The long recefs between the Trinity and Michaelmas terms empties the colleges of Oxford, as well as the courts of Westminster. Ifpent at my father's houfe at Buriton in Hampshire, the two months of Auguft and September. It is whimfical enough, that as foon as I left Magdalen College, my tafte for books began to revive; but it was the fame blind and boyish tafte for the purfait of exotic hiftory. Unprovided with original learning, unformed in the habits of thinking, unfkilled in the arts of compofition, I refolved-to write a book. The 'title of this firft effay, The Age of Sefoftris, was perhaps fuggefted by Voltaire's Age of Lewis XIV. which was new and popular; but my fole object was to inveftigate the probable date of the life and reign of the conqueror of Afia. I was then enamoured of fir John Marfham's Canon Chronicus; an elaborate work, of whofe merits and defects I was not yet qualified to judge. According to his fpecious, though narrow plan, I fettled my hero about the time of Solomon, in the tenth century before the Chriftian æra. It was therefore incumbent on me, unless I would adopt fir Ifaac Newton's fhorter chronology, to remove a formidable objection; and my folution, for a youth of fifteen, is not devoid of ingenuity. In his verfion of the facred books, Manetho the high priest has identified Sethofis, or Sefoftris, with the elder brother of Danaus, who landed in Greece, according to the Parian Marble, fifteen hundred and ten years before Chrift. But in my fuppofition the high priest is guilty of a voluntary error; flattery is the prolific parent of falsehood. Ma netho's Hiftory of Egypt is dedi cated to Ptolemy Philadelphus, who derived a fabulous or illegitimate pedigree from the Macedonian kings of the race of Hercules. Danaus is the ancestor of Hercules; and after the failure of the elder branch, his defcendants, the Ptolemies, are the fole reprefentatives of the royal family, and may claim by inheritance the kingdom which they hold by conqueft. Such were my juvenile difcoveries; at a riper age, I no longer prefume to connect the Greek, the Jewish, and the Egyptian antiquities, which are loft in a diftant cloud. Nor is this the only inftance, in which the belief and knowledge of the child are fuperfeded by the more rational ignorance of the man. During my ftay at Buriton, my infant-labour was diligently profecuted, without much interruption from company or country diverfions; and I already heard the mufic of public applaufe. The difcovery of my own weakness was the firft fymptom of tafte. On my return, to Oxford, the age of Sefoftris was wifely relinquithed; but the imperfect theets remained twenty years at the bottom of a drawer, till, in a general clearance of papers, (November 1772) they were committed to the flames. After the departure of Dr. Waldegrave, I was transferred with his other pupils, to his academical heir, whofe literary character did not command the refpect of the college, Dr. **** well remembered that he had a falary to receive, and only forgot that he had a duty to perform. Inftead of guiding the ftudies, and watching over the behaviour of his difciple, I was never fummoned to attend even the ceremony of a lecture; and, excepting excepting one voluntary visit to his rooms, during the eight months of his titular office, the tutor and pupil lived in the fame college as ftrangers to each other. The want of experience, of advice, and of occupation, foon betrayed me into fome impropriety of conduct, illchofen company, late hours, and inconfiderate expence. My growing debts might be fecret; but my frequent abfence was vifible and fcandalous; and a tour to Bath, a vifit into Buckinghamshire, and four excurfions to London in the fame winter, were coftly and dangerous frolics. They were, indeed, without a meaning, as with out an excufe. The irksomeness of a cloistered life repeatedly tempted me to wander: but my chief pleasure was that of travelling; and I was too young and bathful to enjoy, like a manly Oxonian in town, the pleafures of London. In all thefe excurfions I eloped from Oxford; I returned to college; in a few days I eloped again, as if I had been an independent ftranger in a hired lodging, without once hearing the voice of admonition, without once feeling the hand of control. Yet my time was loft, my expences were multiplied, my behaviour abroad was unknown; folly as well as vice fhould have awakened the attention of my fupe ors, and my tender years would have juftified a more than ordinary degree of reftraint and difcipline. It might at leaft, be expected, that an ecclefiaftical school fhould inculcate the orthodox principles of religion. But our venerable mother had contrived to unite the oppofite extremes of bigotry and indifference; an heretic, or unbeliever, was a monfter in her eyes; but she was always, or often, or sometimes, remifs in the fpiritual education of her own children. According to the ftatutes of the univerfity, every ftudent, before he is matriculated, muft fubfcribe his affent to the thirty-nine articles of the church of England, which are figned by more than read, and read by more than believe them. My infufficient age excufed me, however, from the immediate performance of this legal ceremony; and the vice chancellor directed me to return, as foon as I fhould have accomplished