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Sporting Intelligence. the window being opposite the miles from Stockport, instead of door, deceived him; he struck going to level his spiritual gun his head with such violence as to against the common enemy, fracture his fcull, and dropped Christmas-day, took out h s miliinstantly dead into a chair, hold tary piece, in order to kill an ing the sparrow fast in his claws.

enemy of a lefs offensive defcrip.

tion. Unfortunately about three As two gentlemen the other weeks preceding the circumftar ce day were settling an account, at the loyal corps had been calied a coffee-house, one of them drew out to quell an imaginary riot, out of his pocker-book a great which might have happened from number of bank-notes, which in the signing of certain petitions duced a gentleman in the same againt the convention bills; but box to exclaim, that he wished luckily having no occasion to exhe had as many as he could carry ercise his prowess on that day, of them. “ Then, fir," replied the his piece remained undischarged; other, “ I do not mind that, but and the folitary bullet which it I think I could carry more than contained, instead of being disthe bank of England could sup- charged at the heads of the fedi. ply me with, for I think I could tious, was reserved for a brace of carry, in ten-pound bank-notes, sparrows, at which he actually as much as the national debt

let fly; but (Oh! horrible! hear amounts to ;" upon which the it not, ye sportmen, and tell it other gentleman offered to lay not in the field of military honour) him a wager of fifty guineas, that our hero, instead of the sparrows, he and nine more of the strongest made the little mistake of shooting men he could select, could not a horse in the head: but as the carry the amount of the national animal does not come under the debt in ten-pound notes, for the game law, our intrepid Alexander distance of mile without was exonerated on paying the pitching: the wager was imme sum of thirteen guineas; a mere diately accepted, and a calculation bagatelle, considering that the sportstook place, when it was found man had not taken out a licence that 512 bank-notes weighed ex for shooting horses. actly one pound weight; and 242 millions, which is computed The Bengal royal tyger, that to be the national debt, weighs killed young Munro fome time 47,265 pounds; when divided

ago on Saugur island, where he among a hundred people, the

had been on a fhooting party, , weight that every one would have (and of which a beautiful print to carry would be 417 pounds is given in a former number of 6 ounces per man. The gentle

our Magazine), was taken up by man who had accepted the wager a Burwhalla (the animal having was struck which astonishment, been killed by one of the party); and immediately paid the money, which proved to be the largeft without having any recourse to creature of the kind ever seen on a trial,

that island.

one

A military hero, whom the fashionable tactics of the day denominate a fencible, in a neighbouring town, 'not a hundred

Lately were convicted two poachers, taken in the 'night, with a brace of hares, on the premifes of Osgood Hanbury, Esq. Cog.

gefuail,

180

Sporting Intelligence. gehall. The penalties on these back, leaving the poor paftor to villains, who equally attack poul. lament his own comfortless con. try, sheep, and game, and end as dition, and the little trust in God, footpads and housebreakers, were manifested by his affrighted and as follows: on each, 5i. having scattered stock. no certificate; 51. being unquali. fied; 51. killing in the night ; il.

A certain dashing young nofor keeping dogs and engines ; bleman has, within these few and transportation for seven years days, resumed his situation in the for beating the gamekeeper: but

Fleet. the whole was in this instance, generously, perhaps too much fo

PEDESTRIANISM. for general security, mitigated to There is now living in Bristol, 151. Probably if every penalty had an exciseman, who has walked in been separately and minutely laid five

years

and three quarters, at a and levied, agreably to statute law, moderate calculation, upwards of the whole was 1ool.

40,000 miles ; and as he refted

on Sundays, his six day's walk muft A laughable circumstance late be upwards of 133 miles. ly happened in the neighbourhood of Bow. A Methodist VETERINARIAN LITERATURE. preacher had collected together a

A farrier's account of a mare pretty numerous congregation in being stabbed in several places, a large shed, situate over a wash. and otherwise ill-treated : house, in which there was a large

“ This is to fatsfy your woshop cistern of water. In the middle that I Jon. Keay was fatcht next of a very fervid discouse to a morning to look at the mare & I Jistening audience, and just after can make it apeer it was melifhehe had with great vehemence ly dun with som instrement & the pronounced the words

mare is dangros hill she is very that believeth and is baptised much sweld on the ead beley & shall be saved, and he that belie fides full of wounds she as been veth not, shall be d-d;" some propley dreft & care took off but of the boards on which he stood keeps sweling it was dun the twelft being very old and decayed, gave of Ser. 1794 & it is now in a foar way in an instant, let him down fityona hon. I yr humble into the middle of the cistern of " Survant Jon. Keay farrier." water, which came nearly up to his chin. His pallid looks exhi An eminent physician some bited the mingled sensations of time ago recommended to valetudistress, wonder, and dismay, at dinarians to dress a horse for an this sudden and unexpected mode hour,

every morning

before of baptism. The whole congre breakfast, with a curry-combor gation were so panic-struck at brush, as very beneficial effects this strange event, and so fearful were produced by the electric that the whole building was com matter and exercise. Several pering down, that they ran with the fons have been restored to a good greatest precipitation and confu ftate of health by persevering in fion out of the place; and as soon this practice; particularly a young as they got to the outside, each lady at Newcastle, who was far faint took to his and her heels, gone in a consumption, is per and fled home without looking | fectly recovered.

