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I know thy constellation is right apt....
For this affair: fome four or five attend him;
All, if you will; for I myself am best
When least in company. Profper well in this,
And thou shalt live as freely as thy Lord,
To call his fortunes thine.

Vio. I'll do my best

To woo your Lady; yet a barful strife !
Whoe'er I woo, myself would be his wife.

[Exeunt.

SCENE VI. Changes to Olivia's house.

Enter Maria and Clown.

1

Mar. Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may enter in way of thy excuse; my Lady will hang thee for thy abfence.

Clo. Let her hang me; he that is well hang'd in

this world, needs fear no colours.

Mar. Make that good.

Clo. He shall fee none to fear.

L

Mar. A good lenten anfwer. I can tell thee where

that saying was born, of I fear no colours.

Clo. Where, good Mistress Mary?

Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold to fay

in your foolery.

Glo. Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.

Mar. Yet you will be hang'd for being fo long ab fent, or be turn'd away; is not that as good as hanging to you?

Clo. Marry, a good hanging prevents a bad marriage; and for turning away, let fummer beat it out. Mar. You are refolute, then?

Clo. Not so neither; but I am refolv'd on two points. Mar. That if one break, the other will hold;

both break, your gaskins fall.

or if

Clo. Apt, in good faith; very apt: well, go thy way; if Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.

Mar

2

Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my Lady; make your excuse wifely, you were beft.

[Exit

SCENE VII. Enter Olivia, and Malvolio.

Clo. Wit, and't be thy will, put me into a good fooling! Those wits that think they have thee, do very oft prove fools; and I that am fure 1 lack thee, may pass for a wife man. For what fays Quinapalus? Better be a witty fool than a foolish wit. God bless chee, Lady!

Oli. Take the fool away.

Clo. Do you not hear, fellows? take away the I ady. Oli. Go to, y'are a dry fool; I'll no more of you; befides, you grow dishoneft.

Clo. Two faults, Madona, that drink and good counsel will amend; for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry. Bid the dishonest man mend himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishoneft; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing that's mended, is but patch'd; virtue that transgresses, is but patch'd with fin; and fin that amends, is but patch'd with virtue. If that this fimple fyllogifm will serve so; if it will not, what remedy? as there is no true cuckold but calamity, fo beauty's a flower: the lady bade take away the fool; therefore I say again, take her away.

Oli. Sir, I bade them take away you.

Clo. Mifprifion in the highest degree. Lady, Gucullus non facit monachum; that's as much as to say, I wear not motley in my brain. Good Madona, give me leave to prove you a fool.

- Oli. Can you do it?

**

Clo. Dexterously, good Madona.

Qli. Make your proof.

Clo. I must catechise you for it, Madona; good my

mouse of virtue, answer me.

a

Oli. Well, Sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof.

Clo. Good Madona, why mourn'st thou ?
Oli. Good fool, for my brother's death.
Clo. I think his foul is in hell, Madona.
Oli. I know his foul is in heav'n, fool.

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Clo.

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Glo. The more fool you, Madona, to mourn for your brother's foul being in heav'n. Take away the fool, Gentlemen.

Oli. What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not mend?

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Mal. Yes, and shall do, till the pangs of death shake him. Infirmity, that decays the wife, doth ever make better the fool.

Glo. God fend you, Sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox; but he will not pass his word for two pence that you are no fool.

Oli. How say you to that, Malvolio?

Mal. I marvel your Ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool, that has no more brain than a stone. Look you now, he's out of his guard already; unless you laugh and minister occafion to him, he is gagg'd. I protest, I take these wife men that crow fo at these fet kind of fools, no better than the fools' Zanies.

Oli. O, you are fick of felf-love, Malvolio, and taste with a distemper'd appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free difpofition, is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets there is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.

Clo. Now, Mercury endue thee with pleasing, for thou speak'st well of fools!

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Mar. Madam, there is at the gate a young gentle

man much defires to speak with you.

Oli. From the Count Orfino, is it?

Mar. I know not, Madam; 'tis a fair young man,

and well attended.

Oli. Who of my people hold him in delay?
Mar. Sir Toby, Madam, your uncle.

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Oli. Fetch him off, I pray you; he speaks nothing but madman: fie on him! Go you, Malvolio; if it be a fuit from the Count, I am fick, or not at home: what you will, to dismiss it. (Exit Malvolio.] Now,

you

you fee, Sir, how your fooling grows old, and people diflike it, Г.

'i y

Clo. Thou hast spoke for us, Madona, as if thy eldest fon should be a fool: whosescull Jove cram with brains, for here comes one of thy kin has a most weak pia mater!mq

SCENE VIII, Enter Sir Toby.

Oli. By mine honour, half drunk. What is he at

the gate, uncle?

Sir Tob. A gentleman.

Oli. A gentleman? what gentleman ?

{

Sir To. 'Tis a gentleman-heir, A plague o' these

pickle herring! how now, fot?

1. Glo. Good Sir Toby,

Oli. Uncle, uncle, how have you come so early by this lethargy?

Sir To. Letchery! I defy letchery. There's one at the gate.

Oli. Ay, marry, what is he?

Sir To. Let him be the devil an he will, I care not:

give me faith, say I. Well, its all one.

Q: What's a drunken man like, fool?

[Exit.

Clo. Like a drown'd man, a fool, and a madman : one draught above heat makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a third drowns him.

i

Oli. Go thou and feek the corner, and let him fit o'my uncle; for he's in the third degree of drink; he's drown'd: go, look after him.

Clo. He is but mad yet, Madona, and the fool shall look to the madman.

Enter. Malvolio.

[Exit Clown,

1

Mal. Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I told him you were fick; he takes on him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems to have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, Lady? he's fortified against any denial.

C

Oli. Tell him he shall not speak with me.

Mal. He has been told fo; and he fays, he'll fstand

at

at your door like a sheriff's post *, and be the fupporter to a bench, but he'll speak with you. Oli. What kind o'man is he?

Mal. Why of mankind.

Oli. What manner of man?

:

Mal. Of very ill manners; he'll speak with you,

will you or no.

Oli. Of what personage and years is he?

Mal. Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough for a boy; as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or a codling when 'tis almost an apple: 'tis with him in standing water, between boy and man. He is very well favoured, and he speaks very threwishly; one would think his mother's milk were scarce out of him.

Oli. Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman. Mal. Gentlewoman, my Lady calls.

SCENE IX. Enter Maria.

[Exit.I

Oli. Give me my veil: come, throw it o'er my face; We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.

Enter Viola.

Vio. The honourable lady of the house, which is she? Oli. Speak to me, I shall answer for her: your will? Vio. Most radiant, exquifite, and unmatchable beauty -I pray you, tell me, if this be the lady of the house, for I never saw her. I would be loth to cast away my speech; for, befides that it is excellently well penn'd, I have take great pains to con it. Good beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very comptible †, even to the least finifter ufage.

Oli. Whence came you, Sir?

Vio. I can fay little more than I have studied, and that question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give

* Heretofore all proclamations by the King, all appointments of the rates of wages by the justices of peace, and other things of the like nature, were fent to the sheriff of each county, who was obliged to promulgate them, not only by caufing them to be read in every market-town, but by affixing them to fome convenient place within it; for which purpose great posts or pillars were erected in each such town, and these were called heriff's posts.

† Comptible, for ready to call to account.

1.

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