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The being handsome and those ugly, I know that
Thou shalt becoine zealous, but mind
(watch them. - For my part I'll say, friend [rujo,
That it is a pity Heaven should have made
A Coxcomb out of an exemplary Monk.*
If it brings thee no money, it gives thee
What sort of a couple this was, the reader may guess at from the following anecdote, which, though drawn by the hand of a farmer, is a most striking picture of a Spanish Ambassador and the Daughter of a Republican Judge. “ Frankford,” (a little village near Philadelphia)
- July 23d, 1798. "MR. PORCUPINE, “This morning, two of the Spanish Ambassador's coach horses accidentally got into a clover lot of · Mr. Samuel Griffith's, who in an amicable manner
gave him information of the same, and requested him to send one of his men for them; he in an arbifrary manner told Mr.Griffith, that he turned them himself, which was actually false; in the mean time himself and one of his footmen being employed about getting a mare out of his pasture from one of his horses, which was continually running after her ; at length they got them parted, and pur the horse in the stable, and immediately his lady with a most horrid bawl, said Chevalier, give her a most infernal beating, that she may never come back again. Mr. Thomas H. Griffitli, at the same time called to the footman, and told him, that
; * Alluding to his having been once a Novice.
if he did not come shortly and turn the horses out of his father's inclosure, that he would turn them into the highway; the lady replied, What's that? Continued Mr. H. Griffith, send Barney to turn the horses out of the clover, or I will turn them into the road; Chevalier advances to him with a staff in his hand, and said, Mr. Griffith; to which he replied, that's me, Sir, say on, and I'll hear you ; to which Chevalier replied, you infamous blackguard, if you do not keep your sheep out of my place, I'll shoot them by G-d, for I saw your father open the gate at nine o'clock last night; Mr, Griffith replied, that's an infamous lye. You call me infamous, G-d den you? He immediately came at Mr. Griffith with his staff, drawing a sword out of it, and made a stab at him with it; he leapt off the fence where he was sitting, having no weapon of defence but a scythe whetstone, which he said he would actually hurl at his head, if it had not been for breaking the whetstone; but perceiving a swingletre of the plow, he laid hold on it, and advanced at the Chevalier, who making several stabs with his sword at Mr. Griffith, who defending himself with his comical weapon of war, received no harm; the lady coming to them, said, d-n you, we will have you in gaol to morrow; for don't you know thata minister's person and property is sacred ? to which Mr. Griffith said, he did not care, for he was not a going to be murdered by him, if he was sacred; but I suppose, said he, if you could tear off my wig, and throw it across the road, you would be satisfied; but we are in a free country, and therefore you shall not trample my wig in the mud, Madam.*
himself with word at Mr. Ġwho making
* The farmer alludes, here, to the feats of the mother of the Ambassador's lady, who very often diverted herself with the judge's wig, especially when the old man was drunk.
The following character of Mifflin, Governor of Pennsylvania, was handed me by one of his associates in the rebellion.
“ That Tone, the tinker, should exert himself to cause the American cockade to be taken down, was a thing of course; it is part of the insignia of a .. soldier, and the contemptible wretch must feel himself upbraided by every circumstance which reminds him of a profession, for which he never pos. sessed any other qualification than that of haranguing recruits from the head of a hogshead.
6 That his ********* should instigate to this measure was as natural, as it was necessary to the cause of his employers. The monster who, for about twice the number of pieces that Judas betrayed our Saviour, could swear to the prostitution of his own mother, must desire to degrade whatever is virtuous or dignified, whether it relate to his mother country, or to that which has been so unfortunate as to adopt him."
The younger brother of this lady called his mother an old b-h, during the summer of 1798, while they resided at the house of SNYDER, a miller, in my neighbourhood. I had the account from the old niiller bip:self, who appeared to be much shocked at the scandalous brawls in the family of his lodger!
The English reader will be apt to form erroneous conjeciures from facts like these, unless I put him on his guard. He will, naturally enough, conclude, that, in a country, where a chief justice's family acted thus, the common people must be destitute of all kind of decency, and that the lowest rank of all must consist of mere devils in human shape. But, such a conclusion would be very unjust. It must always be recollected, that the worst people in America, are those that are in powes. This is one of the inevitable effects of a democratical government.
The following article, like most of the others I under this head, was never published before. It was
put off till a long time after it was communicated, because the charge was too serious for me to bring forward in print, without previously satisfying myself that it was well founded, which I did, at last; but it was then too late to publish the article in a newspaper. It is now put on record here as an anecdote, the truth of which I had a good opportunity of ascertaining, and which I was fully convinced of.
For Porcupine's GAZETTE.
. Wm. P. Law: " Reader, this is a certain fact, as related by Mr. Adney Evans, who in my, and the presence of three orher genıleman on the date above, asserted that his relation Frederick Evans, having a law-suit pending, said, that he (Frederick Evans) had bribed three ofthe judges of the court of N************* county, and further said, that he had offered a bag containing 500 dollars to another of the judges; but instead of coinciding, he (the judge) spit in his face. Now, citizens, if this is a fact, why not expel all such unjust judges from their seat or place of office and trust, and crown the uncorrupted one
with 'honour more weighty, if any office more weighty can be found; but if it is a false assertion of Mr. Evans's (in order to create disturbances, aniniosities, and confusion in the state, government, private families; and to prejudice and traduce private characters, to gain some latent advantage) he ought to suffer the torture of Genoa, as did the parricides in France some years ago ; but, if it is a truth, I think the hottest hell ought to be their portion; and may I never enter eternal happiness, if I would not freely execute their direful sentence with the greatest cheerfulnessif no other executioner could be found, rather than such foul, vile, and diabolical proceedings should be carried on to the manifest injury of all good men; nay, the very heathens would not suffer such proceedings to go unpunished; for I would fain ask any rational person, what security he had for his property, if men who are placed in that high station, are to be corrupted by a temporary aid of a few dollars ? I also wish to be informed what greater curse ever can befall a people than to suffer unrighteous judgment in the land ? There is not a highwayman, nor any other atrocious villain, would have any thing to fear from the law, if they could only offer a large sacrifice of gold upon the altar of justice, (or rather injustice), nay, all men would immediately sink into a state of barbarism, a confusion, if such things are winked at: the strong would soon devour the weali people, and the very devils would laugh to see such an-hubhub kicked up to our utter ruin and extermination. For as Milton very justly observed in his poem of Paradise Lost, Satan was very envious at seeing our first parents in their happy state of innocence; and no wonder if he tries all in his power to corrupt our morals in order to set us one against another to kill and persecute each other, and what greater persecution can there happen than to suffer the weak to