my fifteenth year; recommending me, in the mean while, to the inftru&tion of my college. My college forgot to inftruct; I forgot to return, and was myself forgotten by the first magiftrate of the univerfity. Without a fingle lecture, either public or private, either chriftian or proteftant, without any academical fubfcription, without any epifcopal confirmation, I was left by the dim light of my catechifm to grope my way to the chapel and communion-table, where I was admitted, without a queftion, how far, er by what means, I might be qualified to receive the facrament. Such almoft incredible neglect was productive of the worst mifchiefs. From my childhood I had been fond of religious difputation; my poor aunt has been often puzzled by the myfteries which the ftrove to believe; nor had the elastic fpring been totally broken by the weight of the atmosphere of Oxford. The blind activity of idlenefs urged me to advance without armour into the dangerous mazes of controverly; and at the age of fixteen, I bewildered myself in the errors of the church of Rome. The The progrefs of my converfion may tend to illuftrate, at least, the hiftory of my own mind. It was not long fince Dr. Middleton's free inquiry had founded an alarm in the theological world: much ink and much gali had been spilt in the defence of the primitive miracles; and the two dulleft of their champions were crowned with academic honours by the univerfity of Oxford. The name of Middleton was unpopular; and his profcription very naturally led me to perufe his writings, and thofe of his antagonifts. His bold criticism, which approaches the precipice of infidelity, produced on my mind à finguJar effect; and had I perfevered in the communion of Rome, I fhould now apply to my own fortune the prediction of the Sybil, Via prima falutis, Quod minimè reris, Grain padetur ab urbe. The elegance of ftyle and freedom of argument were repelled by a fhield of prejudice. I ftill revered the character, or rather the names, of the faints and fathers whom Dr. Middleton expofes; nor could he deftroy my implicit belief, that the gift of miraculous powers was continued in the church, during the first four or five centuries of chriftianity. But I was unable to refift the weight of hiftorical evidence that within the fame period most of the leading doctrines of popery were already introduced in theory and practice: nor was my conclufion abfurd, that miracles are the teft of truth, and that the church must be orthodox and pure, which was fo often approved by the vifible interpofition of the Deity. The marvellous tales which are fo boldly t attefted by the Bafils and Chryfoftoms, the Auftins and Jeroms, compelled me to embrace the fuperior merits of celibacy, the inftitution of the monaftic life, the use of the fign of the crofs, of holy oil, and even of images, the invocation of faints, the worship of relics, the rudiments of purgatory in prayers for the dead, and the tremendous myftery of the facrifice of the body and blood of Chrift, which infenfibly fwelled into the prodigy of tranfubftantiation. In thefe difpofitions, and already more than half a convert, I formed an unlucky intimacy with a young gentleman of our college, whofe name I thall fpare. With a character less refolute, Mr. **** had imbibed the fame religious opinions and fome Popish books, I know not through what channel, were conveyed into his poffeffion. I read, I applauded, I believed the English translations of two famous works of Boffuet bithop of Meaux, the Expofition of the Catholic Doctrine, and the Hiftory of the Proteftant Variations, atchieved my converfion, and I furely fell by a noble hand. : : No fooner had I fettled my new religion than I refolved to profefs myself a catholic. Youth is fincere and impetuous; and a momentary glow of enthusiasm had raised me above all temporal confiderations. In my laft excurfion to London, I addreffed myself to Mr. Lewis, a Roman catholic bookseller in Ruffel-fireet, Covent Garden, who recommended me to a prieft, of whofe name and order I am at prefent ignorant. In our firft interview he foon difcovered that perfuafion was needlefs After founding the motives and merits of my converfion, converfion, he confented to admit me into the pale of the church; and at his feet, on the 8th of June, 1753. I folemnly, though privately, abjured the errors of herefy. The feduction of an English youth of family and fortune was an act of as much danger as glory; but he bravely overlooked the danger, of which I was not then fufficiently informed. "Where a person is reconciled to the fee of Rome, or procures others to be reconciled, the offence (fays Blackstone) amounts to high treafon." And if the humanity of the age would prevent the execution of this fanguinary ftatute, there were other laws of a lefs odious caft, which condemned the priest to perpetual imprisonment, and transferred the profelyte's eftate to his nearest relation. An elaborate controverfial epiftle, approved by my director, and addreffed to my father, anLounced and juftified the ftep which I had taken. My father was neither a bigot nor a philofopher; but his affection deplored the lofs of an only fon; and his good fenfe was aftonifhed at my strange departure from the religion of my country. In the firft fally of his paffion he divulged