The Feaft of Wit; or, Sportfman's Hall. of the gardener's poetry, afked, him what he had written upon the statutes of Cephalus and Procris; upon which the gardener turned to his common placebook, and read as follows: "He bent his bow, and he shot at random, And killed his wife for a memorandum." A few days fince, a gentleman went to one of the coach offices at the weft end of the town, to take a place for Southampton, and upon his telling the clerk that his name was SALMON, the latter jocularly observed, that he fuppofed he meant to travel in the basket. A poor woman went to a pawnbroker's fhop, in Saint Giles's, and asked the lender of money if he had any fecond-hand shifts? No, replied the democratic rogue, but you should apply to the Mi. nifter; for he has more shifts than all the pawnbrokers in England. In fome exceedingly fine poetry, in praise of a very pretty woman, the poet calls her an immortal toaft. We hope the poet is pof. felfed of an everlasting bottle. 83 Progreffive abftinence, it seems is the advertiser's plan, by which, without fhocking the peculiar delicacy of the nervous fyftem in the female habit, he pledges himfelf, in twelve months, to reduce any lady of tafte and feeling, from a bottle of gin or brandy to a folitary dram of each per day !! A bookfeller at Paris, withing to fend fome copies of the new conftitution into the departments, paying the fame poftage as for the ordinary journalswas refufed by the office, upon the objection that the conftitution was not a periodical work." There I beg your pardon," replied the bookfeller, "this is the third pe One of the innkeepers in the county of York must be a bold man: in a paper, a fhort timeriodical number." fince, he advertifes-" Robert --, having taken and entered A gentleman, fingularly reupon thofe fpacious and well-markable for his uglinefs, paffing accuftomed premises THE EMPRESS OF RUSSIA, hopes for the affiftance and encouragement of all gentlemen travellers, &c." A modern moralift is now advertifing a comfortable boarding houfe, for the reception of fuch WOMEN who, from their misconduct of drinking, and other vices, render it impoffible for their husbands to live with them, &c." the Pont Neuf, at Paris, was met by an elegant lady, who, in a very gallant manner, requested him to attend her to a diftant part of the city; much elated by fuch an invitation, he accompanied the lady through many streets, till at length they arrived at a ftatuary fhop, when on the master appearing, and equefting to know the lady's pleasure, the (pointing to the gentleman) re L2 plied, 84 Ladies and their Puppies.Lottery compared to Life. plied, comme ça, (“like that") and left the hop immediately; the gentlenian, much furprised at the lady's abrupt departure, could not help asking the ftatuary what could be the reafon; who an fwered him thus: This lady, Sin, is a very good customer of mine, and has for fome years employed me to caft figures for her; how you must know, that, about fix weeks ago, the defired me to caft her a devil, of a peculiar defcription; but, in confequence of my not having a model ugly longifh peaked nofe, it will not all do. And nevertheless, after this advertisement is, publifhed no more, if any, perfon fhould have a little creature, that anfwers the character of the advertisement, if they will pleale per to remember the direction, and bring it to Mrs. Smith, the perfon is not SO provided, but, that fuch a one will still at any time be hereafter, purchased." Magazine. A enough to make a mould from, To the Editors of the Sporting I have begged the favor of her to procure me one; and, after a tedious fearch, to my great-good luck, the lady has been fo fortu. {nate as to meet with you!" قد LADIES and their PUPPIES! HE extreme TH Twhich attachment which the fair fex have fometimes fhewn to domeftic animals, has feldom produced a more fingular advertisement than the following, which appeared in the Daily Advertiser, in the courfe of the month of November, in the year 1774: AN EXCEEDING SPANIEL. SMALL LAP GENTLEMEN, Have been thinking that, as life is a lottery, you could not entertain your reader's more agreeably than by a depicture of it in your Magazine.. The infant who has lived (vegitated, if you pleafe) only, a few months, and then dropped into the grave, may be faid to have drawn a blank-The youth who has reached his 20th year, will be deemed to have drawn a 201. prize-The man of thirty has been more fortunate; he has remained in the wheel till the tickets were almoft half drawn, and may be rated at a prize of 100l, He who reaches forty, in health and independence, has indeed been a fuccefsful adventurer, and may be ranked