POETRY.

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W

AIRS
In the new Musical Farce, called

LOCK AND KEY.

AIR.- CHEERLY.
'HEN Britain on the foaming main,

Her native reign,
Bids her sons their rights declare;
Soon as her fires have taught the foe

Again to know,
Who their dauntless conquerors are,

The sailor's bosom swells with joy,
Beyond the glory to destroy,

He feels the power to save;
And, conqu’ring, views a foe no more
In him, who fought his life before,

But lifts him from the wave. Though seas are rolling mountains high,

Our boats we ply,
'Tis a fellow-creature falls
See him raise his hands in fear,

And wond'ring hear
The cheering voice that life recalls ;

The failor's borom, &c. &c.

But she'll plague you, and vex you,

Distract and perplex you,
False-hearted, and ranging,
Unsettled, and changing,
What then do you think, she is like?
Like a fand ? like a rock ?

Like a wheel? like a clock?
Aye, a clock that is always at Atrike :
Her head's like the island folks tell on,
Which nothing but monkeys can dwell

on,
Her heart's like a lemon--fonice
She carves for each lover a slice;

In truth she's to me
Like the wind, like the sea,
Whose raging will hearken to no man i

Like a mill,
Like a pill,
Like a fail,
Like a whale,
Like an ass,

Like a glass,
Whose image is constant to no manj

Like a flow'r,
Like a fhow'r,
Like a fly,
Like a pie,
Like a pea,
Like a flea,
Like a thief,

Like in brief,
She's like nothing on earth-but a woman!

AIR-FANNY. E'er since I found true love beginning, And thought his hand was worth the win

ning,
I call'd each little artful aid in,
To spare the question from a maiden.

To wake or show, when ask'd to go,
I still denied

All lads beside,
And pray'd of Ralph to marry me,

It seem'd so pat, in tender chat 3
To whisper, " Fanny, will you marry me

Mm

AIR.RALPH.
A WOMAN is like tout stay
What a woman is like, who can fay?

There's no living with or without one :
Love bites like a fly,
Now an ear, now an eye,
Buz, buz, always buzzing about one

When she is tender and kind,

She is like to my mind,
(And Fanny was fo, I remember)

She is like to-Oh dear!

She's as good, very near, As a ripe melting peach in September.

If she laugh, and the chat,

Play, joke, and all that, And with smiles and good humour ihe meet

me, She's like a rich dish Of ven’son or fish, That cries from the table, 6 come eat Vol. VII. No. XLI.

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[me!”

282

P O ET

R Y.

In evening fine, and summer weather,
When o'er the fields we walk'd together,
Tho' I can trip it like a fairy,
I've oft pretended to be weary ;

Then leaning on his arm awhile,

I lily ask him, with a smile,
I'm tired, pray will you carry me?

But, on the way, he ne'er would stay
To whisper, “ Fanny will you marry me?"

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THE

fore;

Still on a gen'rous public he depends,
Give your support - he asks no better

friends.

THE

meet

PROLOGUE

TO THE
WAY TO GET MARRIED.
КНЕ Stage should be to Life a faithful

glass,
Reflecting modes and manners as they pass;
If these extravagant appear to you,
Blame not the Drama - the reflection's

true. Our Author makes of Virtue no parade, And only ridicates the Vice of trade ; Exposes Folly in its native tint, And leave mankind to profit by the hint. The modern Buck, how diff'rent from the

Beau, In bag and ruffles, fixty years ago! The City coxcomb then was seldom seen, (Confind to Bunhill-row or Bethnal

green :) West of Cheapside you then could scarcely The gay Lothario--of Threadneedle-Street! His folly rarely met the public eye, Or, like a shadow, pass unhceded by: Tradesman and rakę were then remov'd as

far As gay St. James's is from Temple-Bar. But now the Cit must breath a purer air, The 'Change he visitslives in Bedford

fquare ; Insures a fleet-then BOOTLE's Club at

tends, Proud to be notic'd by his titled friends; And strives to join, by Disipation's aid, The Man of Fashion with the Man of

