the window being oppofite the door, deceived him; he ftruck his head with fuch violence as to fracture his fcull, and dropped inftantly dead into a chair, holding the fparrow faft in his claws.

As two gentlemen the other day were fettling an account, at a coffee-house, one of them drew out of his pocket-book a great number of bank-notes, which induced a gentleman in the fame box to exclaim, that he wished he had as many as he could carry of them." Then, fir," replied the other, "I do not mind that, but I think I could carry more than the bank of England could fupply me with, for I think I could carry, in ten-pound bank-notes, as much as the national debt amounts to;" upon which the other gentleman offered to lay him a wager of fifty guineas, that he and nine more of the ftrongest men he could felect, could not carry the amount of the national debt in ten-pound notes, for the diftance of one mile without pitching: the wager was immediately accepted, and a calculation took place, when it was found that 512 bank-notes weighed exactly one pound weight; and 242 millions, which is computed to be the national debt, weighs 47,265 pounds; when divided among a hundred people, the weight that every one would have to carry would be 417 pounds 6 ounces per man. The gentleman who had accepted the wager was ftruck which aftonishment, and immediately paid the money, without having any recourfe to a trial.

A military hero, whom the fashionable tactics of the day denominate a fencible, in a neighbouring town, not a hundred

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miles from Stockport, inftead of going to level his fpiritual gun against the common enemy, on Christmas-day, took out his military piece, in order to kill an enemy of a lefs offenfive defcription. Unfortunately about three weeks preceding the circumftar ce the loyal corps had been called out to quell an imaginary riot, which might have happened from the figning of certain petitions against the convention bills; but luckily having no occafion to exercife his prowefs on that day, his piece remained undischarged; and the folitary bullet which it contained, inflead of being difcharged at the heads of the feditious, was reserved for a brace of fparrows, at which he actually let fly; but (Oh! horrible! hear it not, ye fportmen, and tell it not in the field of military honour) our hero, instead of the fparrows, made the little mistake of shooting a horfe in the head: but as the animal does not come under the game law, our intrepid Alexander was exonerated on paying the fum of thirteen guineas; a mere bagatelle, confidering that the sportsman had not taken out a licence for fhooting horfes.

The Bengal royal tyger, that killed young Munro fome time ago on Sauger ifland, where he had been on a fhooting party, (and of which a beautiful print is given in a former number of our Magazine), was taken up by a Burwhalla (the animal having been killed by one of the party), which proved to be the largest creature of the kind ever feen on that ifland.

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gefhall. The penalties on thefe | villains, who equally attack poultry, fheep, and game, and end as footpads and housebreakers, were as follows: on each, 51. having on each, 51. having no certificate; 51. being unqualified; 51. killing in the night; 11. for keeping dogs and engines ; and transportation for feven years for beating the gamekeeper: but the whole was in this inftance, generously, perhaps too much fo for general fecurity, mitigated to 151. Probably if every penalty had been feparately and minutely laid and levied, agreably to ftatute law, the whole was 100l.

A laughable circumftance lately happened in the neighbourhood of Bow. A Methodist preacher had collected together a pretty numerous congregation in a large fhed, fituate over a washhoufe, in which there was a large ciftern of water. In the middle of a very fervid discoufe to a listening audience, and just after he had with great vehemence pronounced the words

"He

that believeth and is baptised fhall be faved, and he that believeth not, shall be d--d;" fome of the boards on which he ftood being very old and decayed, gave in an inftant, let him down way into the middle of the ciftern of water, which came nearly up to his chin. His pallid looks exhibited the mingled fenfations of diftrefs, wonder, and dismay, at this fudden and unexpected mode of baptifm. The whole congregation were fo panic-ftruck at this ftrange event, and so fearful that the whole building was coming down, that they ran with the greatest precipitation and confufion out of the place; and as soon as they got to the outfide, each faint took to his and her heels, and fled home without looking

PEDESTRIANISM.

There is now living in Bristol, an exciseman, who has walked in five years and three quarters, at a moderate calculation, upwards of 40,000 miles; and as he rested on Sundays, his fix day's walk muft be upwards of 133 miles.

VETERINARIAN LITERATURE. A farrier's account of a mare being stabbed in feveral places, and otherwife ill-treated:

"This is to fatsfy your wofhop that I Jon. Keay was fatcht next morning to look at the mare & I can make it apeer it was melishely dun with fom inftrement & the mare is dangros hill he is very much fweld on the ead beley & fides full of wounds fhe as been propley dreft & care took off but keeps fweling it was dun the twelft of Ser. 1794 & it is now in a foar fityonafhon. I yr humble

"Survant Jon. Keay farrier."

AIRS

In the new Mufical Farce, called LOCK AND KEY.