a fecret which prudence might have fuppreffed, and the gates of Magdalen College were for ever fhut against my return. Eliot (now lord Eliot) to fix me, during fome years, at Laufanne in Switzerland. Mr. Frey, a Swifs gentleman of Bafil undertook the conduct of the journey: we left London the 19th of June, croffed the fea from Dover to Calais, travelled poft through feveral provinces of France, by the direct road of St Quentin, Rheims, Langres, and Befancon, and arrived the 30th of June at Lausanne, where I was immediately fettled under the roof and tuition of Mr. Pavilliard, a Calvinist minister. After carrying me to Putney, to the house of his friend Mr. Mallet, by whofe philofophy I was rather fcandalized than reclaimed, it was neceffary for my father to form a new plan of education, and to devise fome method which, if poflible, might effect the cure of my fpiritual malady. After much debate it was determined, from the advice and perfonal experience of Mr. The first marks of my father's difpleasure rather aftonished than afflicted me: when he threatened to banish, and disown, and difinherit a rebellious fon, I cherished a fecret hope that he would not be able or willing to effect his menaces; and the pride of confcience encouraged me to fuftain the honourable and important part which I was now acting. My fpirits were raised and kept alive by the rapid motion of my journey, the new and various fcenes of the continent, and the civility of Mr. Frey, a man of fenfe, who was not ignorant of books or the world. But after he had refigned me into Pavilliard's hands, and I was fixed in my new habitation, I had leifure to contemplate the ftrange and melancholy profpect before me. My firft complaint arofe from my ignorance of the language. In my childhood I had once ftudied the French grammar, and I could imperfectly underftand the eafy profe of a familiar fubject. But when I was thus fuddenly caft on a foreign land, I found myfelf deprived of the use of fpeech and of hearing; and, during fome weeks incapable not only of enjoying the pleasures of converfa tion, but even of alking or anfwering a question in the common intercourfe of life. To a homebred Englishman every object, every cuftom was offenfive; but the native of any country might have been difgufted with the general afpect of his lodging and entertainment. I had now exchanged my elegant apartment in Magdalen College, for a narrow, gloomy ftreet, the most unfrequented of an unhandfome town, for an old inconvenient bouse, and for a small chamber, ill-contrived and ill-furnished, which, on the approach of winter, instead of a companionable fire, must be warmed by the dull invifible heat of a stove. From a ma. I was again degraded to the dependance of a fchool-boy. Mr. Pavilliard managed my expences, which had been reduced to a di minutive ftate: I received a small monthly allowance for my pocketmoney; and helpless, and aukward as I have ever been, I no longer enjoyed the indifpenfable comfort of a fervant. My condition feemed as deftitute of hope, as it was devoid of pleasure; I was feparated for an indefinite, which appeared an infinite term from my native country; and I had loft all connection with my catholic friends. I have fince reflected with furprife, that as the Romith clergy of every part of Europe maintain a clofe correfpondence, with each other, they never attempted, by letters or meffages, to refcue me from the hands of the heretics, or at leaft to confirm my zeal and conftancy in the profeffion of the faith. Such was my first introduction to Laufanne; a place where I spent nearly five years with pleasure and profit, which I afterwards revifited without compullion, and which I have finally felected as the moft grateful retreat for the decline of my life. But it is the peculiar felicity of youth that the most unpleafing objects and events feldom inake a deep or lafting impreflion; it forgets the past, enjoys the prefent, and anticipates the future. At the flexible age of fixteen I foon learned to endure, and gradually to adopt, the new forms of arbitrary manners: the real hardships of my fituation were alienated by time. Had I been fent abroad in a more splendid style, fuch as the fortune and bounty of my father might have fupplied, I might have returned home with the fame ftock of language and science, which our countrymen ufually import from the continent. An exile and a prifoner as I was, their example betrayed me into fome irregularities of wine, of play, and of idle excurfions; but I foon felt the impoflibility of affociating with them on equal terms; and after the departure of my first acquaintance, I held a cold and civil correspondence with their fucceffors. This feclufion from Englith fociety was attended with the moft folid benefits. In the Pays de Vaud, the French language is ufed with lefs imperfection than in most of the diftant provinces of France: in. Pavilliard's family, neceflity compelled me to liften and to fpeak; and if I was at first difheartened by the apparent flownefs, in a few months I was aftonifhed by the rapidity of my progrefs. My pronunciation was formed by the conftant repetition of the fame founds; the variety of words and idioms, the rules of grammar, and diftin&tions of genders, were impreffed in my memory: cafe and freedom were obtained |