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Slen. I will do a greater thing than that, upon your request, cousin, in any reason.
Shal. Nay, conceive me, conceive me, sweet coz; what I do, is to pleasure you, coz: Can you love the maid ?
Slen. I will marry her, Sir, at your request; but if there be no great love in the beginning, yet heaven may decrease it upon better acquaintance, when we are married, and have more occasion to know one another: I hope, upon familiarity will grow more contempt: but if you say, marry her, I will marry her, that I am freely dissolved, and dissolutely.
Eva. It is a fery discretion answer; save, the faul is in the 'ort dissolutely; the 'ort is, according to our meaning, resolutely; his meaning is good.
Shal. Ay, I think my cousin meant well.
Re-enter ANNE PAGE. Shal. Here comes fair mistress Anne: Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne !
Anne. The dinner is on the table ; my father desires your worships' company.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne.
[Exeunt SHALLOW and SIR H. EVANS.
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: (Exit SIMPLE.) A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man: I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: But what though ? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit till you come.
Slen. I' faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Anne. I pray you, Sir, walk in.
Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you ; I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys* for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?
Anne. I think there are, Sir; I heard them talked of.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England.—You are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
Anne. Ay, indeed, Sir.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackersont loose twenty times ; and have taken him by the chain:
* Three set-to's, bouts, or hits.
but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shrieked at it, that it passed :* but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
Re-enter PAGE. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come, we stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing, I thank you, Sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, Sir: come, come. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Page. Come on, Sir. Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Anne. Not I, Sir; pray you, keep on. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la; I will not do you Anne. I pray you, Sir.
Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la.
[Exeunt. SCENE II.-The same.
Enter SIR HUGH EVANS and SIMPLE. Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mistress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
Simp. Well, Sir.
Eva. Nay, it is petter yet:give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to desire and require ber to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you, begone; I will make an end of my dinner; there's pippins and cheese to
[Exeunt. SCENE III.- A Room in the Garter Inn. Enter FALSTAFF, HOST, BARDOLPH, NYM PISTOL, and
ROBIN. Fal. Mine host of the Garter,
Host. What says my bully-rook ? Speak scholarly and wisely.
Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
Host. Discard, bullya Hercules ; cashier: let them wag ; trot, trot.
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host. Thou’rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar, I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector ?
Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke; let him follow: Let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow.
* Surpassed all expression.
Fal. Bardolph, follow him: a tapster is a good trade: An old cloak makes a new jerkin ; a withered serving-man, a fresh tapster: Go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive.
[Exit BARD. Pist. O base Gongarian* wight! wilt thou the spigot wield ? Nym. He was gotten in drink: Is not the humour conceited ? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it.
Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinder-box; his thefts were too open.: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: Steal ! foh ; a ficot for the phrase.
Fal. Well, Sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol ; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste: I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her ; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation : I can construe the action of her familiar style ; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be Englished rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English.
Nym. The anchor is deep : will that humour pass ?
Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels. I
Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her, boy, say I.
Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examined my parts with most judicious eyliads; sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Pist. Then did the sun on dunghill shine.
Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her : she bears the purse too! she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheaters to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. * For Hungarian.
Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation.
Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to RoB.] bear you these letters tightly;* Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.Rogues, hence avaunt! vanish like hailstones, go; Trudge, plod, away, o'er the hoof; seek shelter, pack ! Falstaff will learn the humour of this age, French thrift, you rogues ; myself, and
[Exeunt FALSTAFF and ROBIN. Pist. Let vultures gripe thy guts! for gourd and fullamt
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.
Pist. Wilt thou revenge ?
Nym. With both the humours, I:
How Falstaff, varlet vile,
And his soft couch defile. Nym. My humour shall not cool; I will incenseş Page to deal with poison; I will possess him with yellowness, il for the revolt of mien is dangerous: that is my true humour.
Pist. Thou art the Mars of malcontents : I second thee; troop on.
[Exeunt. SCENE IV.-A Room in Dr. Caius' House.
Enter MRS. QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY. Quick. What; John Rugby!—I pray thee, go to the casement, and see if you can see my master, master Doctor Caius, coming: if he do, i faith, and find any body in the house, here will be an old abusing of God's patience and the king's English. Rug. I'll go watch.
[Exit RUGBY. Quick. Go; and we'll have a posset for't soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a sea-coal fire. An honest, willing, kind fellow, as ever servant shall come in house withal; and, I warrant you, no tell-tale, nor no breed-bate:This worst fault is, that he is given to prayer; he is something peevish** that way: but nobody but has his fault;-but let that pass. Peter Simple you say your name is ? Sim. Ay, for fault of a better. Quick. And master Slender's your master ? * Cleverly. + False dice.
# Sixpence I'll have in pocket. Instigate. | Jealousy.
Sim. Ay, forsooth.
Quick. Does he not wear a great round beard, like a glover's paring-knife?
Sim. No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee face, with a little yellow beard ; a Cain-coloured beard.
Quick. A softly-sprighted man, is he not ?
Sim. Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall* a man of his hands, as any is between this and his head ; he hath fought with a warrener.t
Quick. How say you ?-0, I should remember him ? Does he not hold
up his head, as it were ? and strut in his gait ? Sim. Yes, indeed, does he.
Quick. Well, heaven send Anne Page_no worse fortune! Tell master parson Evans, I will do what I can for your master : Anne is a good girl, and I wish
Re-enter RUGBY. Rug. Out, alas! here comes my master.
Quick. We shall all be shent:f Run in here, good young man; go into this closet. [Shuts SIMPLE in the closet.] He will not stay long.-What, John Rugby! John, what, John, I say !--Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt, he be not well, that he comes not home:-and down, down, adown-a, &c. [Sings.
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS. Caius. Vat is you sing? I do not like dese toys; Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet un boitier verd; a box, a greena box; Do intend vat I speak ? a green-a box.
Quick. Ay, forsooth, I'll fetch it you. I am glad he went not in himself; if he had found the young man, he would have been horn-mad.'
[Aside. Caius. Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort chaud. Je m'en vais à la Cour,-la grand affaire.
Quick. Is it this, Sir?
Quick. What, John Rugby! John!
Caius. You are John Rugby, and you are Jack Rugby : Come, take-a your rapier, and come after my heel to de court.
Rug. 'Tis ready, Sir, here in the porch.
-d's me! Quay j'oublié? dere is some simples in my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall leave behind.
Quick. Ah me! he'll find the young man there, and be mad.
Čaius. O diable, diable ! vat is in my closet ?-Villany ? larron! [Pulling SIMPLE out.] Rugby, my rapier.
Quick. Good master, be content.
Čaius. Vat shall de honest man do in my closet ? dere is no honest man dat shall come in my closet.
+ The keeper of a warren. Scolded, reprimanded.