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be as oft with your master, as with my mistress: I think I saw your wisdom there.
Vio. Nay, an thou pass upon me, I'll no more with thee. Hold, there's expenses for thee.
Clo. Now Jove, in his next commodity of hair, send thee a beard!
Vio. By my troth, I'll tell thee; I am almost sick for one; though I would not have it grow on my chin. Is thy lady within ?
Clo. Would not a pair of these have bred, Sir?
Vio. Yes, being kept together, and put to use.
Clo. I would play lord Pandarus* of Phrygia, Sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
Vio. I understand you, Sir; 'tis well begg'd.
Clo. The matter, I hope, is not great, Sir, begging but a beggar; Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, Sir. I will construe to them whence you come; who you are, and what you would, are out of my welkin: I might say, element; but the word is
Vio. This fellow's wise enough to play the fool;
For folly, that he wisely shows, is fit;
But wise men, folly-fallen, quite taint their wit.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK.
Sir To. Save you, gentleman.
Vio. And you, Sir.
Sir And. Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
Vio. Et vous aussi; votre serviteur.
Sir And. I hope, Sir, you are; and I am yours.
Sir To. Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her.
Vio. I am bound to your niece, Sir: I mean, she is the list
of my voyage.
Sir To. Taste your legs, Sir, put them to motion.
Vio. My legs do better understand me, Sir, than I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
Sir To. I mean to go, Sir, to enter.
Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance: But we are prevented.
Enter OLIVIA and MARIA.
Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours on
Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier! Rain odours! well.
* See the play of Troilus and Cressida.
† A hawk not well trained.
Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant and vouchsafed ear.
Sir And. Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed:-I'll get 'em all three ready.
Oli. Let the garden-door be shut, and leave me to my hearing. [Exeunt SIR TOBY, SIR ANDREW, and MARIA. Give me your hand, Sir.
Vio. My duty, Madam, and most humble service.
Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess.
Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours;
Oli. For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts, 'Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me! Vio. Madam, I come to wet your gentle thoughts On his behalf:
Oli. O, by your leave, I pray you;
I bade you never speak again of him:
I had rather hear you to solicit that,
Than music from the spheres.
Vio. Dear lady,
Oli. Give me leave, I beseech you: I did send,
A ring in chase of you; so did I abuse
To force that on you, in a shameful cunning,
Which you knew none of yours: What might you think?
Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
And baited it with all the unmuzzled thoughts
That tyrannous heart can think? To one of your receivingt
Enough is shown; a cyprus, not a bosom,
Hides my poor heart: So let me hear you speak.
Vio. I pity you.
Oli. That's a degree to love.
Vio. No, not a grise; for 'tis a vulgar proof,
That very oft we pity enemies.
Oli. Why, then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again:
O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
If one should be a prey, how much the better
To fall before the lion, than the wolf?
The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.-
There lies your way, due west.
Vio. Then westward-hoe:
Grace, and good disposition 'tend your ladyship.
I pr'ythee, tell me what thou think'st of me.
Vio. That you do think, you are not what you are.
am, I wish it might;
Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
In the contempt and anger of his lip!
A murd'rous guilt shows not itself more soon
Than love that would seem hid: love's night is noon.
By maidhood, honour, truth, and everything,
I love thee so, that maugre* all thy pride,
Nor wit, nor reason, can my passion hide.
And so adieu, good Madam; never more
Oli. Yet come again: for thou, perhaps, may'st move
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
SCENE II-A Room in Olivia's house.
Enter SIR TOBY BELCH, SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, and FABIAN.
Sir And. No 'faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.
Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom; give thy reason.
Fab. You must needs yield your reason, Sir Andrew.
Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the count's serving man, than ever she bestowed upon me; I saw't i' the orchard.
Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that.
Fab. This was a great argument of love in her toward you.
Fab. I will prove it legitimate, Sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.
Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men, since before Noah was a sailor.
Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver: you should then have
In spite of.
accosted her; and with some excellent jest, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was baulked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, either of valour or policy.
Sir And. An't be any way, it must be with valour; for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist* as a politician.
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places; my niece shall take note of it: and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman, than report of valour. Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge to him? Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curstt and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent, and full of invention: taunt him with the license of ink: if thou thous't him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although (the sheet were big enough for the bed of Waref in England, set 'em down; go, about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink; though thou write with a goose pen, no matter: About it.
Sir And. Where shall I find you?
Sir To. We'll call at the cubiculo :§ Go.
[Exit SIR ANDREW. Fab. This is a dear manakin to you, Sir Toby.
Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad; some two thousand strong, or so.
Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him: but you'll not deliver it.
Sir To. Never trust me, then; and by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and wainropes || cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were opened, and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of the anatomy.
Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.
Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren of nine comes.
Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into stitches, follow me; yon' gull Malvolio is turned heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian, that means to be saved by believing rightly, can ever believe such impossible passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.
Sir To. And cross-gartered?
Mar. Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps a school i'the church.-I have dogged him, like his murderer: He does
* Separatists in Queen Elizabeth's reign.
In Hertfordshire, which held forty persons.
obey every point of the letter that I dropped to betray him. He does smile his face into more lines than are in the new map, with the augmentation of the Indies: you have not seen such a thing as 'tis; I can hardly forbear hurling things at him. I know, my lady will strike him; if she do, he'll smile, and take't for a great favour.
Sir To. Come, bring us, bring us where he is.
SCENE III-A Street.
Enter ANTONIO and SEBASTIAN.
Seb. I would not, by my will, have troubled you; But, since you make your pleasure of your pains, I will no further chide
Ant. I could not stay behind you; my desire,
Seb. My kind Antonio,
I can no other answer make, but thanks,
And thanks, and ever thanks: Often good turns
Ant. To-morrow, Sir; best, first, go see your lodging
I pray you, let us satisfy our eyes
With the memorials, and the things of fame,
Ant. Would, you'd pardon me;
I do not without danger walk these streets:
I did some service; of such note, indeed,
That, were I ta'en here, it would scarce be answer'd.
What we took from them; which, for traffic's sake,
For which, if I be lapsed+ in this place,
I shall pay dear.
Seb. Do not then walk too open.