.

In vain the Dog pursued his pace, Man then avoid, detest his ways;

The feeter robber mock'd the chace. So safety shall prolong your days.

As Lightfoot rang'd the forest round, When services are thus acquitted,

By chance his foe's retreat he found Be sure we Pheasants must be spitted.

A truce, replies the Wolf. 'Tis done.

The Dog the parley thus begun: $ 93. FABLE XVI.' The Pin and the Needle.

How can that strong intrepid mind A Pin, who long had serv'd a beauty,

Attack a weak defenceless kind ? Proficient in the toilet's duty,

Those jaws should prey on nobler food, Had form'd her sleeve, connin'd her hair, And drink the boar's and lion's blood; Or given her knot a smarter air,

Great souls with gen'rous pity melt, Now nearest to her heart was plac'd,

Which coward tyrants never felt. Now in her mantua's tail disgrac'd;

How harmless is our fleecy care ! But could she partial fortune blame,

Be brave, and let thy mercy spare. Who saw her lover serv'd the same.

Friend, says the Wolf, the matter weigh; At length from all her honors cast,

Nature design'd us beasts of prey; Through various turns of life she pass'd; As such, when hunger finds a treat, Now glitter'd on a tailor's arm,

"Tis necessary Wolves should eat. Now kept a beggar's infant warm ;

If, mindful of the bleating weal, Now, rang'd within a miser's coat,

Thy bosom burn with real zeal, Contributes to his yearly groat :

Hence, and thy tyrant lord beseech; Now rais'd again from low approach,

To him repeat the moving speech : She visits in the doctor's coach!

A Wolf eats sheep but now and then; Here, there, by various fortune tost,

Ten thousands are devour'd by men.
At last in Gresham-hall was lost.


foe may prove a curse;
Charm’d with the wonders of the show, But a pretended friend is worse.
On ev'ry side, above, below,
She now of this or that inquires ;

$ 95. FABLE xvr. The Painter who pleased What least was understood admires.

nobody and every body. 'Tis plain, each thing so struck her mind, Lest men suspect your tale untrue, Her head's of virtuoso kind.

Keep probability in view.
And pray what's this, and this, dear Sir? The trav'ller leaping o'er those bounds,
A Needle, says the interpreter.

The credit of his book confounds.
She knew the name : and thus the fooli Who with his tongue hath armies routed,
Address'd her as a tailor's tool.:-

Makes ev’n his real courage doubted : A needle with that filthy stone,

But fatt'ry never seems absurd, Quite idle, all with rust o’ergrown!

The Aatter'd always take your

word: You better might employ your parts,

Impossibilities seem just; And aid the sempstress in her arts.

They take the strongest praise on trust. But tell me how the friendship grew,

Hyberboles, though ne'er so great, Between that paltry flint and you.

Will still come short of self-conceit.


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So very like, a Painter drew,

There o'er some petty club preside; That ev'ry eye the picture knew ;

So poor, so paltry is their pride ! He hit complexion, feature, air,

Nay, ev'n with fools whole nights will sit, So just, the life itself was there.

In hopes to be supreme in wit. No flatt'ry with his colors laid,

If these can read, to these I write, To bloom restor'd the faded maid ;

To set their worth in truest light.
He gave each muscle all its strength;

A Lion-cub, of sordid mind,
The mouth, the chin, the nose's length, Avoided all the lion-kind;
His honest

, pencil touch'd with truth; Fond of applause, he sought the feasts
And mark'd the date of age and youth. Of vulgar and ignoble beasts ;
He lost his friends, his practice fail'd; With asses all his time he spent ;
Truth should not always be reveal'd; Their club's perpetual president:
In dusty piles his pictures lay,

He caught their manners, looks, and airs; For no one sent the second pay.

An ass in ev'ry thing but ears ! Two bustos, fraught with ev'ry grace,

If e'er his highness meant a joke, A Venus and A pollo's face,

They grinn'd applause before he spoke; He plac'd in view; resolv'd to please

But at each word what shouts of praise ! Whoever sat, he drew from these;

Good gods! how natural he brays! From these corrected ev'ry feature,

Elate with flatt:ry and conceit,
And spirited each awkward creature.