among the few who get high prizes, and know how to enjoy them with decency and moderation. This, If they will bring it to Mrs. however, is the lot of very few; Smith, at a coach maker's, over and the man who attains the age against the Golden Head, in of forty years, in an uninterrupGreat Queen-treet, Lincoln'sted flow of health, and free of all Inn Fields, they may (if approved of) have a very good purchafer. ANY one that has (to difpofe of fuch a one, either dog or bitch, and of any colour or colours, that is very SMALL, with a very short round snub nose, and good ears; And to prevent any farther trouble, if it is not exceeding SMALL, and has any thing of a misfortune, is fuch a phoenomenon in the lottery of life, that he may well be deemed one of Fortune's favourites. We have inftances, however, of Curious Obfervations on the House Swallow. 85 of people who proceed peaceably, moft fudden turns and quick evaand even happily, from the cradlelutions. Avenues aud long to the grave, Thefe are indeed the favourites of fortuus, (or of nature, perhaps, more properly) who exift from the earliest ages of infancy to the latest ebb of life, without a torment, to rack the heart, without a pang to corrode the bofom. But thefe inftances are scarce, and the portion of mifery dealt out to the generality of mortals is fo equally diftribu ted, and fo mingled with happinefs, that while no one has much cause of complaint, scarce any walks, under hedges, pafture The fwallow, probably the have foundation of triumph.male bird, is the excubator of the houfe martins, and other little birds, announcing the approach of birds of prey; for as loop as an hawk appears, with a frill, alarming note he calls all the fwallows and martins about him, who join, and purfue in a body, buffering and ftriking their enemy, until they have driven him from the village, dating down upon his back in rapid flights, and rifing in a perpendicular line, in perfect fecurity This bird will alfo found the alarm, and have been known to ftrike at cats when they clime on the roofs of houfes, or otherwife, approach their nefts. the obfervation of a man the observation of a man of genius, that, take the whole of every peilon's life, from the birth to the funeral, each party had an equal proportion of happiness and mifery in this life. How far this obfervation may have its foundation in fact, I will not pretend to fav; but of this I am certain, that no man who has not from his own feelings, fome degree of happinefs, in this life, can have a rational profpect of more fupreme blifs in another. In a word, " good is to be happy-and the man who has man who has moft virtue, will find, to his du rable fatisfaction, that he has drawn, the 20,000l. prize in the Of each fpecies of hirundo, the lottery of life. I am, Gentlemen,fwallow alone washes on the wing, by dropping into a pool for many By Your's, &c.. times together! T. B. The following anecdotes are not much in favour of the fwallow's fagacity, however: One, or rather a pair of thefe birds, built, for two year's together, on the handles of a pair of garden fhears that were fuck up against the cave boards of an old out-houfe what is till ftranger, others built their neft on wings and body of an owl that happened, by accident, to hang dead and dry from the rafter of a the barn. 86 Sports, &c. at Margate. barn. This owl, with the neft on its wings, and with eggs in the neft, was brought as a curiofity worthy the most elegant private mufeum in Great Britain. The owner, ftruck with the oddity of the fight, furnished the bringer with a large fhell, or conch, defiring him to affix it juft where the owl had hung fufpended. many of the benefits had been deficient, the manager generously gave the ufe of the theatre, free of expence, on that night, for the general emolument of the performers, whofe benevolent pur. pofe was gratified by the affemblage of an elegant and numerous audience. Laft night alfo finished the amufements of the rooms, on which occafion a genteel and respectable affemblage met to par take of the laft trip The perfon did fo, and the fol. lowing year a pair, probably the fame pair of birds, built their neft in the conch, and laid their eggs. The owl and the conch make now a strange grotesque "On the light, fantastic toe." appearance, and are not the least When the ufual hour of fufpendcurious fpecimen in that woning the dance arrived, the Mafter derful collection of art and nature. of the Ceremonies, with his f. lencing watch in one hand, and Thus is inftinct in animals the infignia of his office in the taken the leaft out of its way an other, ftept forward, and requestundiftinguishing limited faculty. ing