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sake of accumulating wealth : Poor man, says I, you do indeed pay too much for your whistle.
When I meet a man of pleasure, sacrificing every laudable improvement of the mind, or of his fortune, to mere corporeal sensations ; Mistaken man, says I, you are providing pain for your. self, instead of pleasure ; you give too much for
If I see one fond of fine cloths, fine furniture, fine equipages, all above his fortune, for which he contracts debts, and ends his career in prison ; Alas, says I, he has paid dear, very dear, for his whistle.
When I see a beautiful, sweet tempered girl, married to an ill-natured brute of a husband ; What a pity it is, says I, that she has paid so much for a whistle.
In short, I conceive that great part of the mis. eries of mankind were brought upon them by the false estimates they had made of the value of things, and by their giving too much for their whistles.
A PETITION TO THOSE WHO HAVE THE SUPERINTEN
DENCY OF EDUCATION. I ADDRE S myself to all the friends of youth, and conjure them to direct their compasșionate regards to my unhappy fate, in order to remove the prejudices of which I am the victim. There are twin sisters of us ; and the two eyes of man do not more resemble, nor are capable of being upon better terms with each other, than my sister and myself, were it not for the partiality of our parents, who make the most injurious distinctions between us. From my infancy I have been led to consider my sister as a being of a more elevated rank. I was suffered to grow up without the least instruction, while nothing was spared in her educatation. She had masters to teach her writing, drawing, music, and other accomplishments ; but if by chance I touched a pencil, a pen, or a needle, I was bitterly rebuked ; and more than once I have been beaten for being awkward, and wanting a graceful manner. It is true, my sister associated me with her upon some occasions ; but she always made a point of taking the lead, calling upon me only from necessity, or to figure by her side.
But conceive not, Sirs, that my complaints are instigated merely by vanity-No; my uneasiness is occasioned by one object much more serious. It is the practice in our family, that the whole business of providing for its subsistence falls upon my sister and myself. If any indisposition should attack my sister--and I mention it in confidence, upon this occasion, that she is subject to the gout, the rheumatism and cramp, without making mention of other accidents-what would be the fate of our poor family ? Must not the ' regret of our parents be excessive, at having placed so great a difference between sisters who are perfectly equal ? Alas! we must perish from distress : for it would not be in my power even to scrawl a suppliant petition for relief, having
been obliged to employ the hand of another in transcribing the request which I have now the honour to prefer to you.
Condescend, Sirs, to make my parents sensible of the injustice of an exclusive tenderness, and of the necessity of distributing their care and affection among all their children equally.
I am, with a profound respect,
THE LEFT HAND.
THE HANDSOME AND DEFORMED LEG.
THERE are two sorts of people in the world, who with equal degrees of health and wealth, and the other comforts of life, become the one happy, and the other miserable. This arises very much from the different views in which they consider things, persons, and events; and the effect of those different views upon minds.
In whatever situation men can be placed, they may find conveniencies and inconveniencies ; in whatever compary, they may find persons and conversation more or less pleasing ; at whatever table, they níay meet with meats and drinks of better and worse taste, dishes better and worse dressed : in whatever climate they will find good and bad weather : under whatever government, they may find good and bad laws, and good and bad administration of those laws : in whatever
poem, or work of genius, they may see faults and beauties : in almost every face, and every person, they may discover fine features and defects, good and bad qualities.
Under these circumstances, the two sorts of people above-mentioned, fix their attention, those who are disposed to be happy, on the conveniencies of things, the pleasant parts of conversation, the well dressed dishes, the goodness of the wines, the fine weather, &c. and enjoy all with cheerful.
Those who are to be unhappy, think and speak only of the contraries. Hence they are continually discontented themselves, and by their remark, sour the pleasures of society ; offend personally many people, and make themselves every where disagreeable. If this turn of mind was founded in nature, such unhappy persons would be the more to be pitied. But as the disposition to criticise, and to be disgusted, is perhaps, taken up originally by imitation, and is, unawares, grown into a habit, which, though at present strong, may nevertheless be cured, when those who have it are convinced of its bad effects on their felicity ; I hope this little admonition may be of service to them, and put them on changing a habit, which, though in the exercise, it is chiefly an act of imagination, yet has serious consequences in life, as it brings on real griefs and misfortunes. For as many are offended by, and nobody loves this sort of people ; no one shews them more than he most common civility and respect, and scarcely that; and this frequently puts them out of humour, and draws them into disputes and contentions. If they aim at obtaining some advantage in rank or fortune, no. body wishes them success, or will stir a step, or speak a word to favour their pretensions. If they incur public censure or disgrace, no one will defend or excuse, and many join to aggra. vate their misconduct, and render them completely odious: If these people will not change this bad habit, and condescend to be pleased with what is pleasing, without fretting themselves and others about the contraries, it is good for others to avoid an acquaintance with them ; which is always disagreeable, and sometimes very incon. venient, especially when one finds one's self en, tangled in their quarrels.
An old philosophical friend of mine was grown, from experience, very cautious in this particular, and carefully avoided any intimacy with such peo. ple. He had, like other philosophers, a thermometer to shew him the heat of the weather and a barometer, to mark when it was likely to prove good or bad ; but there being no instru. ment invented to discover, at first sight, this unpleasing disposition in a person, he, for that purpose, made use of his legs ; one of which was remarkably handsome, the other, by some accident, crooked and deformed. If a stranger, at the first interview, regarded his ugly leg more than his handsome one, he doubted him. If he spoke of it, and took no notice of the handsome leg, that was sufficient to determine my philosopher to have no further acquaintance with him. Every body has not this two legged instrument;