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Hoft. Thou art a Cardalion", king Urinal, Heator of Greece,
Caius. I pray you, bear witnefs dat me have stay from fix or seven, two, tree hours for him, and he is no come.
Shal. He is the wiser man, master doctor; he is a curer of souls, and you a curer of bodies: if you should fight, you go against the hair of your professions: Is it not true, master Page?
Page. Master Shallow, you have yourself been a great fighter, though now a man of peace.
Shal. Body-kins, master Page, though I now be old, and of peace, if I see a sword out, my finger itches to make one: though we are juftices, and doctors, and church-men, master Page, we have fome falt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, master Page.
Page. 'Tis true, master Shallow.
Shal. It will be found so, master Page. Mafter doctor Caius,
Hoft. Pardon, guest-justice; ah! monsieur moek-water !
Caius. By gar, den I have as much mock-vater as de Englishman, scurvy-jack-dog-priest; by gar, me vill cut his ears.
Hof. He will clapper-claw thee tightly, bully.
Caius. By gar, me do look he shall clapper-de-claw me; for, by gar, me vill have it.
Hoft. And I will provoke him to't, or let him wag.
Hoft. And moreover, bully; but first, master guest, and
Page. Sir Hugh is there, is he?
Hoft. He is there ; fee what humour he is in; and I will bring the doctor about the fields : will it do well?
Shal. We will do it.
Caius. By gar, me vill kill de priest; for he speak for a jackan-ape to Anne Page.
Hoft. Let him die; but sheath thy impatience; throw cold water on thy choler; go about the fields with me through Frogmore; I will bring thee where mistress Anne Page is, at a farm-house a feasting, and thou shalt woo her, cock o'th' game; said I well ?
Caius. By gar, me tank you vor dat: by gar, I love you; and I shall procure ’a you de good guest; de earl, de knight, de lords, de gentlemen, my patients.
Hoft. For the which I will be thy adversary toward Anne Page: said I well ?
Caius. By gar, 'tis good; vell said.
ACT III. SCENE I.
Frogmore near Windsor.
E VAN S.
look'd for master Caius, that calls himself doctor of phyfick ?
Simp. Marry, sir, the pitty-wary, the park-ward, old Windsor way, and every way but the town way.
Eva. I most fehemently desire you, you will also look that way.
Eva. 'Pless my soul! how full of chollars I am, and trempling of mind! I shall be glad if he have deceiv'd me; how melan
chollies I am! I will knog his urinals about his knave's costard, when I have good opportunities for the ork: 'pless my soul!
[Sings, being afraid.
And a thousand vragant pofies.
Simp. Yonder he is coming, this way, fir Hugh.
Eva. He's welcome. By Mallow rivers, to whose falls — Heav'n prosper the right! what weapons is he?
Simp. No weapons, fir; there comes my master, master Shallow, and another gentleman, from Frogmore, over the stile,
Eva. Pray you give me my gown; or else keep it in your arms.
S CE N E II.
Enter Page, Shallow, and Slender.
Slen. Ah sweet Anne Page!
Shal. What? the sword and the word? do you study them both, master parson?
Page. And youthful still, in your doublet and hofe, this raw rheumatick day?
Eva. There is reasons and causes for it.
Page. Yonder is a most reverend gentleman, who, belike, having receiv'd wrong by some person, is at most odds with his own gravity and patience, that ever you saw.
Shal. I have liv'd fourscore years, and upward; I never heard a man of his place, gravity, and learning, so wide of his own respect.
Eva. What is he?
Page. I think, you know him; master doctor Caius, the renowned French physician.
Eva. Got's will, and his passion of my heart! I had as lief you should tell me of a mess of porridge.
Eva. He has no more knowledge in Hibocrates and Galen; and he is a knave besides, a cowardly knave as you would desire to be acquainted withal.
Page. I warrant you, he's the man should fight with him.
Enter Hoft, Caius, and Rugby.
Page. Nay, good master parson, keep in your weapon.
Hoft. Disarm them, and let them question; let them keep their limbs whole, and hack our English.
Caius. I pray you, let-a me speak a vord vith your ear: verfore vill you not meet-a me?
Eva. Pray you, use your patience in good time.
Eva. Pray you, let us not be laughing-stocks to other men's humours; I desire you in friendship, and will one way or other make you amends ; I will knog your urinal about your knave's cogs-comb for missing your meetings and appointments.
Caius. Diable ! Jack Rugby, mine host de jartere, have I not stay for him, to kill him? have I not at de place I did appoint?
Eva. As I am a christian's-soul now, look you, this is the place appointed : I'll be judgment by mine host of the garter. VOL.I.
Hoft. Peace, I say, Gallia and Wallia, French and Welch, foul-cuter and body-curer.
Caius. Ay, dat is very good, excellent.
Hoft. Peace, I say; hear mine host of the garter. Am I litick? am I subtle ? am I a Machiavel? shall I lose my doctor? no; he gives me the potions and the motions. Shall I lose
my priest? my sir Hugh? no; he gives me the proverbs and the noverbs. Give me thy hand, celestial, fo. Boys of art, I have deceiv'd you both: I have directed you to wrong places; your hearts are mighty, your skins are whole, and let bürn'd fack be the issue. Come, lay their swords to pawn. Follow me, lad of peace, follow, follow, follow.
Shal. Trust me, a mad host. Follow, gentlemen, follow. Slen. O sweet Anne Page! [Ex. Shal. Šlen. Page and Host
. Caius. Hal do I perceive dat? have you make-a de fot of us, ha, ha?
Eva. This is well, he has made us his vlouting-stock. I desire you, that we may be friends; and let us knog our prains together to be revenge on this same scald-fcurvy-cogging companion, the host of the garter:
Caius. By gar, vith all my heart; he promise to bring me ver is Anne Page; by gar, he deceive me too.
Eva. Well, I will smite his noddles; pray you, follow. [Exeunt.
Enter mistress Page and Robin.
wont to be a follower, but now you are a leader. Whether had you rather, lead mine eyes, or eye your master's heels?
Rob. I had rather, forsooth, go before you like a man, than follow him like a dwarf.