Trade. Vain to associate with superior rank, He quits his ledger-for the Faro bank; His dashing curricle down Bond-ftreet

drives, Rifking his own and worse-his horses

lives : Till 'urging Fortune's glowing wheel tuo

faft.com This empty air-blown bubble breaks at last! Though trade may give such upstart mush

rooms birth, The Muse pays homage to its real worth. This Ise to Commerce owes her fplendid

ftate ; The source of all that makes her truly

great :

EPILOGUE to the same. (SPOKEN BY Mrs. MATTOCKS.) WHE dubious title of our Play this

night Might fill Mamma with joy, or Miss with

fright« The Way to get an Husband,” and what

notBut are they worth the getting, when

they're got!“ Yes," cries bold Miss, whom Mother's

kind regard Had led, at young fourteen, 'to " cock her

card ;" « Yes,” cries bold Miss, “whate'er the

Formals fay, They are worth getting, and I know the

way : The way's up Bond-street-where we daily

range, Where launt'ring Bloods crowd Fashion's

full exchange ; There-charming scene !) as undismay'd

we strut, Dogs, Misses, Dukes, and Draymen meet

full-butt! There, lounging, arm-in-arm, half-booted

crops, With heads fo dark--you'd swear they were--black

mops. There, muslin petticoats, with mud fo

lac'd :

Here scarlet Spencers, with an inch of

waist So scarlet, all my rouge they seem to scoff, And looks like lobsters with their tails cut

off." Here, for a husband, is the scene tu dah! Here for the town-bred Miss tow's make a Splash !"

The

PO E T RY.

283

The plump brisk widow takes a diff'rent

road, She cannot walk down Bond-street-she's a

THROL

load;

Good fixteen stone to carry--but yet strong, She rolls a woul-pack Venus-broad as

long. Yet she's a tender passion for the Stage ; With her, dear Private Acting is the rage : Shakespeare confesies beauties

choice, And Juliet grieves in a fine manly voice. Her Romeo, a Lord, might suit your pocket, Looks like a candle funk into the focket. In tones like these, their mutual paffions

not his

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cheek ;

THE FOX AND HIS GUEST.
HROUGH Æfop, Phædrus, Gay,

Lestrange,
O'er the wide field of fable range,
And through each parabolic tract,
Pursue the trail of mural fact ;
If grounded in zoologic lore,
Deep'as Deucalion was of

yore,
Who lack'd old ocean, earth, and air,
His ark to stock with ev'ry pair,
You'll own its nature's orthodox,
That " CRAFT unrivald marks the Fox."

Finesse the game, chicane the sport, Of Fox in country, Fox in Court, His cover here, and there his kennel, Plunder and prey delight the scrannel ; And e'en when time his brush besilvers, The old grey hirco prowls' aad pilfers ; No spoil he spares to gorge his maw, Justice a jeft! a jest the law!' Compunction and remorse are nonsense ! No Fox will starve for sake of conscience ! Those strictures past-the theme we spare, On Foxes here, or Foxes there, And turn a homespun tale to tell, Of one old Fox remember'd well, Who many a wily trick had play'd, And many a baited snare had laid, So tempting trap and 'ticing gin, To take th' unwary stranger in. In short, old Reynard kept a larder, Of neighbours wants a kind regarder. Welcome to all who well could pay, And open both by night and day; Where well-truss'd fowl allur'd the eye, Keen hunger's cravings to supply ; With well-pluck'd pigeons, ducks and

geese ; In short, his den was dubb'd " the fleece!” A name with whim and truth to boot in't, As all were fleec'd that e'er set foot in't. Now so it hap'd--a ftraggler one day, Whether a working-day, or Sunday, It matters not--the dainty guest The peery landlord thus address'd : « My palate leans to something nice « Get me a woodcock in a trice." “ Yes, Sir-Here, Skipdis, lay the cloth; có Şir, would you choose some roup or

broth? " Not I, I never Auice my chops, With breths, or soups, or such like

Nops; “ But get the cock with all dispatch."“ Sir, you shall have it in a snatch.” The bird soon brought, the stranger eye'd

it, And then exclaim'd, “ old Nick betide it! What have we here ? , By heav'ns a

grouse ! " Why, Sir, I would not give a loure

For all that thou haft heard me speak this

night, I am an infant wife, scarce wejded quite.” Accents so sweet, what mortal can with

stand? The stage-ftruck peer makes tender of his Juliet exclaims, as not confenting quite, • What satisfaction canst thou have tu

night ?" If to get married, this be not the wayWhat grace, what charm more potent, can

have sway? A maiden in the country on whose cheek, Pure as the primros'd morn, the blushes

speak ! Whose mind, illumin’d by Nature's sober

ray, Difdains to rule, and chooses to obey-Who, like the Briton, conquers to increase Domestic happiness and lalting peace !

hand ;

2

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