the attention of the company, and blind to every circumftance addreffed them in an elegant partthat does not immediately respecting fpeech, withing them health felf-prefervation, or lead at once and happiness, and hoping to to the propagation or fupport of meet them with the fame pleafing their species. fatisfaction next year, as he had experienced this. The company now retired to To the Editors of the Sporting an elegant foupet, on the invita I Magazine. GENTLEMEN, Have taken the liberty of continuing my communication, which I fhall be happy in feeing registered in your Sporting Recorder. Your's, refpe&fully, Margate, CAPT. RAFFLE. ift Nov. 1795. OUR feafon has been fashion. ably, although not numerously attended; yet there never was remembered fo great a number of people at this place, fo late in the year, as there are at prefent. The theatre closed an unprofitable feafon laft Friday: and as tion of Lord Eardley, at which Lady W affifted (the office being now vacant) as Mistress of the Ceremonies-but alas! elegant address, and genteel deportment, now yielded to noify mirth, and boisterous argument. We lamented the fudden tranfition; we experienced with regret the retreat fo recently made, and found our only confolation to arife from the hope that, fhould an union take place in confequence of fome ftolen glances and other circumftances of laft night, which have promoted the fuppofition, the fuavity of manners diftinguishing one party, may tend to correct the mafculine vehemence and prominent turbulence of the other. A confummation mation moft devoutly to be wifhed, felf in a thick bufh; but this for, not only at the libraries, but ftratagem was not executed with at every other place of her lady-fufficient alertnefs to deceive the fhip's refort.-But, IN Women will have their WHIMO.” EAGLE SHOOTING. From VAILLANT'S TRAVELS into the Interior Parts of AFRICA. N the neighbourhood of the bay, very improperly called Blettenberg, I found means to increase my collection with feve ral beautiful birds, and even with fome new fpecies, which were common here in the woods but I wished, above all, to procure one which more than onee put my patience to the proof, and had like to have coft me very dear. It was a bald-buzzard *, of a most beautiful fpecies. This bird, of the genus of the eagle, is almost as large as the ofpray. Every day 1 faw it hovering over my camp, but at fuch a distance that it could not be reached by a ball. I however conftantly obferved its motions; and I made a perfon always keep watch, and never lofe fight of it. One day that I had croffed the Queur. Boom, while walking along the bank oppofite to that on which my camp ftood, I perceived a number of heads, fragments of large fishes, and the bones and remains of fmall antelopes,ftrewed on the ground, near the rotten trunk of an old tree. I immediately concluded, that this must be the place where two of these bald-buzzards had established their fifhery, or at leaft their ordinary haunt; and it was not long be. fore I faw them foaring round in the air, at a great height. Without lofs of time, I concealed my piercing eyes of these two eagles. They doubtless obferved me; for they did not defcend. Next day, and for feveral days fucceffively, I returned to my station, at break thicket, but all my vigilance was of day. I pofted myself in the ineffectual. This bufinefs was very laborious; becaufe, to go and return, I was obliged to país the river twice; and at these times it was neceffary to wait for the ebbing of the tide. Tired out at last, as I wafted my time without being able to fucceed, I took two Hottentots with me; and croffing the river, in the middle of the night, conducted them to a spot near the trunk of an old tree, where I made them dig a hole three feet wide and four deep. When it was made, I placed myself in it; and having ordered them to cover the hole over my head with a few fticks, a piece of a mat, and fome earth, I reserved only a small opening, fufficiently large for me to put my fufee through it, and to fee the old trunk. I then defired my people to return to the camp. Day approached, but the cruel birds did not make their appearance. The earth feeming to be newly thrown up, had no doubt rendered them fufpicious; and this was a circumftance which I had not at firft thought of. At the clofe of the night, I came forth from my hole, and went to pafs a few hours at my camp; after which I returned, and interred myself as before. This expedient I continued for two days fucceffively, with much patience. During that interval, the fun had dried the earth, and made it all of one colour. About the middle of the third, I obferved the |