THE TWELFTH NIGHT; ов, WHAT YOU WILL. PERSONS REPRESENTED. ORSINO, Duke of Illyria. FABIAN, SEBASTIAN, a Young Gentleman, CLOWN; } Servants to Olivia. Brother to Viola. OLIVIA, a rich Countess. Gentlemen attend- MARIA, Olivia's Woman. ing on the Duke. SIR TOBY BELCH, Uncle of urina. ; LORDS, PRIESTS, SAILORS, OFyi. SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. CERS, MUSICIANS, and other At MALVOLIO, Steward to Olivia. tendants. SCENE.-A City in Illyria ; and the Sea-coast near it. ACT I. SCENE I.-An Apartment in the Duke's Palace, Enter DUKE, CURIO, LORDS; Musicians attending. * Value. Even in a minute! so full of shapes is fancy, go hunt, my lord ? Duke. Why, so I do, the noblest that I have and cruel hounds, Enter VALENTINE. Duke. she, that hath a heart of that fine frame, SCENE II.-The Sea-coast. Enter VIOLA, CAPTAIN, and Sailors. were saved. Cap. True, madam: and, to comfort you with chance, I 4 Heated. Vio. For saying so, there's gold: Cap. Ay, madam, well; for I was bred and born Vio. Who governs here? Cap. A noble duke, in nature, Vio. What is his name? Cap. And so is now, Vio. What's she? Cap. A virtuous maid, the daughter of a count, Vio. O, that I served that lady: Cap. That were hard to compass ; Vio. There is a fair behaviour in thee, captain Cap. Be you his eunuch, and your mute I'll be: * Approve. [Exeunt SCENE III.- A Room in Olivia's House. Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and MARIA. Sir To. What a plague means my niece, to take the death of her brother thus ? I am sure, care's an enemy to life. Mar. By my troth, Sir Toby, you must come in earlier o'nights: your cousin, my lady, takes great exceptions to your ill hours. Sir To. Why, let her except before excepted. Mar. Ay, but you must confine yourself within the modest limits of order. Sir To. Confine? I'll confine myself no finer than I am: these clothes are good enough to drink in, and so be these boots too; an they be not, let them hang themselves in their own straps. Mar. That quaffing and drinking will undo you: I heard my lady talk of it yesterday; and of a foolish knight, that you brought in one night here, to be her wooer. Sir To. Who? Sir Andrew Ague-cheek? Mar. Ay, but he'll have but a year in all these ducats; he's a very fool, and a prodigal. Sir To. Fye, that you'll say so! he plays o' the vio-de-gambo, and speaks three or four languages, word for word, without book, and hath all the good gifts of nature. Mar. He hath, indeed, -almost natural: for, besides that he's a fool, he's a great quarreller; and, but that he hath the gift of a coward to allay the gust he hath in quarrelling, 'tis thought among the prudent, he would quickly have the gift of a grave. Sir To. By this hand, they are scoundrels, and subtractors, that say so of him. Who are they? Mar. They that add, moreover, he's drunk nightly in your company. Şir To. With drinking healths to my niece; I'll drink to her, as long as there is a passage in my throat, and drink in Illyria: He's a coward and a coystrilt that will not drink to my niece, till his brains turn o' the toe, like a parish top. What wench? Castiliano vulgo; for here comes Sir Andrew Ague-face. Enter SIR ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK. Sir And. Sir Toby Belch! how now, Sir Toby Belch ? Sir To. Sweet Sir Andrew ! Sir And. Bless you, fair shrew. Mar. And you too, Sir. Sir To. Accost, Sir Andrew, accost. Sir And. What's that? Sir To. My niece's chamber-maid. Sir And. Good mistress Accost, I desire better acquaintance. Mar. My name is Mary, Sir. * Stout. + Keystril, a bastard hawk. a : Sir And. Good mistress Mary Accost, Sir To. You mistake, knight: accost is, front her, board her, woo her, assail her. Sir And. By my troth, I would not undertake her in this company. Is that the meaning of accost ? Mar. Fare you well, gentlemen. Sir To. An thou let part so, Sir Andrew; would thou mightst never draw sword again. Sir And. An you part so, mistress, I would I might never draw sword again. Fair lady, do you think you have fools in hand ? Mar. Sir, I have not you by the hand. Mar. Now, Sir, thought is free: I pray you, bring your hand to the buttery-bar, and let it drink. Sir And. Wherefore, sweet heart? what's your metaphor ? Mar. It's dry, Sir. Sir And. Why, I think so; I am not such an ass, but I can keep my hand dry. But what's your jest ? Mar. A dry jest, Sir. Mar. Ay, Sir, I have them at my fingers' ends: marry, now I let go your hand, I am barren. [Exit MARIA. Sir To. O knight, thou lack’st a cup of canary: When did I see thee so put down? Sir And. Never in your life, I think; unless you see canary put me down: Methinks, sometimes I have no more wit than a Christian, or an ordinary man has: but I am a great eater of beef, and, I believe, that does harm to my wit. Sir To. No question. Sir And. An I thought that, I'd forswear it. I'll ride home to-morrow, Sir Toby. Sir To. Pourquoy, my dear knight? Sir And. What is pourquoy? do or not do? I would I had bestowed that time in the tongues, that I have in fencing, dancing, and bear-baiting: O, had I but followed the arts ! Sir To. Then hadst thou had an excellent head of hair. not? Sir To. Excellent; it hangs like flax on a distaff; and I hope to see a housewife take thee between her legs, and spin it off. Sir And. 'Faith, I'll home to-morrow, Sir Toby: your piece will not be seen; or, if she be, it's four to one she'll none of me: the count himself , here hard by, wooes her. Sir To. She'll none o'the count; she'll not match above her degree, neither in estate, years, nor wit; I have heard her swear it. Tút, there's life in't, man. Sir And. I'll stay a month longer. I am a fellow o' the strangest mind if the world; I delight in masques and revels sometimes altogether. Sir To. Art thou good at these kickshaws, knight? Sir And. As any man in Illyria, whatsoever he be, under the a |