He seeks his royal sire's retreat;
All things were set; the hour was come, Forward, and fond to show his parts,
His pallet ready o'er his thumb,

His highness brays; the lion starts :
My Lord appear’d; and, seated right

Puppy! that curs’d vociferation
In proper attitude and light,

Betrays thy life and conversation :
The Painter look’d, he sketch'd the piece, Coxcombs, an ever-noisy race,
Then dipp'd his pencil, talk'd of Greece. Are trumpets of their own disgrace.
Of Titian's tints, of Guido's air;

Why so severe ? the Cub replies;
Those eyes, my Lord, the spirit there

Our senate always held me wise. Might well a Raphael's hand require,

How weak is pride! returns the sire; To give them all the native fire;

All fools are vain when fools admire !
The features fraught with sense and wit, But know, what stupid asses prize,
You'll grant, are very hard to hit ;

Lions and noble beasts despise.
But yet with patience you shall view
As much as paint and art can do.

§ 97. FABLE XX. The old Hen and the Cock.
Observe the work. My Lord replied, Restrain your child; you'll soon believe
Till now I thought my mouth was wide ; The text which says, We sprung from Eve.”
Besides, my nose is somewhat long;

As an old Hen led forth her train, Dear Sir, for me 'tis far too young.

And seem'd to peck to show the grain ; Oh pardon me! the artist cried,

She rak’d the chaff, she scratch'd the ground, In this the painters must decide.

And glean'd the spacious yard around.
The piece ev’n common eyes must strike; A giddy Chick, to try her wings,
I warrant it extremely like.

On the well's narrow margin springs,
My Lord examin'd it anew;

And prone she drops. The mother's breast No looking-glass seem'd half so true.

All day with sorrow was possest. A Lady came, with borrow'd grace,

A Cock she met; her son she knew, He from his Venus form'd her face.

And in her heart affection grew. Her lover prais'd the Painter's art ;

My son, says she, I grant your years So like the picture in his heart !

Have reach'd beyond a mother's cares. To ev'ry age some charm he lent;

I see you vig'rous, strong, and bold; Er'n beauties were alınost content.

I hear with joy your triumphs told. Through all the town his art they prais'd ; 'Tis not from Cocks thy fate I dread; His custom grew, his price was rais'd.

But let thy ever-wary tread Had he the real likeness shown,

Avoid yon well; the fatal place Would any man the picture own?

Is sure perdition to our race. But when thus happily he wrought,

Print this my counsel on thy breast : Each found the likeness in his thought. To the just gods I leave the rest.

He thank'd her care; yet day by day § 96. FABLE XIX. The Lion and the Cul.

His bosom burn'd to disobey; How fond are men of rule and place,

And ev'ry time the well he saw, Who court it from the mean and base ! Scorn'd in his heart the foolish law : These cannot bear an equal nigh,

Near and more near each day he drew, But from superior merit fly.

And long d to try the dang'rous view. They love the cellar's vulgar joke,

Why was this idle charge? he cries; And lose their hours in ale and smoke, Let courage female fears despise.


I say



Or did she doubt my heart was brave, “Each hates his neighbour for encroaching ; And therefore this injunction gave?

" 'Squire stigmatises squire for poaching; Or does her harvest store the place,

“ Beauties with beauties are in arms, A treasure for her younger race?

“ And scandal pelts each other's charms; And would she thus my search prevent? “ Kings too their neighbour kings dethrone, I stand resolv'd, and dare th' event.

“In hope to make the world their own. Thus said, he mounts the margin's round, “ But let us limit our desires ; And pries into the depth profound.