W

HEN Britain on the foaming main,
Her native reign,
Bids her fons their rights declare;
Soon as her fires have taught the foe
Again to know,

Who their dauntless conquerors are,
The failor's bofom fwells with joy,
Beyond the glory to destroy,

He feels the power to fave;
And, conqu'ring, views a foe no more
In him, who fought his life before,
But lifts him from the wave.
Though feas are rolling mountains high,
Our boats we ply,-
'Tis a fellow-creature falls-

See him raife his hands in fear,

And wond'ring hear

The cheering voice that life recalls;
The failor's bofom, &c. &c.

AIR. RALPH.

A WOMAN is like to-but stay-
What a woman is like, who can fay?
There's no living with or without one :
Love bites like a fly,

Now an ear, now an eye,

Buz, buz, always buzzing about one-
When she is tender and kind,
She is like to my mind,

(And Fanny was fo, I remember)
She is like to-Oh dear!

She's as good, very near,

As a ripe melting peach in September.
If fhe laugh, and she chat,
Play, joke, and all that,

And with smiles and good humour the meet

All lads befide,

And pray'd of Ralph to marry me,

It feem'd fo pat, in tender chat; To whisper, "Fanny, will you marry me M m

The gay Lothario of Threadneedle-ftreet! His folly rarely met the public eye, Or, like a fhadow, pafs unheeded by: Tradefman and rake were then remov'd as far

As gay St. James's is from Temple-Bar. But now the Cit muft breath a purer air, The 'Change he vifits-lives in Bedfordfquare;

Infures a fleet-then BooTLE'S Club attends,

Proud to be notic'd by his titled friends ;
And ftrives to join, by Diffipation's aid,
The Man of Fashion with the Man of
Trade.

Vain to affociate with fuperior rank,
He quits his ledger-for the Faro bank;
His dafhing curricle down Bond-street
drives,

Rifking his own-and worfe-his horfes lives:

Till urging Fortune's glowing wheel too faft

This empty air-blown bubble breaks at laft! Though trade may give such upstart mushrooms birth,

The Muse pays homage to its real worth. This Ifle to Commerce owes her fplendid

ftate;

The fource of all that makes her truly

great:

And 'midft her bufy fons enough are found To raise dejected Mis'ry from the ground. While Commerce, with a lib`ral heart, beftows

Her wealth to mitigate the poor man's woes;

Seeks out the wretch, his gloomy prifon cheers,

And wipes with pitiying hand the widow's

tears.

Th' applauding hand will fay (fach bounty giv'n)

The English Merchant is the Steward of Heav'n!

Our Author now that candour would implore

Which your indulgence has bestow'd before;

Still on a gen'rous public he depends, Give your fupport-he afks no better friends.

EPILOGUE to the fame.

(SPOKEN BY MRS. MATTOCKS.) HE dubious title of our Play this

THE night

Might fill Mamma with joy, or Miss with fright

"The Way to get an Husband," and what

not

But are they worth the getting, when they're got ?

"Yes," cries bold Mifs, whom Mother's

The plump brisk widow takes a diff'rent road,

She cannot walk down Bond-street-she's a

load;

Good fixteen stone to carry--but yet strong, She rolls a wool-pack Venus-broad as long.

Yet fhe's a tender paffion for the Stage; With her, dear Private Acting is the rage: Shakespeare confefies beauties not his

choice,

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O'er the wide field of fable range,
And through each parabolic tract,
Purfue the trail of mural fact;
If grounded in zoologic lore,
Deep as Deucalion was of yore,
Who fack'd old ocean, earth, and air,
His ark to stock with ev'ry pair,
You'll own its nature's orthodox,
That "CRAFT unrival' d marks the Fox."
Fineffe the game, chicane the sport,
Of Fox in country, Fox in Court,
His cover here, and there his kennel,
Plunder and prey delight the fcrannel;
And e'en when time his brush befilvers,
The old grey hirco prowls aad pilfers;
No fpoil he fpares to gorge his maw,
Juftice a jeft! a jeft the law !

Compunction and remorfe are nonfenfe!
No Fox will ftarve for fake of confcience !
Thofe ftrictures paft-the theme we spare,
On Foxes here, or Foxes there,
And turn a homespun tale to tell,
Of one old Fox remember'd well,
Who many a wily trick had play'd,
And many a baited fnare had laid,
So tempting trap and 'ticing gin,
To take th' unwary ftranger in.
In short, old Reynard kept a larder,
Of neighbours wants a kind regarder.
Welcome to all who well could pay,
And open both by night and day;
Where well-trufs'd fowl allur'd the eye,
Keen hunger's cravings to fupply;
With well-pluck'd pigeons, ducks and
geefe;

In fhort, his den was dubb'd " the fleece!"
A name with whim and truth to boot in't,
As all were fleec'd that e'er fet foot in't.
Now fo it hap'da ftraggler one day,
Whether a working-day, or Sunday,
It matters not--the dainty guest
The peery landlord thus addrefs'd:
"My palate leans to fomething nice-
"Get me a woodcock in a trice."
"Yes, Sir-Here, Skipdifh, lay the cloth;
"Sir, would you choose some soup or
broth?

"Not I, I never fluice my chops, "With broths, or foups, or fuch like