contempt I could give it both by accent and action. At the conclufion of the effay my uncle Antony fhut the book and demanded what I thought of the author-" Hang him," I exclaimed, "poor, Grub-ftreet Garreteer; the "fellow is too contemptible for your notice; "he can neither write, nor reafon; he is a mere "ignoramus, and does not know the commoneft "rules of logic: he has no feature of a critic "about him, but the malice of one.". -"Hold your tongue," cried Antony, no longer able to contain himself, "you are a booby; I will "maintain it to be as fine an effay as ever was "written."-With these words he fnatched up the magazine and departed: I saw no more of him that night, and early next morning was presented by a fervant with the following billet"The Grub-ftreet Garreteer finds himself no "longer fit company for the fagacious Mr. "William Simper; therefore defires him without ❝lofs of time to feek out better fociety than "that of a mere ignoramus, who does not know the common rules of logic: one rule however he "makes bold to lay down, which is, Never again "to fee the face of an impertinent upftart, called "William Simper, whilft he remains on this "earth." A. S. N° CXXXII. Sunt verba et voces, quibus hunc lenire dolorem HORAT. RIVEN from my uncle Antony's doors by my unlucky miftake between the hen and her egg, my cafe would have been defperate, but that I had yet one ftring left to my bow, and this was my aunt Mrs. Sufanna Simper, who lived within a few miles of my uncle, but in such declared hoftility, that I promised myself a favorable reception, if I could but flatter her animofity with a fufficient portion of invective; and for this I deemed myfelf very tolerably qualified, having fo much good-will towards the business, and no flight inducements to fpur me to it. My aunt, who was an aged maiden, and a valetudinarian, was at my arrival closeted with her apothecary: upon his departure I was admitted to my audience, in which I acquitted myfelf with all the addrefs I was master of: my aunt heard my story through without interrupting me by a fingle word; at laft, fixing her eyes upon me, fhe faid, "'Tis very well, child; you "have faid enough; your uncle's character I perfectly understand; look well to your own, ❝for upon that will depend the terms you and I "fhall be upon."-She now took up a phial from the table and furveying it for fome time, faid to me- Here is a noftrum recommended "by my apothecary, that promises great things, "but perhaps contains none of the wondrous properties it professes to have: the label says "it is a carminative, fedative mixture; in "other words, it will expel vapours and fpafms, "and quiet the mind and fpirits: Do you " think it will make good what it promises ?" -I So whimsical a queftion put to me at such a moment confounded me not a little, and I only murmured out in reply, that I hoped it would→→→ "Take it then," faid my aunt," as you have "faith in it; fwallow it yourself, and when I fee "how it operates with you, I may have more "confidence in it on my own account."was now in a more awkward dilemma than ever, for she had emptied the dose into a cup, and tendered it to me in fo peremptory a manner, that, not knowing how to excuse myself, and being naturally fubmiffive, I filently took the cup with a trembling hand, and swallowed its abominable contents. VOL. V. F « Much "Much good may it do you, child," cried fhe, you have done more for me than I would for any doctor in the kingdom: "Don't you find it naufeous to the palate ?”— I confest that it was very naufeous." And did sc you think yourself in need of fuch a medi"cine?"" I did not perceive that I was." "Then you did not fwallow it by your own " choice, but my defire ?"-I had no hesitation in acknowledging that." Upon my word, "child," the replied, "you have a very accom❝modating way with you." I was now fighting with the curfed drug, and had all the difficulty in life to keep it where it was. My aunt faw my diftrefs, and fmiling at it demanded if I was not fick: I confeft I was rather difcompofed in my ftomach with the draught." I don't doubt it," fhe replied; " but as you have fo civilly made "yourself fick for my fake, cannot you flatter "me fo far as to be well, when I requeft it?" I was just then struggling to keep the naufea down, and though I could not anfwer, put the best face upon the matter in my power. A maid-servant came in upon my aunt's ringing her bell." Betty," said she, “take «. away these things; this doctor will poison us " with his dofes."-" Foh !" cried the wench, how it fmells!" "Nay, but only put your lips "to the cup," faid the miftrefs, "there is "enough left for you to tafte it.""I tafte it! "I'll not touch it, I want none of his nafty phy"fic."" Well, but though you don't want it," rejoined the mistress, "tafte it nevertheless, if it "be only to flatter my humour."-" Excufe «me, madam,” replied Betty, "I'll not make "myself fick to flatter any body."" Humph!" cried my aunt, "how this wench's want of man❝ners must have shocked you, nephew William! "you swallowed the whole dose at a word, fhe, 86 though my fervant, at my repeated command "would not touch it with her lips; but thefe "low-bred creatures have a will of their own." There was fomething in iny aunt's manner I did not understand; the puzzled me, and I thought it best to keep myself on the reserve, and wait the further developement of her humour in filence. We went down to fupper; it was elegantly ferved, and my aunt particularly recommended two or three dishes to me; her hofpitality embarraffed me not a little, for my ftomach was by ha means reconciled; yet I felt myself bound in good manners to eat of her dishes and commend their cookery; this I did, though forely against F2 |