“ Not war like beauties, kings, and squires; He stretch'd his neck; and from below “ For though we both one prey pursue, With stretching neck advanc'd a foe :

“ There's game enough for us and you.” With wrath his ruffled plumes he rears, The foe with ruffled plumes appears :

$ 99. FABLE XXII. The Goat without a Beard. Threat answer'd threat; his fury grew; "Tis certain that the modish passions Headlong to meet the war he flew;

Descends among the crowd, like fashions. But when the wat’ry death he found,

Excuse me, then, if pride, conceit, He thus lamented as he drown'd:

(The manners of the fair and great,) I ne'er had been in this condition,

I give to monkeys, asses, hogs, But for my mother's prohibition.

Fleas, owls, goats, butterflies, and dogs.

that these are proud : what then? $98. FABLE XXI. The Rat-Catcher and Cats. I never said they equal men. The rats by night such mischief did,

A Goat (as vain as Goat can be)
Betty was ev'ry morning chid :

Afected singularity;
They undermind whole sides of bacon; Whene'er a thymy bank he found,
Her cheese was sapp'd, her tarts were taken ; He roll'd upon the fragrant ground;
Her pasties, fenc'd with thickest paste,

And then with fond attention stood,
Were all demolish'd and laid waste.

Fix'd o'er his image in the food. She curs'd the Cat for want of duty,

“I hate my frowsy beard,” he cries ; Who left her foes a constant booty.

My youth is lost in this disguise. An engineer of noted skill

“ Did not the females know my vigor, Engag‘d to stop the growing ill.

“Well might they loath this rev’rend figure." From room to room he now surveys

Resolv'd to smooth his shaggy face, Their haunts, their works, their secret ways, He sought the barber of the place. Finds where they 'scape an ambuscade, A Aippant monkey, spruce and smart, And whence the nighily sally's made.

Hard-by profess'd the dapper art; An envious Cat, from place to place,

pole with pewter basons hung; Unseen attends his silent pace.

Black rotten teeth in order strung; She saw that, if his trade went on,

Rang’d cups that in the window stood, The purring race must be undone;

Lin'd with red rags, to look like blood, So secretly removes his baits,

Did well his threefold trade explain : And ev'ry stratagem defeats.

Who shav'd, drew teeth, and breath'd a vein. Again he sets the poison’d toils,

The Goat he welcomes with an air, And Puss again the labour foils.

And seats him in his wooden chair : “ What foe (to frustrate my designs) Mouth, nose, and cheek the lather hides ; “My schemes thus nightly countermines ?" Light, smooth, and swift the razor glides. Incens'd, he cries: “ this very hour

I hope your custom, sir,” says Pug ; “ The wretch shall bleed beneath my pow'r." « Sure never face was half so smug."

So said—a pondrous trap he brought, The Goat, impatient for applause, And in the fact poor Puss was caught. Swift to the neigh'ring hill withdraws;

“ Smuggler," says he," thou shalt be made The shaggy people grinnd and stard : “ A victim to our loss of trade."

“ Heighday! what's here without a beard? The captive Cat, with piteous mews, “ Say, brother, whence the dire disgrace? For pardon, life, and freedom sues.

“ What envious hand hath robb’d your face?" “ A sister of the science spare ;

-When thus the fop, with smiles of scorn : “ One int'rest is our common care."

“Are beards by civil nations worn ? " What insolence !" the man replied ; “ E'en Muscovites have mow'd their chins : “ Shall Cats with us the game divide ?

“ Shall wc, like formal Capuchins, “Were all your interloping band

“ Stubborn in pride, retain the mode, “ Extinguish d, or expellid the land,

“ And bear about the hairy load? “We Rat-catchers might raise our fees, “ Whene'er we through the village stray, “ Sole guardians of a nation's cheese !," “ Are we not mock'd along the way, A Cat, who saw the lifted knife,

• Insulted with loud shouts of scorn, Thus spoke, and sav'd her sister's life :

By boys our beards disgrac'd and torn?" “ In ev'ry age and clime we see,

“Were you no more with Goats to dwell, “ Two of a trade can ne'er agree.

“ Brother, 'I grant you reason well,”



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