Will that perpetual clack lie never ftill?
That rival to the foftnefs of a mill!

Some couch and diftant room must be my choice,
Where I may fleep uncurs'd with wife and noise.'
Long this uncomfortable life they led,
With fnarling meals, and each a fep'rate bed.
To an old uncle oft fhe would complain,
Beg his advice, and scarce from tears refrain.
Old Wifewood smok'd the matter as it was,
Cheer up,' cry'd he; and I'll remove the cause.
'A wondrous fpring within my garden flows,
Of fovereign virtue, chiefly to compofe
Domestic jars, and matrimonial ftrife,
The best elixir t' appease man and wife;
Strange are th' effects, the qualities divine,
'Tis water call'd, but worth its weight in wine.
If in his fullen airs fir John fhould come,

Three spoonfuls take, hold in your mouth-then

mum.

Smile, and look pleas'd, when he shall rage and scold,
Still in your mouth the healing cordial hold :
One month this fympathetic med'cine try'd,
He'll grow a lover, you a happy bride.
But, deareft niece, keep this grand fecret close,
Or every prattling huffy 'll beg a dofe.'

A water-bottle's brought for her relief:
Not Nants cou'd fooner ease the lady's grief:
Her bufy thoughts are on the trial bent,
And, female like, impatient for th' event! ·

The bonny knight reels home exceeding clear, Prepar'd for clamour and domeftic war:

Entering, he cries,-'Hey! where's our thunder fled!
No hurricane! Betty, 's your lady dead '
Madam, afide, an ample mouthful takes,
Court'fies, looks kind, but not a word fhe speaks:
Wondering, he star'd, scarcely his eyes believ'd,
But found his ears agreeably deceiv'd.

C

Why, how now, Molly, what's the crotchet now?" She finiles, and anfwers only with a bow. Then clafping her about- Why, let me die! Thefe night-clothes, Moll, become thee mightily!" With that he figh'd, her hand began to prefs, And Betty calls, her lady to undress.

Nay, kifs me, Molly,-for I'm much inclin'd.'
Her lace the cuts, to take him in the mind,
Thus the fond pair to bed enamour'd went,
The lady pleas'd, and the good knight content.
For many days these fond endearments paft,
The reconciling bottle fails at laft;

"Twas us'd and gone,-Then midnight ftorms arofe,
And looks and words the union difcompofe.
Her coach is order'd, and poft-hafte fhe flies,
To beg her uncle for fome fresh fupplies;
Transported does the ftrange effects relate,
Her knight's converfion, and her happy state!

"Why, niece,' fays he, I pry'thee apprehend, The water's water-be thyfelf thy friend; Such beauty would the coldeft husband warm, But your provoking tongue undoes the charm: Be filent and complying.-You'll foon find, Sir John without a med'cine will be kind,'

St. James's Coffee-houfe, April 13.

LETTERS from Venice fay, the difappointment of their expectation to fee his Danith majesty has very much difquieted the court of Rome. Our laft advices from Germany inform us, that the minifter of Hanover has urged the council at Ratifbonne to exert themselves in behalf of the common cause, and taken the liberty to fay, that the dignity, the virtue, the prudence of his electoral highnefs, his mafter, were called to the head of their affairs in vain, if they thought fit to leave him naked of the proper

if

means, to make thofe excellencies ufeful for the honour and fafety of the empire. They write from Berlin of the thirteenth, O. S. that the true defign of general Fleming's vifit to that court was, to infinuate that it will be for the mutual intereft of the king of Pruffia and king Auguftus to enter into a new alliance; but that the minifters of Pruffia are not inclined to his fentiments, We hear from Vienna, that his imperial majesty has expreffed great fatisfaction in their high mightineffes having communicated to him the whole that has paffed in the affair of a peace. Though there have been practises used by the agents of France, in all the Courts of Europe, to break the good underftanding of the allies, they have had no other effect, but to make all the members concerned in the alliance more doubtful of their fafety from the great offers of the enemy. The emperor is roufed by this alarm, and the frontiers of all the French dominions are in danger of being infulted the enfuing campaign. Advices from all parts confirm, that it is impoffible for France to find a way to obtain fo much credit, as to gain any one potentate of the allies, or conceive any hope for fafety from other prospects.

From my own Apartment, April 13.

⚫ I FIND it of very great use, now I am setting up for a writer of news, that I am an adept in aftrological fpeculations; by which means I avoid fpeaking of things which may offend great perfons. But, at the fame time, I must not proftitute the liberal fciences fo far, as not to utter

the truth in cafes which do not immediately concern the good of my native country. I must therefore contradict what has been fo affuredly reported by the news-writers of England, that France is in the most deplorable condition, and that their people die in great multitudes. I will therefore let the world know, that my corref pondent, by the way of Bruffels, informs me upon his honour, that the gentleman who writes the Gazette of Paris, and ought to know as well as any man, has told him, that ever fince the king has been paft his fixty-third year, or grand climacteric, there has not died one man of the French nation, who was younger than his majefty, except a very few, who were taken fuddenly near the village of Hock ftet in Germany: and fome more, who were ftraitened for lodging at a place called Ramilies, and died on the road to Ghent and Bruges *. There are also other things given out by the allies, which are shifts below a conquering nation to make ufe of. Among others it is faid, there is a general murmuring among the people of France, though at the fame time all my letters agree, that there is fo good an understanding among them, that there is not one morfel carried out of any market in the kingdom, but what is delivered upon credit.

* An humourous compliment to the duke of Marlborough, who, as Mr. Steele infinuates, fo reduced the French, that they had now neither more young men to go to war, nor more ready money to carry to market.

N° 3. Saturday,

Saturday, April 16, 1709.

STEELE.

Quicquid agunt homines—

noftri eft farrago libelli.

Juv. Sat. i. 85, 86.

Whate'er men do, or fay, or think, or dream,
Our motley Paper feizes for its theme.

Will's Coffee-houfe, April 14.

P.

THIS evening the comedy called the Country Wife was acted in Drury-lane, for the benefit of Mrs. Bignell. The part which gives name to the play' was performed by herself.

y The comedies of Wycherley bear a great refemblance to his perfonal character, in which there was little virtue, much wit, and more libertinifm. Thefe were, in the reign of Charles II. the firft qualifications of a fine gentleman, and the moft powerful recommendations to the favour of the court. The example of the wit and libertine on the throne was more or less copied by all the beaux and rakes of the kingdom-

Regis ad exemplum totus componitur orbis.

In the MS notes of Oldys on Langbaine, it is written that the incidents of this play were taken from a family of the name of Faber, anglice Smith, and others of their neighbourhood in Wiltfhire, where the author was very intimate, and probably acted one of the principal bad characters himfelf. The prefent manners do not allow of plays of this loofe caft, and fuch are most of the fame date. The Country Wife was firft acted in 1683, and afterwards as altered by Lee in 1765; but few attempts to feparate the bad from the good in the plays of this period have fucceeded, fo clofely have the authors interwoven the wit with the ribaldry.

The following curious quotation deferves a place here, on the authority of Mrs. Eliza Heywood, whofe teftimony